j-

I Dance Interpretations Presented
I By Iva Kiichell, Dance Satirist
I Civic Music Association
I Sponsors Stage Celebrity
i In Downtown Concert
I Before a capacity audience in the
1

I Bloomsburg High School Auditorium
I on the evening of January 13, 1949,
I Miss Iva Kitchell presented a stellar
performance of satirical and classical
ballet interpretations. Several numbers were composed and arranged for
the artist by her pianist-accompanist,
Harvey Brown. Other numbers by
this pint-sized package of Panic pageantry were set to accompaniments by
modern and classical composers, as
she kept the entire audience in a
mirthful mood throughout most of
what proved to be a very entertaining
program.
Opening with "Sonatina Rococco,"
in three movements, "Allegro Artifici al," "Andante Sentimental," and
"Rondo Con Esprit," by Harvey
Brown, Miss Kitchell flitted , seemingly t otter ed , about the stage, but proved herself to be completely in control
of this selection , as was the case in all
her parodies of "the Dance," In
"Chorus Girl — Vintage of 1920" all
the characteristic grins, grimaces, leg
art, and other movements too numerous to mention were recalled to the
stage for the benefit of the spectators.
i "Salesman (with apologies to the Fuller Brush Man)" saw the artist in a
, smart black and white checked attire
as she gesticulated her way through
a demonstration of the wares and a
tale of the woes of the purveyor of
practical pot-polishers.
Selections included in the group,
"Something Classic," i n c l u d e d a
"Scarf Dance" to Beethoven 's "Minuet in G" and "Garland Dance" to
Schubert's "Moment Musical." Accessories for these numbers were those
described in the titles, the garland in
the latter serving, before the conclusion of the dance, as a skipping rope.
In "Portrait of a Hostess," another
composition by the accompanist, the
ballerina portrayed a lady making
preparations for receiving visitors,
greeting the guests, making introductions and furthering conversations
among them, and then sinking into a
chair in an exhausted manner following the departure of the last of the
entertained. The accompaniment provided an interesting background as
the two artists worked together in
such movements as the opening of
doors and gestures of laughter rippling through the room. "Bacchanale
(As seen at the Opera)" with music
by Saint-Saens portrayed the drunken
orgy of the Greek god of wine.
Opening the second part of the program, "Romance " was of an entirely
different nature as it described the
ecstasies of a young maiden in love.
Returning quickly to the humorous
vein, a Harvey Brown arrangement of
"Maisle at the 'Moovies' (With Gloria
—the Girl Friend)" had many in the
audience nodding in recognition of the
distracting antics and displays of
emotion as presented by Miss Kitchell. In a clever costume representing a kitten , the artist frolicked about
the stage in pursuit of a large ball of
yarn to a number titled "Me-ow, "
As an innovation , this interpreter
of the terpsichorean art wandered
about the stage, unaccompanied, spurred on to "seek, search, and never
find!" in "Soul in Search ," a parody
' of Martha Graham's profound and
: intricate dance, "Dark Meadow." Mlxi Ing backstage comedy with ballet , the
] performance was brought to a close
i with Ponchlelli's "Ze Ballet,"
Responding to the continuous applause,
Miss Kitchell presented two
1
( encores. The first was an amusing
1 parody of a first performance by the
£ artist at the age of eight, The second
\ was of a psychological nature, called
1 "Obsession. "

P rom inent At hl etes
Address Football Team
At Banquet Celebrati on
The College entertained its undefeated 1948 football team at a dinner
held a t the Ref orm ed Chur ch on
Thursday evening, January 27, with
two prominent sports officials of the
East, D. E. "Shor t y " Miller, Harrisburg, and Harry Dayh off , Steel ton , as
speakers. .
Special gifts fro mthe colleges were
presented to the team members, managers, and coaches by Presiden t Harvey A. Andruss.
Coach Bob Redman presented lett ers , sweat ers , and gold footballs.
Trustees , members of the college athletic committee, and representatives
of the Alumni Associations were
present.
The speakers related entertaining
incidents from their experiences. Miller, former All-American back at
Penn State is now an official in the
National Football League. Dayhoff , a
former Bucknell athlete, is now a
collegiate official.

Penns ylvania Schools
Still Need Teacher s
In Most Fields
An ar t i cle recently published

in

"The Albrightian," student newspaper
at Albright College, states that the
shortage of teachers in the elementary field had grown to 1,626 on August 10, 1948. This shortage extends
to the secondary field in all subj ects
other than English, social studies, and
foreign languages. These were the
findings of a recent survey made by
all county and district superintendents in Pennsylvania. A complete list
of subj ects, vacancies, and teachers
available follows:
Vacancies Available
Mathematics
90
37
Science
90
41
Social Studies
61
112
Geography
15
7
English
76
165
Foreign Languages 57
117
Art
95
20
Music
121
23
,
Phys.
Ed
180
49
Health &
Business Education 68
32
Industrial Arts
108
13
Home Economics 167
28
Vocational Trade
49
3
Agriculture
155
9
Library Science
67
4
Mentally Retarded 68
3
16
7
Dental Hygiene
School Nurse
167
49
Others
62
13

Square Dan ce Enjo yed
By College Community
Only the hayseeds and overalls were
lacking on Friday evening, January
21, in the Waller Hall lounge. Ritter 's
Orchestra, with Kresge as the caller ,
provided the stimulus for an evening
of fun and frolic for a large number
of students as they cast aside all
thoughts of the advent of the second
semester of the school year, 1948-49.
Leading the activities throughout
the evening was j ovial John Hoch;
Dean of Men , as he rounded up the
"squares" Into sets of four couples for
the square dances and called occasionally during the round dances for a
get-around-and-get-ncqualnted type of
student circulation. Rumor has It that
oven Joe Curilla enjoyed himself to
such an extent that he has promised
anothor affair of similar nature for
the evening of February 4,
Tho artist , herself , was responsible
for both the choreography and costumes,

Enrollment Now at
Eight Hundred for
Second Semester

"Atomic.Energy" Keynote of
January Commencement Rites
For Thirty-three Seniors

Classes for the second semester began last.Friday morning, January 21,
with the enrollment standing at 800.
Six hundred students enrolled during the advance registration period
two weeks ago, an additional 200 enrolled Thursday, January 20, and, it is
expected that the total will reach the
835 mark established for the firs t
semester.
Of the registrants, 390 are living in
rooms on the campu s, h alf of th a t
number being men. There are more
men living on the campus at the present time than in any other previous
year, with additional quarters having
been made available on the third floor
of Waller Hall.
Of the 420 day students registered,
some are boarding in the town, and
others commute from their homes.
Forty-one new students enrolled for
the first time this semester, and the
number is not expected to exceed
fifty.
Authorities have announced that
there is ample housing facilities for
all students, and that no additional
rooms in the community will be required for this term.

