•r

NEXT WEEK:
the last Eagle Eye for
the semester.

Celebrating 19 years at Lock Haven University as...

The

EAGLE E

Happy Anzac Day to
all the Aussies!

Volume 42, Number 12

Friday, April 24, 1992

16 pages
New officers innaugurated, former officers honored

Another way to get tickets

City proposes housing, parking reform SCC News
dwelling, and only three parking permits.
It was also stated, however, that die landlord must have parking available before
renting the house as more than one living
The Lock Haven City Planning Commit- unit.
This pn^sal came about because of cititee generated some controversy Wednesday
night at City Hall with prqx)sals to require zen concem about paridng congestion
parking permits for residents hving in town around Lock Haven University.
Residents at the meeting said diat cars are
and rental prc^rty inspection as part of a
being
parked in their neighborhood on
new comprehensive plan.
Monday,
and not picked up until Friday.
The overall plan contains six basic propoThis
causes
residents to have trouble findsals including maintaining existing residential neighborhoods, establishing small ing a place to park.
It was also suggested at die meeting that
neighborhood commercial land use areas,
the
University take some responsibility for
adding more shopping areas in the downthe
parking
problem.
town area, using the land around die airport
Dr.
Dean
Phelps, vice-president for fifor hi-tech facilities, a residential parking
nance
and
administration,
who attended the
permit program, and the inspection of rental
meeting, said that die University is currentproperties.
ly trying to take care of die paridng probThe residential parking permit program
lems.
would require a permit, with a nominal fee
The committee said Shippensburg and
of $5, to be put on the windshield or dashWest
Chester, bodi college towns, currendy
board of a car to show that the car belongs
have
parking
permit policies, and have had
in the neighborhood where it is parked.
no
problems
with
them. West Chests has
The parking permit would only be needed
had
a
permit
policy
for 15 years.
during the evening and early morning
One resident commented that the congeshours. Tentatively only three permits would
be issued per dwelling unit, plus two visitor tion is only during the semester because students don't need their cars daily and must
permits.
find
a place to park them.
This would create a problem for rentiuig
Another
resident mentioned the Universistudents who have four people living in the
by April Miller
Eagle Eye News Reporter

ty should have strict guidelines to ensure
freshmen do not have cars, since diey seem
to be the ones who have to search for paricing spacse off campus.
The other controversial proposal brought
up at the meeting conceming rental inspection developed because residents are concerned diat more than four unrelated people
are living in one living unit
This inspection would take place annually
and be paid by the landlcn-d.
This policy would protect the "general
health and welfare" of the residents of the
neighborhood, according the the committee.
The committee devised this policy because of die existing problem of landkwds
renting to more than the allowed number of
unrelated people, which is four per dwelling
unit
The committee expressed that die existing
zoning ordinance was adopted in 1980, and
since then the enrollment at LHU has increased, causing the current problems.
The issues addressed at the meeting are
only proposals which have to be approved
by City Council before going into effect.
Some council members are opposed to
changes in the plan.
City CouncU will vote on these proposals
at a meeting diat wUl be held May 18 at
7p.m. at City Hall.

JQ and The Bandits go on without Piscopo
DespiteJoe Piscopo's cancellation of the
April 24 concert, the opening act. JQ and
the Bandits, will be performing for free in
Thomas Fieldhouse.
People widiout valid student I.D. may attend the concert for $2.
A quartet of young singers who specialize in acf^iella '50's doo-wop, JQ and The
Bandits were discovered on a Greenwich
Village street comer by a theatrical agency
who first sent them to die casting directors
of the award-winning Levi's 501 commercials.
Levis'representativesimmediately slated
them for production in theil- ad campaign as
the sole subject of a 30-second national television spot, for which the guys composed
their own musical arrangement of the jingle
now known as "Levi's 501-derful Blues." A
seccMid Levi's commercial ~ a 60-second
montage set to a gospel soundtrack ~ featured The Bandits in outtakes.
These commercials triggered widespread
interest in JQ and The Bandits and led to

extensive national touring. From Alaska to
Texas, and on to Florida and the Northeast,
JQ and the Bandits made personal apperances on outdoor stages of music festivals,
on studio sets for television shows, on college campuses, in clubs and on concert
stages throughout die counU7.
From the beginning, the response to The
Bandits has been overwhelming. They won
MTV's Basement Tapes Competition with
their original music video, "The Bandits of
Love," and were cast in two films.
Soon the Bandits were ai^aring at such
major events as the Super Bowl and the
NCAA Final Four festivities hosted by
Sports Illustrated. They even had the honor
of performing for President and Mrs. Bush
at The White House.
This past year diey have starred in pop
concerts with symphony orchestras across
the United States. Recendy they traveled to
Europe when they were invited to sing for
die Dutchess of York at die Berkeley
SquareBall in London, and dieir success

there has (qiened the door for an upcoming
European tour and dieirfirstrecord.
The album. "Bandits of Love." is perhaps
die most important step in bringing the
group national and intemaional exposure.
The reccH-d is an exciting combination of
oringinal and cover tunes, a capella and vocal/instumental tracks.
JQ and die Bandits is made up of lead
singer Michael Taranto, Chris May on bass,
David Montgomery on baritone and Steven
Katz on tenor.
In the more than 500 personal appearances made by die group since their "Levi's
days," diey have perfected a style of intricated vocals and humorous musical staging
diat is both entertaining and innovative.
Added to their critical and public acclaim, JQ and The Bandits have received
several awards, including Nighdife Magazine's "Top Ten Cabaret Acts" and two Bistro awards.
See page 6 for details of Joe Piscopo
cancellation.

by April Miller
Eagle Eye News Reporter
The new executive officers were inaugurated at the SCC meeting Thursday evening in die Hall of Flags.
Steve Madrak took die office of president of die SCC, while tearfully. President KeUy Beck stepped down.
Beck told the new officers that they
have "a lot of work ahead," and diat
she feels that the SCC of die past year
has made a "foundation" for the future
SCC.
Beck also said diat die new officers
wouM berepresentingthe students, so
diey must remember they have the
right to "stick their nose" into all business.
Also at the meeting, vending contracts for entertainment and laundry
were SQ^nroved by die senate. Guerrini
of Lewistown was selecte 1 to provide
entotainment equipment, and Equipment Marketing of Williamsport was
approved to provide laundry equipment
Food vending contracts have been
narrowed to two companies, but more
negotiations must be made before one
can be selected.
It was announced that the legislators
in Harrisburg were pleased to see the
turnout on State System E>ay.
Also announced was that the campus
lighting project is now underway, and
soon new poles will be put up.
Plaques in recognition of dedicadcm
and hard work to the SCC were given
to departing officers and senators who
are going away due to graduation, or
participating in study alntiad programs.
Lasdy die 1992-93 budget was approved by the senate.

DO NOT FORGET!!
April 28: th@
primories.
VOTE!!
Write to your voting distric
to get on absentee ballot
and get out and vote.

OPINION/EDITORIAL

2 Eagle Eye Friday. April 24.1992

"SPOT THE FAKE AD"
The Lock Haven University Eagle Eye
proudly presents anodier wedc with ofur famous Inainbuster, 'Spot The Fake Ad." For
those of you who haven't played before, the
mles are simple. Read them over and get
ready to win!
1) Pick up a copy of the Eagle Eye,
2) After finding out what's news on campus, browse through the advertisements
(yes, die ads).
3) Spot The Fake Ad! It's easy to play,
it's fiin, and best of aU, it's FREE!
If you think you've spotted the fake ad,
just fill out the entry form sui^lied and
Atoip it off at our office in the.basement of
Russell HaM, Room 18. Entries must be
submitted by Wednesday. April 22 by 4
p.m. Well draw one winner ivora all entries
and give that lucky person a prize!
Eagle Eye writes and staff members cannot enter, but all odior students, faculty and
University staff members are free to play.
The fake ad will never appear on die Classified page.
T h i s w e e k ' s w i n n e r is R o n i
Rux!
Congratulations!

ION
a FREE
t-shlrt from
THE
LHV
BOOKSTORE
I F YOU CAN
"SPOT THE F A K E AD"

r " SPOT T H E F A K E AD" 1

I
-I
IN A ME
.1
IPHONE
#
I NAME OF THE FAKE AD: I
I

I

entry form

I
Winner notified Thursday, April 30

Student expresses dissatifaction at receiving two flnes for one violation
To die Editor:
The odier day I inadvertendy parked my
friend's car in a campus paridng lot. not realizing that he did not have a parking decal.
I deservingly received a parking violation
fix)m our crack security force. I did not deserve the double fine of ten dollars I received for not displaying a decal and parking in an unauthorized area. I was in an
unauthorized area because I did not have
the decal required to park there. I was fined
twice for the same violation. Instead of
paying die five dollar fine, I had to pay ten
doUars. Ten dollars which I could not afford.
In the past I have been fined only five
dollars for not displaying a decal. Today

The last £iw/e Eye wiO ber
published
The members and supporters of die Lesbian,
Ibreak: read the paper!)
Gay, and Bisexual .Student League invite stuJti$$ arenuflderof deadlines:
dents, faculty, and staff to dieir next presentation.
This will be an open forum of straight talk on
AXtS-^ Mooday by 5 P-iB.
the 28di of April at 7 p.m. in Robinson Hall of
CtASSlFIEPS • Wednesday by
Flags. Such topics as homophobia, discrimina5 p.m.
tion, and life as a gay student will be discussed.
LKTl ERS TO THS^EPITOR
Questions will also be addressed! We hope to
see you there!
Sincerely,
Prelerencc will be given uo those
The
Members and Supporters of
ucms handed m early. Due to space
L.G.B.S.L.
constramts, please be bncf.
Eds note: This letter was signed by an individuC O N ( J R A T U l . A T I O N S T O al, Michael Parletl, in accordance with Eagle
Eye guidelines.
THE N £ W STAFF:
Editor tn chief
Tara Caimi
Associate Editor.
Shawn LtddicK
m3M You don't need
News editors:
I ^ H to be Einstein to
Ken Newquist and Alysia Moticha
ij^H know a great
features editors:
.Sue Heintzelman and April Miller
i ^ H deal when you
Spiirts Editors:
Rob Hellw and Gfcg Cetu
Photography editor.
C O M E TO THE
Travis BtbWc
LHU BOOKSTORE'S
Advei^ing Matto^er
Sean Confer
Netdeid:

^JSm ^^^ ^^^

Cinaitatiaii sBidOassafieds

.

Advirttsb^ if^nOfer
Rache] mtstennan
Classtfieds Editor
Kn$tin jQ$«{^hson

Lock Haven University
lA>ck Haven, PA 17745
(717)893-2334
Editor ittChi^

EmUee Orpc«
Sp&rtsBdUtfr
3faawn U^HxiAi
Photography Bditor
Travis PreW>Je
Advisor

AUCTION

on Special Merchandise in our
Bargain Cotner I

EagieEye

NewsBdttors
Sue Kdntssetntaii
KeiiNiewtluisi

die officer felt like giving me a ten dollar
fine. The receptionist at Law Enforcement
told me diat if the officer wanted to, he or
she could fine me three times the same violation, for a fine totaling fifteen dollars.
Whew! What a relief diat the officer only
felt Ukefiningme twice for the same thing.
Perhaps, next time he or she will only
give me one fine. One fine for one violation sounds fine to me, but obviously not
for Law Enforcement The receptionist also
told me that it was a case of double jeopardy which I couldn't prevent She also said
diat dieoretically die fine for not displaying
a decal could never be used alone. If so,
dien what is die purpose of having it? If it
serves no purpose except to be combined

Some items already
marked down
FeatttrfsBditor.\

Dougie Bickei
htmPtii^tr

'^ates Manager
John Haddad
CircuUuion
.Mit^eilc Krwjier

Dr. Dougtas S. Campbell

The Eagle Eye, official newspaper of Lock Hsn^en Univ«r»ity. is'oubUAed weekly in. accordance
wiiJi tlie Univertjty calendstr. Tlie articles, opinions, picnires and layout of the Eagle Eye ate die
responsibility of the editorial staft ami Oo not reflect th admtnJstratioii unless specifi(;cl.
Lellers to the editor are due the day before pubUcstjoij at noon Aii letler.s should be iyfjed, no
longer than 200 w the right to edit copy for libel, tastc. Style and length. Ea/>tf; Eye staff meolings; .ire held Tiie.sd.iy and TTiursday 81 1 p.m. m Russell Hasemenl, roorti
18. Thii Eagle Eye is funded by the student aaivityfee and {Jrinied by the Express
Classifieds deadline is Wcdnestlay at noon; advertisemenls are due Mondays atnaon.

