Profs Converse
on Intellectuals

Wives
Exhibit
at BSC
An art exhibit has been opened
in the Haas Auditorium Art
Gallery by the Faculty Wives
Association.
On display from 2 to 4 p.m.
each day until Thursday,
February 4, 1971, the exhibit will
feature the works of association
members including paintings in
oil and water color, paintings on
wood , calligraphy, prints ,
ceramics, and sculpture in stone
and wood.
Members of the committeewho
are organizing and hanging the
show are Evon Nossen, Mary
Jane Roberts, and Doro thy
Wilson.
Some of the artists represented
in the exhibition are .Eleanor L.
"Well, Jesse had a wife," the
Herre , Kit Jackson , Marie
old
ballad goes, "that mourned
Rhodes, Judith Savage, Mary
for
his
life — three children they
Scarpino, and Margot Zoppetti.
were brave. But that dirty little
coward that shot Mr. Howard,
laid Jesse James in his grave."
Jesse James has been dead for
150 years, but his spirit lives on.
It is being- preserved by three
rock musicians from Cleveland
who perform like old Jess robbed
banks; hard driving, fast, heavy,
yet impeccable, precise, neat,
funky and imaginative. Strangely
enough, they call themselves
THE JAMES GANG and are
stealing the show on the U.S.
music scene.
THE JAMES GANG, comprised of guitarist Joe Walsh,
bassist Dale Peters , and
drummer Jim Fox , have
received nothing but rave
reviews from rock columnists
and are generally lauded as the
band other bands listen to. Pete
Townshend , lead guitarist for the
WHO and composer of the rock
opera TOMMY, claims that while
on tour ".. .I'd play YER ALBUM
Shapiro and Srathon
(THE JAMES GANG'S first on
Splictrs of Groovo Tub*
Bluesway Records) even if I had
to lose four hours of sleep to do it.
. .drive five hours to a record
player to play it." Townshend
also said of THE JAMES GANG ,

Wanted: James Gang
Alive , Headed for BSC

Groove
on Tube

Kickoff in the Spring Artists
and Lect ure Ser i es i s a reall y new
ki nd of show , The Groove Tube .
What is a Groove Tube? It is a
bunch of skits put on video ta pe
and pro jected by closed circuit

Letters

The M&G would like to know
what YOU think of the new
scheduling procedure. Write a
short letter and drop it in Box 301,
Waller Hall. Speak out , you have
a right to be heard.

TV on t o t hree mon it ors. I t is a
new ki nd of t hea t re , a dar t game TV spoofing hits a medley of
in wh ich television itself is the commercials for beauty and
h y giene , deodoran t sp rays ,
target.
sham p oos, soa ps , salves , wi t h
The basis of most Groov e Tube shot s of gorgeous females , all t o a

humor is incongruity . A hint —
one satire is the Thirty-fourth
Annual Sex Games in which Curt

background
music and
Vaseline. I t
with humor

of velvety organ
a flow of Verbal
dips into ribaldr y
and invectlveness.

Christina , the West Germa n
Four
performances
are
Team , must win anoth er 19 poin ts
scheduled
in
Haas
Audi
torium
on
aggressive
the
against
Tuesday
and
Wednesday
,
Canadians , all this described by
February
2
and
3.
Afternoons
at
3
a pair of Olympic Sportcasters.
p.m. and evenings at 8:15. Ticke t
All the nonsense is more comic will be available in the SUB and
than erotic laughing at the phony the Student Bank Office. Seats
aplomb of commentators who are limited to 250 per perhave a glib word — for anythin g. formance.

"They are destined to be one of
the major names on the
American rock scene."
Jim Fox, the drummer, writes
some of THE JAMES GANG'S
material and plays violin, viola ,
cello, piano, guitar, bass, organ ,
trumpet, trombone, oboe and
bassoon, in addition to the drums.
It is surprising that he even needs
two other guys to play with.
Rale Peters^ the newest
member of the group which has
been together four years, plays
(continued en page

"71 GRADS"
This i« your last chance to
have you r yearbook
portraits taken. Sign up sheet s
for February 8th and °th ,
are outside the Obit er office
— second
floo r, Waller,
Room 231. Sign up NOWM

The Department of Foreign himself an interpreter of Newton
Languages of Bloomsburg State and Locke to the French people.
College is sponsoring a series of Professors Smitner and Richman
evening colloquies on the have published on Johnson ,
History of Ideas. Dr. Eric Descartes, Rousseau , Locke, and
Smitner of the Foreign Language other writers of the period .
Department will supervise the
The most recent discussion was
sessions.
on January 27. Professor Larmi
At each of the sessions, two of the Philosophy Department
professors will outline the con- and Professor Gildea of the
tributions of two figures in our Political Science Department ,
intellectual past, then discuss spoke of Hobbes and Locke
them with each other and with respectively .
those in the audience who wish to
Both men brought out the inexpress their views.
consistencies and confusions
All of the series which will be within each man 's life. One of the
held in the Faculty Lounge of the main points brought out through
Ba keless Center for the the audience was the differences
Humanities at 8:00 p.m. are in Locke's and Hobbes' views on
open to the entire college com- absolute government.
munity and area residents.
Other figures to be covered in
The first discussion , in later sessions are Diderot and
December, was on Swift and Jefferson—February 24, Pascal
Voltaire. It was presented by Dr. and Newton—March 9, Conte and
Eric Smitner and Dr. Jordan J. S. Mill—March 24, Bergson
Richman , a member of the and Santayana—April 6, Freud
English Department. Dr. Rich- and Proust—April 21, and Croci '
man spoke on Jonathan Swift and Camis—May 4.
whose satirical commentaries on
Dates will be announced later
false conceptions of his age place
him in a position relative to for the following sessions: F.
Bacon and Descartes, Vico and
Voltaire in France.
Gassendi, Keynes and Marx,
Dr. Smitner reviewed con- Rousseau and Dewey , and
tributions to Voltaire who was in Einstein and Russell.

Haas done in oil

An oil portrait of Dr. Francis B. art exhibits, concerts, and lecHaas, for whom Haas Auditorium tures for members of the college
on the BSC campus was named, community and residents of the
was unveiled at Wednesday surrounding
area .
Haas
night 's Bloomsburg Civic Music Auditorium and Andruss Library
Association Concert featuring were dedicated at a convocation
pianist Patricia Michaelian in on October 2, 1967.
Haas Auditorium . Mr. and Mrs.
William A. Lank commissioned
Dr. Francis B. Haas became
Mrs. Eleanor Herre to paint the Principal of the Bloomsburg
portrait which will hang in the State Teachers College in April,
The Brothers of Lambda Chi main lobby . Mr. Lank serves as 1927, and shortly after was
Alpha announce the initiation of President of the Board of named President of the College .
sixteen new brothers. The 1970 Trustees at BSC.
He left Bloomsburg in 1939 to
Pall Pledge Class consisted of
com- become Superintendent of
Haas
Auditorium
was
Jim Cielinski , Mike Costanzo , pleted in August , 1967 at a cost of Public Instruction for the
Jim Digris , Paul Hoffman , Bill approximately $1,200,000 , and Commonwealth of Pennsylvania,
Hollick , Jim Disbaug h , Tom has since become a focal point for a position he had prev iously held
Lesjak , Denny Martin , Pete Nell, outstanding theatre productions. for a two year period prior to his
Bill Oblas , Roger Savage , John
Bloomsburg appointment.
Smith , Milton Spotts , Gary
Williams , Bill Wilson , an d Doug
Dr. Haas was known as an able
Yocum .
administrator and leading
On January 26, 1971, the new
educator long before he came to
officers were installed ; Mickey
Bloomsburg. Shortl y after his
Sauers , president; John Smith ,
graduation
from
Temple
vice president; Rick Schildt ,
University in 1913, h e began a
secre t ar y ; J oh n McE l wee ,
career i n ed uca ti on wh i c h
College Council at the first spanne d more th an f our d ecades
treasurer; Jim Digris, pledge
educator ; Pau l Ho ff man , rus h mee ti ng of th e secon d semester and terminated only when he
DeSilver , on Wednesday, January 27,
Bob
chairman ;
Doug
Yocum , discussed the selection of a retired as Superintendent of
ri tualist ;
; Gary faculty representative and
chairman
scholarship
Public Instruction in 1955. He
Williams , Social chairman ; Tom established a committee to in- earned his Master of Arts degree
Lesjak , Sgt.-at-arms ; John vestigate dismissal proceedings at the University of PennLines , historian ; and Joe of students .
sy l van i a , his Doctor of Pedagogy
President Nossen's re ply to the degree from Temple University ,
Wieczorek , IF'C representative.
Lambd« Chi extends sincere previous meeting's m i nutes was and was the recipient of
thanks to the members of the focuse d on Tom Brennan 's numerous honor ary doc tor ' s
who motion for the establishment of a degrees .
community
college
daily news report. The President
our
fund
making
d
in
cooperate
felt , although it's a worthwhile
a
success.
raising effort
he came to Bloomsburg
pro j ect , it would be "pablum in When
ites
all
inv
The Brotherhood
1927, he helped plan and
rushes to the rush meetings to be feeding" of the student body and execute changes which made the
held in the Alumni Room on he encouraged Council to instit ution a college in fact as
February 3 at 7 p.m., and reconsider the motion.
well as in name. A new era of
Tom Brennan made a motion to scholasti
February 9 at 9 p.m. in the
c develop ment
Lambda Chi Alpha house at 360 ta ble the news report until the expansion began under and
his
( continued on page tight)
East Street.
direction .