P resi d ent Announc es
Appointment of New
Assistant Librarian

M ore R ooms Available
For Male Dorm Students

Miss Ranso n Attends
National Mathematics
Conference in Ohio
Faculty member, Miss Ethel A.

Ranson r ecently atte n ded t h e Nat ion-

President Harvey A. Andruss announced the appointment of Miss
Mathilda A. Musyskens, of Red Bank ,
N.J., as assistant college librarian, on
Thursday, January 13. Miss Musyskens had previously been serving as
librarian of the Scott Senior High
School at Coatesville.
The new assistant received her
Bachelor of Arts degree from Iowa
State University. She also holds a
Bachelor of Science degree from the
Columbia University School of* Library Science.
Miss Musyskens has thirteen years
of experience in public school library
work, having served in various capacities in school systems throughout
the country, including high schools at
Storm Lake, Iowa; Oyster Bay, N.Y.;
and McGehee, Arkansas. She has also
had twelve years of experience in
public and institutional libraries in
Ohio and the Coatesyille Vetgrans'
Hospital Library.
The new librarian fills the vacancy
created by the resignation of Miss
Dorothy Gilmore. Mrs. Robert B.
Redman served as assistant to Librarian Katherine Zealberg during the
first semester.

al Council of Mathematics Teachers "Sizzl e" Wheeler
at Ohio St ate Univer sity, where thir- To Be Featured At
ty- two stat es, and Canada were represented. Illinois had the largest repre- Sales Conf ab Her e
sentation with a group of thirty-four
The annual Retail Sales Conferdelegates; Pennsylvania came second ence which will be held on Thurswith eighteen representatives.
d ay, March 10, at the College, will
The conference, besides presenting feature Elmer "Sizzle" Wheeler,
outstanding lecturers, provided an op- one of the country's most fascinaportunity for the teachers to meet ting business men and lecturers.
people engaged in similar occupations All America knows the fast-talking,
in all parts of the United States. The record - breaking "Kin g of Salescontacts with other instructors and men " who is president of the Testthe exchange of ideas, plus learning ed Selling Institute of New York,
new methods of solving mathematical the world's first and only "Word
problems, provided the substance is- Laboratory " where sales words are
sues of the convention.
tested to make people respond
The lecture sessions, held from 10 faster.
One of his books, "Tested Senta.m. until 4 p.m. each day, were flanked by the latest films in elementary ences That Sell," has outsold all
and secondary work, as well as some his others , and was chosen for the
on the college level. These films in- Time-Capsule of Oglethorpe Unicluded such topics as measurements, versity for posterity to read. Some
installment buying, and the addition of his other books are "Sizzlemanof fractions. The general trend of the ship, " 'Tested Direct Selling," and
lectures was toward teaching students "Tested Public Speaking."
He established world records last
to think for themselves. In view of
thi s, Miss Ranson stated , "Mathe- year by speaking to over one milmatics is a method of thinking. A lion people, with twenty thousand
machine can calculate , but it is un- at one time in the Cotton Bowl.
able to think. The calculating we do Some of his clients represent Amerin a mathematics course is the tool ican Airlines, Western Union , Walused to express our thinking. There- grens, Ralston Purina Co., Bering
fore , we should teach scientifically Cigars, Hotel Statler, Sear's, Penand experimentally, rather than e me- ney's, and Macy's.
chanically."
Mathematics exhibits, mostly of a credit for the excellent work done in
secondary nature, were displayed at connection with the convention. Everythe convention. These exhibits were one insisted that he only guided the
from all parts of the nation. The work, and that his helpers should remodels for the displays were made of ceive all the commendation. This type
plastic materials and were very clev- of behavior In a world such as ours
erly created ; even the Christmas tree of the present day is almost unbelievwas decorated with solid geometry able, but never-the-less Inspiring. And
figures. On each surface, a design was adding to this, when one realizes that
cut out and colored paper placed be * there are 25,000 students at Ohio
hind the face. All of the decorations State, over half of which live on the
were made by high school students campus, one cannot help but be amazunder the direction of student teach- ed at the brotherly attitude so obvious in the unselfish action stated
ers of the Ohio University.
Miss Ranson commented that there above. On the more personal side,
wore two things which impressed her Miss Ranson expressed a note of sinIn particular during her stay at the cere appreciation to the girls in the
university. The first was the fact campus residences who thoughtfully
that the city, as well as the students made room for their visitors by clearand faculty, went all out to welcome Ing space for clothing, and helping to
the representatives. Another thing make the guests as comfortable as
wa s th at no one would acce p t th e possible in a not-too-roomy situation.

Dr. D. H. Andrews
Outlines Theor y of
Atom; Describes Use

Commencement exercises for a class
of thirty-three seniors were held in
the Carver Hall Auditorium during
the regular assembly period, Thursday, January 13, 1949. The processional, 'Triumphal March ," from
Tschaikowsky's Symphony No. 3, was
played by Mr. H. F. Fenstemaker at
the console as the administrative representatives, faculty, and members of
the graduating class entered the auditorium. Dean Emeritus William B.
Sutliff offered the invocation.
The speaker of the morning, Dr.
Donald Hatch Andrews, was introduced by President Harvey A. Andruss.
An authority on modern atomic research , Dr. Andrews is chairman of
the Chemistry Department, John s
Hopkins University, a past director of
the Chemistry Department there, and
director of the Cryogenry Laboratory.
He is now working with a group aided
by a grant from the Atomic Scientists' Emergency Fund, of which Professor Albert Einstein is Chairman.
The topic of his lecture was "Atomic
Energy and the Faith of a Scientist."
Dr. Andrews began his talk by describing the tremendous increase in
the amount of power which has been
made available in the world during
the past few centuries. During this
development , and especially in more
recent times , a control of this power
by a balance - of - power plan among
nations has been tried. However, to
this attempted control of power must
be added moral and spiritual controls.
In an excellent description of the
structure of the atom , the physicist
outlined several points of the atomic
theory. Tracing the mass of the atom
to the tiny nucleus of protons at the
center, it was stated that the entire
mass of the human race could be
reduced to fit into a small pocketsized bottle. If, however, the energy
contained in the atoms of one human
body could be released , providing explosive force, this energy would be
equal to that released by 20,000 tons
of T.N.T. This power was also described as being sufficient to operate
all electric plants in the United States
for a period of ten months.
When the time arrives that this
energy can be released by breaking
into the atomic structures of the elements, there should be such an unlimited supply of power that the government can supply free power to all
homes. This energy, in the form of
fuel, could be carried in such compact
form that enough fuel could be carried in a briefcase to operate a city
in the Arctic for one year. A development of this nature would remove the
limits of size and payload for air
transportation, for enough fuel for
the longest trip of the largest airship
could be contained in a capsule no
larger than the size of a fountain pen.
In like manner, with understanding
of this new source of power will come
accomplishment in all fields of scionr>f> .

