CGA vote strengthens Voice financial growth Members of thc executive board of thc Community Government Association self sufficiency of The Voice. ponder on the issue of the finacial Photo by ChA Lower Greeks try to build image by Bridget Sullivan Staff Writer Greek organizations on campus arc striving lo improve their image this semester, according to Lori Barsncss, Greek coordinator. Barsncss sees herself as an advisor who bridges thc gap between the administration and students. "I want to work with thc students and gain their trust ," she said. Barsncss added that by working with the students, she can help the Greek system restore a positive image in Bloomsburg following the Beta Sigma DclUi Raid of Nov. 19, 1987. Barsncss said , "Tlie Greeks are very aware that they need to work on their image and public relations , both with the community and with the students." Althoug h Barsness said it will be a long process, she added that the Greeks arc eager to work together and with thc administration to improve thc system's image. "I am trying to encourage IFC (Inter-Fraternity Council) and ISC (Inter-Sorority Council) to be more of a governing body," she said. "I believe that those two organizations could have a lot of influence on the student body by sponsoring educational programs, and using some of to help the theii^funds community," she added. However, Barsncss attributed the j I energy, or lack thereof , of each organization to their leaders. ISC President MaryAnn Patton said she hopes lo get ISC more actively involved with IFC. "Last semester was tough ," said IFC President Jeff Smith. "It was difficult for a new (Greek) administration to come in and do anything positive." He said that he is optimistic about the spring semester because more freshmen will be eligible to rush. IFC has not met to plan their calendar for the semester yet, but Smith said that Greeks are hoping to involve more people in Greek Week, and intend to publish an activities schedule this semester. by Melissa Harris for The Voice The Voice ' s proposal to become financiall y self-supporUng in the future was passed at the Mondav night ¦reeling of the Community Government Association . According to lhe proposal , CGA funding [orThe Voice has steadily decreased for the past three years while advertising revenue has increased . A separate opcraUng account for The Voice would bc established in the University Trusl which would receive any adverUsing revenue and pay opcrating expenses. The Voice would build up reserves to be used on an ongoing basis. Ten percent of the advertising revenues would bc designated as stipends for the publication staff , increasing thc stipends currently paid to the staff , thc proposal states. The new proposal also approved editors taking internship credits in addition to receiving sti pends. The advertising staff would also be eli gible to receive a 10 percent commission on new advertisements sold. Advertising managers , however , would not be eligible to receive commissions because they receive stipends. Before voting, CGA senators received an amendment suggested by the executive council staling, "In any semester in which an editor or manager is receiving academic credit , he/ she shall not be eligible to receive a stipend or commission." Thc Senate defeated the amendment 21-18 and passed the proposal. In other business, CGA announced that the off-campus shuttle bus routes from last semester will be in effect until maps of the new routes can be published by the university in approximately two to three weeks. Anne O'Brien , CGA corresponding secretary, reported to senators lhat thc Board of Student Government Presidents has decided Uiat students who wish to join Commonwealth Association of Students (CAS) will no longer send $2 to the Bloomsburg CAS chapter. David Gcrlach , executive assistant, discussed the alcohol seminar he attended at Susquehanna University with Dean of Student Life Robert Norton and Director of Student Development Dr. Jack Mulka. After two alcohol-related deaths al Susquehanna in recent years , Susquehanna , along with other schools, is trying lo motivate students to be responsible with alcohol . Student Trustee Karen Cameron announced that peUUons for the elections to executive council for next year are available at the InformaUon Desk and are due Jan. 29. The Senior Banquet will be Friday, April 22 at the Woodlands. The senior class dues, which arc $10, must be paid in order to go to the banquet. A number of mccungs were scheduled including: Governing Board , Wednesday, Jan. 27 at 6:30 p.m.; Studen t Organizations , Wednesday at 3 p.m.; and Awards Committee, Tuesday, Feb. 2 at 1 p.m. The senators were reminded that the Bloodmobile would be collecting donations in Kehr Union this week. They were reminded that the Town-Gown meeting will be held the first week in February. As well, they were informed mat a new pay phone has been installed near the McCormick Center for Human Services. Th eta Chi: not yet a Bloomsburg chapter Theta Chi is a colony at ness for IFC this Sunday will be to Bloomsburg University , nol a chap- come up with probationary requireler, as previousl y stated in a Jan. 18 ments pertaining to Theta Chi. article of Thc Voice. We will probably use guidelines Inter-Fraternity Council President similar to those used with Gamma Jeff Smith , who previously could not Epsilon Omicron." be contacted , said , "Theta Chi has not yet achieved permanent status on Smith said it is not possible to precampus." dict at this time when the colony will He added, "The firsl order of busi- obtain a permanent status on campus Defective condoms discovered by Allan Parachim L.A. Times-Washington Post Service Officials of a condom-safety research project discovered a batch of condoms so prone to failure - and they said that might still be on thc market - that researchers intentionally broke the study 's internal secrecy codes to notify the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. The researchers, working on a joint program for the University of California , Los Angeles, and the University of Southern California , reported Tuesday that they were able to buy some of the condoms in question from at least two Los Angeles drugstores as recently as early January, even though the defective condoms had been discovered in late November and thc FDA said that the manufacturer said all stocks had been sold out. In response, the FDA said Tuesday it was reopening an inquiry into the batch in question. The discovery was tlie latest development in the UCLAUSC research , which is attempting to identif y prophylactics that may reliably prevent transmission of the AIDS virus. The study has evaluated 35 U.S. and forei gn brands, and researchers are now concentrating on 10 of those for additional study. An FDA official , speaking on the condition he not be idenufied , said that he could not be certain whether the federal agency 's own condom-testing program - ordered in March in response to growing questions about the safety of condoms used to try to prevent the spread of AIDS - had evaluated the batch in question. The official said it was unlikely the batch had becn tested by federal agents. The focus of the urgent notification from the UCLAUSC team , according to the FDA, is a batch of condoms sold under thc Protex brand as "Contracept Plus " with an expiration dale of Nov. 15, 1990. The FDA said it had issued a recall notice for a batch of an identical condom product in December because the lot failed to meet standard FDA tests for leakage. And while the FDA said the problem with the batch of as many as 7,500 condoms, distributed nationwide, appeared to be that the products had deteriorated because they were held too long in wholesale warehouses, researchers here, also speaking on the condition they would not be named, questioned whether age was responsible because the batch had been discovered long before the expiration date of its spermicide coating. Bruce Voeller of Mariposa Foundation , a condom expert involved in the UCLA-USC study, said that discovery of the defective batch so concerned officials of the study that they decided to break secrecy codes built into the research - to ensure that scientists are not biased by brand-name affiliation - so the FDA could take immediate enforcement action. UCLA-USC researchers emphasized that identification of the significandy defective condom batch should not be perceived as a reason to question the safety of condoms in general. "The fact is that this is arogue condom," Voeller said, "but condoms, in general, are the major route available for people to protect themselves against AIDS." Bloodmobile helps BU students by TJ Kemmerer News Editor Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL), a disease which effects while blood cells, has been part of the life of one Bloomsburg University student for die past eight years. Daniel Gray,21, was 13yearsold when he was told he suffered fro m ALL. An abnormal producUon of white blood cells is the main affliction of the disease. Gray describes ALL as cancer of bone marrow. "That 's why you have an abnormal producUon of white blood cells," hc said. "Young blood cells that don 't funcUon correcily