457o
Items remaining unsoidwill
be marlced down an
odditionai 5% every sctiooi
day until sold!
OFFER GOOD WHILE SUPPLIES LAST

Jlttention Seniors!
Get your g r a d u a t i o n

CAP & G O W N
$16.50
at the LHU BOOKSTORE

graduation Announcements
$10.9^ancCup

with another fine, then it should be abolished. I would like one uniform fine of ten
dollars for a violation rather than leaving
the amount I get fined up to the officer. Today I was fined ten dollars, next week I
may be fined fifteen dollars, the week after
that I may be fined five dollars. All for the
same violation.
Something definitely needs to be done
about this and I am asking the administration to correct the injustice. Our own judicial system doesn't allow double jeopardy;
how can oiv Law Enforcement allow it?
Sincerely,
Tom Hartill

Student rebuts Kramer letter
To the Editor:
This letter is written in response to Michelle Kramer's letter to the editor on April
3, 1992, conceming die article, "Coming
Out of the Closet."
Frankly, Miss Kramer, it seems to me
you are "digging your own grave" by asserting your personal interpretations of ancient Jewish culture as divinely revealed
truths in order to justify your personal discomfort with the presence of openly gay
and lesbian people on this campus.
How do you know what Leviticus
means. Miss Kramer? Do you read ancient Aramaic? Have you ever seen the
original manuscripts that make up Leviticus and Corinthians? Unless you are
versed in anthropological philosophy, your
interpretations of those books strike me as
a thoughtless and destructive use of biblical wisdom.
I offer three seperate versions of Genesis: 1:26 - "Then God said: Let us make
man in Our image, after Our likeness."
1:27 - "God created man in his image; in
the divine image He created Him; male
and female. He created them."
1:31 - "And so it happened. God looked at
everything He had made, and He found it
very good."
Assuming that your Bible roughly says
the same thing, that you would interpret
this Uterally, and that you believe in God;
then if God is all good, and the Bible says
that God created men and women in His
own divine image, then logically you
would have to agree that since I am human, my homosexual orientation, which is
an integral part of my humanity, is a reflection of God's image and therefore is an aspect of His Divine Plan.
When you assert to gay people that
"some diings are better left unsaid" and imply that we should stay in our closets, then
either you are blaspheming God's creation,
which includes you, you are too lazy to use
your God-given intelligence to develop the
disciplined critical thinking skills necessary for defending your own religious beUefs.
In my opinion, God did not make me
with a homosexual orientation in His image just for your personal use as a means
for shoring up your fragile sense of selfesteem.
It is not the gay students, but you who
"should not make excuses and expect society to feel sorry for you or welcome you
with open arms" because you openly admit
your choice for ingnorance - a choice compatible with the LHU administration's philosophy of education. So, Miss Kramer
your closet of ignorance beckons.
Sincerely,
Jude Montarsi

NEWS

Friday, April 24,1992 Eagle Eye

3

Police Beat High School students solve world issues at model UN
IH«ttHW'milllHlltl>miHtllll>MHIH*M»H*W*»,>HtlllllllMll1l HUM lilt

by Julie Spinks
Eagle Eye News Reporter

EttgittSyifNg»sJti^p<»rter
liarttrament by comBiunicatiuni
Apirfi;;^, A$tttd(H»moineDfti(&r«H»
^di^oce h4l]» fex>dved haia»$&)g lA^ft^
«$ Hft KRul ram Ay^H |7„ A person
>iiiir^li£;Med it wiaie c ^ sitriic& an ddtt
l^ack model virfticJe in the parking lot
ne^ the lU»-ary. T!l«re was damage to
the de of the car. The bit and
xwn h believed to have occuirwt at
12:20 I^W. JPbssible charges of hit and
Am ait pending.
Fdvstwrm: April 17. Afir^alamt
wentOffaNcffthHall. ITie alamj was
said to be ^«ctive and will be re{^a(^ by :maintenance.
AICQIKA consumption: April 17.
AR ILA. lA one of the residesiee balls
ctA\&i JLaw Enforcemient to report three
sfudentft that were &tagg:ering in the
haS. taw Bnfwrcemcni reponcd to the
dorm to confiscate a 12-pack ol beer a.s
wcH a-? other t>'pe8 of a}coh(^. This
case IS being httndlcd by Student Life.
Criminal mischief: April 16. A
siudciu rt"[X)rt€tl thai sojna)no sstiashed
ooe of his car, wmdows on his I99t
Chevtolet. the car was parked in Area
14 tmd w said to have occurred between
KkMajti. and 530 p.m. If anyone lias
any lofonmation on thi.s case, please
cal! Law Enforcement.
Theft; April 16. A bucket, mop and
ai^aeegee was reptjrtcd stolen from
Thomas Fieldhouse. That day, the
Lock Havea City F'olicx.- spoiled the
TOJSStng items in a home downtown
vfhalt issoittg a warrant In tbe bc»ise.
TM City Police notified Law EnfopcsettMDt^ wiK> c^ted the hous« «Ht i^seitiooed^ttic r«»dents. Uastr the items
vete i^md bacnk itt Ihomts FtdKihotuae.
Hits ««B i$,pe»»dwg further investigatkm.
DIsorderJIjr ctrnditct: April 14. A
(KHi-studeai tried to iOA a Tight with a
student i» tbe im^^mxm <^ Kogers
Gyiam^atR. Thb case i& tiaa under

MaiirilSsmiiis M'f<^ IB(fiiiQ%
(well, may be not, but wouldn't
it be an improvement?)
Now that we've go you tricked
into reading this ad...
The Eagle Eye is looking for
cartoonists next year. Interested
artists should submit samples to
our oiTice in the basement of
Russell Hail (Room 18) by May
1st. It can be political, satirical,
or a Garfield wanna be, as long
as it's a cartoon.

awarded for the delegate who demonstrates
the most accurate refH'esentation of their
country's culture, values and foreign policy.
Bald Eagle Nittany High School won for
the best individual delegate and Monroe
Woodbury of New York won both the best
delegation and most accurate representation
of their country.
The University provided meals for all participants and provided lodging on a first

come,firstserved basis for up to three delegates and their faculty advisors who traveled long distances.
Each delegation prepared resolutions for
discussion at the Model United Nation, of
which the best 21 were placed on die preliminary agenda
Rules for the Model United Nations are
adapted from the rules of procedure of the
General Assembly of Uie United Nations.

Almost 300 high school students, representing 14 Pennsylvania and New York
schools, met on April 8 in Price Auditorium, and attemptied to resolve such contemporary world issues as chemical and biological warfare as they met Lock Haven
University's Model United Nations.
After a year of extensiveresearch,the student delegates spent Ajnil 9 and 10 on campus debating resolutions for their respective
countries.
According to program coordinator Lawrence T. Farley, Phd., many of this year's
committee resolutions focused on three issues which currently face the United Nations: the aboUshment of chemical and biological weapons, the implementation of
United Nations Charter Article 47, and the
reformation of the International Court of
Justice.
Farley noted that this type of debate has
taken place at the Model United Nations for
the past 20 years. "The program, which is
the University's largest high school outreach project, is designed for academicallyinclined students," said Farley. "Unlike
their athletic peers, these student have few
opportunities to distinguish themselves in
competition or to bring back a school trophy."
Each year, the University presents tro- Students gathered in Price Auditorium last year for the Model United Naphies to the best delegation, and the best in- tions (photo by Shawn Liddick).
dividual delegate. A special trophy is also

Students sweat it out to defeat heart disease
dinators of the program, will be among
those to lead participants in one hour of
high-low combination aerobics and one
hour of low impact aerobics. Each hour will
include a warm-up and cool-down period
An aerobics marathon benefiting the with a 10 minute refreshment break in beAmerican Heart Association will be held in tween.
Thomas Fieldhouse on Sunday, April 26.
Participants must solicit pledges from
The Dance for Heart, co-sponsored by friends, co-workers and family for the marFitness Unlimited of Lock Haven and the athon, with a $25 pledge as the minimum
University Recreation Society, will run needed for entry. All proceeds will go tofrom 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. on Sunday. Regisora- wardfightingClinton County's number one
tion will begin at noon.
killer, heart disease.
Fitness Unlimited aerobic instructors
Prizes will be awarded to participants
Dawn Therrell and Leanna Hakin, the coor- based upon the amount of pledges they obby Kevin Kovac
Eagle Eye News Reporter

X saw him hobbling his way up my driveway
clutching a check and drooling out the left
side of his mouth. I looked into the sky and
cried, 'Oh, Lord, give this good man a rest.'
Suddenly the answer came to me as fast as a
lightning boh striking Jessica Hahn. I found
my mission."
Mrs. Edna Comwallis
Stain, Kansas
Founder of the Society to Retire Ed McMahon
PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY TO

The Society to
Retire
Ed McMahon
Mrs. Comwallis of Slain, Kansas has begun this crusade to free Ed from the cruel and unusual plight of
delivering sweepstakes checks to the average shmuck
now that Johnny left the show. Do your civic duty
and donate generously by calling 1-800-GIVE IT UP

tain.
All participants will be eligible to win
door prizes from a variety of Lock Haven
businesses: Sweeney's Floral Shop, Clyde's
Sporting Goods, Hair Studio 35, LHU
Bookstore, River Farms Market and Belles
Springs Restaurant
WSNU 92-FM is providing free advertising and supplying announcers for the event,
All participants are asked to Ixing their
pledges to Thomas Fieldhouse the day of
the marathon.

The ^amiCy (PCanning CCinic
of LockjHavtn
speciaCizing in Women's ^UaCtfi Services
We're personaC and confidentiaC....
Our services include
Choice of'Birth
Control
%ffu.tim (Pap df 'Pregnancy Tests
Tests & Treatment for sexually
transmitted
infections
Counseling & ^ferrcUs
We aCso offer reduced rates for coUtfft students

Caiius today for an
appointment at
748-7770
We're located at
955 'BeliefonU 5\venueacross from "Burger O^ng

4 Eagle Eye Friday. April 24.1992

NEWS

Around campus in 2.9 seconds

University Briefs
AI6 helps Hale House with
community, student donations
During the month of April the sisters of
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. have
placed coin jars around campus and in
town for a fundraiser to benefit Hale
House.
Hale House was founded over 20 years
ago in Harlem. New York by Mother Clara Hale. Motho- Hale started taking abandoned, drug-addicted babies and homeless children into her home. Today Hale
House also helps drug-addicted mothers
and cares for babies with AIDS by JMX)viding food, shelter, and clodiing for
them.
The sorority has placed coin jars in residence halls on campus and various local
businessess downtown such as Commonwealth Bank, Addie's, Weaver and
Probst, Clyde's and McDonald's. All
proceeds will go towards helping Hale
House which is in financial trouble due to
government cutbacks.
The sorority ai^reciates all contrubitions to help keep Hale House as a place
where unfortunate children can be cared
for and loved.
• Hope Willis

Students and town
to rally against
night-time violence
Lock Haven University will join the
community and people across the nation
on April 30 in the annual "Take Back
the Night" celebration to combat violence
throughout the United States.
Sponsored by the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape, the event bans together men and women to show the force of
unity and take and the power to walk on
streets at nmight without fear.
Locally, the Clinton County Women's
Center is planning two different marches
through downtown Lock Haven, culminating in a rally on the LHU campus,
where a third march will take place. Although die core group of marchers is
women, they will be joined be male supporters who agree that violence has gotten out ot hand.
At the rally, assault survivors and
members of the community, including the
keynote speaker State Representative Michael Hanna, will address the crowd
The march route will begin at the corner of Jay and Main Steets. The second
route will begin at the top of Bellefonte
Avenue hill and will tum onto Fairview
Street Marchers will meet at 7:15 p.m.
and begin walking on the sidewalks at

7:30 p.m. Participants will sing songs
and chants while walking to Lock Haven
University. All are encouraged to join in
the program, which is expected to last until 9:30p.m.