Further describing the atom, the
scientist told of one of the newer
concepts of atomic theory, that of
dynamic vibration. These vibrations,
In the form of concentric waves emanating from the center of the structure, give the atom its power. Superimposing upon one another, these
waves create in combination what is
not present in each In an individual
state. This is an illustration of the
old axiom that the whole is greater
than the sum of its parts.
Referring to the structure of thei
(Continued on page 2)

Jfflaroon anb #olfo

The Aff liction
by Robert A. Baylor

Published Weekly by
The Students of Bloomsburg State Teachers College
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF — Robert 0. Cnnouso
ASSOCIATE EDITORS — ¦William A. Stlmelln B and "Wayne Von Stctten
OFFICE: Noetlln g Hall BOX 284
NEWS EDITOR
Barbara Johnson

FEATURE EDITOR
Donal d Butcofsky

SPORTS EDITOR
Curtis L. Miller

NEWS STAFF

M^Jw^n1
sasL'Mg
Kathryn Graham

FEATURE STAFF

SPORTS STAFF

^ i x,

*n
Mnry Jane Dorsey
Wnx Kaplan

I obcruc"hb f, 1K l,
John Trimble

$™c. Trembler
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COPY READERS

a™ »

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&
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nobort Baylor

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ffiS5flSSS W

Richard Wagner

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011
sssfdii
Harry Cal.ey

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RUa D1X °"

Jnne Kenvln

SOCIETY
SOCIETT
Kay Chnpln , Ed.
Audrey Teixel

POETRY EDITOR
BDTTOn
Jountor Eddlnger

PHOTOGRAPHY
Walter Bird , Ed.
James Kllnednlst

ART
Nancy Swartz , EM.
William Kuster
Mary Rose Rlpepl

TYPIST
nichnrd Harner
HUMOR
Rober t Hlne y, Ed.
Nancy Powell

"A creeping malignancy
Multiplying endlessly
In
the native cells;
BUSINESS MQH.
Corroding
. . draining *. . decaying . .
snrn Graham
Killing!"
anvFUTi qivn
The doctors call it Carcinoma;
S^SJX
£ ™ss. *«». You and I whisper it
^r CnZC" Cancer . . . and shake our heads
ffi.vJ riw
At its loathsome connotation.
" ' S^JL.
C
C
mttI1
Our nation—U.S.A.—is afflicted.
" raf5.ari
M.!r
Kdwiml Sheehy
The land of the free , the home of
Milk and honey with
CIR CULATION
Liberty and justice for
n °n> Chcbr0 - M «r.
The
smug white man has a pat tag
Cnrloton Hrmish
Mnrvln Mcnceley
for it;
Itarbara Thompson
He calls it the Negro problem.
I don 't know wha t the black man
EXCHANGE EDS.
Nancy Crumb
calls it.
Ann Papanla

civ
it
^=^
by D mn't
1111
11
I
i\
/
l
l
I
I
II
I 11 1 UH1 11 The scholars and writers who trace
the ups and downs of our language
are arriving at the conclusion that
profanity is rapidly becoming a lost
art. In fact, a recent book, "The Lost
Art of Profani ty ," by Burges Johnson,
derives its title from that very suggestion. Johnson, h owever, does li tt le
more than repeat what others have
said before him. Both Henry Mencken and Sinclair Lewis have long ago
delved deep into the matter and come
up with illuminating discussions. Other scholars of the English language
have also written long and exhaustive
treatises on the subj ect of the paling
and passing of profanity. But all the
tens of thousands of words written
can be boiled down to simply this:
What once glowed scarlet now blushes a modest pink.
Profanologists are unanimous in
their opinion that man swore before
he talked, and this stand on the matter is by no means untenable. Picture
the situation presented when one of
our inarticulate ancestors strode into
his dimly-lighted cave and stubbed
his bare toes on a rock his wife had
carelessly left lying on the floor. It
requires no great play of imagination
to fancy the gibbering vituperation
which followed. Anyone who has ever
entered a dark bedroom in which the
furniture had been rearranged, later
to perform a one-legged dance while
clasping a bruised shin in both hands ,
probably gurgled with the same incoherent vehemence, restrained only
by the fact that a more eloquent outburst would shock other members of
the family from their pious slumber.
In general tenor and effect , this heated mumbling differs little from that
employed by our prehistoric ancestors.
Plain understandable swearing has
its roots sunk deep in man 's early religion and superstition. The commonplace words of everyday speech lack
the color and punch demanded of
effective profanity, especially if it is
to be a source of inner-satisfaction to
the user. Thus words which were especially sacred or to be dreaded on
the basis of superstition lent themselves magnificently for use on such
occasions when the pallid connotations of ordinary words were vain to
express the proper degree of wrath or
indignation.
Returning to the thesis stated prevfously, profanity, under a variety of
prohibitions and inhibitions , has gradually undergone a change which
threatens to depri ve it of its last desperate drop of virility. To paraphrase
Mark Twain, not only is the tune
gone but the words as well. The days
when profanity was rolled forth from
the lips of masters with all the maj esty of an inspiring anthem are dead
and rapidly passing beyond recall.
Today such quaint and illogical expressions as "doggone it ," "to heck
with it," "for Cripes' sake," "oh,
fudge," "nu t s," and a host of others

It h as m any nam es,
But only one d efini t ion :

equally ludicrous have become common parlance. Certainly it cannot be
denied that they are less offensive
than their blistering antecedents, but
equally as certain is the fact that
they are none the less grammatically
illegitimate. Granting that you are
not given to the use of profanity, try
going through one day of your life
without resorting to the use of one
of these insipid substitutes for the
real McCoy. Even the most staid and
sedade will give at least occasional
utterance to an annoyed "oh , fiddle. "
That the use of profanity is obj ectionable goes without argument. It is
at its best socially, morally, and
grammatically improper. It s use by
persons of a "God's Little Acr e" social
and moral background is excusable,
for they know no better. But for
those who lay claim to culture and
ed uca tion th ere i s no ex cu se, and this
includes the "oh , fudgers" as well ,
and perhaps the indictment against
them is even more pitiless;, for they
are the would-be "mule-skirmers" who
lack the courage to say what they
think.
And what does all this prove ? you
may ask. The answer to that is that
it probably proves nothing. When the
j ack slips from under your car, you
have the constitutional right to make
whatever observations you deem appropriate at the time. Or if a window
slams down on your fingers and evokes
from you nothing more than an enthusiastic "holy cow," it shall be
counted no more or no less than a
matter of individual preference.