crowd out normal blood cells that fight infecUon." Currently, Gray is in remission , his body is free of the cancer. Remission , as described by Gray is when the cancer cells are gone. "It is held there by medicine, like chemotherapy . Then you are taken off the medicaUon to see if your body can function without it," he said. Chemotherapy is a broad spectrum treatment, which requires blood transfusions to replenish the blood cells lost during the treatment. Gray states, "Chemotherapy knocks the system down. It kills Uie bad cells. It also kills the good white blood cells and red blood cells. It 's not selective. So your (blood) counts drop." Platelets lost during chemotherapy are responsible for the clotUng of blood. Without a proper level, a person could suffer from internal bleeding. According to Debbie Snyder, a registered nurse at Geisinger Medical Center, it takes about 12-14 units of platelets for each transfusion, depending on the weight of the patient. Another product needed by chemotherapy patients is hemoglobin, tlie oxygen carrier of blood. Hemoglobin is obtained through transfusions of packed red cells, described by Snyder as platelets and red blood cells taken out of whole blood. This is done to limit adverse reacUons to transfusions lo whole blood cells. When Gray is in need of blood products, he can use up to one transfusion a day. Even though there has been a shortage of blood products, receiving blood has never becn a problem for Gray. He states, "If there ever was a problem, they never told me." Gray feels that donating blood is very important for everyone. "If the blood wasn 't there, I wouldn't be here. I would donate ,but with all the medicine I have had, I could never be able to." The first major snowstorm of this semester made many roads impassable and sidewalks treacherous. Bccarefu l Of Walks likC this One. Photo by Ben Gamson FBI probes Hart contributions by Kim Murphy L.A. Times-Washington Post Service The Department of Justice said Tuesday that the FBI has becn asked to invesdgate allegations that Southem California video producer Stuart Karl improperly funneled campaign contributions to Democratic presidential candidate Gary Hart in 1984 and 1988. John Russell, a department spokesman, said that Justice Department officials contacted FBI agents in Los Angeles Monday to discuss the probe, launched in the wake of news reports that Karl had secretly reimbursed his employees for contributions to Hart and put a Hart aide on his payroll in 1986 and early 1987. Federal election law limits individual contributions to $1,000 per election and also establishes criminal penalties for hiding the true source of campaign contributions. Rama ' Middell , a former senior executive assistant at Karl' s nowdefunct video company, Karl-Lorimar Home Video, has told reporters that Karl asked her and other employees to donate to Hart's 1984 campaign in order to get around the $1,000 contribution limit. -Other former Karl employees told the Orange County Register last week that Karl pressured workers into making contributions and then reimbursed them. "That's illegal , if that's what in fact took place," said one Justice Department official , who asked not to be idenufied. "That would be a violation that we would be very interested in ," he added. However, Hart could not be held criminally liable for any of the purported contributions unless it could be established that he knew the money had been secretly funneled from an unreported source, official s said. Russell said the investigation , requested by U.S. Attorney Robert C. Bonner in Los Angeles, is a "preliminary " probe that will focus "on whether these contribudons lhat the employees made violated federal criminal statutes." Bernie Schneider, general counsel for Hart's 1988 campaign , said "no laws were violated by the campaign, to my knowledge. We're looking at it, and Gary's made it very, very clear that he wants his campaigns to be conducted in not only a legal way, but at a standard that exceeds legality." Campaign officials said they have already returned a total of S3,000 in contributions made by Karl employees, including contributions from two employees who have reported ly denied that they were reimbursed by Karl. "We have no independent information that any of these people were reimbursed , but just to avoid thc hint of impropriety , Gary said send 'em back," Schneider said. Index Volunteers are needed for Uie annual Alumni Phone-a-thon , to be held in late February. Page 3 A personal interview wilh Gary Larson proves he's nol on Thc Far Side. Page 4 For highlights of last night's basketball game, sec Page 8. Commentary Features Comics Sports page 2 page 4 page 6 page ? *—w **wt%*m —mBi--am *a ****^^***--»Mmtt Commentary f f A story of p rincip a ls by Ellen Goodman Editorial Columnist What follows is a tale of three high schools. Eastside Hi gh. Hazclwood Hi gh . James Madison High. The first of these, Eastside High , Paterson , N.J., is run by a princi pal named Joe Clark. In case you have missed Clark on television, he's thc man wwo patrols his hallways like a para-milimry ruler of a unruly country, armed with bullhorn and baseball bat. The second, Hazclwood high , Missouri , is run by Robert Reynolds. This man has used a more delicate instrument lo exercise his authority: a blue pencil and scissors to snip real life from student news. The third , James Madison , is wholly fictional. It springs from thc imagination of Bill Bennett, thc secretary of education , who created it as a showcase for an ideal curriculum. At firs t glance, the khrec high schools seem unconnected; separate. But in some subtle way, they arc current variations on the same theme. They suggest thc return to control , the stiffening of authority in thc schools, the growing popularity of law-andordcr education. The Eastside success story is in some ways thc ripest. Joe Clark 's school (and make no mistake, it is HIS school) was more a haven for drugs and violence than for education when hc took over. It was a prototype, die worst-case scenario of inner-city anarchy and neglect, in need ofa savior. In his first year, Clark kicked out 300 of his 3,000 students. Last week, threatened by the school board for ex- pelling 60 more who were failing, he filled an auditorium wilh his fervent supporters: Eastside students and parents. Hazclwood High is a less tumultuous place, but is not without its problems. Teen-age pregnancy, and the aftermath of divorce, for example. When lhe school paper tried to publish stories about these issues, the young journalists were censored by the principal . Last week, thc Supreme Court supported thc school. It gave thc principal , indeed any princi pal , the right to censor virtually anything. In the words of Justice While: "A school need not tolerate student speech that is inconsistent with its 'basic educational mission.'" James Madison High School is happily unencumbered by any students at all. Yet the curriculum that Bennett wrote for this school is also about toughening schools from the top down. Bennett describes the course of study this way: "Our children should know about continental shift and quadradic equations, about Gothic architecture and die Gettysburg address, about what a symphony is and about who Shakespeare was and what he wrote." James Madison isn 't a cafeteria high school where students pick and choose courses. It offers something more like a sit-down meal where students are expected to swallow what is served. What are we to make of the tale of three high schools? As a parent I have one set of feelings. I cheer the sheriff who cleaned up Eastside High and made it safe. I empathize with the Hazclwood principal who wants power over thc messages going to the young, at least under his own roof . I would sign up my children for meaty fare at James Madison High School. Butasacitizcn .I wondcrabouthow easily we settle for control. How quickl y wc retreat to authoritarian habits. Thc educational hero of the hour , Joe Clark , is also an autocrat who raises test scores by expelling the low scorers. Thc victor in thc Supreme Court has forgotten what Justice Brennan writes in his dissent, the "mandate to inculcate moral and political values is not a general warrant to ac t as thought pol ice...."Those who call for higher standards can also signal a return to a rigid curriculum at Madison Hi gh. There is a scent of authoriarianism in the tale of three high schools. It goes beyond Uie idea lhat Teacher Knows Best. Our concern that 'things ' are out of control prompts us to shore up the framework of our institutions. Anxiety about thc future, that vague sense of national slippage and hard times ahead, gets reflected in a mandate to shape up the young. These are good, caring impulses. But the best high schools when they work are like die smoothest adolescence— and maybe just as rare. They 're a place of transition from childhood to citizenshi p, a time when thc controls are graduall y handed over. I missed those chapters in the tale of three high schools. A^NDTOVIORU) ^ cwiracT* Is ^~^mr~ —J- Senator not satisfied with executive board's actions To the Editor 1 am taking Uiis opportunity to profess my pride in our Community