Brothers

Council
Con ve n es

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Chick Check

wrappers , navel fuzz , et<\
by Paul Savka
Finding the chick who Another thing to watch out for is
possesses "all" the finer qualities the girl who hangs out in the
is sometimes a frustrating task. library stacks and reads National
Chances are your "special girl" Geographic sandwiched between
will be a compromise with all the cover of "War and Peace" to
your instilled , romantic ideals. It admire a few pictures of naked
won 't matter if she has the body natives.
Here are ten basic questions to
of Phyllis Diller , the freckles of
Howdy Doody , or the laugh of ask yourself about a chick :
1. Is She a Gourmet? This is
Woody Woodpecker, she will be
the top Playboy Bunnie of 1970 or important or you can 't even get
Raquel Welch in your love- jello to set. If she is a gourmet
and her favorite dish is Cream of
blinded eyes.
What should a guy look for in a Wheat with diced mushrooms
chick? It is usually what he and slivered almonds, you are
doesn 't want that dominates his ready for question two.
2. Is She an Athlete ? Does she
choice. Who wants a girl who
sleeps with her white socks on, play jacks and paddle ball for
carries a photo of a car 's engine physical exercise? This is a
from the center fold of Popular positive point for you if you can 't
Mechanics in her wallet, or who even do three forward rolls off a
finds excitemen t in going dutch couch without getting a bloody
treat to a Home Show at the nose.
3. Is She Romantic? Does she
Armory?
Here are certain "cool it" expect you to send her a potted
signals to look for. Does she plant every Groun d Hog Day?
persist in calling her father "Da
4. Is She Peti te and
everything
Wholesome? Does she have a
Da"? Does she save
—empty oatmeal boxes, back tattoo of Heloise over her heart
editions of Field and Stream , her encircled with a garland of nylon
gold-starred , first grade Weekly net. . .this will take a little exReaders , sticky Mallo Cud
(continued on page eight )

VOL. IL THE MAROON AND GOLD
Bill TeiUworth
Editor-in-Chief
Business Manager
Managing Editor
News Edito r
Co-Feature Editors
Sporta Editor
Copy Editor
Co-Circulation Mgr ».
Photo Editor
Art Edi t or
Advi sor ..

NO. *3

dor Re m sen
Tom Funk
Sam Trapane
Jim Saehotti
Tarry Blass
Jack Hoffman
Linda Ennis
Pat Heller
Carold Kishb augh
Mark Foucar t
John Sturgln
Kenneth C. Hoffm an

Calpln , Jim Cha pman ,
Karon Gable , Pam
,
Duckw
orth
Lora
l
o,
Carmon Clu
Hlelco y, Andre * Hoffman, Cathy Jack , Karon Koina rd,
Sehofteld, Olan Spottt , Suat
Cindy Mlehonor , Tom
Sprao ue, Frank Pluofi, Jesse James, Ha rri s Wolfe, Paul
Savka, Dave Kelter.

STAFF: Shelley B runo xxl , Kato

All opinions expressed ! by columnis ts and feature writers ,
Includi ng lette r-to-the-ed ltor, w not necessarily those
of the pub lication but those of Individuals.
Call Ext. 121 or Write HI

Dro p - Add Debot chery
by allan maurer
An awful lot of frustrated
people got a lot more frustrated
outside the BSC registrar's office
door last Wednesday. I could tell
they were frustrated by the way
they kept taking the door off the
hinges.
Sometimes (not often) the door
opened. At these momentous
occasions a variety of things
happened . Small people up fron t
became smaller people trampled
on the tile floor. Once a hand
slipped around the barely opened
orifice and threw a mess of dropacfd sheets into the crowd .
Usually , however , a strange
vacuum of some sort just sucked
a few of those in the front ranks
into the office and the door would
close again.
Outside the door students
waited. And waited: WAITED.
Students knocked on the" door.
Students chanted. Students
talked about how rotten this
system is. But mostly , students
waited. At intervals of half an
hour to forty-five minutes the
locked door opened.
A little before noon one morning, the door opened and a sad
looking secretary pushed back
the first few students attempting
to squirm into the office.
"I'm sorry " she said , sounding
tired , but not very sorry , "but
we're closing to eat now. We 'll be
back in two hours. Come back in
two hours."
"I've been here two hours," a
student called out .
I'm sorry , we have to eat ," the
secretary said.
"So do we," answered a brighteyed lass who had classes
scheduled from ten to two every
Monday,
Wednesday, and
Friday, and couldn 't make
commons' lunch hours.
A similar incident occurred
when a bespectacled gentleman
opened the door at about 4:10 one
afternoon and said , "On ly eight
more today." Only about a
hundred people groaned . The rest
were too tired and disgusted to
make the effort.
"Be civilized , ...be civilized ,"
Bespectacled man said as a
longhaired male besieged him.
"Just be civilized and I'll talk
to you about this " the man from
the registrar 's office repeated.
"Civilized?" the student
questioned a bit cynically. "This
is civilized? This is ridiculous.
You try waiting out here for three
hours just to have someone tell
you to go away and see how
goddamned civilized you feel ."
"You gonna use this idiot
system again next semester?" a
student yelled out .
"They 're dum b enough to, "
came the answer from another
student , invisible in the pulsating
crowd .
The man at the door , obviously
strained , attempted to defend
himself.
"Tomorrow Mr. Bunge will be
back and we 'll be able to ta ke
twice as man . " udents " he said.
"Oh , wow , ' a student
responded "tomorrow they 'll
take ten an hour ."
The man a t the door made an
effort to answer coherent
questions , handed out drop-add
sheets (which some students had
wa ited hours for ) and closed the
doo r once more.
Earl ier i n t he a ft ern oon si m i lar
occurrenc es me t ever y op en ing
of t he re gist rar 's door .
"Don 't you guys have anythin g
better to do?" a st uden t called
out at one such door party .
The woman at the door apparen tly didn 't hear him , but the
studen t answered himself , "I
do ," and st ruggled out of t he
crowd , out the door and Into the

wind .