Noted N.Y.U. Educator
"
Pl an f or
Outlines New
Str eamlining Education
In a recent educational article,
Alice V. Keliher, Professor of Education at New York University, enumerated a four point program for development of personality and democratic
ideas in high school students.
The first point asserts that the high
school pupil should be given experiences in self-government. From these
experiences he will find himself more
able to participate in governmental
affairs in adult life. Self-government
should not be limited to high school
activities but ought to be included in
religious, social, and other organizatlons in which the student takes part.
The second point calls for the revision of teaching methods which delay
or check development of mature and
responsible personalities. It is directed against the teacher who makes
herself dominant over a group of
wieldy, submissivo pupils. Later, such
pupils find it difficult to cope with
situations that require mature thinking.
The third point recommends that
democracy be thoroughly studied and
discussed in high schools. Today 's

>

"Atomic Energy "
Is Keynote
(Continued from page 1)
human body, Dr. Andrews pointed out
that an integral entity within the
body carries on the individual personality although the actual atomic pattern changes through the process of
metabolism. Besides this yet - unexplained action is the invisible force
which, through the laws of gravitation , ties the individual human being
to the entire universe. Stressing the
need for trying to understand these
intangible principles, and calling fo r
a better attempt of man to understand his fellow men, the lect u re was
brought to a close as the speaker
informed the members of the audience
that they are living in a world in
which they must face reality. In the
face of this, by developing these understandings, "Ye shall kn ow t h e
truth , and the truth shall make ye
free."
Mr . Ralph Wire, accompanied at
the piano by Miss Delphine Buss,
added to the program as he sang "Th e
Lord's Prayer," in a vocal setting by
Malotte.
Members of the graduating class
were presented by Dr. Thomas P.
North to President Harvey A. Andruss
for the ceremony • of conferring of
degrees.
Closing the program, the entire assembly joi ned in the singing of the
"Alm a M a ter ," led by Miss Harriet
M. Moore, after which the graduates
left the auditorium to the strains of
the recessional , "Pon t ifi ca le Ma rch ,"
by Lemmens. Mr. H. F. Fenstemaker
was at the console for these closing
selections.
Candidates for the baccalaureate
degree at these exercises were : Joseph A. Adamonis, Edwin M. Allegar,
William Benson , Mario L. Berlanda ,
Robert J. Blew, Leo S. Carter, Verna
G. Cope, Alfred G. Davis, William R.
Deebel, Nancy M. Fisk, Ray C. Fry,
Francis A. Hantz , Theodore I. Harwood, Richard C. Hess, Irma C. Kapp,
Ernest Kastelic, Matthew J. Maley,
James E. Marion , Barbara R. McNinch , Robert T. Millard , William
Moonoy, Charles K. Moore , Josephine
E. Padula, Peter Parnell, Lawrence
V. Pekala , George Remetz, Stanley
Semic, Paul Slipetz , Jr., Nancy M.
Snyder , Leo J. Speicher , Merrill W.
Troutman , Carson L. Whitesell, and
Elizabeth A. Wright.
Nice girls don't run after men , but
some have been known to get up a
fairly brisk trot,
—Collofjlo
high school students should not be
forbidden to criticize our democratic
society for tomorrow they will reign
as leaders of that society. In addition
to democracies, other governments
ought to be examined and compared.
Fourth , and lastly, the New York
educator believes that the high school
student should be given opportunities
to serve others. The adolescent is not
an irresponsible individual. When he
is given the opportunity, he is willing
and capable of helping others. And
when he helps others, ho is uncon ,sciously helping himself.

Education Looks to the Future:

Greater Oppor tunit ies Predicted for
Prospective Teachers in Rura l Education
Greater opportunities for teachers
and prospective teachers in the field
of rural education are predicted in the
years ahead as the result of a twoyear study recently completed by (he
Nati onal Commission on School Reorganization.
Findings and conclusion of the study
have been released in a 286-page report , entitled "Your School District ,"
in which the commission urges reorgani zation of school districts throughout the nation and sets up a program
of action for achieving improved disr
tricts.
The one-room school house, operated by thousands of districts today at
a high per-pupil cost, will gradually
disappear when t h e commission's
plaps for reorganization are put into
effect. In their place, educators predict, will be some of the finest schools
in the nation.
Consolidation of school districts
will be guided by certain standards
set up by the commission. Administrative units are satisfactory, according to the commission's recommendations, when they are large enough to
provide schools in which: (1) the enrollment in the kindergarten and
grades one to six is not fewer than
175 pupils with at least seven fulltime teachers, a more desirable minimum being 300 or more pupils with
12 or more teachers ; (2) the enrollment in j unior and senior high school
grades is not fewer than 300 pupils,
with a minimum
of 12 full-time teachm

ers; (3) elementary pupils are required to travel not more than 45 minutes
and high school pupils not more than
one hour each way between home and
school ; and (4) each elementary
school serves a neighborhood or small
community center and each high
school serves a larger comm unity,
with every community having a
school.
Through consolidation , local school
administrative units will be able to
provide: the services of educational
and business administration ; supervision of attend ance, instr uction and
transportation ; school library service,
and community library service if the
community has no public library ;
adult education leadership; physical
and health examinations of children ;
specialists for the identification of atypical children ; the services of school
psychologists and nurse-tea chers ; and
a research staff.
Sponsored by the Rural Education
Project of the University of Chicago
and the Department of Rural Education of the National Education Association , the long-range goal sought by
the National Commission is the development of an educational program
that will stimulate and guide each
individual in developing his abilities
to their fullest extent for useful satisfying living. This can be accomplished , the commission believes, only
when schools are well enough equipped and well enough staffed to offer
a rounded educational program to
every boy and girl in the nation.
»

Attent ion, Frosh!
4

You are now college students. You
must be prepared to accept all the
responsibilities and duties that go
with this dilemma. You are about to
get "th e word"—"the late word , that
is—as to what will be expected of you.
This "wor d" comes from a usually reliable source high up in t he hi erar chy
which cannot be quoted at this time.
All college students must be blase.
In American this means bored. A person of real college rank is always
bored. If the dorm burns down , he i s
bored. If someone cracks a j oke, he
is more bored than ever. (This rule
is somewhat modified when the j oke
teller is one of your profs. In this
case you immediately fall howling to
the floor where you writhe for five
minutes in pure ecstasy.) To get back
to being bored; however. You must
cultivate a certain distinct look of
boredom. This involves sotting the
facial features a particular way when
you arise in the morning and holding
them rigid for the rest of the day. If
a glassy-eyed stare of wondering stupidity can be accomplished , it's all the
better. Freshmen should practice the
bored look best suited for their personality before a mirror. Girls particularly should practice diligently before a mirror in anticipation of the
long, boring hours when they will bo
surrounded by bored men in the old
gym. Since the old gym is for smoking, it is advisable that the girls become proficient in the art of holding
a cigarette. Needless to say, girls, a
cigarette is made to be held. A real
college girl would never bo caught
puffing on her cigarette. She simply
holds it. If you are still in doubt as
to j ust what this bored look is , I can
recommend a few concrete examples.
See any movie starring Alexis Smith ,
Dorothy Lamour, or Jane Russell.
Study their facial expressions. You
will find that they arrive in the first
reel with one set expression which
never alters through all the trials and
tribulations of tho next eleven reels.
Study these examples carefully, practice, work hard , and you , too, can be
bored.
As Freshmen, you must become acquainted with your campus. Roam