Government Association . After "discussing" The Voice 's newly proposed budget for over two months, wc finally called it to a vote and it has been passed. However, my joy for the senate's success is overshadowed by some statements made by the executive board during thc meeting in regard to thc entire matter. First there was the ever-articulate Jim Fritchman , CGA vice president, "Wc, the members of exec board felt that the whole problem with Uie issue was the question of stipends versus credits so that is why we (again exec board) added thc ammendment D-6." (Parenthesis mine). For mose who are not on the CGA senate, the amendment to The Voice ' s proposal stated lhat , "In any semester in which an editor or manager is receiving academic credit, he/she shall not be eligible to receive a stipend or commision" When the amendment went to discussion , several senators slated theu* dissent to lhe proposed addition to the proposal. John Walker, representing the Junior Class, said, "I think that for all lhe work involved in what they do, the stipends are very trivial. As for internship credits and the stipends, I know for a fact that I'm hoping to get an internshi p this summer and make quite a bit of money doing it. " After Walker finished , another senator who I was unable to identif y due to my scat, raised lhe question, "Arc paid internshi ps available in other areas?" To which Fritchman quietl y replied , "Yes." Then still anoiher senator, again her Whatever it is, y our op inion counts by David J ' erris Staff Troublemaker Welcome back to the hallowed halls and steamy sidewalks of Bloomsburg University . I trust you had a pleasant holiday. I' ve had numerous requests to do another article on how to write letters to the editor , or editor-letterizing as I called it last time around. First let me assure you that we encourage you to write with your opinions. We like to get mail, even if it doesn 't say nice things about us. More importantiy, I and many other editorialists write with the primary purpose of forcing people to think. I don 't necessarily intend to make you agree with me, but I hope that I at least get you to examine your own feelings about Uie subject at hand and determine for yourself why you feel as you do. Often I'll make a statement in my articles that is diametrically opposed to Uie actual way I feel , in order to point out certain patterns of logic. Usually this is disguised with humour. Since everything else I write is also disguised with humour, Uie reader is (hopefully) forced to consider my arguments at depth in order to determine my true meaning. Let me also point out that we do not expect you to write letters with Uie eloquence of Shakespeare. That would be interesting, however... "O Registrar, O Registrar, Thou hast scathed the depths of my soul With thy burning arrows of incompetence..." Your opinion is valued, regardless of the quality with which it was applied to paper. Most of you reading this are college students or faculty, so we would like to see a level of writing skills commensurate with that distinc- tion , or at least high school level. I have seen a number of articles and letters from people who were obviously quite intelli gent and felt strongly about the subject matter, but the writing skill displayed would place them somewhere in elementary school. I'm not talking about a few misspelled words or a dangling participle, I mean these people couldn 't write down a proper sentence if their lives depended on it. No punctuation , over a third of the words misspelled, dismal grammar. The common reaction to this sort of thing is to reply, "What I said was important, not the way I said it." True, to an extent, but the problem is Uiat if the author 's writing is that bad, Uie person reading is not able to decipher the intent. I ve seen notes in which I could not determine whether Uie writer was for or against the topic as they had left out or terribly misspelled key words and phrases. This should not deter you from submitting letters to Uie editor. I would hope that if your skills are a bit lacking, you would have Uie desire to improve them in order to become a better person. Keep in mind Uiat few things impress an employer more than the ability to write well. Before submitting your work, ask a friend (preferably someone who can read) to look over the piece and offer advice and constructive criticism. With useful feedback, you can find the areas in which you are lacking and concentrate on them. Practice is also essential. We don 't expect a submission to be in term paper format either, but you really should make an effort to type the letter or at least print neatly in ink. You must also sign your letters and include a phone number. We can withhold your real name if you re- quest, but Voice policy requires that we have a signature before we print. This minimizes the papers ' liability in Uie event of a fraud. Writing anonymously is acceptable in many cases, such as when Uie author divulges personal experiences Uiat should remain private, but most of the time you should not be afraid to use your real name. Many readers will place less credence on your argument if you are not brave enough to state your case publicly, using your own identity. After all, I use my real name on all Uie rubbish I put out and I haven 'tbeen mugged yet. (Ofcourse, the fact that I'm a homicidal psychopath with no moral restraints and a nasty disposition may have something to do with my prolonged survival.) Now I must move on to the contents of the letters. Remember Uiat this page is an "Opinions" page, devoted to editorials and readers opinions. By definition , everyone has an opinion , even if that opinion is apathy. You cannot realistically criticize a person for being opinionated in their editorial or letter on Uie Opinions Page. Try to keep some originality in your remarks. Quite often , especially concerning hotly debated topics, the vast majority of letters contain the same old arguments that have been thrown around for years. No new ground is broken, no new points brought out. This is largely because neither side is listening to the other and each ignores the cliches and slogans of the opposing team. Try to find a new angle and avoid those slogans! One specificpoint: keep away from die two cliches Uiat seem to be in every other letter to the editor these* days. "Wake up and smell Uie coffee" was clever when Ann Landers first used it thirty years ago. ft Since it is usually used to imply "if you disagree with me or have an opposing opinion you are being unrealistic", it 's underlying value is dubious at best. The second editor-lettering no-no is Uie sarcastic build-up structure consisting of a mocking version of the opponents' stand stated as a question, followed quickly by "I think not".The build-up technique is acceptable, sarcasm is certainly a mainstay of editorial literature, but that "I think not"bit has to go. That line went sour when the Roman senators kept using it to reply to Julius Caesar's letters from France. When you are replying to a specific article or letter, try very hard to discuss Uie actual contents of said article/ letter. Too often a letterizer will reply to a letter on a topic, Uie budget for instance, but neglect to address any of the points in Uie original piece. They ramble on using the usual collections of cliches and express a general dislike for whomever wrote Uie first article and finish off by telling them to wake up and smell the coffee. This is fine for a discussion over lunch , but hardly makes a useful rebuttal to Uie offending submission. Again let me emphasize that we encourage you to write in with your thoughts and opinions. We only ask Uiat you make them legible and intelligent. Now, if you 'll excuse me, I have to get working on a letter of my own. Scranton Commons, den of despair Thy toast doth not sate the longing of my maw And thy potatoes, mashed though they be by the retinue of contract, Do indeed embody lumps, so as to invoice the rage of tny roommate... name obscured due to my seal , said, "Il is their budget , and I ihink that they should be allowed to do what they want with Uie money. " An interesting point that had n 't becn raised up lo this point. My mind was almost made up. Then , my decision was made for mc. Marie Graziano, project coordinator and member of thc executive board , said , "If there was all this discussion about it now , wc should have been discussing it in earlier meetings." She's right , you know , WE CERTAINLY HAD ENOUGH OF THEM!!! The only flaw in her argument was the fact Uiat the other meetings were totall y monopolized by the executive board arguing and bantering with Uie then Editor-in-Chief of The Voice, Donal d Chomiak . We heard from Executive Representative Tim Kurtz , "Well , Don , if thc stipends are insignificant compared to thc work you do, then you could do without them couldn 't you?" Wc heard from Jim Friichman , "Uh, how do wc know lhat you won 't load the paper with ads so you can increase your revenue and thereby increase your stipends?" OUier statemen ts were made during the harangues that were unattributable due lo lack of order. Statements like, "Have you ever thought of paying the reporters instead