At one point a studen t complained "I've been waiting here
for hours."
"It won 't kill you ," the
secretary answered.
Another time a tall, blonde girl
tdid a man at the door , "My back
hurts."
"Why , you 're not standing on
your back" someone said.
"No," she responded, "but it
sure feels like someone else is".
The students had a few comments while the door was closed
too. One studen t coming down the
Ben Franklin stairway called to
the crowd "Is this the registrar's
office?"
"No," one of the students
replied "it's the gas oven and
we're all doomed ."
The registrar's secretary was
fighting her way throug h the
mass of students to get into the
office at one point , and her going
became easier after a group of
students called out , "let her in ,
she's going to tell God Let wanna
see him ."
One petite young lady looked up
at a tall male at her side and said
"My feet aren 't touching the
floor. "
Later , I wandered through the
crowd and asked people what
they thought of the whole thing.
"It's worse than Pearl Harbor ," a student said.
"They 're gonna draft me
before I get in there," another
answered , adding, "I scheduled
16 credits and got 9."
"The whole thing seems typical
of something I'd expect to happen
at BSC ," a girl told me.
"Who cares. I don 't care about
anything
anymore " one
discouraged student responded
before blowing cigarette smoke
in my face.
"It doesn't seem very intelligent ," a slooped-shouldered
lass wearing granny glasses
and hair to her waist said.

"These unprintables ought to
have their unprintable , unprintables unprintabled right
through an unprintabl e unprintable ," an obviously upset
gentleman reported with unprintable glee.
After a long, ' long day of
assorted horror stories much like
the preceding tale, the seldom
seen people in the registrar 's
office came to the amazing
conclusion that things might
work a little better if an appointment schedule were worked
out .
Perhaps, you were one of the
lucky few who had no scheduling
problems? (I haven't met any
such animal yet, and I'm not sure
I believe in them).
Hundreds of students still could
not get their questions answered
except by yelling them at one of
the haggard-lookirlg figures who
periodicall y appeared from
behind the registrar's office door
where appointments were
worked out .
It is evident from what is
quickly becoming known on
campus as the drop-add debacle
that a computer is completely
incapable of dealing with the
mass of human variables that
affect student scheduling. It is
not possible, at least not with the
current staff and equipment at
BSC, for a computer to take into
account the variables such as a
student's work schedule, ability
to get early classes, need to eat at
a certain hour, etc . It may be
possible for ' human beings to
rectif y a computer's failings, but
if the resul t is to be the drop add
problem met this time around , a
lot of time , money , and worry pay
for the mistake. Wouldn 't it be
better not to make it?
After the final analysis ,
however , it won 't be possible to
blame the drop-add debacle on a
computer. Unless you don 't
believe in people.

Let ters
To the editor :

To the editor :

While waiting, along with
coun tless others, to have my
schedule changed at the
registrar 's office , I observed twc
incidents which point to an in
tolerable situation .

The question of whether or not
a coalition government should be
set up in Viet Nam has been
asked numerous times . A
coalition government with the
communists has been tried ; most
recently in Laos. According to the
Geneva Convention of 1962, a
deadline of 75 days was set for
removal of all foreign troops
from Laos. The agreement of
neutralization and coalition for
Laos was signed and the communists plus other groups were
given a voice in the new Laotian
Government. Then the communists refused to participate in
the newly-formed government,
even though they said they would.
When the United States withdrew
its 600 advisors, North Viet Nam
built up its troop strength in Laos
to over 40,000 men . As can be
seen, North Viet Nam rejected a
solution to the Laoti an problem.
Failures of coalition govern men ts wh ich ha d communis t
partie s are numero us. " F or
instance in Eastern Europ e at the
end of World War Two in
coun t r i es
l i ke
P oland ,
Czechoslovak i a , and Romania ,
there were coalition governments
i n which t he communis ts were
minorities . But , after a few y ears
the communist minority with the
help of the Red Ar my established
a typ ical communi st dicta t orship
in all of Eastern Europe by
simply supp ress ing all ot her

First , an employee from the
Data Processing office tried ,
without success, to get into the
Registrar 's office. His business
had nothing directly to do with
that of the rest of us, but that
made no difference . The door
never opened .
Second , a professor , trying to
arran ge classroom space for over
700 students for the next morning,
was similarly denied entrance.
The of fice telephone, she st a t ed ,
rema ined unanswered .

I t i s bad enough t ha t we have
b een sub jected to such id iot ic
Bungeling ; I can hardly believe
that no one with any authority in
this college foresa w Ihe
i nev it able schedul i ng st am pede.
But when t he machiner y of our
Registrar 's office is so crip pled
that it can ' t take care of ur gen t
problems unrelated to the hundreds of not -so-urgent class
chan ges , the situation is
dan gerousl y close to chaos .
When w ill the adminis t ration
learn that people cannot and will
not be t rea t ed like punched
cards ? It never works.
CarlP. Nauroth

(cont inu ed en pane eiqht )

Fif th Col umn
by Blass

"I am nqt a number — I am a
free man!"— Patrick McGoohan
as "The Prisoner "
"There can be no worse fate in
the world than getting up at 7:00
in the morning and looking at yer
corn flakes knowing that you got
up at 7.00 to go to an 8:00 class of
square dancing. " — an un-named
student. '

breaks (very logical , this Spectra
70; Mr. Spock would love it) .. .or
the people who don 't get enough
credits because the computer
saw a conflict and automatically
killed the course. . .or the poor
slobs who find they can 't work
with these hours, and if they can 't
get work , they can 't stay here. .
.Horror stories. People herded in
Every time I walk through the lines the likes of which haven 't
tunnel from the Waller post office been seen since Woodstock. .
to Student Union I feel just like .with just as many turned away.
Patrick McGoohan in the opening
scenes of "The Prisoner." This Rudeness of all sorts on the part
week only more so, with dashes of of the secretaries, who, at least ,
Kafka and Orwell and visions of are hum an . . .at least the kids
mechanized molochs — Oh, wait, have been beautiful, with that
hold it , you administrators out funeral parlor humor one finds
there, you guys who started this after accidents, murder , bomb
scares, rapes, and other assorted
beautiful botch , you schmucks disasters, the kind of humor that
who bought a Spectra 70 from makes someone scrawl "EnHarrisburg and then found out ya trance — God willing " on the sign
at the Registrar 's office. .
had to justify it by using it for .Horror stories. Whew , I've seen
more than just parking every Frankenstein and Dracula
violations, yeah, you know who flick ever made, and a lot of
you are ; you probably can't science fiction, .but THIS . The
robots of those movies were
understand a word of this. Allow friendly
. . .ya never saw Robby
me to momentarily lapse into a or Gort play
God over 4,000 lives.
jargon which may be more
familiar and palatable to you :
And besides, the owners of Robby
and Gort were WISE men.
Hello, my name is 196-38-8816. Contrary perhaps to the situation
My draft card number is 36- here.
50-51-103. 1 am 5 feet 5, weigh 126
pounds, and am 19 years, 10
The temptation is to storm Ben
months of age. I have a kumquat Franklin with torches, like in the
grapefruit hanging over my bed old Frankenstein flicks when the
peasants
the castle .
and I once slept with a pet Frustration burn
breeds
tempmonkey. But you know that tation . . .but there such
must
be a
already, it's somewhere in the better way. Speaking
out.
Hard,
files. - fast , before this can happen
again.
Maybe by now you think I'm
angry. Naw, I'm not angry.
Yeah, we tried once before. The
B.S.C. is a good school : a M&G asked for letters regarding
teaching degree from this place the new scheduling system last
carries one heckuva lot of weight, semester. We got them , 30 at
maybe more so than one from least , one with 33 signatures.
any other state college. How long (These figures are from a slightly
can a school go on this way? The misty memory. . .excuse please,
last two years have seen B.S.C. but the hum an anatomy has yet
dragged through the mud of to find a place to store an
lawsuits; we've seen violations of adequate supply of memory
academic freedom , axing of profs tapes). Sure, we stomped into
Mr. 'Bungel' s, uh , BUNGE' s
for as trivial reasons as giving off
ice and told him people were
mad.
He looked surprised , totally
optional finals. We 've seen
that people dared
unaware
brilliant profs, tops of their
question
the
Spectra 70. So we
graduating classes, thrown out .
follow
our letters page ,
told
him
to
We've just this semester seen 150200 kids, nobody seems to know
And then we found out the
computer
system had been school
how many exactly, thrown out for
policy
since
last summer and
low culms, even though these
't
a
weren
damned thing we could
kids were working under the
do about it. Those letters never
assumption of one semester to got to Pr. Nossen like we'd
make up a possible bad one. Pilot promised . HOWEVER
or no Pilot , they were never told
otherwise. Now they're gone.
I believe we were told that the
How much longer can B.S.C. Registrar would issue a
continue like this? At the rate at questionnaire , cuz I seem to
which good profs have been recall the implication that the
weeded out , I think it will be new system would be scratched if
difficult for B.S.C. professorships enough people bitched . Now 's the
to attract even rejects from old time , folk. Write. Do something,
re-runs of "Mr. Novak". And the pass a petition through yer dorm.
kids will be no better. So how
much longer can a dministrators And then when your questionsit on this hellish hill and act like na ire or whatever comes later in
the semester, do that too. But
write
us first . Please. Because
Gods? How long?—Naw , I'm not
the line of mistakes
though
even
angry . I just LOVE the Great and
complaints
outside Bunge 's
Benevolent Administration and
replac i ng Jesus Ch r i st as an office looks like a cast of Cecil B.
object of worship. Except excuse Dem ill e ex t ras f or an Exod us
me if I get a little burned when scene , even though people waited
the Gods I'm told to worship two h ours on ly to learn they
aren 't
even
men ,
but needed the ir boss 's si gnat ures ,
MACHINES.
even though things are so obThis Spectra 70 RCA computer- viously fouled up down and
scheduling fiasco is a monster. sidewa y s, a new semester st ar ted
Literally . Gawd , the horror without the last' s gra des, even
stories I've heard . . .the square though all these horror stories
dancing thing, someone else with are goi ng on , Mr , Bunge , wh en
her Mondays, Wednesdays, and asked on January 27th if the new
Fridays set up with 8:00s, t hen
some in between before her 6:30- system is worse than the old , says
9:30 class. . .or the poor it's too early to tell yet. . .and
schlubswith 5 classes in a row. no THAT'S a horror story.