about at will the first few days, no t ing carefully the most important places — the old gym, the cigarette machines, the card tables , suitable,
secluded spots for extra - curriculars,
available corners for the manipulation
of the galloping dominoes , etc. The
college library should be identified
also. It is an excellent place for a
connivial get-together and general bull
session. It is rumored that there are
books in the library which pertain to
education and learning. These were
evidently placed there for the use of
the professors, howev er , and sho u ld
not concern the student.
What do you need in the way of
equipment when you go to class ?
There is only one essential — a large
notebook cover — the bigger the better. During a lecture this cover will
serve as effective camouflage for your
comic book or game of tic-tac-toe.
Pencils should never be carried by
those who do not play tic-tac-toe.
Finally, Frosh, you must be qualified to form definite ' opinions of the
merit or demerit of your various
profs. This is important in order that
you can give other students the
"word" on them. You can rate your
profs appropriately from the grade
you receive from them. After all, you
are a potential genius. Look at the
write-up you got in your hometown
paper when you loft for college !Thus,
if a prof gives you an "A" , he's obviously a discerning, intelligent toachor , an excellent j udge of human nature, and a prince among mon. If ho
gives you a "B," he's a good Joe . . .
bu t . . . I a "C" moans ho knows his
stuff but is a poor j udge of (your)
character. Everything you lonrnod
you got for yourself, If he hands you
a "D", he's a lousy teacher , susceptible to apple polishers and lacks the
ability to recognize merit. If ho gives
you an "E" you nevor speak his name.
When someone asks you about him ,
you merely give them a sea-sickish
grimace and shrug your shoulders.
Follow these instructions, Frosh,
and before long you will bo pointed to
proudly as one who is college rank.
You'll really be rank, too.

[Huskies Hope To Break Losing Streak oil Shippers Tonight

(SIDELINES

Colonels Gain Revenge by Clipping
Husky Cagers with 51-46 Score

The Husky Pups

"" " —

(Substituting f or C. MillerJ

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BPPBBBBBHBBBHBBB ^M^BBIIW ^^^^^^ W"^^^^^^^^"^^^^ ™111 "™"^"^^^ 1™™^^™^^"™^^™^^^^^^^^^™^^^^^^™^^™

1

^^^^^^™^^^^^^™

Husky Cagers Bow to Bald Eagles
Despite Last Period Scoring Spree

Bentley School Fall s
Bef ore Jayvee Attack

Lock Haven

Mtllor
MeDormott
N lmmo
Rlnmoy
"He was kicked out of school for Snnlth
ShnolTor
cheating. "
Mitro
"How come?"

"Ho was caught counting his ribs In
. Comparative Anatomy exam?"

M

In the preliminary game with the
Wilkes College Jayvees, January 26,
the Huskies came out on the short
end of a 40 to 35 score in a game
decided at the foul stripe.
The Jayvees outscored Wilkes by
one field goal, but slipped by sinking
only seven foul shots to the Junior
Colonels' fourteen.
Al DeGatis was again the leading
point-j naker with the high for both
teams, fifteen points.
Bloomsburg
Pos. FG F Pts
Byhan
F. 1 2-2 4
Butler
F. 1 2-3 4
DeGatis
F. 6 3-6 14
C. 2 0-0 4
Left to right, first row : Jim Kleman , Don Dais, Charley Getchey, Tom Ledyard
Kleman
G.
3 0-2 6
Sh u kis, Frank Furgele. Second row: AI DeGatis, Jim Heller, Bob Lang, Stan
Schukis
G. 0 0-0 0
LeVan , Dick Ledyard, Dale Bennett.
Heller
G. 0 0-0 0
Furgele
G. 1 0-0 2