of the editors?", "If 77*e Voice is a class, why do you get paid to do it?", and "Why do you get stipends when no one else docs?" If this weren 't enough , we Uien have Kris Rowe, parliamentarian on executive board , tearfull y say, "I busted my butt to do these parking surveys and didn 't get a dime for it!" That explains why she didn 't have the new bus route ready for distribution at the beg inning of the semester, she was too busy looking for pity. Every session ended with Uie same motion to table thc issue "due to its complexity " and I actual ly began to think that maybe there was something I had missed when I read through the document when it was first given to mc so many weeks ago. I began to think that The Voice was trying to pull one over on the senate and I was ready to vote "no." Then when Fritchman made his statement about D-6, I realized Uiat senate had no input whatsoever on any of the two ammendments already approved or the newly proposed one. I finally realized it was not The Voice staff trying to dupe me, or us, but actuall y our own exec board! THEY made all Uie ammendments, THEY asked all the questions and THEY made us, or me at least, feel incompetent to make this decision. I real ized I wasn 'I alone then as several senators spoke their minds , for the first time on the issue. And Graziano had the audacity to say we should have made these comments earlier? My perspective on CGA has certainly changed. I don 't know how much I can trust my exec board anymore. I, for one, will keep a watchful eye on its members from now on. The senate must be aware of what is going on. Hell , the students should be aware of what is going on. Do you? The "C" stands for Community. The student-elected senate makes Uie decisions not the executive board. Maybe someone should tell them that. ONE DISAPPOINTED SENATOR Roommate attack brutal To the editor Mr. Robertsarticle *'The Trouble With Roommates"is a vicious attack on people who are overweight. There are so many colorful eye-opening events that happen duringyour first experiences with roommates that I find it distressing that he ch ose to be superficial , predjudke and unimaginative. Supporting his immature concept is the statements "-No one could give birth to two of those within a four year periods"Also his sarcastic comment hinting that the college should have warned him about his fat roommate with a picture further supports my statement. Mr. Roberts* exhibits some talent for writing humor, but perhaps he could go easy on the physical traits and attack personality* After all, it's personality that counts. That is a lesson he failed to learn living with people, . .. Glenn Bateman aUje lima* Editor-in-Chief. Karen Reiss Managing Editor ; Tom Sink News Editors Lisa Cellini, Tammy J. Kemmerer Features Editors Lynne Ernst, Glenn Schwab Sports Editor Mike Mullen Photography Editor Christopher Lower Assistant Photography Editor ....Chrissa Hosking Production/Circulation Manager. Alexander Schillemans Advertising Manager Susan Sugra Assistant Advertising Manager Kim Clark Business Manager ZZZZ "Richard Shaplin Copy Editors Dav id Ferris, Chris Miller Illustrator Advisor .David K. Garton John Maittien-Harris Voice Editorial Policy Unless stated otherwise , the editorials in The Voice are the opinions and concerns of the Editor-in-Chief , and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of all members of The Voice staff, or the student population of Bloomsburg University. The Voice invites all readers to express their opinions on the editorial page through letters to the editor and guest columns. All submissions must be signed and include a phone number and address for verification, although names on letters will be withheld upon request. Submissions should be sent to The Voice office , Kehr Union Building, Bloomsburg University, or dropped off at the office in the games room.' The Voice reserves the right to edit, condense or reject all submissions. uS^EIrara Foundation sponsors * Ine Bloodmobile will be at Bloomsburg University today between 10:30 am and 4:30 pm in the KUB . All students are urged to donate blood. The Bloomsburg Student Concert Committee is now accepting applications. Applications may be picked up at the Information Desk of the KUB. Deadline for all applications is Friday, Feb. 5, 1988. For further information contact Jimmy Gilliland at 389-4344. The Inter-Fraternity Council presents Uie IFC All-Presidents Talk Tuesday, Feb. 9 at 7 pm in Multi-A, KUB. Anyone who is interested in pledging a fraternity must attend. The Pennsylvania Federation of Democratic Women is accepting applications for a scholarship from any female Pennsylvania studen t in the junior class who is interested in making a career in politics or government or who is preparing to teach government, economics or history. Applicants must have a Democratic family background or be an active participant in the activities of Uie parly. The deadline for applications is April 15, 1988. For application forms write to: Ms. Barbara Bruno, 2090 Potts Hill Rd., Etters, PA 17319. annual phone-a-thon by Dawn D'Aries f o r The Voice Sponsored by Uie Bloomsburg University Foundation, the Annual Alumni Phone-a-thon is expecting to raise $ 150,000 this year, and has been scheduled from February 29 through April 29. According to Sue Helwig, assistant director of student development , the phone-a-thon raises money for scholarships, faculty research and development, equipment, alumni services such as Homecoming, and Uie Celebrity Artist Series. Helwig estimated that 15,000 phone calls to alumnists by 400 callers would raise about $150,000. The BU Foundation is seeking volunteers, including students , faculty members and .staff alumni , to call on Mondays through Thursdays from 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Volunteers will receive a half-hour training session prior to making calls at the phone stations in Carver Hall. Professors from thc Business, Mass Communications and Communication S tudies departments are encouraging their students to participate in the phonea-thon. Dr. Richard Alderfer, Communication Studies professor, said the experience allows students to develop a good repoir with alumni while raising money for the university. Last year, the six-week phone-a-thon exceeded a goal of $80,000 by raising $103,000. By averaging 150 pledges a night , the BU Foundation hopes to reach this year's goal. "Getting on the phone and talking to a person is the best way to get a response,"Helwig said. "A phone-a-thon is the next best thing to being there." Students interested in participating should visit the Development Office in Carver Hall or call 389-4213. Students who have been residents of West Virginia for at least one year and are full-time undergraduates may apply for a West Virginia Higher Education Grant. Completed forms must be returned my March 1, 1988. Contact Mrs. Kishbaug h, Financial Aid office, Room 19, ben Franklin Hall, for applications. QUEST will be hosting a cross-country day ski Jan. 31, 1988. The course will take place at a local cross-country ski resort and the cost ($17) includes ski equipment, trail pass, lessons and transportation . For more information call QUEST at 398-4323 or stop by the QUEST office in Simon Hall. QUEST Outdoor Adventures is offering a snowshoeing day hike on Jan. 30, 1988. All participants will meet at Centennial Gym at 6 a.m. The price of $17 includes transportation, equipment , instruction and lunch.. For more information call QUEST at 389-4323 or stop at the QUEST office in Simon Hall. The first performance of Uie Bloomsburg University Celebrity Artist Series during the spring semester will be the award-winning Broadway musical comedy 'The Music Man", and will be performed at 8 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 7, in Mitrani Hall of Haas Center for the Arts. Tickets will be available in advance at the Information Desk in Uie Kehr Union Building (389-3900) or at the box office Uie night of Uie performance. The Bloomsburg University music department is featuring a faculty recital at 2:30 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 31, in Carver Hall Auditorium. The concert is free of charge and open to Uie public. For more information, contact the music department at 389-4284. A few brave men are needed to play: "Skirmish :the friendly war game,"For more information call Rick Shaplin at 3871662. ¦ —*"** ' ' ¦ '.»™™ff.>.«~.V.»w™..v..^*.>.w..M«^ '•<":'.%'MllS*«»r*:'^'-»'.*~™™w.''