Hill honored in
Italy for paper
Recently, Dr. Christopher Hill, professor of history was chosen to present his
paper, "Nature, Utility, and Commerce:
The Concept of Wasteland in Riparian
North India" at a discussion on the topic
in Italy.
Hill was chosen as one of 17 scholars
from different counuies around the world.
Hill said, he was pleased to receive recognition for his work.
The p^}er examines how the British
Colonization of India affected the wilderness there. His paper discusses the British
view that non-commercially used areas
were considered "wasteland," and the affects this attitude had on the land.
According to Hill, this is a new area of
study that is just gaining momentum. His
p a ^ r and the others given in Italy will be
published by the Oxford Press.
Hill also said that he was inspired by
the conference and will attempt to finish
his book. Rivers of Sorrow: Environments
and Social CorUrols in Colonial India this
summer.
-Matt Yocom

Speaker illuminates students
about black feminism, politics
by Kenneth Newquist
Eagle Eye News Editor

Lions,statues and "whoop'ns"
combined to illustrate black
feminism as Dr. Patricia HillCollins spoke in Robinson Hall
of Flags last Friday.
Hill-CoUins' speech, which
was titled The Politics of Black
Feminist Thought, "investigated black women's own ideas
about reality and how they interact with their environment"
Hill-Collins is currently an
associate professor of sociology
and African-American studies
at the University of Cincinnati.

^^^BB

J^^T

1

l^^^B^^^^I

»k

Dr. Patricia Hill-Collins (photo courteiy PR).

Hill-Collins illustrated her most essential
point by telling the story of a young black
girl, walking through a park with her mother. In the park the litUe girl saw a statue of
a white, Nordic looking man wresding and
pinning a lion. She then tumed to her
mother and stated "but ma, a man can't
whoop a Uon..."
Hill-Collins then explained that people's
backgrounds determine their views of reality, and their possible future. She delved
into the double barriers of race and sex that
black women must face as they grow up,
constantly referring back the basic black
woman's outlook that says that a man cannot *who(^' a lion, no matter what his
race.
Hill-Collins said that what she was
taught direcUy conflicted with what she
saw. All through her books, man was
"whoop'n" the lion, even though she knew

he couldn't
Hill-Collins, who will help the University
develop of minor on race and gender, explained that history books in grade schools
can misrepresent historical facts.
One such "whopper" was that blacks
were happy under slavery, because they
sang in the fields and the idea of Tarzan, a
white male, as being lord of the jungle, ie
Afiica, and his mate, Jane.
Hill-Collins urged students to take an aggressive stance with their education and to
challenge what they leam.
She also
stressed expanding the general curriculum
to include a wider variety of people, customs, and ideas.
She closed by stating that "knowledge is
essential to challenge oppression" and then
everyone should realize that of course. " a
man can't whoop a lion."

Students did not
let them starve
Students raised over $ 1,400 to help
feed local people who cannot afford food
in the "I will not let them starve" campaign conducted by the Newman Center,
the catholic campus ministry organization.
During the week of March 11 students
volunteered to give up meals for the
week to the program. John Wilt, director
of food services agreed to give the food
equivalency of $1.25 per meal to the
charity.
Bentley, which is still tabulating the
results, will give the equivalent amount
in whatever kind of food the food bank
wants.
Mark Taggert, who helped coordinated the event was pleased with turn out.
He did not expect to earn more than
$800.
- Sue Heintzelman

I

Finally! Spring arrives at Ulmer (photo by Travis Prebble)

NEWS

Riday. April 24,1992 Eagle Eye

5

Beer goggling, alcoholism top survey list
Students think alcoholism and alcohol
abuse are prevalent problems on campus,
according to a survey conducted at the end
of March by the College Issues Forum, a
division of the honors program.
The survey was distributed randomly to
20 percent of the students at Lock Haven
University. This survey was used to acquire information on the alcoholic behaviors and attitudes of the students.
The survey indicated that the majority of
those students who drink do not drink to be
socially accepted, to escape problems, to
relax, to impress members of the opposite
sex, or until they become sick. A variation
of these results was found with most males
living off campus, whose results showed
that they occasionally drink for the above
reasons. However, with responses like
these, the question "why do you drink?"
needs to be asked.
With the exception of the indecisive oncampus females under 21 and off-campus
females over 21, the overwhelming majority of the students felt that Lock Haven University should not be a dry campus. Most
of the off-campus males and females felt
that the drinking age should be 21 years

Where most students frequently consume alcohol.

Types of alcohol students
consume most.

• Beer
E3 Wine Coolers
n Mixed Drinl • Liquor
• Wine

26.0%
18.0%
22.0%
18.0%
16.0%

• Bars
IS Parties
B Dorms
Q Home

38.0%
32.0%
18.0%
12.0%

Statistics compiled by the College Issues Forum. Graphs by Ken Newquist and Sue
Heintzelman.

old, while the rest of the students surveyed
felt otherwise.
The majority of off-campus students said
they drink at their homes or at bars, while
on-campus students said they go mostly to
Greek and non-Greek parties to drink.
Drinking in the dorms was higher among
males than females and the survey showed
that drinking alone remained at a minimum.
What types of alcoholic beveragesthe
students choose to drink varied greatly, although the majority indicate that beer and
mixed drinks are among the favorites. In
addition, students often drink wine coolers,
hard Uquor, wine, grain alcohol, and malt
liquor.
One of the major events at parties, which
is the topic of many jokes is the behavior
known as "beer goggling." With the definition of beer goggUng as the consumption
of a excessive amount of alcohol and becoming sexually attracted to someone who
would not otherwise be attractive, the surveyed students said that beer goggling falls
between an average and a very serious
problem.

i\

President addresses athletics, teacher cuts at open forum
by Lisa Tobia
Eagle Eye News Reporter
The possiblity of cutbacks to athletics
was the major issue addressed at the open
meeting President Craig Dean WiUis held
on April 16 for members of the campus
community.
Willis described the cuts to the athletic
budget as a "sensitive subject." Although
no decision has been made yet for cut backs
in the athletic department, it is being considered.
Willis explained that the athletic department is included in the list of departments
that may face cut-backs.
Sharon Taylor, director of athletics, said
the department cost was lower than she
even expected. 'The athletic department is
an easy target because it is not in the academic area.
"It should be considered that, for market
purposes, most prospective students hear
about Lock Haven University dirough its
sports." Taylor said.
John Capwell, a non-traditional student
expressed his thoughts on the subject. Capwell said the University is retaining its athletic programs while students face not being
able to graduate on time because of a lack
of course selection.
"Students on a whole want more than a
gesture, but a sacrifice in the economic area
to help make available more classes," Cap-

well said.
He suggested that Willis, and not just the
state government, has the ability to make
cuts.
'The problem is this school is turning
into a five year institution. Enrollment has
increased and now they are literally cutting
back on faculty and as a result we are not
able to get the classes we need," Capwell
said.
Dr. Linda Koch, vice president of student
affairs, commented on the subject, saying
her mission is to "maintain the level of support ... [and] ... make decision in the best
interest of the student body."

Another issue brought up was the tempo- a "communication gap" between students
rary positions being offered in the English and potential dangers. She gave an example
Department One student asked why it of the recent escape of three convicts from
seemed that the University was sacrificing a local prison that were last seen in Lock
the quality of the professors by offering Haven.
part-time positions to teachers who, for the
A law enfcnrment representive said if
most part, are only interested in secure,
there was a danger on the campus the local
tenure-track positions.
police would notify law enforcment immeDr. Mary Pursell, vice president for aca- diately. When questioned about the escape,
demic affairs, said, "We are trying to hire area police station switchboards said they
the best people for the temporary position. had no knowledge of the convicts, saying
We will not hire a non-qualified person," "That must have happened while I wasn't
said WiHis.
on shift"
Another issue was brought up by student
Ginamarie Epifano, who was concerned
with student saftey. She feels that there is

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6 Eagle Eye Friday. April 24.1992
:x.' si- •A'.v »ji-\^v!

£ / e on Life
IE^(^^i}^
Tonight

The
and

Eagle
Eye's
Features,
Arts
Entertainment
Section

Joe Piscopo cancels LHU
Former "Saturday Night Live" star backs out from tonight's Thomas Fieldhouse performance

Reader's Theatre
prsentation of two
works. "Who Am I
This Time." and
"Miss Temptation."
by Kurt Vonnegut,
Jr.. and adapted by
Dr. Denys J. Gary.
Countdown Theatre
at 5 p.m. Free
admission.

by Dougie Bicket
Eagle Eye Features Editor

Sunday,
April 26
18th Annual
President's
Concert, Price
Performance
Ceina,3p.m.(see
story below).

Tuesday,
April 28
Percussion Ensemble concert. Sloan
Fine Arts Coiter.
Room 121,
7:30 p.m.
Free admission.

Wednesday,
April 29
Jazz Combo
perfcxmance, at
Price Performance
Center, 8 p.m.
Joe Piscopo: he won't be coming to LHU (Photo courtesy of Public Relations).

This week's
SCC Movieg;
Hot Shots
and

Naked Gun
2 112
Screenings in
the main
lounge,
McEntire Hall.
Friday and
Saturday,
7 p.m. and
9 p.m.

Band performs at President's Concert
by Kathie Robertshaw
Eagle Eye Features Reporter
The Lock Haven University concert band
will perform the I8th Annual President's
Concert to be held Sunday. April 26. in
Price Performance Center. The concert is
scheduled to begin at 3p.m.
Conducted by Dr. Florentino J. Caimi.
the band will perform works by Mozart,
Mendelssohn, Grainger, DeUo Joio, and
Gregson, and equally challenging compositions by Strauss, CtyplanA, and Sousa.
Freddy Lutz, a senior music major, will
make his conducting debut with the selection "Denbridge Way," by James Swear-

ington. Lutz. a student of Caimi. is from
Pordenone. Italy.
Timothy Dishong. a freshman french
horn major, will be the soloist for the upcoming concert. He will be performing the
first movement of thd Mozart "Horn Concerto in D," accompanied by the concert
band. Dishong, who studies french horn
with Professor Russell C. Nelson, is from
Rexmont.
A reception at the front of Price will follow the performance. The public will have
a chance to meet President Craig Dean
Willis, conductor Caimi, student soloists,
and members of die ensemble.
The Lock Haven University coruert band
is supported by the SCC.

Joe Piscopo, the SCC's big-name comedian for the end of the year show,
has canceled tonight's scheduled concert at Thomas Fieldhouse, according
to Leiand Spangler, director of Student
Activities.
The cancellation, announced on
Wednesday afternoon, came as a complete surprise to the SCC. According to
Spangler, "What I was told [by Piscopo's agent] was that transportation and
technical difficulties caused him to cancel." No further information was supplied, Spangler said, and the next stage
was to negotiate with the agents over
the terms of the contract
Spangler explained that artists usually have e s c ^ clauses built into any
contract, enabUng them to withdraw at
sh(Ht nodce. "In a concert situation
like this, die artist can pull out any time
he likes." The SCC was powerless to
reverse the decision, he continued, and
the concert is now definitely off.
The cancellation takes place against a
background of poor ticket sales and the
possibility of die SCC incurring a large
financial loss on the venture. According to Sophiny Pek, SCC Social Committee chairperson, only ISO tickets for
the concert had b€«n sold by Wednesday morning, with between 1,500 and
2,000 further tickets needed to be sold
by Friday night in order to break even.
Under tliese circumstances, said Pek, it
was probably advantageous to the SCC
for the cancellation to take place. "We
would've gone down [around] twenty
thousand dollars. If we cut our losses
now, we can cut that approximately in
half," she said.
Twenty thousand dollars is roughly
the figure for the total estimated cost of
the venture, according to Spangler. He
was unable to estimate how much money the SCC would lose now that it has
been canceled.
The search for a big end-of-year act
has presented numerous problems over
the last few months, said Dave Keenan,
outgoing SCC vice president. After
disagreements within the social committee over the choice of a suitable
rock band for the concert, it was decided early this semester to try to find a
comedy act as a compromise, said Keenan. However, by the time the disagreements had been sorted out and a
comedian selected, there was precious
little time to organize and publicize the
event.
When told of the news, SCC President-elect Steve Madrak expressed relief at the outcome, saying "We would
have lost twenty grand on diat thing."
Talking about next year, Madrak said
"There will definitely be a concert next
semester."