i The Bloomsburg Story was reenI acted once again Saturday evening
I before a packed house in Centennial
Gym. That -bid j inx was prevalent
once again — inconsistency. The failure of several of the Huskies experiencing a hot night ( the same night)
has been extremely costly to the
Bloomsburg attack . Let's take a moment to point out what we mean. In
the firs t five games prior to Saturday 's encounter with Lock Haven ,
Smokey Andrews had practically carried the Huskie's offense on his
shoulders , averaging better than fifteen markers per contest. In the
meantime, the shooting of Elm Kreiser and Charley Boyer was far under
par. Saturday night, against the Bald
Eagles, Smokey Andrews contributed
two puny points while Big Elm and
Charley swished the cords to the tune
Long Set-shots Prove
of twelve each. You can see what an
Deadly to Wishermen
average night for Andrews would
have meant.. We're not, however,
B.S.T.C. was simply no match for
The Husky Pups cut another notch
discrediting Smokey's playing ability. the Lock Haven Bald Eagles last SatHe has done a magnificent job to urday night on the Centennial Gym on their victory belt on Saturday,
January 22, when they literally swept
date, and we are sincere when we say
Smokey 's Saturday performancewon't court , when they were defeated , 47- the Bentley School of New York off
the floor with a 70-25 score. It was
be repeated this season. All we can 39.
The visitors attack was built around their fourth successful game in five,
hope for is the continued good play
of Boyer, Kreiser, and some help from the smooth ball handling of little and was played as the opener for the
Big Ed Jones, who is definitely having George Mitro and two deadly set-shot varsity B.S.T.C. - Lock Haven encouni trouble finding the range this year. It artists, Elwood Shaeffer and Bob Mc- ter.
Of the eleven men on the Jayvee
| will be a sad evening indeed for our Dermott.
roster, ten of them cashed in their
! opponents if all these boys find the Bald Eagles Start Early
range during the same game.
The Bald Eagles were behind only shots and came up in the scoring
The Bald Eagles from Lock Haven once in the contest and that was early column ahead of the books. Al Deput on an exhibition, in set-shooting in the first quarter when Elmer Kreis- Gatis was high man for the Junior
that was a pleasure to watch. The er sank a field goal after the visitors Huskies with 14 points, while Dick
Ledyard ran a close second with 12.
Huskie 's zone defense proved to be had converted a foul.
The
overall high scorer was Cohen,
effective in that Lock Haven experi Kreiser's shooting and George Lamenced difficulty working the ball in, brinos' rebounding kept the Huskies the pace setter for the Bentley School.
The game itself was lop-sided from
but this trouble was quickly remedied in the game the first half , despite a
beginning
to end. The only time the
when George Mitro and company definitely off - ni ght for the Husky
Bentley
Boys
were actually in the ball
commenced popping them from far quintet. But the issue was never in
game
was
when
Cohen dumped in
out. We wonder if it might not have doubt , once the second half started ,
been better to put a bit of pressure when the Bald Eagles continued to four quick field goals. This seemingly
on Lock Haven's set shot artists— pull away in the third quarter, out- |dangerous threat however, was nothing more than a flash in the pan for
second guessing, of course.
scoring the Wishermen 13 to 9.
the Pups, who played almost unThe splendid crowd that witnessed Boyer Shows Flashes of Brilliance
hampered to the end of the game.
the fray Saturday evening was testiCharlie Boyer exhibited a flashPos. FG F Pts
mony enough that our boys still have back of his past performances with Bloomsburg
in
spite
of
a
few
a fine following
F. 4 1-1 9
the Huskies with some brilliant shoot- Furgele
reverses. Let's continue to back our ing in the final stages of the game.
Schukis
F. 3 0-0 6
team all the way . It's a fine team,
DeGatis
F. 5 4 5 14
Mitro Proves Outstanding;
composed of a swell bunch of fellows.
Levan
F. 4 1-2 9
Despite the Huskies' wild scoring Ledyard
Let's show them we are loyal fans—
C. 5 2-4 12
the kind who will stick no matter spree in the last period , the suspense Heller
C. 4 0 0 8
what kind of luck the team is experi- was ended when the calm and collect- Lang
G. 1 0-2 2
encing. They'll find themselves soon ed George Mitro held his mates to- Kleman
G. 1 2-2 4
and play the brand of ball we all gether with his clever ball handling Butler
G. 1 0-0 2
and completely checked the Maroon
know they are capable of playing.
Womer
G. 0 0-1 0
and
Gold
attack.
From this corner Lock Haven apByham
G. 2 0-0 4
Boyer and Kreiser led the Husky
pears the team to beat In the Teachers Conference this year. They seem scoring with 12 points each, while Mc30 10-17 70
to have everything: In their favor— Dermott and Shaeffer paced the Bald
above all they have {food big- men Eagles.
Bentley School
Pos, FG F Pts
who know their way around the hard- Bloomsburg
Pos. FG F Pts
Abelson
F. 0 0-0 0
woods. And, of course, George Mitro
Andrews
F. 1 0-0 2 Goldberg
F. 0 2-2 2
continues to show the same type of
Slobozien
F.
2
1-3
5
Myers
F.
0 0-0 0
smooth, calm play that he has demFJschler
F
F. 5 2-4 12
. 0 0-0 0
onstrated on so many occasions Boyer
C. 7 1-8 '15
uffiiinst our Huskies. We well remem- Jones
C. 1 0-2 2 Cohen
G. 1 2-3 4
ber last year when the Huskies trav- Brown
C. 2 0-0 4 Wechslor
Newman
G. 1 1-2 3.
eled to Lock Haven and had the Bald
Lnmbrinos
G. 1 0-2 2 Latz
G. 0 1-2 1
Kagles all but beaten when Mitro
G. 6 0-0 12 Sncks
G. 0 0-0 0
commenced to swish the cords with a Kreiser
G. 0 0-1 0
fury of sot shots in the closing to Bnnull
9 _7-17 25
bring victory to the homo team. Evans
G. 0 0-1 0
Bloomsburg should rejoic e when Mitro rocoivos Ills sheepskin. Ho has
' HUSKY SHOOTING STATISTICS:
18
3-13
39
boon a thorn In our sido long enough !
Shots Shots

He stopped at a small hot dog stand
and ordered coffee. Just to bo polite ,
ho said , "Looks like rnln , doesn't it?"
"Well," snapped the proprietor, "it
tastes like coffee , doesn't it?"

""

Husky Jayvees Lose to
Junior Colonels, 40*35

IN SPORTS . . .

by Glenn Von Stetten

¦""

Attempt. Made Percent.
Pus. FG F Pts
Andrews
12
1
.083
F. 2 3-5 7 Slobozien
9
2
.222
F. 3 5-8 11 Kroisor
13
6
.461
Boyer
1
0
5
.500
F. 0 1-1 1
Jones
6
1
.167
C. 3 1-2 7
Bnnull
1
0
.000
C. 1 0-0 2 Lnmbrinos . . . 3
1
.333
G. 6 0-2 12 Evnns .,
5
0
.000
G. 3 1-3 7 Brown
6
2
.333
18 11-21 47

Totals

65

18 (Av).2Tn

14
Wilkes
Skordinski
Bonteil
Shee
Molash
Caspar
Pinkowski
Kovalchick
Moltts

Pos. FG
F. 3
F. 4
F. 1
F. * 1
C. 1
G. 0
G. 0
G. 3

7-13 35

Boyer High with 21 Points;
Fourth Husky Loss in Row
The Husky Cagers' losing streak remained intact after a 51-46 loss, their
fourth in a row, to Wilkes College on
January 26.
Still unable to hit the basket, the
College lost this one at the foul line,
dropping in only 10 to the Wilkes
team's 17. Bloomsburg outscored their
opponents from the floor , however,
with .18 field goals to the Colonel's 17.
High scorer for the Colonel's, easily
beaten by B.S.T.C. earlier in the season, was Phil Sekerchak, who flipped
in 20 points, eight of them fouls.
Charley Boyer led both teams in scoring by plunking in 21 points, including
nine field goals.
Bloomsburg
Boyer
Andrews
Kashner
Bartleson
Kreiser
Banull
Lambrinos
Evans
Brown
Jones

F Pts
0-1 6
2-5 10
0-1 2
0-0 0
3-8 5
2-2 2 Wilkes
3-3 3 Sekerchak
4-4 10 Piorkewski
Smartwood
13 14-23 40 Dragon
Jackson
Zlonkovicz
Huff
Witek

Pos. FG F Pts
F. 9 3-3 21
F. 2 1-3 5
F. 2 0-0 4
F. 1 0-0 2
• C. 0 1-3 1
G. 2 3-3 7
G. 0 1-1 1
G. 0 0-0 0
G. 1 1-3 3
G. 1 0-1 2
18 10-17 46
Pos. FG F Pts
F. 5 10-12 20
F. 5 2-2 12
F. 0 0-0 0
F. 4 0-3 8
C. 2 2-4 6
C. 0 0-0 0
G. 1 0-1 2
G. 0 3-3 4
17 17-25 51