~. A group of Bloomsburg University students brave thc artic-like weather following the first major snowstorm of the spring Photo by Ben Gairisoa Semester. Lower level of education p robed by Barbara Vobedja L.A. Times-Washington Post Service The mystery began two years ago, when schoolchildren across the country sat down to take a reading test. Nothing appeared unusual: Nearly 70,000 students penciled in their answer sheets, as American youngsters have for two decades in the federal government's testing program. But something went wrong in this latest round of tests - reading scores for two of three age groups dropped dramatically, raising Uie possibility that either Uie tests were seriously flawed or 9- and 17-year-olds had suffered drastic declines in their reading ability. Dozens of possible explanations have been examined - everything from a new color of ink in ths test booklets to the possibility Uiat the children were upset when they took the test, which was partially administered Jan. 28, 1986, the day thc space shuttl e Challenger exploded. But after months of study, both the Kehr Union ^nnnHHni ing performance over a period of years, the other age groups showed a full year's drop in achievement. In other words, if Uie 17-year-olds were expected to read at an 11thgradc level, the test showed they were reading only at a lOth-grade level. The notion that students across the country, in two age groups, could perform so poorly was both horrifying and unbelievable to test givers and federal officials. And if reading ability had dropped as much as the tests indicated , other standardized tests would have shown similar slides and teachers across Uie country would have noticed the problem. First, NAEP delayed releasing lest results scheduled to come out in September 1987 and initiated an investigation. Then the Education Department turned over the matter to ils own blueribbon panel to investigate. Neither investigation is complete, but Lapointe and Finn agreed that the mystery will probably not be solved even with the release of their studies. Educauon Department and the Educational Testing Service, which administers the "nation 's report card," are still perplexed. "We have gone down every alley we could imagine and some that seemed even a Hide frivolous trying to find what might have made a difference," said Archie E. Lapointe, director of the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), the testing program administered under a $4 million annual contract to ETS. "We're as baffled today as we were a couple of months ago." This is the first time federal test givers have run into such inexplicable test results. The reading tests are part of a battery of tests given to a national sample every two years to measure the academic progress ofthe nation's schoolchildren . In this case, reading tests were given to students aged 9, 13 and 17. And while the 13-ycar-olds showed the normal rate of progress, which was predicted by trend data compar- ^HBK Board x | pr esents... Bloomsburg University Newly appointed CAS coordinator, Mike Mullen, answers a call concerning his new Photo by TJ Kemmerer position . CAS seeks funding by John Risdon for The Voice The Commonwealth Association of Students will no longer receive student monies via donation request slips, according to CAS coordinator Michael Mullen. Previously, these slips were sent with each student's tuition bill. The Board of Student Government Presidents (BSGP) decided to omit the slips from next semester's bill, resulting in the loss ofa major source of income. According to a memo sent by the BSGP Uie slips will be omited because no local campus CAS organizations exist in the State System. The CAS constitution states that the organization does not exist on a stale wide level. The BSGP believes the lack of membership indicates the student opinion is not represented accurately. The fourteen elected leaders of universities in Uie state system feel there is a better way to represent student opinion in Uie State System of Higher Educaton. CAS helps students voice opinions regarding university policies and issues such as tuition increases, state grant reductions and more. The organization's goal is to present and protect student viewpoints of issues. Mullen is currently struggling to revive student interest in CAS. "It's important for CAS to keep an active voice," said Mullen. "If we don 't, tuition will keep going up, and available funds for student aid will continue to diminish." Although Mullen said that Uie omission of the CAS donation request slips wiU decrease funding significantly next semester, he hopes organizational operations will continue. "Only a minority of students donate. We raised enough funds to continue this semester." He added that students will be able to donate next semester. Mullen plans on running an election drive to register and involve students politically. He stressed that CAS needs interested volunteers and will meet in February. Anyone interested can contact Mike Mullen at 389-4457. NASSAU/PARADISE ISLAND CANCUN, MEXICO "Spring Break " / / * Y^ ^ Air B a n d s (Li p Syncs) C o m p e t i t i o n Prizes Awarded Including $100 CASH! Friday, Feb. 12 Admission: $1.00 Reserved Seat tickets available at the Info. Desk General Admission at door Sign np your Air-Band Now at Info . Desk!! $5 entry fee • Roundtrlp air from Philadelphia ,New York and Boston to Nassau,Paradise Island and Cancun,Mexico,other cities available. • Roundtrlp transfers from airport to hotel. • 7 nights hotel accommodations. • Welcome beach parties,cruises,club admission. • All hotel taxes,surcharges and gratuities. For more Information contact: American Travel 1(800) 231-0113 • Organize a small group and earn a FREE TRIP! Deadline: Feb. 9 Film i Warm up with : SUMMER SCHOOL nn '*iW"'1' A 7 & 9:30 p.m. A C U -1 ^^ t$gW JZgL I -=4=3.: Caver Hall R e cr e a t ion Tou rn am en t Tties. Feb. 2nd at 6pm KUB Table Tennis (men 's and women 's) and Darts! Wed. Feb.3 at 6pm KUB y^jgjj n Jj[ ^ **f\ jjlljlj l ^ ^^ ^^ Wffi: APARAM STPICTLRE [EODio .^?j&'aRj ^ h , zzzr "^zzY. ""*'— "~"-'— /^9» ar**9S*%i **¦ / • 1 .9 Tonight! February 26—April 8,1988 WEEKLY DEPARTURES from $279.00 8:00 p.m. Carver Chess and Backgammon Up Now At $2 Sign Info. Desk!! Entry Fee Winners will represent BU at the ACU-I Regional Tournament at West Virginia University on Feb.26th & 27th j A personal interview Larson not on the far side Dan Geringer Daily Ne ws Staff Writer Gary Larson certainly looks harmless enough. Hc is not , of course. He is hi ghl y dangerous to people who believe that tliere is such a thing as normal life. But hc looks harmless enough. He 's built small and he 's got thinning blond hair and wirc-rimmed glasses and a shy, hesitant manner and a soft , bookish voice. And even thoug h he 's on a major league 30-city author ' s tour to promote "In Search of The Far Side " (Andrews , McMccl & Parker , $4.95) - his latest collection of zen with wits , ya-gotta-brc-ak-afew-eggs-to-makc-an-existentialist cartoon-Larson 's carry ing his o w n luggage. And you can see that his arm s arc fechini the strain , iust like a regular person ' s arms would. And when you ask him aboul the orig in of th e lunatic laughter lhat. in thc short space of five years . h..s turned "The Far Side " from an obscure weekl y cartoon in Seattle into an outrageous dail y Firsi Thing I Turn To event in more than 125 newspapers nationwide , he manages io look about as innocent as a 34-year old cull fi gure can look and hc says: "It 's a mystery to me. I don ' t have a good handle on it. I don 't pretend lo understand it. Every time I think I have a clue , thc whole thing goes up in smoke. It 's a lillie scary sometimes. I mean , you should sec lhe ones lhal don 'l sec the light of day. " Like lhe one with thc puppy dog standing nea r the operating table begging thc surgeon for scraps. "Is it a gene?" Larson ponders . "Or environment? My favorite childhood book was 'Mr. Bear Squash You All Flat. ' Mom read it to mc over and over again. It was about this bear who sat on everyone 's houses and squashed 'em flat. Finally, Mr. Bear sits on Mr. Porcupine 's house. And Mr. Bear gets cured of his nasty habit. Fast. " Remembering whal Mr. Porcupine did to Mr. lu* -ir . Larson allows himself a ghoulish litife grin. But the gri n leavesas suddenly ;\s it appeared , and Larson replaces ii with his earnest look. "No one was killed ." he says quickly. "Mr. IVardidn ' i kill anyone. He just squashed their houses. And it wasn 't like my mother came to mc every nighl and said . 'Now Gary hch , heh . heh . it ' s time for another chapter of 'Mr. Rea r Squash You All Flal ' heh . heh . heh. " She never did Uiat. AY,;//v. ' So if it wasn " t Doris Larson 's motherl y guidance , what compels her mentall y .