Apn

24
k^ficAinnila^u

Check out thi.s
week's cartoon
strips on the
next page: Lock
Haven 17745
and Nuketown

Dead Milkmen
and Death
MetaJ to the
fore.
New music
reviews
p8

Roadkill In the

concerm
Travis, our
intrepid
<:Qtuimti$t„^.p 9

STRANGER
THAN
FICTION

Meanwhile,
Infanti
discusses
dangerous
Study
habits......»».p 9

Bravard the
librarian
becomes

Bravard the
politidan,,,*p ttl

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Mi$i% A|«:a24^l9^ IBt^lkB^ f
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Bookstore robbed,
Law Enforcement baffled

'MtH Lisa LavtgUa
Taurus (April 20 • May 20)
The key to success is a pair of well filled spandex shorts.

the increase would generate an increase in activities.
In the same issue, it was rqmrted that Dr. Craig Dean Willis was
selected to be one of seven university professors who would tour
this week. The screening of por- Egypt on a fact-finding mission
nographic movies was causing, a later diat year. Willis explained
fuixHT on college campuses all the Egypt receives tiie second
across the country. At some uni- largest amount of financial aid
versities, administrative officials from the Federal Department of
canceled screoiings of such clas- Education, behind only Israel.
sic porno flicks as Deep Throat
The tour woukl determine sic
and Emmanuelle, causing students whetherOTnot the money was beto rise up in protest and. in one ing put to good use. I guess it's a
case, sue die university fOT violat- good thing that the federal governing therightsof the students.
ment and the University are so
No such excitement at LHU. concerned with giving financial
however. When our university aid to universities in Egypt I'll
held a showing of Emmanuelle, try to keep that in mind while I'm
the reaction was typical of Lock waiting in that tiuee-hour line at
Haven students: hardly anyone the Financial Aid office for my reshowed up.
fund check next semester.
April 18, 1980: The residence
AprU 26, 1991: "Student or ...
halls were given a special treat Satan worshiper?" reads one headthis week: new laundry machines! line in this week's Eagle Eye. A
Whoopee! The new machines poUceman from Williamsport
doubled the washing and drying gave a lecture on the topic of sacapacity on campus and did not lanism, claiming tiiat cults entice
break down as often as the older mwe students than people care to
ones. But there was a catch. The admit The officer was particularcost fOT one load of laundry rose ly concerned about Pennsylvania
to an unheard of 35 cents to wash
students because wooded areas
and 25 cents to dry (gasp!).
provide a good backdrop for rituApril 25, 1985: Speaking of als and the abundant wildlife
price increases, the SCC ^Tproved make for good satanic sacrifices.
a $10 increase in the student activ- Maybe the cat bludgeonings are a
ity fee. bringing it up to its present result of Satanic forces? (see last
level of $60. Student reaction was week's Police Beat).
generally positive, provided that

TALES FROM
THE MORGUE
by Lori Packer
Bigle Eye Features Editor
April 28, 1987: The bookstore
was riiq)ed off this week to the
tune of $2,000. Sweatshirts and
sweatpants, backpacks and cassette tapes were stolen during the
night Law Enforcement reported
that they had no information or
suspects in the case. (They can
find every illegally parked car and
every idrunk student walking
home, but they can't find a guy
widi $2,000 worth of stuff in his
pockets. Fascinating.)
In other news this week:
April 23, 1975: The now extinct greek organizations E>elta
Zeta and Acacia planned a fiindraisCT to collect money for Gallaudet College, the only nationally
accredited college fot the deaf.
Their idea was a bit bizarre. Their
plan was to roam around campus
and kidnap unsuspecting students.
They would then hold the students
captive until someone paid their
ransom. I've heard about giving
till it hurts, but this is a litde ridiculous.
April 25, 1978:
A noncontroversy was brewing a LHU

Gcmhii (May 21 • June 20)
Remember... It's not so much what you say as how much alcohol you've
consumed before you say it
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
A psycho history teacher will tum yotv life into utter chaos.
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)
Watch a few episodes of Bonanza andteamvaluable lessons about life.
Virgo (Aug. 23 • Sept 22)
Keep in mind the Surfers Law: If it swells, ride it
Libra (SepL 2 3 - O c t 22)
I drink, therefore I fall down ... A quote to live by.
Scorpkt ( O c t 23 - Nov. 21)

Avoid people wearing sweatshirts and shorts. If they can't figure out
whether it's warm or cold, they aren't people.you want to talk lo.
SagitUrius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 22)
Caution... People W1K> know all the words to the "Dukes of
Hazard" theme are dangerously psychotic.
Capricorn (Dec. 23 - Jan. 19)
Be careful around shithead hunters. You are on the top of thei: lists.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
Remember ... When condoms expire, they can still be blown up and used
for volleyball practice.
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)
A friend with beer is a friend held dear.
Aries (March 21 - AprU 19)
Raub Hall has been takoi over by imbeciles. Rim for your life.

Nuketown
The

Fred

Cooper

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i Bogle Eye Friday. April 24.1W2

WLHU
TOP TEN ALBUMS
1. Various Artists
Wayne's World
2. Kamones
L(KO Live
13. Weird Al Yankovic
a^The Deep End
They Might Be Giants
Apoth 18
Ugly Kid Joe
As Ugly As They Wanna
Be
6. Psychefunkapus
Skin
7. Elvis Hitier
Supersttdomasochisticexpi
alidocktus
8. Spinal Tap
Break Like The Wiml
9. The Dead MilknH^n
Sout Rotation
10. Pearl Jam
Ten

TOP FIVE SINGLES
1. Weird AI Yankovic
"SmeHs Like Nirvana"
2. Psychefunkapus
"Surfin* On Jupiter"
3. Spinal Tap
"Bitch School"
4. Elvis Hitler
"Yummy, Yummy,
Yummy"
5. Bodycount
"Bodycount"

m

Dead Milkmen get respect they deserve
i^^^pffi
This week's

pick

The Dead Milkmen
Soul Rotation

fmvmnwmfi

by Ryan Ritter
Eagle Eye Music Critic
"Hey, Jack. What's happening?"
"Well, uh, rumor around town
says there might be a new Dead
Milkmen album out, their sixth,
called "Soul Rotation."
Okay, the important thing here
is to get to the review, and might
I say I'm really impressed.
When I talk to people about the
Dead Milkmen (a band I'm homy
over more dian Matt is over Celtic Frost), most people say "The
Dead Who? I think I might have
heard of diem." Maybe they recognize previous songs such as
"Bitchen Camero," #1 on the college charts back in the Eighties of
"Punk Rock Girl," which I actually saw on MTV a few times.
This is the band Spin magazine
describes as "speciaUzing in sarcastic, musically eclectic social
commentary" (is that plagiarism?)
Ed.'s note: I think you're covered
Ryan.
Needless to say, this is my kind
of band. The Dead Milkmen
have influenced me for about as

SQMl ROTArm
long as they've been around (my
best friend's brother from home
manages diem), and their scadiing
wit and raw energetic music got
me through the stupid inanities of
high school. It also helped that
for the most part they can't sing
much better than I can.
Just the fact diat this Philadelphia foursome is still around and
putting out records means they
must be making enough money.
They've evolved a great deal
since their early garage band days
— they can even sing pretty well
now, and Soul Rotation is by far
their best technical production to

date.
The most important change on
this album is the transfer of the
majority of lead vocals from "H.P
Hovercraft" to "Butterfly Fairweather," previously known as
"Rodney Amadeus Anonymous"
and "Joe Jack Talcum," respectively. Butterfly carries a better
tune, but it's H.P.'s gravelly rasp
that is the essence of the Milkmen's energy.
Most Dead Milkmen songs are
parodies of life, tongue-in-cheek
pokes al ignorance, life's futility,
and society in general. All diese
elements brilliandy come together

Death metal comes of age
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Rock Scen^
This week's

picks

Carcass
Necroticism Descanting The
Insalubrious
by Matt Walsh
Eagle Eye Music Critic
I think I've been pretty diverse
in my picks this year. I've covered
just about every style in die hard
rock/metal field. All except one ...
Death metal.
I have always hated death metal,
but recendy it has progressed rapidly and many bands are starting
to get their talents recognized.

England's Earache records is
probably the number one record
label for death metal, widi bands
such as Napalm Death, Lawnmower Deth, Entombed, and Godflesh earning success in the underground music world. The next
death metal band to make it big
seems to be Carcass.
Carcass has always gone out of
their way to be entirely different.
Widi their sick, bizarre song titles
and lyrics you'd need a Ph.D or a
thesaurus to understand. Carcass
has slowed their style down a little
bit and added a Uttle bit of melody
on their latest opus Necroticism •
Descanting The Insalubrious,
which in plain English means
'The deaUi of Uving tissue - harmonizing with the unwholesome"
(thanks to Webster's).
As with their past albums. Carcass's lyrics are as gory and unQ^nslatable as ever. After many
grueUng hours reading the lyric

sheet. The only song I could comprehend was "Corporal Jigsore
Quandary," a song about a coroner putting togedier a mutilated
body like a jigsaw puzzle (yummy!). Just check out these lyrics:
"...Bi-manual reconstructiorv' eldritch problem complete/ a convened effigy/ a pathological toy/
each chunk rigorously/ inter mortis locking, as you pathogenically
rot...," and these are some of the
more tame lyrics!
Along with their talent for song
lyrics (however demented), the
band has progressed a lot musically. Ex-Napalm Deadi guitarist Bill
Steer has "steered" Carcass's
sound in the right direction (excuse the pun). The first single and
video is "Incarnated Solvent
Abuse," probably the most accessible track on the album (diat's not
saying much, though). Other
tracks include "Symposium Of
Sickness," "Pedigree Butchery,"

"Cameous Cacoffiny," and a favorite among WLHU metal D.J.'s
"Lavaging Expectorate Of Lysergide Composition."
As if the song tides and the lyrics
weren't enough. Carcass also
names their guitar solos. My favorites include "Firm, Meaty
Chunks," and "Viscous Residue
Snorting."
O.K., so the lyrics and tides are
probably a litde bit too much for
the average person (I feel sorry for
you if you're eating at Bentley
while reading this), but the fact remains that death metal is becoming a serious art form on the music
business, and Carcass is one of the
best. How can you not love a band
who have made songs like "Feast
On Dismembered Carnage," and
"Reek Of Putrification?" Even
though this week's review is
aimed more towards the thrash or
death metal fan, give this a listen,
you might be surprised.

in "How It's Gonna Be," a hilarious trip from the womb, to
school, to the job, to retirement in
Arizona, and to eternity in Hell.
The album's sarcasm reaches
it's highest point on "God's Kid
Brother." This is classic Milkmen: "Maybe there are two Gods,
a perfect God who made all those
perfect people and another God
who made the rest of us. And
maybe, just maybe, there's a heavenly choir diat sings off key."
Three other songs also capture
the energy and satiric paranoia of
vintage Dead Milkmen. "The
Conspiracy Song" tells us about
the same "they" who own the
CIA, the IRS, Elvis, Uie State, and
die Church, also pick the winners
on Star Search.
"If I Had A Gun" contemplates
multitudes of social realities, from
changing your brand of cigarettes
to seeing yourself "years later on
some crime show on TV."
"Here Comes Mr. X" deals with
the joys of garden-gnomestealing, gun-toting, obnoxiously
ignorant neighbors who invite
your kids to Aryan Youdi Camp.
Butterfly pleads, "Oh, Mohammed, prophet of Allah, run
him over with his own Impala."
Also, don't forget such great
tracks as "The Secret Of Life,"
"Silly Dreams," or "Wonderfully
Colored Plastic War Toys," when
you make any requests at you favorite campus radio station.
Soul Rotation is packed with
wonderful, silly things that strike
the heart of today. Maybe with
their new label, Hollywood
Records, The Dead Milkmen will
finally get the recognition they
deserve.

H a v e y o u lost
touch with

REALITY?
Then become a
cartoonist for the
Eagle Eye
The Eagle Eye is kxiking
for people to draw
edifoiial cartoons and
comic strips for next year's

paper
If you're inienestcd, c o n tact the F.a^le Eye at 2 3 3 4

or

cotne to otir staff meetings
at UOO p.m. on Tuesdays
and Thursdays in kussell
Hall basement
Draw for your
campus paper. It's
how Gary Trudeau
started!