Ah well, some horror stories
have good endings. Even The
Prisoner got out of the Village.
Like the time when things were
being manipulated by something
called the General. . .only the
General turned out to be the
monster computer of all time ,
programming and filing and
diligently subjugating people .
Only the Prisgot a mite peeved , ya
see, when he learned that the
General was no dictator , no mere
politician , not even a military
ass. . Just a MACHINE . So ole
McGoohan asked the General a
question . . .three letters, four
strokes of the typewriter. . .the
one question unanswerable by
either man or a super
multigeneration whizmachine. .
.the question which made the
General cough, belch smoke,
blow its stacks, destroying itself
in an exploded confusion . . .in
helplessness to answer one
question. . .three letters .

jim sachetti
Bloom sburg State University
Office of the Registar
September , 1983
"Bring in the next group of
students ."
"Yes Sir."
A sliding door opens and from
his home in the wall , Robot
BN286G18E glides out and
presses the entrance button . Ten
very sullen students shuffle into
the room and the door clangs
shut.
The Registrar speaks: "Take
off your clothes ."
The students do as they are
told. Naturally, the group is all
male , for BSU is a very
respectable school and it does
have an image to maintain.
The Registrar again : "When
your number is called , you will
step forward and answer all
questions put to you . "268-034121."
A tall muscular fellow steps
before the Registrar 's throne.
"Down on your hands and
knees."
He obevs.

"What is your major?"
"Physical Education ."
"And what is your cumulative
average? "
"3.2."
"You are a tight end on the
BSU football team , are you not?"
"Yes Sir."
"And did you not drop a pass in
the third quarter of the
University of Southern California
versus BSU game?"
"Yes Sir, but I can..."
"Silence. I will tolerate no
excuses. You shall receive one
X."
"Oh no..no, please..."

."WHY?"
So. Maybe if enough of us yell
WHY? and state our particular
cases, maybe if we demand for
once instead of request, maybe
things will work out . The box
number for the M&G is 301. And
maybe we 'll even set up
waystations for deposits of
complaints . And we'll get things
to the proper people. So, until we
meet again , this is not , repeat ,
NOT , 196-38-8816, but a people,
saying it's your move. So, until
we meet again , repeat after me,
"Silence."
rising voices in unison and not to
Another
door slides open and
mention 3-part harmony and
Robot
BK18NG3AM
appears. It
choreography :
moves forward , a white hot
"I am not a num ber—I am a branding iron in each metal claw.
He approaches the helpless Phys.
FREE MAN!"

L oos e

by
Tom Schof ield
The moment I received my
schedule card , I sensed that'
something was wrong. Let me
first explain my background : 1
am a male freshman , second
semester , with a total of sixteen
credits to my name. So you can
imagine my discomfort when I
received Elementary Numerical
Analysis, Vertebrate Physiology ,
Adv anced Phrenology , Slimnasties and Volleyball , and
Cryptology II.
After winding my way through
the myriad of please-place-yourcard-number-six and driver
registration and a number of
soliciting organizations , I
decided to have my schedule
rearranged, and so proceded to
the Office of the Registrar .
upon arriving, m y ey es were
assaulted by a sea of humanity ,
pitching and rolling in the
hallway of the basement of Ben
Franklin. "No matter ," I said to
myself , "I can wait ," and dove in
with the rest , jostling, bumping ,
trying to get a glimpse of the door
of the Registrar 's Office.
Several hours later , I was
awa kened by the roar of t he f ifty
or so students who still remained .
"What was that? What happened?", I asked a bleary-eyed
girl who was standing in front of
me. I think she said that the
Registrar was going to start
seeing people or something. I
couldn 't really hear her too well
because we were so packed that
she had her face in my chest and

scr eVS/

it kind of muffled her voice. (It
kind of stifled her breathing too ,
because she fainted a little bit
later. Lucky for her there was no
place to fall.)
I couldn 't imagine that any
conscientious school would only
start seeing students now , but
then it hit me. Yes sir , a sign that
had been hanging on the wall fell
down and hit me in the head. I
turned it over and read:
"Schedule changes will be
handled daily from 9:00 to 11:00
a.m. and 2:00 to 4:00 p.m." It was
3:30 then and I was about threehundredth in line so I quit the
place.
The following few days were
not much different , no matt er
what time I came I never got
within five yards of the door , and
no matter how long I stayed, they
would only take four students
every half-hour.
Then , late Thursday night , I
h ear d a rumor th at they were
putting out sheets for students to
sign for appointments. The sheets
were put out discreetly before the
office hours and it was up to the
student to get to the sheets before
they were filled. About this time ,
I was ready to try anything so I
planned my strategy that night
and waited.
I d idn 't have long to wait
because I set my alarm clock for
1:30 a.m. and went to bed at
twelve. I rose, dressed quickly
and ran to Ben Franklin. I flun g
open the door and witnessed a
scene that would have made a
(continutd on page tight )