*7'r;'' •'*' ' son Gary to draw a guilty-looking witch standing in a middle-class living room and being yelled at by an angry middle-class couple w h o have just returned from an eveninc out. "Now let me gel this strai ght. " ihe husband screams ai lhe witch. "Wc hir ed you lo baby-sit the kids, and instead you cooked and ate them z*z;h ." Or the after-hours maternity ward scene where Uie janitor is removing newborn babies frem their cribs , rubbing them on his T-shirt , and suspending them from thc ceiling. "Laic at night and without permission ," the caption explains , "Reuben would often enter thc nursery and conduct experiments in static electricity." Or thc murder trial where thc prosecuting attorney and the assembled spectators arc shocked when a cow with a desperate look on its face suddenl y jumps up and shouts , "All right! All rig ht! I confess! I did it! Yes! That 's right! Thc cow! Ha ha ha! And I feci great! " Larson would have you believe that he sits quietl y, at home in Seattle, under his stuffed warthog head (which is dead), close to his pet horned I cogs and his snakes (which are alive) , waiting for a suggestion to enter his brain. A suggestion like, "I feci like drawing a duck today." or , "Elephants. I' m thinking elephants." And then , almost subconsciously, Larson will enter the Weird Area and emerge with something like "Thc Elephant 's Nightmare" in which an elephant sits at a grand piano in a soldoul concert hall. He is staring neurotically at the keyboard. Hc is paralyzed by fear. Hc is thinking, "What am I doing here? I can 't play this thing! I' m a flutist for crying-out-loud!" Larson would have you believe that hc is a regular guy. "I don 't feci like I'm a character who 's stepped right out of my cartoons," hc says sincerely. So why docs hc have a best friend like Ernie Wagner , thc reptile curator at the Seattle Zoo? And why did he fec i compelled to fill Ernie 's bathtub with 50 pounds of hi ppopotamus manure? "Because," Larson replies somewhat defensively, "Ernie's practical jokes had gotten to a level where it was clear to mc that unless he was stopped , someone was gonna die. " Hc pauses momentaril y to reflec t on the dangers of knowing Ernie. Then hc sighs and says, "Don ' t get me wrong. My friend Ernie is a regular kind of guy. It 's just that sometimes he scares mc. I' m not sure if hc knows thai certain boundaries exist. I don 't know if . . . Wait a minute. Retract everthing I said aboul 'a regular kind of guy. ' Ernie is not a regular kind of guy. He 's capable of having normal moments. But he 's nol a regular kind of guy. " In 1978 , Ernie asked Larson if he wanted to go to Mexico to hunt snakes. "Who wouldn 't want to go to Mexico and hunt snakes?" They were camp ing in central Mexico, up in the hills. Larson had a deep-seated fear of scorpions. Hc describes Ernie 's whip scorpions as "large , black , and basically harmless. But if looks could kill , you 'd lake one look at them and you 'd die. "Earl y one morning, I was ly ing in my sleeping bag, all zipped up, half- I G:\ry Larson takes time out from his busy schedule lo answer some questions about hfs life, his friends and "The Far Side." Vamp ire f ilm has lots of action by Pat Andrews StaffWriter ThcProgram Board 's film committee is off to a good start with their first Carver-packing success of the semester, "The Lost Boys. " This is ihe fi rst of several summer releases obtained by thc university for Ihe spring semester. "The Lost Boys" is not the typ ical dracula story set in Uie heart of Transylvania in an old rusUc castle with bats and a coffin. This is a modern day Uirillcr mixed wilh comedy Uiat takes place in Santa Carla , California , an occanside town. These vampires are not exactl y caped Casanovas like their famous predecessor either. Actuall y, they arc overgrown motorcycle riding teenagers who have quite an appeutc for human flesh and blood. Thc film is about a family; a mother and two sons, who move from Phoenix , Arizona to Santa Carla, the murder cap ital of the world. The incredibl y hi gh mortality rate is largely due to thc fac t that Santa Carla is infested with the Undead , more commonly known as vampires. See LARSON pageS March 6 to April 23, 1988* Diiector/producer Steven Spielberg and director John Badham arc among the film industry co-sponsors supporting thc 1988 Twelfth Annual Nissan FOCUS Awards, the largest national student filmmaking and screenwriting competition in the United Stales. Principally sponsored by Nissan Motor Ccrporauon in U.S.A. and additionally supported by Eastman Kodak Company, FOCUS (Films of College and University Students) gives hundreds of aspiring young filmmakers and screenwriters from schools across the country the chance to have their films and scripts seen and critiqued by some of Hollywood's leading producers , directors, actors, and agents, as well as provides the opportunity to win over $100,000 in cash, automobiles and prizes. The competition 's popularity among the nation 's film students has been growing as a result of the successes achieved by former FOCUS winners. | 11 I f L ia W / m-4 I**JL*4 W *-*! W& ¦ Wi I IIm.Bt m. IB rl 1 TTi IV r* * AV ^ ¦* . ^w ^k _ yJA vk. H. **^ n n A W W H A B A H v L * f ^* yj ^a m -a ** , . ^ ^ **.. 7*\**A^^ ^ fA **7 DB ^ ^ JL A 9fl n A HS wts. am BB JP JBL v&# Tnf M Bi H M When you break awaythis7 year, do it with style. Your College Week in Bermuda is more than just sun , sand and surf. Rig ht from the lirst outrageous "Col lege Bash" at Elbow Beach , it 's a week of unrelenting pleasure . Spectacular seaside buffet luncheons. A calypso and limbo festival like none other. Smashing dancetil-you-drop beach parties , featuring Bermuda 's top rock , steel and calypso bands. Even a "Party Cruise!' All compliments of the Bermuda Department of Tourism. Bermuda is all of this—and much , much more. It 's touring the island 011 our breezy mopeds. ^B^ t nf (Do remember to keep left!) It 's jogging on quiet country roads—including an early morning 2-k "Fun Run " from Horseshoe Bay. It 's exploring the treasures in our international shops, playing golf on eight great courses, and tennis on over 100 island-wide courts. But most of all , it 's the feeling you get on a tiny, flower-bedecked island , separated from everywhere and everything by 600 miles of sea. This year, break away with style. See your Campus Travel Representative or Travel Agent for details. 'College Weeks packages not available week of April 10 16. REDMAN SPORT & TRAVEL 208 West 260th Street P.O. Box 1322 , Riverdale , NY 10471 1 (800) 237-7465 In N.Y State call collect: (212) 796-6646 Thc Frog Brothers add a lot to the comical side of Uie story. They tel l Sam that they have dedicated their lives to the American Way, which to them means destroying all vampires. Soon after realizing that his own brother is a half-vampire, Sam desperately turns to the Frog Brothers for help. Edgar and Allan give Sam two alternatives; either kill Michael by driving a stake through his heart or do the same to the leader of thc Undead, which would return Michael to his normal state of being. After a little debaung, Sam convinces the brothers to kill thc leader, despite the fact they don 't know who the leader is. Dressed in arm y fatigues and equipped with gunbells packed with stakes and squirtguns , thc Frog Brothers and Sam beg in their pursuit of the American Way . Everything comes together when in Sam 's house, Uie Frog Brothers and Sam defend Michael and two other half-vampires from an attack of the remaining Undead , including their leader who has been dating Michael and Sam 's mother. In Uie end good prevails and the Frog Brothers satisfy their pursuit of the American Way, and Michael returns to normal. But this came about onl y after an incredibl y bloody vampire massacre. "The Lost Boys " was dcfineUy suspenseful and sometimes very humorous, which made it an overall good movie. " The Lost Boys " was just one of Uie man y films being offered by the Program Board. Students can look forward to future movies offered during the coming months. FOCUS gi ves f ilm opportunies I Vst*. Thc film instantl y p icks up pace when Michael , the oldest son in thc family, falls in love with Star, the girlfriend to one of the four teen vampires. Blinded by his emotions, Michael is intentionally led to thc Undead 's lair where he falls victim to thc whims of peer pressure and drinks thc blood of one of thc vampires, thus turning himself into a half-vampirc. Meanwhile, Michael's younger brother Sam learns that thc cily is being overrun by vampires from two Rambo-wannabe brothers, Edgar and Allan; better known as the Frog Brothers. The FOCUS Competition is open only to feature-length screenplays or 16mm films produced non-commercially in conjunction wiUi an American educational institution. In addition to cash and automobile prizes, all FOCUS winners are flown to Los Angeles for an expenses-paid 5-6 day stay at the Westin Bonaven- ture with FOCUS board members and film industry leaders. The winners ' stay in Los Angeles culminates in a gala FOCUS Award Ceremony, traditionally held at the Directors Guild Theatre. By offering financial support and industry recognition , FOCUS helps ensure Uiat winning studenU make the contacts necessary to break into the hi ghly competiUve film business. The professional respect the project receives is evidenced by the many prominent artists and executives who serve on FOCUS ' Boards of Judges and Governors, such as Milos Forman , Randa Haines, Robert Wise, David Puttnam , Randal Kleiser, Joe Dante, Tony Bill , Fedenco Fellini, Ingmar Bergman , Robert De Niro, Neil Simon , David Lean, Sidney Lumet , Chuck Jones, Faith Hubley, Carol Littleton , George C. Scott, Sydney Pollack, and David Wolper. FOCUS was originated 12 years ago by Nissan Motor Corporation in U.S.A. to encourage and reward students seriously concerned with Uie art of film. As FOCUS Board member Jack Lemmon said in his recent letter to the nation 's communications professors , "We can 't give shots for talent, we can 't send for it from some catalogue, we cannot even guaran tee that exposure to it will 'take'. However, we can encourage it to be the best that it can be. Whatever Uie result c,iD ond snve ¦ ^ aP/n 5* ^ ^ with Trans- Bridge Travel ^ \ IW l fl \ | jlg-^PiLEfflGH VALLEY, CLINTON] I X^OAC^ NEWARK AIRPORT & i NEW TORK CITY J ! Compare our Prices & Schedule j ! I I I B I I ¦¦ 1 ¦¦ I I ! Leaves t Bloomsburg Lclughton Sown Bus Terminal Bclhlchcm Bus Terminal Lehigh Valley Ind.Park Easton Bus Terminal Clinton - Now York City Friday; 7-50 pm nm 7.50 s.aipm 9*« pm 1 ; ,pm ?r ? *5 ,10* pm !