Eagle Ej^

i^<§>mm(^mi}(§)!r^',

f

Dangerous study habits for dangerous minds
CONFESSIONS
OF A
DANGEROUS
MIND
Steven Infanti
As finals draw closer, I've begun to give serious consideration
to doing the work I was assigned
at the start of the semester. It's
even time to engage in that dreaded scholastic ritual known as studying. I thought it might help
some students if they could leam
some improper study habits from
die master.
The night before the final.
6 p.m. — I discover Uiat I have
a history final Friday morning at 8
a.m., and about 800 pages of reading to do on the rise and fall of
HiUer and the TTiird Reich.
6:15 p.m. — There's no way to
drop the course this late in the semester so I open up my notebook
to review my notes. There's nothing there but 20 pages of scribble
and two Bart Simpson cartoons. I

decide I should focus on the reading assignments instead.
6:30 p.m. — I discover I don't
own the textbook.
6:31 p.m. — I discover I don't
own any textbooks.
6:33 p.m. — Time to play Nintendo.
6:45 p.m. — I decide to go to
the Ubrary to read up on the subject.
7 p.m. — I get directions to the
campus library.
7:30 p.m. — The library ceiling
doesn't cave in when I enter the
building. That's a good sign. I
start wandering around aimlessly.
7:45 p.m. — A group of women
are checking me out and giggling.
7:46 p.m. — One of them tells
me my zipper is open.
7:47 p.m. — Back to more
scholarly pursuits.
8 p.m. — I find some books related to my history subject. The
don't offer any condensed versions so I scrap that idea. I decide
to scope instead.
8:10 p.m. — I find someone
worth scoping.
8:45 p.m. — My scope and I
meet and engage in a litUe witty
conversation.
8:50 p.m. — She tells me she
would go out with me when pigs
fly.
8:51 p.m. — I inquire of some

physics majors about just how
many feathers and how much glue
I would need to use in order to get
an average pig to fly.
8:58 p.m. — I decide to return

Have you studied for finais?
is running OUT!
to more scholarly pursuits.
9:01 p.m. — Why read a history
textbook when you can rent the
video?
9:30 p.m. — The clerk at die
video store tells me I'm the fourth
person to come in asking for a
video on the subject. He's sorry,
but every movie dealing with the

Worid War II and Hitler, including "Sex Lives of the Nazis" is
out.
9 :45 p.m. — I decide to use the
old beer-study method.
9:48 p.m. — I'm at
my favorite drinking
establishment enjoying a brew, when the
members
of
the
"Friends of Charlie
Manson" fan club
enter asking for donations. I flee the establishment
10:10 p.m.— I return home and discover that I can borrow the textbook
from a freshman
down the hall.
10:12 p.m. — I
open the book.
10:17 p.m. —
Time
Enough studying.
It's time to take a
break.
10:18 p.m. — The
new Playboy has arrived and I decide to take a quick peek.
11:10 p.m. — If the professor
asks me any questions about Candy Lovemore I'll be set.
11:15 p.m. — Back to my
scholarly pursuits.
11:16 p.m. — Time for a snack

break.
11:17 p.m. — I chug four Cokes
and eat two slices of cold pizza.
11:45 p.m. — I place second in
a belching contest with my neighbor.
12:02 a.m. — Back to my scholarly pursuits. I pick up the textbook and read another page.
12:05 a m . — My phone rings.
It's some girl giving me a revolting, disgusting, filthy, obscene
phone call.
1:35 a.m. — I hang up.
1:36 a.m. — I explore some alternative study methods.
1:38 a.m. — There's only $3.14
in my checking account and I
doubt I can bribe the professor
widi an I.O.U.
2:10 a.m. — Time to put that osmosis theory to the test Lights
OUL

3:01 a.m. — Lights on. Nobody
sleeps after drinking four Cokes.
I spend the rest of the night running back and forth to the bathroom. If the University had pay
urinals, they would make a fortune.
Friday morning.
8 a.m. — The exams are handed
out It's a 100 question multiple
choice test with an optional essay.
I guess ' C a lot and hope I get
some points for putting my name
onihepapCT.

Ahh... The sweet smell of roadkill in the Spring time
STRANGER
THAN
FICTION
Travis Prebble
It's Spring again. Finally. After probably the strangest winter
of the past decade. Spring has
sprung upon us, bringing widi it
feelings of rebirth and warmth.
The new life is evident in the soft
s{»ing grass, carpets of dandelions, leaves that whisper in the
breeze, and, most notably, roadkill.
Unfortunately, with the warm
weather come all the animals who
slept through the winter. But
where do they go? The highways!
Yes, lucky us, we get to play
football with all creatures great
and small. Dodge to the left,
dodge to the right, hit'em hit'em
in the middle of the night.
I bring diis subject up because I
have limited experience with animal dodging at 55 miles per hour.
Until recendy, I had only one encounter with an animaJ on the
road. The animal survived, but

we had to bury the mailbox diat I
hit instead. Recently, however,
animals seem to be attacking my
car! In a two week span, I have
been attacked by groundhogs,
squirrels, elks. Hare Krishnas,
people wanting to wash my windshield, and a couple of kids on bicycles shouting profanities at me.
I did manage to kill one squirrel
and seriously damage the kids.
Don't get me wrong; I didn't
mean to kill the squirrel (the kids,
yes, but not the squirrel). He just
sat there, terrified by the roar of
the beast approaching him. Kathunk, ka-thunk. Bye-bye squirrel.
I had tried swerving to the left,
but he went the same way. It was
kind of like we were walking opposite ways through a doorway
and couldn't figure out who was
supposed to go first. Of course,
it's kind of hard to say, "Excuse
me," after you smash somebody's
head under a car tire.
Apparently, somebody needs io
teach the animals to look both
ways before crossing the road.
Why do diey wait until a car
comes along to run into the middle of the road? I've muddled
over diese questions for days on
end and here is what I came up
with:
1. Dares - Evidence shows that
animals are stupid too. Parents in
the animal world can't say, "If

your friends jumped off a bridge,
would you?" because they know
that their children would do it.
"Deadi befOTe dishonor," bellowed Betty Bunny before barreling into a Michelin radial.
2. Frat initiations - And you
thought hazing was bad. "Fred,"
the brother cow stated, "you must

^Roadkill has
I a ton of
'clothing
possibilities,
I and it's easy to
clean too."
prove yourself to MMM before
you will be accepted as one of us.
You must drug the sheepdog, steal
a baby sheep from AAA, and push
it onto a highway." People, it
may be time to put an end to agricultural colleges.
3. Depression - Animals need
counseling. They are obviously in
a pretty dejected state of mind if
their chosen form of suicide is

running in front of a car, being space in landfills. You can't very
smash^ by two tons of metal, well recycle dead animals, anycigarette butts, and middle Ameri- way.
There are practical purposes for
cans, and being left to rot in die
sun where dieir carcasses will be roadkill that many people oversubject to repeated smashings and look. Right now, the use of real
various forms of sickening sexual fur is a big stink in the fashion
world. Well, use the fur of roadacts.
4. Attention - Perhaps they just kill and the controversy will die
want to be reprimanded. Psychol- down. It will still be a big stink,
ogists say diat children actually but at least it will be ethical.
prefer parents to set boundaries. Roadkill is perfect for warming
Parents of small animals, talk to the hands in Winter. Simply reyour kids about highways. Not move the teeth and stick a hand in
saying anything is like giving each end. You could also string
them permission. Just Say No to some roadkill togedier and wear
them around your neck to keep it
pavement
5. Substance abuse - BeUeve it warm in the cold winds. If nothor not animals do drugs. Dealers ing else, you'll be able to say,
who grow their own marijuana in "I'm not going to pay a lot for this
the forests don't realize that ani- muffler." Roadkdl has a ton of
mals are Uterally eating half their clothing possibilities, and it's
profits. If you've never seen a easy to clean, as well. Simply
raccoon get stoned... Well, tune wash and rinse; then, to dry, take
into Wild Kingdom; it's bound to it out onto the driveway and back
be on there. Watch for the ani- the car over it a few times. In no
mals smoking joints after some time at all, it will look as good as
new.
passionate elephant mating.
Hqjefully, the world will come
Obviously, these are not all die
reasons for entry into the roadkill to realize the potential of roadkill,
arena, but let's not forget the good but until then, let's try to keep the
points about roadkill. Roadkill ac- animals from running in front of
counts for almost 75 percent of my car. I don't think the radiator
the venison consumed by Pennsyl- can take much more fur. Stop the
vania hunters. Why use a gun? madness; just say no to pavement
Just tum on the headlights and
By the way, to the parents of the
mn'erdown. Roadkill decompos- kids that I hit, sorry about the
es, meaning that it won't take up damage to the bikes.

Bravard the politician makes a 'clean sweep'
Library Director goes into local politics part time, fights against dike-levee project
Healdi Systems Agency (CPHSA) Board of
Directors, eventuallyrisingto become president. "It gave me a feel for working widi
various government agencies," he said of
histimewith the Board.
Robert Bravard sat comfortably in his ofAs the dike-levee conbtivers)^ came to the
fice as he dealt with the numerous affairs of
fore last year, Bravard sided widi a majority
die litnary as they come bef(H« him. Heapof Lock Haven residents in diinking diat
pears eminently comfortable with his role
this scheme — which would destiwy much
as Director of Library Services — Stevenriverside property, as well as the scenic
son Library's chief executive. It's arolehe
beauty of dieriver— was bad for die town.
has fulfilled for nearly 22 years, and as he
He said he was finally prodded to act
says, "I'm not tired of the job yet"
when "A couple of elderly women apAnyone who has spent much time in the
proached me and told me I really ought to
library will probably oe familiar with Bravbecome a candidate." He joined an emergard in this role. However, students who've
ing political group, known as 'Clean
beenreadingthe Lock Haven Express and
Sweep,' which was formed to fight the
keeping track widi events in town will have
flood protection scheme.
realized that there's more to die man than
The organization was called Clean Sweqi
just library w(»k. "All my adult life I've
simply because dieir intention was to make
had a fascination with history, and its assoa clean sweep of the seats in the election,
ciated partner, politics," he said, explaining
said Bravard. He described it as a grasshis newfound mvolvement with the Lock
roots, bipartisan refwm movement
Haven political scene.
"We submerged our political differences,'
This mvolvement took on a new dimen- Bob Bravard: Library Director and
said Bravard, explaining Uiat while he was
sion last November, when Bravard and City Councilman in his spare time.
a lifelong Democrat, die odier Uiree Clean
three odiers, all members of the Clean (photo by Dougie Bicket).
Sweep candidates are Republk;ans.
Swe^ anti-dike-levee coalition, secured a
From the start, the organization had close
majonty of seats in die city council, precipi- to put my moudi where my pen was."
since moving to Lock Haven in 1963 — links to the University, counting among its
tating a bitter struggle toridthe town of the
unpf^xilar flood protection scheme. A to assume his first position at die Universi- ranks Dr. Edward Chatterton, Dr. Lynn J.
loM-time letter writer and a political ani- ty — Bravard has taken a keen interest in Lytic, Malcolm P. Myers and odiers. Dr.
malat heart, Bravard felt literally swept up local affairs. Over die years, he said, diis Lawrence T. Farley also played an imporin the wave of oroosition to die {Hoject, a interest developed into a desire to serve the tant role as the group's political consultant.
However, the group's members were dewave which resulted in his successfid can- local community.
didacy for city councitaian. "I'd been
Bravard is no stranger to the political termined not to associate themselves too
around die edges of die fight for long scene, however. In 1978 he was appointed closely widi LHU. "The opposition tried to
enough, and thought diat maybe it was time to serve on the Central Pennsylvania present us as an elitist group of pec^le,"
by Dougie Bicket
Eagle Eye Features Editor

YouTl never see
prices this
lowag^

r

said Bravard. However, he insists diat "we
nevCT diought of ourselves as a University
contingent.
Bravard admits that he found the evoyday necessities of electioneering uncomfortable. "Asking strangers to vote for me
was difficult," he explained.
He was also surprised at die sb-engdi of
support in Lock Haven for dieir campaign.
Perhaps die most stiiking demonstiration of
diis was when die group released promotional orange posters diree weeks before
die election. The organization was inundated with requests from townspeople to
place die posters in their front gardens and
house windows.
"Suddenly, Lock Haven was wange,"
said Bravard. At diat point, he said, diey
all had the feeUng that they could win. This
feeling was brane out on November 5,
when the municipal elections gave the antidike-levee group an absolute majority, both
in terms of votes and in seats on the council. "Roughly 60 percent of all die votes
cast wereforClean Sweep candidates."
Despite diis clear mandate from die voters, Bravard acknowledges that the Council
is powerless to halt construction of the
dike-levee on its own. The decisions conceming die project have already been made
and are probably irreversible. What we're
trying to do is influence the people who
can stop it," he said. "If die dike-levee
comes to pass, we'll live widi it ... If we
can stop it, we will."
As for die future, Bravard die councilman hopes to help make some small improvement in the way diings are done in
die council.
"I want to see die people of Lock Haven
involved widi their government in a positive way," he said. "I don't expect to leave
a great mark on it, but I hope to see some
modest improvements."