LAFFTIME
In a very "fauncy" night club sat
an epicure. He ate the menu from
soup to nuts. Smacked his lips with
every sip of wine. Then ordered some
fifty-cent cigars. When the waiter
lighted one for him, he puffed leisurely and, with a smile on his face, he
said, "Waiter, have the manager come
here a moment." The manager came
over. The satisfied diner said, "Do you
remember me, manager ? Remember
me coming in here about a year ago ?
I ate a fine meal like this and I didn't
have any money to pay for it — and
you kicked me out into the street?"
"Yes," answered the manager nervously, "I remember that happening."
"Well," drawled the well-fed one, "I'll
have to trouble you again."
—Now Til Tell One
Ed Jones

"I caught my boyfriend flirting."
"I caught mine that way too."

i

Ord ers For The

1949 OBITER
Are Now Being Taken

Place your order with:

JEAN STEWART
WILLIAM MILLER
. GLENN VON STETTEN
ZEKE ABRAHAMS

Fashion Flashes..
% by Aleki Comuntzis

.. .=

by Don Butcofsky

=;

A Short-Short Story . . .
"Lean over and close your eyes," said the kindergarten lad to his student
teacher. "I have something to tell you." Smiling, she closed her eyes and
leaned over, whereupon the innocent little Benjamin Franklinite, without
further ado, kissed her. Later, she blushingly confided her secret to a 'special
friend'. She closed her eyes to show him how it all happened. Here we might
become poetic and say that at that instant all time teetered on the brink of
eternity ; somewhere a train whistled; somewhere a streetcar stopped to
discharge its passengers ; somewhere a solitary hawk wheeled over the
solemn silence of a hemlock forest. But what, you might ask, does all this
have to do with trains, streetcars, and hawks ? And , besides, who car es
whether time stood upright or fell over ? Ah, gentle reader! Have you no
imagination ?
T

S|«

5fC

V

^

Running His Way Through College . . .
We survey with interest the account given of one Pierre Westbrook
Mather, student at Bucknell University. "Desperately in need of money . . . "
begins the incredible chronicle of Pierre 's adven tu re, and immediately w e
know that he is a college student. At any rate, Mather wagered at odds of
20 to 1 that he could make a non-stop run between the river bridges at
Lewisburg and Island Park, a distance of nine miles. Knowing that he was
not an athlete nor in condition for such a long distance ja unt, his frat brothers quickly covered his last $11.55 at the odds quoted , making the prize
exactly $231. Mather apparently knew what he was doing, for one hour and
twenty-five minutes after he started his long run he pulled up, tired but
jubilant, at the Island Park bridge. Quite a feat in any man 's land.
*

*

*

*

*

Of Ships and Shoes and Connubial Bliss . . .
This has nothing to do with the Walrus and the Carpenter, but rather
with the item which appeared in the last issue of the Maroon and Gold,
relative to schoolmarms making the best marital bets. The writer hastens
to add that nurses are also highly rated in this respect. A number of B.S.T.C.
lads have espoused nurses, and report that they are homemakers deluxe.
Looking at the other side of the ledger, doctors, ministers, and teachers, in
that order, are rated as the best husband prospects. Traveling salesmen are
generally regarded as being the least favorable matrimonial raw material.
Shakespeare, however, established a much broader category from which a
young lady might choose a husband. His advice was "If you must marry,
marry a fool."
*

*

*

*

*

Shades of Darwin . . .
Whether or not they have ever heard of the Doghouse is hard to say,
but for some reason j ust about all of Columbia County 's homeless dogs have
set up headquarters on the B.S.T.C. campus, where they have been received
as honored guests by the student body. No doubt most persons realize that
if it weren 't for a shift of circumstance a long, long time ago, we might be
the ones shivering outside in the cold while the dogs were comfortably basking themselves indoors. Perhaps one of them might then say of sne of us,
"I saw the cutest human being lying on the floor of the Dean of Hounds
office this morning." To which another would reply, with a shudder, "I don 't
care for them at all, they look too much like monkeys." Possibly some canine
columnist even might have named his column "In the Humanhouse."
'
*
*
*
*
*
"
Noted in Passing .
In the course of keeping an inquisitive paw upon the pulse of Bloomsburg, this column notes that the G.I. influence is gradually ebbing from the
campus. This shifting trend is especially noticeable among the resident students. In but a little while the dormitory corridors will cease to echo to the
old familiar calls of ship and barracks, and the late bull sessions will no
longer center themselves around far-off cities and islands. Then, too , there
will be none of the riotous raising of holy halleluj ah that always attends the
arrival of the checks. But doughnuts get you dollars that boys will be boys
nevertheless.
* * * * *
As Seen from the Doghouse Door . . .
Barks for the last squ are dance. If there is a more pleasant way of
knocking yourself out, we'd like to hear of i t . . . Also, out of all the wheeling
and reeling we have been able to extract a Canine of the Week — none less
or none other than Dean Hoch, who did a bang-up j ob of planning and emceeing the whole affair. Three barks for Dean Hoch, and a woof for his inspire d
baritone-ing! . . . The book bargains listed on the bulletin boards are interesting. Seems that few intend to keep "Place and Purpose " among their
collection of treasured volumes. Public enemj * #2 is Hegner 's "College Zoology," which, since it is full of pictures, should be of lasting value to any
college student . . . Here comes the dog catcher ! ! !

..

"Fashion ," according to Webster, is
"the prevailing convention usage in
mat t ers of dress , etc." But to us , it
means more than that. It means what
is current—what is considered smart.
The question now is: what will be
fashionable this Spring? How will
we know what to buy that will be
good for the whole season ?
One of the most prominent changes
in fashion for this year is fabric.
There are city-dwelling tweeds, the
worldly cottons, new weaves of worsteds , tone-on-tone prints , sma ll pl aids ,
and , of cou rse , Paisleys. Iridescence is
cropping up in new places, too—Shant u ng, for instance.
Quiet suitings in unaccustomed patterns and weaves are taking over this
Spring. We have dotted j erseys;
iridescent gabardines; and checked
tweeds. These gentle Tweeds are
shaping up for city wear.
This year you won't be rushing the
season with Cottons. The season is
rushing Cottons—Cottons that make
noise like taffeta . . . Cottons that
stand out resplendent as damasks . . .
Cottons that are irresistible . . . Cottons that are well-mannered in wallpaper prints, pretty calicos, and new
stripes and plaids.
The f abrics are new and the colors
are exciting. Let's start with a pale
peach, which ends with copper, and
moves on 'to brown ; or, ta ke some
bland beiges, greys, or neutrals, and
mix them up with all the shades of
green and blue that you have. These
last two colors are bein g rebprn this
year and are headed for big things.
When planning your Spring and
Summer wardrobe , keep your eye on
fabrics and color. Of course, lines are
still important (and always shall be),
but fabric and color are the things
that are making the news in fashions!