° « pm 0:"P m \, 12:20 am Call or stop in - Carter Cut Kale 422 East Street/784-8689 and ask for Trans-Brid ge schedule effective: September 11, 1*>87 Monday, 12:15 am . 2:0S ™ 2-15 2 m *l i am i¦ | ' I ' | ^ of Uiat encouragement, to fail to do so might just kill it, and Uiat would be an unforgivcable crime." Over the past 11 years, more than 170 young filmmakers and screenwriters from more man 45 different schools have won FOCUS honors. Thc deadline for entries in the Twelfth Annual Nissan FOCUS competition is postmarked April 25, 1988. For more information , including rules booklet and entry forms, contact your school's communications, speech, film or creative writing department , or write to: FOCUS, 1140 Avenue of Uie Americas, New York , NY 10036; (215) 575-0270. In addihon to the awards competition , FOCUS exhibits its winning films at established film festivals throughout the world, and makes available winning short subjects, free of charge, for screenings at colleges, universities, museums and libraries, enabling other studen ts and educators around Uie country to share their oeers' success. The FOCUS Film "DistribuUon program is underwritten by Eastman Kodak Company Contest is open to all The Coastal Classic Poetry Contest is offering $1000 in cash prizes. Besides the $500 Grand Prize, there is a $250 First Prize, a $100 Second Prize and three Third Prizes of $50 each. All poems will be considered for publicadon in Uie "1988 American Anthology of Contemporary Poetry. " Winners will be notified by May, 1, 1988. Each poet may enter one poem , 20 lines or less, on any subject, written in any style. Poem and poet's name and address must be typed or printed on one side of a sheet of typing paper. Poet should keep a copy since entry can 't be returned. There is no entry fee for this contest. . Entries should be mailed by February 15, 1988, to the Coastal Classic Poetry Contest, Great Lakes Poetry 'ress, P.O. Box 56703, Harwood Heights, Illinois 60656. From the Glovehnx Super Sports proved popular cars byGlennSchwab offered until '63 and then it was with side msunted louvers that alFeatures Editor mainly a dress-up package consisting lowed cool outside air to be fed into In thc early 60's the Beach Boys of SS quarterpanel emblems and extra thc carburetor, increasing performwent to the top of the rock charts with chrome trim , with no engine larger ance. And performance was the a song titled "409", which was about a than the standard 194 cu. in. six cylin- watchword for this Chevelle SS beteenager who was saving his "pennies der available. cause under its hood lurked a revised and dimes to buy a brand-new 409." This was a disappointment to hot- 396 cu. in . version ofthe famed 1963 Thc 409 was Chevrolet's new-for- roddcrs ofthe time because they knew Mark II Daytona Mystery Engine, 1961 hi gh-performance V8, available the lightweight Nova would be ca- which replaced the aging 409. only in a Impal a Super Sport. The pableof excellent performance wilh a Thc 1967 Z/28 Camaro proved to be 409's engine quickl y became an auto- hot engine between its fenders. Their such an attention getter that it overmotive legend on both thc racetracks prayers were answered in 1964 when shadowed its less well known Super and street. The sight of those chrome Chevy shochorned its famous 1957 Sport cousin . While nowhere near as 409 emblems on thc fender of an Bcl Air powcrplant into thc littl e rare as thc Z, the first SS Camaro was Impala SS was more than enough to Nova, proudl y proclaiming in sales a unique car in its own right. This '67 strike fear into thc hearts of rival stop- literature , "A 283 cu. in . V8 never had as its exclusive powcrplant the light racers. found a happier home." Despite its new 350 cu.-in. small block V8. This Unfortunate ly, legends sometimes late model year introduction this new engine would prove to be incredibl y die quickly, as happened with the409. V8 Super Sport proved very popular , popular , going on to be used in milThis engine was dropped from pro- selling 10,576 units in 1964, over lions of General Motors cars up duction in late 1965 and replaced by a thirty-five percent of tolal Nova pro- through the present day. This Camaro new generation of larger displace- duction. was also a high visibility musclecar ment motors. Whi le the 409 may have This initial popularity was an indi- with large SS emblems mounted on faded from the scene, Super Sports cation of greater things to come for thc the fenders, grille and rear deck. Uncertainly didn 't. These cars went on to Nova , which came to bc a favored car fortunately, the Camaro has a relabecome the mainstay of Chevy 's per- among budget-conscious perform- tively short Super Sport history, onl y formance image in thc 60's through ance buyers, generating good sales having been produced from 1967 to the 70's. throughout its enti re model run. In 1972. Basically, Super Sports were regu- fact , thc Nova proved so popular that A latecomer to the Super Sport lar passenger cars that were outfitted its SS version was offered for 14 con- family was the Monte Carlo 454 , rewith performance options like heavy- secutive years, through 1976, making ferred to as "the fascinating ghost " by duty suspensions, Positraction rear it the longest-selling Super Sport in automotive author Terry V. Boyce axles, becfed-up four-speed manual Chevy history. due to its limited production run of transmissions and , of course, high1964 was thc year the mid-sized only 5,742 cars from ' 70 to 71. output engines. Chcvelle was introduced and natuThis poor sales showing was As mentioned , the 1961 Impala was rall y, a Super Sport model was in the mainl y because of two factors. First, the first car to carry the Super Sport lineup from the beginning. Thc Chev- in 1970 Chevy already had an abunlogo, which was originally designed elle SS remained a sedate looking car dance of performance cars so little to showcase the new engine. After the until 1966, when Chevrolet gave its publicity was given to the Mon'e. disappearance of the 409, the Impala sheetmetal a facelift that turned it into Second , while 1970 was the highSS continued to be made until 1969, the first high visibility SS, a success- point year for American automotive when it was dropped from the Impala ful attempt to cash in on the growing performance, ever-rising insurance lineup due to declining sales. "image" market. This restyling gave costs and the soon-to-be enforced The next Chevrolet car to be offered the Chevelle a mean new look, its emissions regulations mandated by in an SS version was the compact blacked-out grille emphasized by the the government put a damper on the Nova, which was an upscale version large chrome and white SS 396 em- sale of performance cars, as more of the Chevy II. Although the Nova blem set in its center. These cars also Americans began to favor luxury and debuted in 1962, an SS option wasn 't boasted a specially designed hood economy over sheer horsepower. The command staff for Air Force ROTC Spring Semester are: Row 1 (left to right) Dale Sinnot , Susan Eck , and Chad Carver. Row 2 (left to ri ght) Dave Lcr\o , Dave Lunger , Gina Walker , Ncraida Grieco , and Ksith Presing. Photo by Chris Lower BU represented at Light Exposure '88 bylmtiazAUTaj StaffWriter When ever I go to an opening of an art exhibition at Bloomsburg University , there arc some questions that come to mind. Are there any art lovers at this institution? And if there are, why aren 't they at the art exhibitions on campus? Is it thc lack of publicity which keeps the students away? Similar thoughts came lo my mind during the opening of Light Exposure '88 held last Monday. Light Exposure '88 is a national photograph y competition sponsored by Bloomsburg University and Lycoming College which is now on exhibition in Haas Gallary. Rome Hanks, the ori ginator of Light Exposure and photo instructor at BUP and Lycoming College said I started this compclition so that lhe students at Bloomsburg will be able to sec a wide variety of professional work at the national level." So, how many students saw it? Not many. This is tlie second year that Light Exposure has been held. The judge was Ken Graves, a nationally recognized photographer and a professor of art at Penn Suite University . There were 728 prints entered from all over the nation , and onl y thc top 70 prints were included in the exhibition. First place went to Joan Cassis (Baltimore , Md.), second place was awarded to Scott Borden (Tucson , Ariz.), and third place was won by Daniel Pohlman (Holly, Mich.). The three honorable mentions were Kathleen Langston (Furnace .Pa.), Mashall Lupp (Essexville, Mich.) and Imtiaz Aii Taj (Bloomsburg, Pa.). "Thc juror didn 't know any of the people who entered, and he was not given the names. That way his decision was not biased ," Hanks added. Taj was not the only BUP student whose work was chosen for exhibition. Others were Sue