WARNING:
The outdoor stairway at the side
of the PUB expansion will be
temporarily closed due to
parking lot construction.

This notice is
effective immediately.
In the interest of student safety,
please use caution and avoid
using the stairs.

You can be ticketed for being
on the construction site.
:^

JOSTTENS

^

Date: ^ ^ t ^ t^^J^T,
^

/ff^

Time:

/^'^,

» V W t N T PLANS A V M A & I

See
See your
your Jostens
Jostens representative
representative for
for details.
details. Some restrictions may apply
No other promotions may be used on these styles

f

Camp
Sussex

Enjoy a helpful and
rewarding summer at Camp
Sussex which is located in the beautiful mountains of northem New
Jersey and is about one hoiu* from
New York City. We need M/F
counselors. Head
pioneering, social worker, LPN/RN/

Student Nurse, Jewish Cultural
program. Salaries are attractive!
Please call for more information or write to Camp Sussex 33 Blatherwick Dr.
S-irlin, N J . 08009 Phone (609) 753-9265 c r {713)261-8700

Friday, April 24,1992 Eagle Eye 11

CLASSIFIEDS
CLUB/GROUP NEWS

CAREER SERVICES

The last meeting of the Rape Task Force will be
Tuesday, April 28 at 6 pm in 129 RLC. Executive elections will be held at this meeting, so if
your want a position or just want to vote, it is
important to attend.

Summer and Fall positions now available for
Joumahsm/PR majors. The office of Public Relations and Publications is currently accepting
applications for summer and fall writers. Students must have completed News Writing or
have practical experience. Campus employment
aixl work study positions available. Apply at the
University Advancement Office, Room 126,
Akeley Hall.

B.K. Thank you for making me smile even when
I didn't want to. You're a great big brother. D.S.

United States Air Force will have an information
table in Bentley Hall lobby on April 24, from
lOajn. to 2pjn.

Keep on striving £K pledges, you're getting
closer. Love, the Sisters

FOR SALE
5 ACRES NEAR WOOLRICH FOR SALE! in
Pine Ridge Development. Jersey Shore School
District. $22,000 Call 398-7807.
Single loft for sale. Call Krisu at 3462 or 3497.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
The senior bar crawl is being planned!! It is
scheduled for Friday May 8th following Graduation rehearsal. Question?? Ccmtact Stei^ at
748-8812.
Enjoy a day in Washington, D.C. on Saturday,
May 16th! Go to the monuments, the Smithsonian ~ or for trekkies, see the Star Trek exhibit at
the Air and Space Museum. Also see the First
Ladies exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. Cost is $38 and we will leave Lock Haven at
5 a.m. Call 748-2486 for reservations. Sponsored by Lock Haven Parents for Bishop Neumann.
Attention anyone interested in Marching Band
thae will be an organizational meeting on April
27 at 8 p.m. in the band room. Those who were
members last year and anyone interested is welcomed to attend the meeting. Uniform fittings
will also take place on this date. Please call 893BAND with questions.
The annual TAKE BACK THE NIGHT march
will be held on Thursday, April 30 at 7:30 p.m.
The meeting place is Russel Lawn. T-shirts will
be sold in Bentley all next wedc. Come celebrate survival from sexual violence. Marchers
are needed. Call Roni for more information at
3832. For more info call Roni at 3832 or the
Women's C'mter.
Faculty and staff Open House on April 23, from
11 to 2 at the Newman Center, 445 W. Main St.
Attention all LHU band members, including
Symphonic, Concert, Jazz/Rock, and all Ensembles. The sisters of Tau Beta Sigma are sponsoring a FREE finals breakfast for you in Mac and
Smith lobbies May 2,4 ,5, 6, and 7 between 7:30
and 9 a.m. All band members are encoiuaged to
stop by and sample ihe FREE juice and doughnuts.
ATTENTION GRADUATES!! Caps, Gowns
and Announcements are available in the book
store. Avoid the rush and get yours today.
Heading for EUROPE diis summer? Jet there
anytime for only $169 with AIRHITCH! Also,
super low round trip fares to West coast. AIRHITCH 893-6000.
Mr. Jim Hamilton's advisees will be working
with Dr. Cierpilowski. Please schedule preregisCation appointments by signing the appointment
form on the door outside of RLC 216.
FOR RENT
Apartment - 2 bedrooms, near campus, off street
parting, heat and water included in the rent. Call
748-5649
Rooms to rent for summer school, both 1st and
2nd session. $150 montl.''or everything. Located on Church SL very clc ' to campus. If interested call Jeff at 748-2443.
HOUSEMATES NEEDED for a house close to
campus with low-cost rent but in good condition.
We will live coed if necessary. Contact Michelle at #3163 or Dawn at #3154.

SUMMER CAMP JOBS: general counselors,
lifeguards, kitchen help, maintenance. Camp is
located near Bloomsburg, PA. Sponsored by the
Penn's Woods Girl Scout Council. Call (717)
759-8236, EEO/AA employer.
CRUISE JOBS— Cruise Lines now hiring. Earn
$2,000+ per month working on cruise ships.
World Travel! Holiday, Summer and Full- time
employment available. For Employment Program call 1-206-545-4155 ext. C 577
ATTENTION: Male or female individual willing to work Saturdays to assist photographer for
wedding and special events. Experience not necessary but helpful- We will train. Must be dependable. For more info: Please call MazzuUa
Studio photography at 748-4507
PERSONALS
ADOPTION. We are a warm, loving, professional couple looking for a baby to love and
cherish. We can offer your baby endless love
and devotion, strong family life/values, quality
education, a secure fiiture, (and a full-time
mom). We know this is a difficult decision for
you, and we will help in any way we can. We
are easy to talk with. Completely legal and con*
fidential. Allowable expenses paid. Please call
Nancy coUect anytime at (919)942-9666.
Congratulations to the Tae Kwon Do club for an
outstxmding performance at Saturday's tournament! The Sisters of Zeta Tau Alpha.
T.T.T., Congratulations, sweetheart! Lori

could do it Love the Sisters of ACT

Kqjpa DelUi Rho, Thanks for the great mixer!
Love, the Sisters of Sigma Kappa
Hey Easter Bunny, thanks for the Easter basket
Usually / give little girls cardy.
Love. THGFNY

WANTED: Sexy, male to coach the cheerleading squad for 1992. Requirements: must be
blond, muscular and have little sense of humor.
Bob C. Next time take your clothes off when
you shower in the bed.
To my awesome secretary Tracy May!! Thanks

Ms. Virginia Martin presents

Ryan
Ritter

«

for keeping track of my life for me and helping
me with all my problems. Love, Sue
TOP 5 REASONS FOR LAW ENFORCEMENT SURVEY
1. So students know they do more than eat
doughnuts
2. Took time away from giving parking tickets
to print questionnaires
3. Tired of riding around in a $30,000 vehicle
4. Need a break from the "great disappearing
napkin-dispenser" case.
5. If the metropolis of Kutztown can have a
survey, so can Lock Haven.

see mmm
SATURDAY & SUNDAY
only

Thomas
Arthur Yost

7P.1II.

iN

"AS IS"

9 P.M.

by Wiiiiom Hoffnxjn

See you there!
FREE W/VALID LHU 1.0.
...and doni miss

APRIL 24 & 25
Sloan Mainstage
8 p.m. nightly

STIIBINT

FREEAPMISSIQN

TAIiElVT

If you only see one play
this semester,
malce it 'As Is.'
You'll b e glad you did....

SHOW

Produced by special arrangement with
Dramatist Ploy Services. Inc.

THE

8 P JH. in Sloam Amlitoriiim
MoHday, April 87
FREE w/ valM l.d.-o«hers $9
Sponsored by the S.C.C. Social CommlHee

MICHELLE K. Here is you personal from me,
your roommate: Hi.
Looking for summer work? $8.50 to start, gain
resume experience. Scholarships awarded. Apply now begin after finals. Call 522-0430 immediately.
Leah, Sony about Saturday night, I'll make it up
to you somehow. -Russ
Marsha, Don't take any more quarters. You're
mom won't like all those phone calls.
Laura, Ree, Heather, and Kate, There will be
tears before bedtime! Mark my words! Who
loves you? You do, Shana
Practice random acts with condoms.
Shana, Kate and Ree- Who loves you? We do!
Laura and Heather
Happy Birthday to MICHELLE, Leah and Toni,
Love Your Sisters
I had the greatest drejun last night. I was with
Mrphil in a huge mansion, surrounded by 135
empmty beer cans, a radioactive DJ talking
about politics, dolphins, and abortoion. There
were men in skirts there and furmy talking women who didn't know geography and I think there
was a woman strapped to the hood of a car. I
wish I could return but like any alien abduction I
couldn't remember the flight back.
Congratulations A I T neophytes, we knew you

Students+Faculty
D i d y o u k n o w that you're
eligible for big discounts on software?
Afterdarl<
S22
Aldus Pagemal Microsoft Excel
$145

Microsoft Word 5.0 $95
SuperPaint
$75

Call Rusty Clementoni for prices and order
information 717-326-4996 or 800-488-4877.
College students, faculty and administration
nnlv Proof rp,quired.
Come see the new Apple* Macintosii* Powerbook" portable
computer at the booicstore, Wednesdays llam-lpm. Macintosh
power with notebook convenience and all-hi-one design!

Authorized
Education Sales Consultant

COMPUTER

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COMPUTEH CENTEHS

Apple, Madnlosh, Mac and III* Apple logo are ragislered tradcmarka of Apple Conuutar Inc. Powart>ook I* a trademark ol Apple
Computer Inc. Classic Is a registered trademark lloansad to Apple Computer Inc. MacFest Is a registered aeivlos mark ol Apple
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•--

SPeRTS

12 EagieEye Friday. April24,1992

DON'T BE LEFT OUT OF
LOCK HAVEN'S NEWEST
STUDENT C O M M U N I T Y
Reserve today!
Reseivotions placed today will auarantee
occupancy for Fall 1992
CALL US TOLL FREE AT 1 -800-326-9947

$900.00 per person per semester based on
double occupancy
$ 1,700.00 per semester based on
single occupancy
ONE BEDROOM APARTMENTS: $900.00 per person per semester based on
EFFICIENCY APARTMENTS:
(1-2 people; furnished)

(2-3 people: furnished; living)
room furniture not Included)

triple o c c u p a n c y

ONLY $350.QQ PEPQSIT REQUIREP
TO HOLD THE APARTMENT
($200.00 refundable security deposit and
$ 150.00 applied toward first semester rental)

Only $100.00 more than a dorm room buys you the BEST!
PRIVATE BATHROOM WITH TWO SINKS * STOVE & FRIG IN EACH APARTMENT '
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ROOMMATE * CARPETING IN ALL APARTMENTS * MODERN
LIVING ENVIRONMENT ' BEDS, DRESSERS, DESKS, KITCHEN TABLES & CHAIRS FURNISHED • LARGE WALK-IN CLOSETS * INDEPENDENTLY-CONTROLLED THERMOSTATS • QUICK RECOVERY WATER TANKS ' CENTRAL LAUNDRY FACILITIES '
DOUBLE LOCKS ON ENTRANCE DOORS & LOCKING WINDOWS * FIRE PROTECTION DEVICES & EXTINGUISHERS IN EACH APARTMENT ' AMPLE RESIDENT PARKING & INDIVIDUAL ASSIGNED SPACES ' CLOSE TO CAMPUS & SHOPPING AREAS
• OUTDOOR RECREATION PLAZA ' HANDICAPPED UNITS AVAILABLE ' ACOUSTICALLY TREATED WALLS, CEILINGS & FLOORS FOR SOUND CONTROL ' RETAIL
STORES FOR STUDENT CONVENIENCE/LOUNGE AREA TO BE ADDED IN 1993
ALL leases will include the following clause:
The residential unit that is to be occupied by the tenant is currently under consuuction. Landlord guaisntees that the unit will be completed so that it can be occupied prior to the start of classes at Lock Haven
University in August of 1992. In the event that the unit is not completed, landlord will secure suiuble or
equal housing for the tenant or Ihe landlord will return all money paid by the tentnt. The tenant will be
the sole interpreter for "suitable or equal housing" condition which must also be provided at a cost not to
exceed the prices suted in the lease document. Tenants wUl reuin the sole right to relocate to Campus
Village when the unit is complete.