Ed. student from the rear and
there is a sudden scream .
Bearing his Student ID Number
and his disciplinary X, he is taken
to the next room to receive his
pre-planned schedule. As a
further reminder that he should
never drop passes, his schedule
has been arranged so that he may
not eat lunch , four days of the
week.
"201-9064, come forward anc
kneel. What is your major ." '
"Sociology ."
''Another
potential
troublemaker. What is your
cumulative average?"
"3.8."
"I understand that you decided
to not take the 'optional' final
offered by one of your former
professors."
"Yes Sir."
"Are you aware of what
became of your former instructor?"
"Yes Sir ."
"Then you will understand that
the punishment you are about to
receive is quite lenient compared
to the late professor's. Three
X's "
Once again BK 18NG3AM
moves forward; this time it
carries four hot irons. Once again
the screams of pain. Once again
the Registrar speaks : "281-462833. "What is your major?"
'^English ."
cumulative
"And
your
average."
"2.99"
"Far ^ too low. Take that
number out and shoot him ."
A door springs open and Robot
HO122C61H glides to the exstudent and presents him with a
letter. The boy signs it and is
informed that he has just donated
his body to the BSU Biology
Department. He is taken awa y
and the Registrar mumbles
something about too damn many
English majors.
And so it goes. The man from
Tappa Kega Day is given four X's
for smoking tobbaco, which was
declared illegal in 1975, in his
room. Another receives one X for
chewing-gum
dropping
a
wrapper onto antiseptic Second
Street from his room on the 68th
floor of Kotchkodiri Hall , the new
men 's dorm. An editor of the
college newspaper is given three
X's for printing the word 'armpit '
in one of his articles. Another
English maj or with a 2.9 donates
his body to science.
Finally , the ten have been
disposed of in various ways and
the voice of the Registrar is
heard again : "Bring in the next
group of students ."
It is now 3 a.m. Robot
BN286G18E moves toward the
door, and perched atop iu throne,
the Spectra 70, 10th Generation
com put er 's panel lights up in a
jagged smile.
Impertinent Editorial Footnotes :
I am indebted to the fellow who
was in the crush outside the gate
of heaven (Office of the
Registrar-Entrance God Willing)
who suggested that someday they
might start branding us like
cattle.
Next , I'd like to inform the
secretary, who pushed me out the
door of the Registrar 's of fi ce
after I had been pushed in, that
she was right , the wait didn 't kill
an y of us , but it sure wasn't much
fun .
Finally , I'd like to thank the
un known person in Northumberland Hall who slipped
the following message under my
doors "THE COMPUTER IS A
DILDO. " I think it's a good
ana logy, and one that we should
all ponder as we walk betwee n
our four or five classes in a row.

Comb ined Com mencement : May Be First And Last

On stage — the final moment, left to right , the principals- of thai presen tation are Dr. Edson Drake, William A. Lank , Gary Metarko , tnd President
Robert Nossen.

Members of the Academic Procession on their
way to Haas Auditorium for the Commence-

nient Exercises stop to display light heartedness despite the cold of the day.

Pouring out into the lobb y of Haas Auditorium
are parents , facult y, and graduated sen iors ;

Seniors Graduating With Honors

A ddress En titl e d "Idea "
One hund red and seventy
undergraduates and twenty-two
graduate students received their
degrees at the mid-Januar y
commencement exercises in
Bloomsbur g State College's Haas
Auditorium . The commencement
address entitled "The Idea of a
College" was delivered by Dr.
Edson J. Drake , Dean , School of
Arts and Sciences .
Dr. Robert
J. Nossen ,
President of the College, in
speakin g to the 170 undergraduates and 22 graduate
condidates , stated , "This is the
first time tha t the August and
January graduates will receive
degrees at the same time , and
this class may be the last one to
participate in a Janua ry commencement. "

in seconda r y
S. degree
education ; Deborah Rhoads, R.
D. 2, Shamokin Pa. , B. S. degree
(3.75-4.00)
in secondar y education ; Mrs.
Mrs. Elaine Balkiewicz , 15 Cynthia Ba sta , 2425 Mountai n
North White St., Shenandoah , Pa. Lane , Allentown , Pa., B. S.
B. S. degree in elementary degree in elementary education.
education ; Penny Faux , R. D. 3,
Magna Cum laude
Bloomsburg, Pa., B. S. degree in
(3.60-3.74 )
elementa ry education ; Deborah
, 1418 Carlyn St.,
Carol
Magee
Fenstermacher , Mahoning
,
Pa.,
B.S. degree in
Manor , Milton , Pa., B.S. degree Philadelphia
in elementary education ; Mrs. secondary education ; and Mrs .
June Hoover , R. D. 1, Norma Reed , R. p. 5, Danville,
Shickshinny , Pa., B. S. degree in Pa., B.S. degree in elementary
elementary education ; Mrs. education .
Cum laude
Salley Manbeck Kint , R. D. 2,
(3. 50-3.59)
Mifflintown , Pa., B. S. degree in
Zane Dennia , R. D. 1,
special education ; Mrs. Dorothy
Shickshinny
, Pa., B.S. degree in
Messner , 310A N. Hanover St.,
secon
d
ar
y
educa ti on ; Beverl y
Union Deposit, Hershey , Pa., B.

Eighteen seniors graduated
with aca demic honors :
Summa cum laude

Dr. Nossen went on to state tha t senior class and gradu ate canthe faculty is now considering the didates were presented by Dr.
possibility of one commencement Charles A. Carlson , Dean , School
a year in May. He continued by of Graduate Studies and Director
saying that the college in no way of Research Activities.
Eighteen seniors graduated
wants to take awa y from the with academic honors, including
ritual and ceremony of the eight Summa Cum Laude (3.75commencemen t exercises which 4.00) , two Magna Cum Laude
is so vital a part of a stud ent's (3.60-3.74 ) , and eight Cum Laude
life ; but , it is felt that if all ritual (3.50-3.59) .
Of the hundred and seventy
and ceremony is incorporated in
undergrad
uate students ,
one yearly graduation exercise, it
Bachelor
of
Science
degrees were
may have more meaning and
awarded
to
69
in
elementary
value to all students concerned.
education
,
43
in
secondary
All degrees were conferred by
education , 22 in business
Dr. Nossen and awa rded by education , and 11 in special
of Art s
William A. Lank , President of education.Bachelor
the Board of Trustees . Dr. John degrees were awarded to 25 and
A. Hoch , Vice President and 22 graduate students received the
Dean of Faculties , presented the Master of Education degree.

Dave Smithnor , one of the 170 gradu ating
seniors , displa ys ¦ large grin at he pagsei

throu gh the door of Haas Auditorium ,

What followed wer e the usua l 'good luck ',
'congratulations ', and 'We're proud of you. '

Richard Ande r son, a member of the 'Plato on Laador s Clan, receive * his
commis sion in tht Unltad Statos Marine Corps. Captain Robert Tscha n It
shown admlsl stering the oath .

Dr. Nossen and Dr. Philip Segal of the lcono >
mica Department are shown on the way from
H a as Audi t orium , possibly for tha last tlmt

Donchez , 1608 Sprin g St.,
Bethlehem , Pa., B.S. degree in
business edu cation ; Norma n
Foster , 575 Broad St., Nescopeck ,
Pa., B.S . degree in secondary
education ; William Hyde , 430 E .
8th St., Bloomsbur g, Pa., B.S.
degree in secondary education ;
Mrs . Marion Ma rks , 509 E. 3rd
St., Nescopeck, Pa., B.S. degree
in elementar y education ; Mrs .
Martha Seymour , 220 E. 13th St.,
Bloomsbur g \ Pa., B.S. degree in
secondary educa tion ; Mrs .
Nancy Sherlock Husted , R. D. 1,
Port Royal , Pa., B.S. degree in
elementary educa tion ; and Keith
Wagner , R. D. 1, H ernd on , Pa.,
B.S. degree in elementary
education.

since this may be the last January comm ence'
mont.