Kelly, Theresa Bahner , Jo Benson and Jody Hoffman. Hanks said that he is honored that five of his students were selected, cosidcring they were competing with people who have been taking pictures in the professional field for several years, and that one of them (Taj) got honorable mention. Disney offe rs hand pos itions They must bring their own instruments except piano , drum scl, timpani and xylophone. A resume and photo arc also requested. Musicians must be at least 18 years old and college students. Talent scouts will be seeking thc best of the best for Disneyland and Walt Disney World All American College Bands and Walt Disney World All American College Orchestra during January and February in thc following cities: transportation and weekly salary are provided . "Every summer is different ," said Radock. "Thc camaradrie of the kids is tremendous." Students are chosen not only for talent, but also personality For 11 weeks, from early June to and showmanship, he said. mid-August , thc All American ColEducation is an integral part of the lege Orchestra performs three shows summer program, according to Raghtly on tlie America Gardens slage ni in Walt Disney World Epcot Center. dock. The daily college workshops The All American CollcgcBands play are college-accredited and students six sels dail y in lhe Mag ic Kingdom have an oppurtunity to interact with top artists and industry spokespersons and Disneyland. for firsthand knowledge of what it More than 1,000 are expected lo takes to be a professional. audition for the 84 spols, said Bob For more information , write Disney Radock , manager of lhe Disney Entertainment Work Experience Program. Instrumcntal s Auditions '88, P.O. Box 10000, Lake Buena Vista, Fla., Interns work five days a week , eig ht 32830-1000, or call at 305/345-57 10 hours a day, including a 2 1/2 - hour from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday dailv clinic . Furnished housine. local through Friday (EST). NEW YORK CITY - Jan. 23-24. Del Terzo Studios , eiglh floor , Carnegie Hall. WASHING TON, D.C. - Jan. 26, Catholic Univers i ty of America School of Music,. BOSTON - Jan. 21, New England Conservatory. There are openings for 44 in the orchestra and 20 in cach band. Auditions arc "informal"; students may walk in from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on thc scheduled days and must play five minutes of their own prepared selection and sight read. , i — | This comedian was just one of the comedians who performed at the Comedy Cabaret held in Kehr Union Monday. Photo by Chris Lower Larson tells of his life and work from page 4 way between sleep and wakefulness. Semi-conscious. Ernie walked over to me carrying his jar of whip scorpions and nonchalantly dumped them all into my sleeping bag. I was brough t into full wakefulness by the sound of Ernie laughing hysterically. He was just standing there and holding the empty jar. I heard his laughter. And then I saw the jar, which I suddenly realized as the ja r, now vacant. And I realized what he had done." mouse tails prominently displayed in his car window. He was working, at the time, a!s an anti-cruelty investigator for the Humane Society. He had forgiven Ernie that one, but the whip scorpions caused him to join forces with other Emie-victims and enter the perpetrator's apartment in a stealthy fashion. "Originally," Larson says, "we had thoughts of filling his house with live chickens. Serious thoughts. But we finall y decided on the hippo manure. "And I came out of that sleeping bag Fifty pounds. In the bathtub. I think it real fast. And didn 't even consider the made quite an impression." zipper." Larson notes that ever since that It was a typical Ernie joke, Larson says. "All of his jokes have the com- day, Ernie has stopped the practical mon theme of horror. That 's how jokes. He notes this in a somewhat Ernie lets you know he likes you. And cautious manner. "I am really reluctant to discuss the remember, the scorpions weren't poimatter ofthe hippo manure," he says. sonous. Ernie would never have thrown "If Ernie ever thought that it was poisonous ones in there. That 's what I punitive in nature, well, he would be highly offended. He would almost mean by his normal moments." certainl y strike back. In a dangerous Nevertheless, the whip scorpions manner. There s no chance of this paper led directly to the Hippopotamus Manure Revenge. It had been bad ending up in Seattle, is there? I mean, enough, Larson says, when Ernie cut really. Is there?" the tails off a bunch of frozen mice I make no promises. You spill your (snake food) and tied them together into a fringe and taped them across the guts on the East Coast, I tell him , you rear window of Larson 's car. And take your chances. And then I bring up Larson, innocently thinking that it the ugly business of the Hit Dog. Back in the late '70s, Larson was was only a piece of shag carpet hanging back here, drove to hisjob with the driving his Plymouth Duster down a country road near Tacoma, Wa., on his way to an interview for the anticruelty investigation job with the Humane Society when he hit a dog. Is that a FarSide cartoon or whatl "I want to make something very clear," Larson replies. "I'm not at all proud of that incident. I was on my way to the interview and this bunch of mutts suddenly ran across the road. And I hit the last one in the bunch. I mean , he ran off afterwards, but I know I reall y thumped him. I think I thumped him pretty bad." "People hear about that and they look at me like these kinds of things happen to me all the time. Like it's something I would find amusing . But being involved in it wasn't funny at all. Really. I mean, I'm the kind of person who will swerve off the road to avoid hitting a small frog. I mean, I'll swerve off the road and hit humans or something to avoid hitting a small frog." I tell Larson that sounds like a Far Side idea. This man swerves off the road to avoid a small frog and plows through a bunch of people and then brings the car to a screeching halt and wipes the sweat off his brow and says, "Whew ! That was a close one!" Larson looks at me like he is shocked and mortified at the mere thought of such a cartoon. Then the ghoulish grin creeps slowly across his face. And he says, "Hmmmm..." HE^B-^-N^E.^-^'HI^IE^^H 1 , * '?K^T*i^--7 B8B8S&J^ BIB 'Z: '•¦ '. 7* WS-*-9UB8S "^^3\A * fr r**W. •'• * '¦« ^**mw**iu!?7Tf ^y .^MBM^HH^^^HBI fp - **\\*g ' ^OBIB LW ¦' i & s J J ^ ^ B m 9 m j * ^ - *9tJ^WHI^^^^Bi^HB **^^*^^* *^*W****\**W*\**W ^ffl«.*^^F'jgjfeMffllcWHH Jostens Gold Sale. For one week only. Order and save on the gold ring of your choice. 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"M T Wt^^**mm *m— *t----i±---- — * > » W » *t* ^ MM IHI- I I I BII H I IIM I ^M ¦* M--mmmmmmM-aM-M -mmi--Mm i*Hfc ^. l imwli i AMSTERDAM ATHENS BELFAST BELGRADE BONN BRUSSELS BUDAPEST CARDIFF COPENHAGEN DOUGLAS EAST BERLIN HELSINKI LUXEMBOURG MADRID i n¦ mmmmm **%Mt*m-m by Berke Breathed BLOOM COUNTY MONACO NICOSIA OSLO PARIS PRAGUE REYKJAVIK ROME SOFIA THE HAGUE TIRANA VALLETTA VIENNA WARSAW CLASSIFIEDS & PERSONALS NEED TYPING DONE? Experienced typist will type term papers, resumes, thesis, etc. Reasonable rate. Call Pat at 784-4437 I CRUISE SHBPS NOW HIRING M/F THE FAR SIPE By GARY LARSON ld ° rGuo °* VrS> S, Something For Everyone MONDAYNIGHTS 5 pm-9pm AH you can eat spaghetti $3.00 under 21 welcome Free delivery ni ghtl y Lg. pizza $4.00 L g. ch. Steak $3.75 Ch. Fries $1.50 M ^ When car chasers dream Friday G Saturday Nights 5pm-12am Lg. Pizza $3.00 THE FAR SIDE By GARY LARSON *In House Only 784-9462 or 784-9895 Our F amous Beer Bash HOMEWORKERS WANTED! TOP PAY! C.I. 121 24th Ave., N.W. Suite 222 Norman , OK 73069 ATTENTION B U ! The 1988 Student Calendars will be on sale this week in the Union and Bookstore. They're HOT! ATTENTION: All Party Animals 21 & over. Come experience the debut of Hazlcton's hottest band WIDE OPEN. Featuring one of your very own with a sound and lightshow unmatched in N.E. PA. The place lo be this Friday is at Dirty Harrys 10-2am, located four miles north on Iron Street (Route 42). Don't miss it!!! HEY GEORGE MICHAEL!! -1 moved! Are you going to come "visit me?" What is the best way to unleash your fantasies? Happy 18th Birthday Danielle. We love you!! - Mom, Dad, Amanda & Doug Hey BU! The 1988 Student Calendar is back! Pick one up at the University store or the union — They are HOT!! Hey Kelly - We are so glad to have you at The Pine Street Suite! Hope you're having a blast! Hello my sweetheart! Pretty good surprise, huh? How's life in the fast Is anyone ready for another semester of cocktails at The Suite? We lane? When are you going to make are. lots of money so that you can wine and dine me and possibly (hopeKaren & Patti - The countdown is fully) take advantage of me? Don 't on. How many more days are left let Dolores and Frank see that one. in your single lives!! Are we still on for our date in February? I'm looking forward to it. Lori - Congratulations on SMTC! I Well, take care and I'm linking knew you could do it. about you. Love, your Hon-Hon. Luv va. Duck I [ VOICE Tues., Wed., G Thurs. CLASSIFIEDS The best dance music in town 10pm-12am Check For Coming Specials •At | The Lo