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MAIL COMPLETEO APPUCATION AND DEPOSIT TO ALBARANO E>rnJU>RISES. INC.,
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AppUcam acknowledsB that Uic acceplanca ol thb ipfiticalioii ind'ot ifposil i for proccaifK ofiK a-.d docs not a a t c an ;olis>lioi: on tl'K part ol
-A»irTOftl«n«.Jr4.A«WLiatQ.l.te9UaP5!5^inS'»»!>»

Golf drops three straight
by Greg Cetti
Eagle Eye Sports Reporter
The golf team has had a tough road as of
late, flnishing near the bottom half of the
bracket in each away event including the
last three (Susquehanna, East Stroudsburg
and at home).
Last Thursday they were at Clinton
County Golf Club for the Lock Haven Invitational, their only home match of the year.
Other teams invited to the event were
Bucknell, Dickinson, East Stroudsburg, Juniata, Lycoming, Millersville, Shippensburg, and West Chester.
Scores were tight up for the teams at the
top, but for the Haven, they finished 8th out
of 9 with a team score of 367, above Juniata, who finished with a 399.
For the Eagles Mike Kendall shot an 81,
Ron Vener had a 94, Kyle Cashen scored a
95, while Ryan Eby and Jim Turner both
shot a 97.
Finishing first in the event was Bucknell,
with a team score of 321, followed by West
Chester, scoring a 323. Shippensburg came
in third place as they had a combined team
score of 324.
With the Juniata match last Friday canceled, the Haven traveled to the Susquehanna University Invitational on Monday, to

face a fifteen team field.
The Haven had a combined team score of
479, which didn't fare too well as they
placed last.
Again Mike Kendall led the way with an
89, followed by Vener with his 91. Turner
followed with a 99, and Cashen shot a 100.
Finally, Vince Inzerillo came away with a
106.
In the top spots at this event were Susquehanna with a 383, followed by Binghamton with a 389, and in third place Elizabeth with a 396.
The following day the team traveled to
East Stroudsburg for the East Stroudsburg
Invitational. With nine teams showing up,
the Haven placed eighth with a team score
of 362.
Top scores for the Eagles were Inzerillo
with an 86, Kendall with an 88, Cashen and
Heather Kappesser shot a 95, and Turner
shot a 97.
Commenting on the team's performance,
head coach Bob Weller commented, "The
kids are doing the best they can, they're just
having a bad spring, and can't put it together teamwise."
The Haven has one event remaining on
their agenda, the PSAC Championships at
Dubois, which will be held from April 2628.

Volleyball ends season at Clarion
by Bryan Kolenski
Eagle Eye Sports Reporter
The women's volleyball team ended their
season on Saturday, April 11, after taking
part in the Clarion Tournament.
The tournament consisted of five teams;
Lock Haven, Clarion, Allegheny College, a
club team called the Pittsburgh Golden Triangles, and a composite team made up of
coaches from all the other teams in the tournament.
The Lady Eagles lost all three games
against the Pittsburgh Golden Triangles,
15-11, 15-8, 15-8. Brenda McKimm had
the highest percentage of kills for the
Haven. She was set four times and made
three kills. Head coach Tom Justice felt she
did a good job, but felt "we needed to set
her more".
Other strong performances were by Michelle Witt, Amy Shannon, and Crissy Bierly. Justice was really pleased with Bierly's
performance. "She is showing much improvement in her abiUty to hit the ball because she is starting to place the ball, instead of killing it."
"When we played Clarion we hit our
stride, we were really playing well," saidcoach Justice. In the Clarion Tournament
each game was given a certain time limit,
which wasn't the case in the other season
games the team played.
The Lady Eagles won their first game 1614 but dn^ped the match to Clarion 10-8.

In the Clarion match up Golden had two
stuff blocks for points, McKimm with two
kills and one stuff block, Witt had a big
showing with three kills and two aces, and
Bierly came up with two kills and one ace.
The Lady Eagles weren't as fortunate
against the composite team and Allegheny
College, they were unable to take a win
from either team.
"We are meeting a lot of our objectives,
even when we are not putting the points on
the board," said Justice. "Our objectives
are to leam how to play the game and to become competitive."
Since this year is the first for the women's volleyball team. Justice is hoping to recruit some new players. The team will continue working hard off season and he is
hoping the Haven will be a strong competitor next season.

SP©RTS

Friday, April 24,1992 EagieEye 13

Kovach named PSAC -West Player of the Week

Softball blanks Clarion in rain-shortened contest

by Kevin Kovac
Eagle Eye Sports Reporter
The softbaU team played only one game
in the past week, but they made it count: on
Tuesday afternoon, they won a rainshortened contest at Clarion University, 70.
The blanking of Clarion, the team's fifth
shutout victory of the season, brought a
smile to the face of head coach Kim Lindsey. It was, after all, one of the squad's
best performances of 1992.
The only disaj^inting part of the Eagles'
trip to Clarion, Lindsey said, was the fact
that the weather stopped the women's
building momentum.
After they captured the first game, their
dreams of a doubleheader sweep were ended by the relentless showers that ended the
first game after six innings and canceled the
second altogether
Nevertheless, the lone triumph guaranteed the women an undefeated week of softball. Of course, they only played one game,
their scheduled doubleheader against Indiana University of Pennsylvania on Saturday
was canceled, but a loss-free week is noteworthy, no matter how you look at it.

Following the Clarion victory, the Ea- gle attack consisted of seven hits.
town State on April 12 and California Unigles's record stood at 15-10, not as good as
The hottest hitter on Lindsey's team en- versity of Pennsylvania on April 14.
Lindsey had anticipated it would be at this tering the game, Theresa Kovach, did not
During the four game stretch, Kovach
point but certainly not unacceptable.
continue her tear against Clarion. But no batted a searing .643. She was 9-for-14,
The women are 2-1 in Pennsylvania State matter: Kovach's one down day was scored three runs and had one RBI.
Athletic Association Western Division dwarfed by her last four.
The Lady Eagles' next scheduled doublecompetition, which places them in a prime
Kovach, a senior third baseman currently header is a road matchup Saturday afterposition to make a late-season run at the batting at a .373 clip (second on the team), noon at 1 p.m. against PSAC-West rival
conference title.
was named the PSAC-West Player of the Slipper Rock University. Dates for the sevA championship is a defmite possibility Week for her performances against Kutz- eral rained out doubleheaders are pending.
for the women if their number one pitcher,
Linda Polk, continues to dominate games
like she did Tuesday against Clarion. Polk,
who improved her record to 8-3 with a 1.33
eamed run average, hurled her fourth shutout of the season.
In her six innings of woik, Polk allowed
just one hit and walked two Clarion baaers.
She struck out seven, which left her with 40
K's on the season.
There were other players in Tuesday's
contest that left a good impression on Lindsey.
Among them was the team's leading hitter Jenn Huntzinger (.400 batting average),
who was 2-for-3 with two doubles at Clarion.
Also doing damage against Clarion was
Jess Brandt, a .342 hitter who was 2-for-3 A Bald Eagle first basemen attempts to place the tag on a diving Clarion runner (Photo by
with four RBIs in the game. In all, the Ea- Travis Prebble)

Taylor recognized with award
The Women's Sports Foundation (WSF)
announced the 1992 recipients of the Budget Coaches Awards, presented by the
Coaches Adviswy Roundtable (CAR) and
sponsored by Budget Rent a Car.
One of the four recipients was the Bald
Eagle's own Sharon Taylor, currendy the
head coach of the Lady Eagle field hockey
team and Director of Athletics.
The foundation established the Coaches
Awards in 1987 to recognize the "unsung
heroine" who coaches on the grassroots level.
It is open to any female coach who does

(to Scotland)
and the staff of the Eagle
Eye is searching for a new
companion for our remaining comic, Nuketown. Interested artists should leave
a sample at our o0ice in the
basement of RusseU Hail>
Room 1$» before May 1st.

not coach a national, professional, or
NCAA Division I or 11 team. Collegiate
and amateur sports organizations submit
nominations.
The Coaches Advisory Roundtable, made
up of leaders from national sports, youth
and coaching organization, chooses the final winners from the nominees.
Taylor has coached women's field hockey at the Haven since 1972, compiling a
244-76-25 record. Taylor's teams have
competed in four national championship
games.
They won the AIAW Division II tide in
1981, NCAA Division II tide in 1982 and
the NCAA Division III tide in 1989.
In addition, she has been director of athletics, leading the men's and women's programs since 1988.
Taylor is also an assistant professor of
physical education in the College of Education and Human Services. She has been a
member of the Board of Directors of the
United States Olympic Committee since
1987.
She has also served on the Executive
Committee of the US Field Hockey Association, as president of the Eastern College
Athletic Conference, president of the College Field Hockey Coaches Association and
held many other leadership posts in sports.

Bald Eagle Intramurals

Cross country run to end semester
by Theresa Gomes
Special to the Eagle Eye

Congratulations to AXA-A for winning
the intramural water polo playoffs. They
were undefeated through the entire season.
Team members were Schreffler, Sarbak,
Kimmel, Barley, J and S Tilford, and Pepper.
Floor Hockey fmals ended this week.
The two teams in the finals were the Who
and AXA-A. The winner will be announced next week.
Soccer winners for the week include
AXP-A, NHA, and TKE-A. Games will
continue into next week.
Softball winners include Crunch and
Munch, Stingers, and the Cave. Final
games begin this week and winners will be
announced next week.
The intramural department will be holding their last event of the semester, the
cross country run, on Thursday, April 30,
at 4 p.m.
Rosters are due on Wednesdav, Aoril 29.
before 2 p.m. in Zimmerli 114. It is an individual for teams of five.
Runners should meet at the soccer field
by 4 p.m., rain or shine. Come out and enjoy the last event of the semester.

14 Eagle Eye Friday, April 24, 1992

SPeRTS

Lacrosse drops close match to Frostburg State
by Greg Cetti
Eagle Eye Sports Reporter

While riding a two game winning streak,
the lacrosse team had a tough assignment as
they had to face an undefeated Frostburg
State University. The non-conference game
was played on Tuesday in the dismal and
relentless rain here at the Haven.
The Lady Eagles were able to hang tough
throughout most of the game, but eventually they would succumb to Frostburg, losing
9-7..

at the 22:32 mark. Thirteen seconds after
that, Kipp completed her hat trick when she
tied up the scwe at six.
The score remained deadlocked undl the
with 8:30 left, Curcio scored her second to
give the Lady Eagles a 7-6 lead.
The lead didn't hold however as Frostburg scored with 5:43 left in the game.
Defense would be the key for both squads
for the remainder of the game. The next
goal would decide the victor.

It wasn't us.
At the 3:59 mark, FSU scored, which was
the backbreaker for the Eagles. The Haven
still had time to score, but they couldn't
To add insult to injury, Frostburg scored another with one second to go in the game.

mains undefeated at 13-0.
Today the Eagles travel to Glassboro
State College for another non-conference
batUe. Sunday afternoon they will try to
"be all they can be" as they batUe with die
U.S. Military Academy (Army).

Shots in the game were 23-21 in favor of
Frostburg State, with Eagle gocdie Amy
Yorks blocking 12 shots.

They close out the regular season at home
against division rival West Chester on
Tuesday.