Dramatic Club Accepts
Eight New Members
With apologies to those applicants
who showed marked talent in the field
of dramatics, but were unable to be
accepted for the Dramatic Club ranks
at the present time, the Club announced that eight students have been accepted for membership. The contestants trying out were observed to possess marked ability to some degree,
but the necessary limits of the club
forced the choosing to be narrowed
down to only eight. It is the hope of
the club that those who did not get
approval this time will try again next
semester. The eight students who
were selected are requested to be
present at the next regular Dramatic
Club meeting on Tuesday night , January 25. They are : Peggy Dorsavage,
Laura Philo, Jean Ruckle, Henry
Murrey, Dorothy Cedor, Russel Looker, Thomas Anthony, and Nancy
Wesenyak.

College Hour Program

.. KITTY AND HER YARN

.

Banter ? ?
by Kay Ohapin

^£22?'

R E D M A N TO THE RESCUE:
Three meows and a short purr have
been suggested for Coach Redman
who, above and beyond the call of
"dooty ," spr ang into action when he
discovered a pup imprisoned in a deep
hole last Monday morning.
"AND THE NIGHT was filled with
m u sic" . . . Some more dignity bit
the diust last Friday night, as other
staid "future teachers of America "
rollicked through an evening of good
old-fashioned squaredancing. It's great
for the spirit, but hard on the soles!
MORE AND MORE t u r t les ar e
taking up residence on the second
floor. Joyce Sluyter's "Jimmy " is the
latest , I think. Oh, f or the life of a
turtle !
SPECIAL F E A T U R E : We have
dug up a number of famous quotations or sections thereof and would
like to dedicate them as follows :
^
come to him who waits.'
"All tilings
"All things come to him who waits."
—Book-line standees.
"Youth will be served!"—Chowline.
"It' s all in a day 's work. " —Prof.
Keller .
"Words writ in waters"—Ballpoint
pens.
"Honor women! They entwine and
weave heavenly roses in our earthly
life." — To the Doghouse, in r emembrance of recent anti-feminism remarks.
"All will come out in the washing."
—College laundry.
"Many are called but few are chosen."— 'Stop the Music'
"Speech is power."—Miss Johnston.
"Veni, vide, vici."—Lock Haven.
"The multitude is always in the
wrong." — Balm for rueful Republicans.
"You may prove anything by figures."—Ziegfield.
"Learning with out t hou ght is labor
lost."—Memorization for tests.
"No man is too busy to read Shakespeare." — Mr. Wilson's Shakespeare
class.
"They can conquer who believe
they can."—Truman.
"A fool may ask more questions in
an hour than a wise man can answer
in seven years." — For those who
flunked finals.
"Look before you ere you leap."—
Mary Lou Transue (Glad to see you
crutchless!)
"Matches are* made in Heaven."—
Diamond Match Co. (Competition? )
"Freedom of the press."—For the
flretower.
"Iron hand in a velvet glove."—Dr.
Kehr.
"Here today and gone tomorrow."
—Seniors.
"The less written, the better." —
Kitty (By, now!)

On Tuesday, January 25, the College
Hour program , which is broadcast
weekly over radio station WCNR, was
composed of several musical solos by
"Was your friend shocked over the
Joe Curilla , and Ralph Wire, both of death of his mother-in-law?"
whom rendered several selections.
"Shocked ? He was electrocuted!"
Philip Crawford, presiding at the organ , contributed various organ pieces
which
wore of excellent quality.
"Just a minute, I'll get it for you,"
she replied. She rushed down the The radio program scheduled for
"1
steps and tripped over a cow.
February 1 will be in charge of Mr.
Stephen Hopkins, head of the private
Compliments
"What's worse than finding a worm school of music at B.S.T.C.
when you bite into an apple?"
"Finding half a worm."
Compliments

Once there was a girl who was very
near-sigh ted and her boy friend eternally kidded her about it. So one night
she planned to show him that she was
not as near-sighted as he thought.
Taking a needle from her sewing basket, she craftily stuck it in the huge
pine tree standing next to the porch .
That night as they were sitting on
Class President: "Congratulate me!
the porch swing, she said , "Why honey, isn't that a needle there in the I won the election!"
Dad : "Honestly?"
tree?"
Prexy: "Why bring that up?"
"Needle! What needle?" said he.

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AND EQUIPM ENT CO.
Royal Typewriter Sales
and Service

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235 Iron Street

Phone 67

Letterman 's
Sweet Shop

West Main Street

Gialamas

Compliments

Everythin g For Sports

J , C» Penney Co.

SPC RT SliCP

Home of Values

Borrowed

at the

229 Center Street
Bloomaburg, Pa,

The new guard placed his hand on>n
the shoulder of the convict before him n
and began the rhythmic lockstep back k
to the j ail.
"Is this all there is to this rock k
splitting job?" asked the new guard. 1.
"Hell, man, isn't fourteen hours a a
day of it enough?"
"Nothing to that. "
"Plus seven days a week of it? Bad i
fo od , rotten beds!"
"Oh , that's heaven!"
"Say, Mack , where did you come ?
from?"
"dh, I used to teach at B.S.T.C."
Prof: What are you late for today ?
St u den t: Class , I guess.
—Alcalde
"Miss Jon es, may I present Mr.
Smith?"
"Hello, Miss Jones."
"Hi yoo all."
"Do you go to school, Miss Jones?"
"I sho 'nuff do, in li'l ol' Chawlston."
"How long?"
"This is mah first ye-ah."
"Where did you go to school before
that?"
"I graduated from high school in
Cleveland."

"Why does an Indian wear feathers
on his head?"
"To keep his wigwamf
"My old man is still serving on an
ffcland in the Pacific."
"Which one?"
"Alcatr az."
—Squirl
"What are that young man 's intent-

ion s, daughter?"
"I don 't know, Dad , he 's keeping

me pretty much in the dark."
—Collegio
"What is a student council?"
"A body of students surrounded by
faculty advisors."

A Scotsman was leaving for a business trip, and as he departed , he
called back, "Goodbye all, and dinna
forget to take off little Donald's glasses when he isn't looking at anything."
—Froth
The surgeon stood by the bedside
and looked down at the dying soldier.
"I cannot hide from you the fact
that you are very ill ," he said. "Is
there anyone you would like to see?"
"Yes, sir, " said the sufferer faintly.
"Who?"
"Another doctor, sir."
Moe: "Who was Talleyrand?"
Shmoe: "A fan dancer, and cut the
baby talk. "

For Your

DINING
and
DANCING
Pleasure

The

Village
Inn
Espy, Pa.

Epple y's Drug Store
Main & Iron Streets
Bloomsburg, Pa,