Bru ins ' Orr
Top Perfor mer

Bobby Orr , the 21-year-old almost certainly will become the.
defenseman for the Boston greatest player at both ends of
Bruins , has been acclaimed the court ever."
"Man of the Year " by SPORT
The "Top Performer " in pro
Magazine in its 24th annual "Top baseball is Johnny Bench. The
Performer " selections ap- Cincinnati Red catcher led his
pearing in the current issue of the team into the World Series with
magazine. Eleven other athletes his hitting, fielding and throwing.
were named "Top Performers " Over the season, he hit .293 and
in other sports.
led the big leagues with 45
"Last season Bobby Orr did homers and 145 RBls.
things no hockey player ever did
In pro basketball it was New
before ," write the editors of York Knick Willis Reed who
Sport. "And imagining a more earned the "Top Performer "
dominant man in this sport in award for his outstanding season
1970 is beyond our com- performance and , most imprehension .
portantly , for his guts and
"Orr played great defense last stamina playing in the finals
season ," continue the editors. while suffering from a badly
"And , incredibly , he also led
strained leg muscle. Pete
NHL in scoring. His swift , Maravich from LSU is the college
powerf ul rushes up ice produced. basketball winner, after shat33 goals — a record for defen- tering just about all the NCAA
seman and 87 assists, a record scoring records in his three-year
for anyone. His 120points marked career.
only the fourth time in history a
George Blanda of the Raiders
man exceeded 100."
copped the "Top" prize for
Orr's brilliant playing inspired climaxing his 21-year pro football
the Bruins to capture the Stanley career with clutch heroic in six of
Cup for the first time in 29 years, the season's first twelve games.
and with Cup in hano, Orr won "Top Performer in College
the Hart Memorial Trophy; the Football" is Stanford 's Jim
James Norris Trophy ; the Art Plunkett, called by UCLA coach,
Ross Trophy ; and the Conn Tommy Prothro, "Possibly the
Smythe Trophy as the MVP of best passer in the history of the
the playoffs , setting playoff game."
records (with nine goals and
"Top Performer in Boxing" is
twenty points ) for a defenseman. 'The
Greatest'
himself ,
"Suffice it to say that Orr Muhannad AH, for coming back
simply revolutionized hockey. A and trouncing Jerry Quarry .
man can't have a more found Jack Nicklaus won five tourinfluence on a sport than that ,"
conclude the editors decidedly .
Spencer Haywood, the Denver
Ro-ckets' center, was named "All
Sports Rookie of the Year." Utah
coach Bill Sharman, hardly a
man to toss around superlatives
easily, has said of Haywood, "He

naments through mid-November
as well as Sport's "Top Performer in Golf" nod. Australia 's
Margaret Court won four
championships — the Grand
Slam — handily and the "Top
Performer in Tennis" citation
easil y- In Athens, Christos
Papanicolaou became the first
man ev«r to pole vault over the
18-foot bar and so qualified for,
Sport's "Top Performer in
Track and Field." Al Unser's
degree of efficiency at driving an
automobile at speeds up to 170
miles per hour won him his "Top
Performer in Auto Racing "
laurels.
The Complete Listing of Sport
Magazine Awards for 1970 Man of
the Year — Bobby Orr, Boston
Bruins
Pro Baseball — Johnny Bench,
Cincinnati Reds
Pro Basketball—Willis Reed,
New York Knicks
College Basketball — Pete
Maravich, LSU
Pro Football — George Blanda ,
Oakland Raiders
College Football — Jim
Plunkett , Stanford
Boxing — Muhammad AIL
Golf — Jack Nicklaus
Tennis — Margaret Court
Tr3ck and Field — Christos
Papanicolaou
Auto Racing — Al Unser
Rookie of Year — Spencer
Haywood, Denver Rockets

AAU Track
Meet

The 1971 Indoor Track Team
took part in the Mid Atlantic AAU
meet and registered the following
results:
John Ficek , tied 5th, 46' 7ft ", a
new BSC Indoor Record.
Andy Kusman , 6.5, 50 Yd. HH ,
automatic record BSC.
John Boyer, 5.6, 50 Yd. dash,
{third in heat.
Two mile relay team , 8:31.6
(must improve) , new BSC indoor
record : Charles Graham , Terry
Lee, Rich Vanhorn , Larry
Horwite.
6' HJ , Bob Lacock , ties BSC
i n door record , Kent Prizer and
Rich Walch also participated.
Saturday: the following results
of the Philadelphia meet.
Andy Kusman , 6.4, new BSC 50
Yd. HH record; went to the
finals.
John Boyer , 5.7, 50 Yds., third
in heat.
Charles Graham , 1:19.9, 100
Yds., third in heat , a close race.
Larry Horwite, 4:37 mile.
Others participating were Bob
Lacock and Kent Prizer. The next
meet is January 29th - ESSC —
Muhlenburg. Any February dates
are still open as of now because
there are still openings on the
team.

On Saturday the tankmen
journeyed to Kutztown State
College to take on the Bears in
their
first
intercollegiate
swimmers meet. As it was their
first meet, K-town was unable to
offer much in the way of competition and BSC won easily by a
socre of 79 to 33. The Huskies took
10 of 13 first places, with 6
seconds and 3 thirds. No new
records were set and the Huskies
had a not too powerful day on the
watches. First were by the 400 yd.
medley relay team of Kelter,
Koehler, Feyer , and Herb . Jack
Feyrer in the 500, and 1000 yard
freestyle, Ken Narsewicz In the
200 free, Bob Herb in the 50 and
100 free, Lee Barthold in the 200

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IM., Bob Meyers in the Diving
event , Bob Jones in the 200 back,
and Jim Koehler with his 6th win
in a row in the 200 breaststroke.
The Huskies had little competition here, but are expecting a
very tough meet with East
Stroudsburg on Wed. The team is
working extremely hard this
week and is hoping to bring in
their 4th victor y of the season.

Mill er Offi c*
Supply Co.
18 Wts» Moin S»rMt
BLOQMSBURG, PA.

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In the

Tim Wavch tftr snatched a firs t place victory
run with a time of 9:47.3.

two-mil *

Cinderm en Set
Numerous Records
At Muhlenb erg
by Dave Kelter
Last Friday the BSC cindermen travelled to Koehler
Fieldhouse to take on East
Stroudsburg State College and
Muhlenberg College in their first
indoor track meet of the season.
The final tally showed BSC the
victors with a score of 74%. East
Stroud had 55 and Muhlenberg
had 7'&. The whole meet was a
series of ex cellent performances
hv the.Huskies who set seven new
indoor records and tied one.
John Ficek led it off breaking
the BSC record in the shot-put
with one of 48 feet and 3% inches.
Andy Kusma followed that by
setting a record in the 70 yard
high hurdles (8.8). Gary Beers

cleared the bar in the high j ump
with a record jump of 6'4" .
Larry Horwitz set a record in
the mile run with a time of 4:33.82
with Terry Lee right behind in a
time of 4:33.90. Bruce Bitner set a
record in the 440 yard dash in a
time of 53.31 and the final record
was Jim Davis who tied his 6.35
mark of last year in the 60 yard
dash.
Other firsts for Bloom were:
Randy Yocum in the pole vault ,
(12'8") and Tim Waechter in the 2
mile run (9:42.3) .
All in all this was an outstanding performance for the
first meet of the season and
shows a promising outlook for the
rest of the season .

Harr y Logan

BLOOM
BOWL

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Bloomsburg. Pa.

DICK 1BH1FIBLD. Hana gf

Pu hl Tak es Helm
As Denstorff Resigns
^Ronald E. Puhl , assistant
football coach at BSC for the past
five years, has been named head
coach following the resignation of
Jerry Denstorff early this week;
the latter asked to be relieved of
his coaching assignments due to
personal reasons. Or. Nossen
stated today that Puhl's appointment becomes effective
with the beginning of the second
semester of the 1970-71 college
year so that Puhl and his staff
may begin making preparations
for the 1971 spring practice and
the fall football season. .
Dr. Nossen further stated ,
"During the three years that
Denstorff served as head coach,
Husky team members conducted
themselves in atomanner which
the athletic
was ^a credit
program of the college. Mr.
Denstorff will remain as a
faculty member of the Department of Health and Physical
Education with full-time teaching
responsibilities. We sincerely
thank him for his coaching
service."
t

Coach Denstorff submitted his
letter of resignation on January
18. A Selection Committee met
Wednesday, and , in compliance
with guidelines established
September, 1970, for the appointment of coaches, submitted
Puhl's name to Dr. John A. Hoch,
Vice President and Dean of the
Faculties, for his concurrence
and
recommendation
to
President Nossen.
"We felt ," Dr. - Nossen noted ,
"that Mr. Puhl's experience, both
wli
as a player and as a coach, l
enable him to direct the team so
that the purposes of the football
program will continue to be
served. His assistants and the
players have expressed their
confidence in his ability to lead
the team." Clark Boler, William
Sproule, and Cecil Turberville
will continue to serve as assistant
coaches.
Coach Puhl , an associate
professor of health and physical
education , joined the BSC faculty
in 1966, and has served as
assistant football coach and head

track coach since that time. A
native of Pottstown, Pa., and an
outstanding high school athlete,
he earned his Bachelor of Science
degree at Lock Haven State
College in 1961 and was a three
letter winner in football and a
four letter winner in swimming
and track and field events. He
was named to the National
Association of Intercollegiate
AthJetics Little All-American
Football Team in 1960, and was a
Pennsylvania State Champion in
the 220 yard low hurdles in 1961.
Prior to coming to BSC he
taught for five years at the
Phoenixville Area Senior High
School , where he served during
various periods as varsity track
and field coach , assistant
wrestling coach , gymnastics
coach, and varsity backfield
football coach .
Puhl was granted the Master of
Education degree from .West
Chester State College. His wife,
the former Georgetta Simmons,
is also a graduate of Lock Haven
State College. The Puhls have one
child.