The loss moves their record down to 2-5,
(1-3 in die PSAC-West) while Frostburg re-

To start off, Christine Curcio scored at
the 23:33 mark to give the Eagles a 1-0
lead. Frostburg answered right back nearly
a half a minute later.
Elizabeth Heit sctxeA after a setup irom
Denise Pileggi at the 21:46 mark, but Frostburg knotted it up again with a score at
18:45.
FSU took the lead with a tally at 14:10,
but Deidre Kipp scored the first of three for
herself two minutes later, tying up the score
at three apiece.
Things tumed sour toward the end of the
first half for the Lady Eagles as Frostburg
scored with a little less than six minutes to
go, and again with 2:47 left, to take a 5-3
lead. This concluded what was a very wet
half.
It looked to get would even worse when
the Lady Eagles gave up a goal twelve seconds into the second half, which put them
down by three. After that, the Lady Eagles
poured on die offense.
Kipp scoteA her second goal one minutp
latCT, followed by a score by Tracy Rivera

Halfback Jen Uiw {42Z wiUi ball) goes head to head with the Frostburg Slate keeper while Midfielder Eileen McCoy (#30) backs her up.
The Haven dropped the match 9-7 (Photo by Shawn Liddick)

Ken Cox named ECBA All-Star coach

ECBA names DeMilio, Machamer to All-Star team
by Dusty Durand
Eagle Eye Sports Reporter

Star journey to Jamaica. The last time was
with the team diat included Bald Eagles
Doug Pavone, Brad Klein, Manny Rose,
and Dewayne Bryant

The Eastern Collegiate Boxing Association (ECBA) has just announced die selection of two Bald Eagle boxing AilAmericans to the ten member ECBA AllStar team that will box two college All-Star
teams in Jamaica.
Dave Machamer, a two-time 119-pound
national champion and Dan DeMilio, die
1992 139-pound NCBA silver medalist
were selected, according to George Miller,
the All-Star team's manager from Central
Connecdcut State University.
Miller said that the team will depart irom
New York City on May 21 and will return
to die United States on may 30. They will
box at the indoor Sports Palace in Kingston,
Jamaica on May 23, train in Negril and box
once again in Montego Bay on May 28.
This trip will be Machamer's second All-

This will be DeMilio's first international
competition.
Bryant, a two-time AllAmerican and 1992 team captain, was selected as an alternate but will not be making
the trip. Bryant boxed in Barbados two
years ago as well as the team's initial trip to
Jamaica.
"Machamer and DeMilio are two of the
country's finest collegiate boxers. Their selections will definitely make the team a lot
stronger," said Bryant.
DeMilio stated, "I'm really looking forward to this trip. It will be a great experience and a chance to see anodier culture.
This will almost be like a graduation gift."
Head coach Ken Cox has once again been
named die ECBA All-Star head coach. Cox
has taken teams to die former Soviet Union

(1988), Jamaica (1989) and Barbados
(1990).
Cox reiterated DeMilio's feelings by saying, 'These international trips are a great
opportunity for the young men. The experience is something that they'll never fwget.
The trip will not only make diem better
boxers, but better men."
Trips to foreign nations have become a
recent Lock Haven/ECBA tradiuon, dating
back to Bald Eagle All-American Steve
Greber's 1985 trip to Brunei, East Asia.
For diose students looking for a study
break during finals, the 1992 National
Championships will be televised by Mizlou
Sports via delayed broadcast the first week
in May.
On a side note, former Bald Eagle National Champion, Manny Rose, competed in the
Pennsylvania Golden Gloves semi-finals
last Wednesday. Rose is the central Pennsylvania champion and will meet die east-

em Pennsylvania regional champion, from
Philadelphia, for a shot at the state finals.
Rose is currendy ranked number eight in
the amateur ranking and would qualify for
the Olympic trials if they began today.

Friday. Ajml 24.1992 EagU Eye 15

SPeRTS

Baseball splits double header against Clarion
by Robert Heller
Eagle Eye Sports Reporter
The baseball team continues their reign of
terror as die top team in die Pennsylvania
State Adiletic Conference's Western
(PSAC-West) division, moving their record
to 7-3 after sphtdng a double header widi
California on Monday, April 20.
The Haven won die first game, 1-0, behind die golden arm of Greg Strouse.
Strouse pitched six scoreless innings scattering five hits and striking out two.
Brett Stehr picked up die save by shutting
down die Vulcans in the seventh.
It was a pitching duel the entire time as
the Eagles did not score their mn unUl the
top half of the seventh when Sparky
O'Brien singled home Dan Wiggins for die
game winner.
The visiting Eagles were over matched in

the night cap as California used an eight run
forth inning to lock up a 19-9 victory.
This game was a far cry from the first one
as each team got on die board early and often. At the end of one it was California five
and die Haven three.
After two it was 9-3 the Vulcans.
The Bald Eagles closed the gap to 9-7 in
die fourth, but Cahfomia shut die door with
the big inning.
Wiggins led the offensive charge for the
Eagles going 3-4 widi 2 RBI and a run
scored. Kevin Smidi went 3-4 widi a run
scored while Bryan Wenner went 2-4 with a
homemn.
Much of die Haven's success can be attributed to hitting the ball and scoring runs.
The Bald Eagles have scored 122 runs in 13
games and are tied fw fifth in die conference in team batting average at .324.
Individually, Bob Miller leads die conference in hitting at .500. Miller is 22-44 in

13 games this season. Miller is also eighdi
in runs scored widi 14, an av^age of 1.08
per game.
K. Smidi leads the conference in runs batted in (RBIs) widi 21, (1.62 per game). He
is also batting .385, which is good enough
for 23 in die PSAC. K. Smidi is second in
runs scored widi 18 (1.38 a game).
Wiggins is number nine in the conference
in RBIs widi 13 (one per game) and number
30 in batting average at .355. Wiggins is
also fifdi in die league in doubles widi five,
(.385 per game), and tied widi K. Smidi for
second in mns scored at 18.
Aaron Tiracorda leads die league in doubles hitting six in just 13 games fcr an average of .460 a game.
The Haven played Indiana University of
Pennsylvania away on Thursday and arrived home too late for results to be published.
They are on the road, traveling to Clarion

today and Edinboro tomorrow.
The Eagles wUl return home Sunday to
play California. The Haven will play right
down the road in Mill Hall, so come out
and support them.

Tennis drops two matches to PSAC opponents
by Kevin Kovac
Eagle Eye Sports Reporter
The men's tennis team was shut out by
Kutztown University Wednesday afternoon,
a result which didn't please die squad's
head coach one bit.
"I thought we should have been more
competitive," coach Joel Johnson said of
his team's 9-0 loss to Kutztown, which
dropped dieir 1992 record to 1-8 (0-5 in
PSAC play). "I didn't feel they [Kutztown]
were that much better than us."
Johnson asserted that Kutztown was by
no means one of die strongest teams die
Haven have played diis season.
From dieir performances, it appeared diat
they were facing a tennis juggernaut.
Only two players, Chris Grink and J.P.
Frymyer, were able to extend dieir opponents to three-set matches. The remainder
of die team was swept in straight sets.
Johnson summed up his team's performance in one word: Dis^qjpointing. "1
don't diink we should have been shut out,"
he said. "I thought we had a good shot at
winning the match."
Johnson's troops fared better last Thursday against East Stroudsburg University,
but again diey were unable to grab a victory. They dropped a 5-4 decision to their
cross-state rival.
Of course, it should be noted diat Stroudsburg fielded only five players for die contest, which meant that die Eagles were
handed two triumphs by forfeit
Neverdieless, victorious outings by number five singles player Nien-Tzu Chen and
the number two doubles team of Bob Murdock and Chris Rice kept die team firmly in
reach of a win.
' The biggest problem for Johnson against
East Stroudsburg was that his number diree
singles player, Kirby Brubaker, did not attend the match.
Brubaker's absence forced Johnson to

ing die lineup at the last minute," said
Johnson.
Johnson was pleased, however, widi how

"I thought we should have been
more competitive. I didn't feel
they [Kutztown] were that much
better than us."
-Coach Joel Johnson

Bob Murdock serves in the number two double's match against East Stroudsburg (Photo
by Travis Prebble).
juggle his lineup of players at die worst
possible moment: right before game time.
Going into the match, Johnson had felt
his team had a "good shot" at defeating
East Stroudsburg.

NOW PLAYING AT THE

ROXY
E. Main Street

Lock Haven

BASIC
ALL SEATS $3.00
Mon-Thurs 7:30 p.m.
Fri, Sat & Sun 7 & 9 p.m.

After Brubaker didn't show to play a depleted exponent, his good vibes faded.
"It's always tough to do good after chang-

his club responded to the eleventh hour adjustments. "We were competitive," he said,
which is all is asked of his inexperienced,
developing team.
Johnson said, "I don't want to keep saying die same thing, but we're stdl young.
We haven't had a lot of game experience."
Johnson's players were scheduled to undergo a real learning experience yesterday
against Edinboro University. 'They're a
very tough team," Johnson said of Edinboro, one of die highest-ranked teams in
NCAA Division II tennis. "It'U be a rough
match for us."

Weekend Schedule

Outdoor Track away Thursday through Saturday at Penn Re- Rugby away Saturday at Suslays 11 a.m. Saturday away at Mil- quehanna University 1 p.m.
lersville Invitational Open 10 a.m.
Golf away Sunday at PSAC
Saturday at East Stroudsburg Hepchampionships
in DuBois TBA
tathlon/Decathlon Open TBA
Softball away Saturday at SlipLacrosse away Sunday at West
pery Rock University lp.in.
Point Military Academy 1 p.m.
Baseball away Friday at Clarion
away at PSAC
University
TBA. Away Saturday at
in Williamsport
Edinboro University 1 p.m. Home
Sunday v. California University (in
MiU Hall) TBA.

Men's Tennis
championships
TBA

April 24,1992

Eagle Eye

Golf drops £hrfte ^trfti^E ^...,^..«..>,^..««,.,.«^....pl2
Softball tak^ otiefirom Carton.,,,»
,p 13
Lacrosse drops to undefeated Frostburg...
P 14
BasebaU stOl atop tbe PSAC-Wes*...,,..
p 15

IKDOPI

Track team place seven at Nittany Lion Open
by Shawn Liddkk
Eagle Eye Sports Editor
While most people went home Easter
weekend, a few dedicated tracksters stayed
in the Havoi to participate in the Penn State
Nittany Lion Open.
The men sent a contingent of six Eagles
and four of them came home with place finishes, personal bests and Pennsylvania State
Athletic Conference (PSAQ championship
qualifications.
Jim Sagerer threw the shot put for a personal best 40' 3", taking home die bronze.
Brian Wessner also brougt^t home die
bronze when he launched the javelin for
175* 8".
Glen Allison launched himself 6' 4" in
the high jump to place fifth.
Adam McKane and Mike Pulsifer competed in die meet but did not place.
McKane ran the distance events (1.S00 meters and 5,000 meters) while Puller ran in
the 800 meto- dash.
However, the star of die day was Steve
Kravitz. He ran fw a personal best in die
200 meter dash widi a time of 22.2 seconds,
qualifying him for the PSAC championships in that event He toc4c fourth in the
event
Kravitz also ran fw a personal best in tbe
400 meter dash with a time of 49.02 of
bring home die highest men's place finish,
the silver medal. He also qualified for the
PSAC championships in this event
Head coach Mark Elliston said. "He ran a
great and aggressive race. This is the type
of race he needs to give him the confidence
to believe he is among the best 400 meter
sprinto^s, if he isn't thoe already."

Linda Sullivan goes over the top, reaching a hight of 5' 2", placing fourth at Penn State this weekend (Photo by Mark Elliston).
The women's contingent consisted only
of the high jumpo^. where diey almost had
the 1-2-3 sweep. The event was held indoor due to inclement weather.

home die Haven's only gold on die aft^noon. She almost made the jump at S' 8 1/
2" which would have qualified her for the
PSAC championships.

Linda Sullivan and Holli Spotts both
leiqied for a height of 5' 2". Sullivan
placed fotirth in the event while Spotts
brought home the bronze.

Elliston commented on the afternoon. "It
was rainy, cold, and sUghdy windy. However, the field diat we took to Penn State
did extremely well. We came back with a
couple more PSAC qualifiers and are bound
to see more in our next couple of meets."

Patti Smoker continued her dominance of
the high jump as she soared S' 6" to bring

The Eagles uavel all over the state diis
weekend, sending competitors to three different competitions.
Theirfirststop is the prestigious Penn Relays (held in Philadelphia), that will feature
teams from around the region, including
NCAA Division I and Division III schools.
Competition is today and tomorrow, April
24 and 25.
As soon as diey finish at the Penn Relays,
they make die one and a half hour journey
across the state to the Millersville Invitational Open on April 25 for divisional competition.

Glen Allison clears the bar at 6' 4' to place fifth in die Penn State Nittany Lion Invitational (Photo by Mark Elliston).

At the same time, die Eagles are sending
Tracy Trapp and Glen Allison upstate to
East Sbtiudsbuig for a meet held specifically for competitors in the Heptathlon and
Decathlon events. Competition is on April
25 and 26.