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Abortions are now legal in New York.
There are no residency requirements.

FOR IMMEDIATE PLACEMENT IN ACCREDITED
HOSPITALS AND CLINICS AT LOW COST
Contact

WOMEN'S PAVILION

515 Madison Avenue
New York ,N.Y. 10022
or call any time
(212) 371-6670 or (212) 371-6650
AVAILABLE 7 DAYS A WEEK
STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL. We will make
all arrangements for you and help you
with information and counseling.

Fondest Remembrance
Is...

NESPOLI
jewelers
Fine Jewelry and
Watch Repair
25 E. Main St., Bloomtburo

A pp lications
Applications ate still being
accepted for the editorship of the
Pilot , the student handbook of
Bloomsburg State College. Some
experience is helpful but not
necessary.
The editor , to be paid under the
work-study program , will begin
work on the Pilot as soon as he or
she is selected. Th is prelim inary
work will include the selection of
a printer and general consideration of the format.
This will eliminate work
needed through the summer
months usually necessary for the
completion of the handbook for
the fall semester of the college
year.
¦ Deadline for the applications is
February 9, 1971. Direct them to
the Director of Publications, Mr.
Ken Hoffman.

Kampus Nook
Hot

Platt ers

Every

Day

Plain & Ham Hoagies ,
Cheese • Pepperoni • Onion
Plxxa. Our own Made Ice
Cream.
Delivery to dorms , torofit ies, and frats.

rVttcrfpf/on Spec/o/fi f

Th is Coupon

• PAIERGE
• IANVIN
• PRINCE MATCHAUUI
• ELIZAItTH ARDlN
• HElErJA RUMNSTEIN
• DANA
• COTY

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"

Across from the Union

Eppley's
Pharmacy

j ^ SS L
Deliv ery

With most conference teams
their
beginning the second ha '
seasons, the dozen confer ence
schools show a combined won
lost mat record of 70-35-2. And
only one of the 12 schools has a
losing record.

Hours: Mon. • Thurs 9:0011:00
Frida y
9:00-12:00
Saturday
4:30-12:00
Sunda y
11:00-11:00

• CHANEL
• GUERIAIN

feyOJIMPMI W0H0 WTMo)

cnes with an undefeated Shippensburg team ( 7-0) battling
^ West Chester (8-1) and an injuryriddled Bloomsburg entry (7-6)
visiting California (8-1).

TTr i

MAIN A IION STISITS

FLQW ERS
7844406

combinat ion against an un-

PC Championshi ps
Up and Comin g

With the Pennsylvania Conference wrestling championships
just five away (March 5-6 at Lock
Haven State ) , nearly all 12 PC
schools which participate in the
mat sport will be in action this
weekend.
At least two potential titlists
face non-conference opposition
Denstorff , a graduate of while a total of three dual meets
Evansville University , Kentucky, between PC teams are scheduled.
succeeded Russell Houk in 1968
On Friday night, a strong
when the latter resigned to Ashland College team visits
devote full time to his duties as Clarion State and Slippery Rock
Athletic Director and head State is also at home against
wrestling coach. During the 1970 Westminster College.
football campaign Denstf-ff , led
the team to a 5-3 recon
The Saturday night lineup
includes Lock Haven State at
Members of the Selection East Stroudsburg State, ShipCommittee were : Dr. Edson J. pensburg State at West Chester
Drake, Dean of the School of Arts . State, and Bloomsburg State
and Sciences, who served as visiting California State .
Clarion is 4-1 following vicchairman ; Elton Hunsinger ,
Associate Vice President for tories over Bloomsburg , 23-15,
Student Affairs ; Dr. Clarence A. and West Chester , 20-14, while
Moore , Chairman of the Slippery Rock remains 8-1. The
Department of Heal th and Rockets have been idle since
Physical Education ; Russell E. finishing fourth in the Wilkes
Houk , Chairman of Athletics, Open tournament late in
Intramurals , and Recreation ; December .
Lock Haven is 5-1 after easy
John R. Quatroche , Assistant to
wins
over Lycoming, 27-8, St.
the President , who represented
Francis , 33-3 and the University
Dr. Nossen.
of Buffalo , 33-5. The Bald Eagles
figure to tack up No. 6 at East
Februar y 15, 1971 has been
Stroudsburg (7-4, but not before
some interesting individual
deter mined as the cut-off
battles in the lower weights.
students
,
date for new
The other two Saturday mattrans fers and readm its for
chups
are expected to be close
semest er to sethe second
cure stud ent insura nce.
Broch ures are available in
the oHlcw of the Assoc iate
Vice- Presi dent for Student
Affa irs, located in Waller

B-Baller , Tom Wilson, puts away a fancy shot during gam*
with Baptist Bible . Huskies take on West Chester tomorrow at
hom e.

Mike Schoul moves in to pinning
known opp onent.

{ Wort h 25*

i Good for Regular
Hoagie
!
Wed. - Thurs. - Fri.

j

i

Loose Screw

Chick Check
(continued fro m page tw o)

perience in find in ; out .
5. Is She Intelligent and
j geabl e about World
Knowh
A
r
e
y
ou
sure
Then he spoke , "
Events
?
Does she know what a
courses?
you can 't handle these
.
Agnew
Spiro
is? and what it
It would make my job a lot
'
doe?
to
easier. After all , what is there
6. i
.he know the Etiquettes
these courses? Phrenology is just
of
Dressing?
Does she wear her
study of head bumps. El.
plaid
PF
flyers
with anything but
Numerical Analysis is just an
solids?
over-blown arithmetic course.
7. Is she cheap? Because you
And I'm sure you can get through
't want your mother to
wouldn
this gym course.
find
out
from a secret source.
"It may cause a little em8.
Is
She
Beautiful ? Does she
barassment in the showers," said
have
thick
hair
and good teeth?
I , hoping.
9.
Is
She
Chivalrous?
Does she
"Very well , then ," he conlet
you
wait
for
her
to
open the
ceded , and with a great effort,
apartment
door
before
she
starts
initialed the form.
giggling? Does she catch your
From there on it was a breeze ; hot , burning ashes in her bare
the only trouble I had in getting a little hands?
10. Is she on Time? Does .she
teacher to initial my drop-add
inform
you what particular time
sheet was the gym course.
zone she is corresponding to that
, In conclusion , why don't we particular day?
However, the test is worthless
return to simpler days? The only
Bloomsburg
—
the
advan tage to a computer is that it at
make s mistakes faster. The "frustrating tack" is not finding
words overheard while waiting a chick who may possess one or
two of the above finer qualities ;
expressed it rather well.
but finding a chick (period.)
"I never scheduled a conflict
when we did it ourselves." Can
the computer make that claim?

( continued from P«9* three)

grown man cry , or fresh milk
curdle.
There stood a good forty people
in a state of wild frenzy
surrounding some central object ,
flailing it with BIC pens,
mechanical pencils, lipsticks, or
anything else that would write, '
and chanting "ME FIRST ! ME
FIRST!"
Seizing control of my swirling
head, I surged forward , tossing
back students as I went through
the crowd and calling for calm.
Slowly, the students fell back and
revealed what looked like a
victim from the movie, "The
Birds". It was the Registrar 's
secretary, dead from a thousand
stab wounds. Tightly clutched in
her hands was the day 's appointment sheets. I turned to the
crowd of attackers who stood
dazed, some leaning on the wall,
others sitting on the floor, so'^' y
crying.
I wanted to scream at them
"Why?" Is anything worth a
human life? Is it necessary to kill
to achieve your ends? " Well I
wanted to but I didn't.! just gave
her a poke with my Flair, signed
up for 10:00 and slipped out the
side door.
Ten o'clock was a long time
coming, but when it finally
arrived, I was there anxiously
awaiting and naively thinking
that I would be called on time.
At 10:45, the Registrar came
out into the corridor and took
down the 10:00 list. Now it's
understandable that the man
would be upset over the murder
of his secretary , but the fact that
it happened to her was in itself no
cause for him to think that the
same would happen to him .
Nevertheless,he was dressed in a
s M of chain-mail. Perhaps he
was cold.
But I don't think he was
because his office was hot as a
kiln . I thought to myself as I
passed through the sacred portal
that it was a curious mixture of
heaven and hell . It had the feeling
of reward that comes from years
of chastity and hard work that
one must feel when he is admitted
to heaven, but it was hot as hell. I
entered , feeling as conspicuous
as an immigrant. The girl next to
me was looking wildly about the
room and deliriously muttering,
"I made it! I made it!"
I was called to one of the desks,
behind which sat the executor of
my fate , and asked to sit down .
He began the conversation ,
"Now, what is it?"
"I've come to change my
schedule," I said , figuring I could
be just as coy as he could.
"That's obvious," he snapped,
"Else you wouldn't be here. Now,
what do you wish to change?"
"Everything, " I replied ,
"they 're all too advanced ."
To this he said nothing but
picked up my schedule and
looked it over thoughtfully.

MOVER
Pharmacy
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TOILET GOODS
COSMETICS
RUSSELL STOVER CANDIES
GREETING CAROS

1 West Main St.
Phone: 784-4388
BLOOM5BU1G , PA.

Letters
(cont inued from page two )

The Hole
in the
Wallet?

political activities." This
quotation is by Harrison
Salisbury in his book "Behind the
Lines—Hanoi ." A coalition
government means nothing to People are more likely to return a
either the Viet Cong or North Viet lost wallet if a letter found with it
says that a previous finder had
Nam unless their representatives picked it up and was pleased to
in the government are backed up return it intact. In an experiment
with troops. Time after time a described in February SCIENCE
coalition government with DIGEST, a Columbia University
group deliberately dropped
Communism , Nazism , or wallets containing money on New
Fascism was only a prelude to a
takeover of the government by a York streets. Letters from ficminority radical party .
tional 'previous finders' slipped
into some of them led the real
finder to assume this was the
Regards,
David Kistler second time the wallet had been
lost. When the letter was positive
and friendly, 70 percent of the
real finders returned the wallets.
When wallets were dropped as is,
only about 40 percent came back

We Need
Letters !

WAN TED

Male Counselors for Crippled
Children 's Camps in Pennsylvania from June 22 to
August 22.
•SALARY

•BOARD

*ROOM

*LAUNDRY

For further details contact:
Director of Recreation and Camping The Easter Seal Soci ety for
Crippled Children and Adults of
Pennsylvania Box 497, Fulling Mill
Road, Middletown, Penna. 17057

A skyful of SSTs spreadinf vapor
and particulate matter across the
edge of space might create the
same type of weather horror
brought on by a blanket of
volcanic dust back in 1816. That
summer, New England suffered
its worst weather ever recorded .
A six-inch blanket of snow
covered the entire Northeast in
early June, followed by more
snow-storms in July and August
when temperatures averaged 40
degrees. There were no crops at

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New Jerse y Seashore Resort
workin g in one of

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nomina l char ge
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at
quarters
Livin g
if desir ed

KOHR'S FROZEN CUSTARD
Send lor application tot
2620 Carlton Court , York, Pa., 17402

Gang

Council
(continued from page one)

x

(continued from page* em)

next meeting. Only one person bass and penned FUNK 49, the
had shown any interest in staffing bands smash single, along with a
the report.
number of their better album
cuts.
Treasurer Anne Peacock read
Joe Walsh is considered one of
a reply to a letter sent with the finest guitarists in this
Pakistan relief monies. She also country , which may have
thanked the people ' of College somethin g to do with his close
Council who made the fund drive friendship and inumerable jams
successful , especially Mike with English superstars, Pete
Siptrolh the chairman.
Election of a Sub-Committee on Townshend and Jimmy Page of
Student
O r g a n i z a t i o n s Led Zeppelin. On stage, he is as
animated
and
replacement to fill the position physically
left vacant by Shelley Appier's dynamic as his music.
transfer to another school was set
THE JAMES GANG will apaside until the next meeting due
to unfamiliarity of candidates. pear at BSC on Thursday, Feb.
11, in Haas Auditorium , at 8:30
''
The selection of faculty
representatives to College p.m. Tickets are priced at $1.75,
is a super bargain , conCouncil was questioned now that which
sidering
that in addition to THE
the Student-Faculty Senate is in
operation .
JAMES GANG , HOT BUTTERED FUNK one of the best
* Mr. Brian Johnson , present local bands, will also be apfaculty representative to Council,
made the motion that the Faculty pearing. Two bands, one price.
Association, if functioning as in
Tickets will be sold by the same
the past, conduct the elections for
faculty representative with all method used for the last concert.
faculty being allowed to run and Starting on January 26, BNE
to vote by mail.
envelopes were available at the
residence halls
Dean Hunsinger submitted a desks of all the
proposal to remove all cigarette and in the union. Put a check or
machines from the campus in the money order for $1.75 or $3.50 (if
interestsof good health. A motion
was made and defeated,
you're taking a date ) in the BNE
envelope and put everything in
Student Activities-Director ,
John Mulka, requested an ap- another envelope and turn it all in
propriation of $150 for the at the bookstore. The BNE

University of Pittsburgh Glee committee will draw the enClub to sponsor a concert at BSC. velopes randomly and give the
Mr. Trathen, Comptroller, felt best tickets to those drawn first.
that this would fall under the Arts Tickets can be picked up in the
and Lectures series. Mr. Norton bookstore (upon presentation of
movedto table the request until a your student or faculty ID) the
check had been made with the entire week of the concert, Feb. 8Arts and Lectures committee.
11. Everybody who forgot to get
their
envelopes in will get a
Tom Brennan made a motion to
second
chance to get tickets.
establish a special investigation
committee to look into the Extras will be on sale in the
student dismissal proceedings of bookstore starting Feb. 8.
last week. The committee Remember : there'll be no bigger
members are Brennan , Tim bummer than missing THE
JAMES GANG and HOT BUTHartman , Steve Hartman , Bev TERED
Jungman, Janice Orlowsky, and price. FUNK at such a low
Mr. John Walker.
Brennan also moved to
establish a committee to investigate the registration and the
drop-add proceedings.

The Executive Council will
appoint people for this committee.

STUD EN T Cjtf $fl\
THURS .A FRI.

^j frk'

SHAGGY LONDONETTE'

WIGS

v>%

1 PfMCE f ^ W
— Reg. '25
Now * 12.50

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*Wa «hible Kanekalon

.

" Never Needs letting

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*Com*ort -w » *tr*teh ^t ,^
^SBTrisfsfB ^Lnsm
^8^ P^ BJ

Bloomsburg 784-8323
JP P^
Mon. & Fri. 11 to 9 Other Days 10 to 5:301