All th e news tha t shi ts to p rin t Campus biggies make list Compiled by Poison Pen Peggy being one of the guys in an Forthwith is the official esteemed campus fraternal campus shit list of campus organization (affectiona tely Day); notables . We have not looked known as Tappa Kegga ( will) but we far to fine those who have , in and not to mention interest" qur estimation , performed the his severe "lack of shittiest acts . We have spared , due to his " not knowing no one in the compilation of this * anythin g about anything " list so sit back and enjoy it concernin g all CGA matters , (right from the horse 's mouth , (unless you're on the list) : , Stan? ). You 'd really huh 1. Happy Jack Mulka—for rather be playing basketball , claiming to be in only an you, Stan? now wouldn't "advisory " position to the BNE Committee and also saying that he has no power in deciding who Cutba cks in poor taste gets complimentary tickets-all ^ - the while having them locked in his desk drawer where only he and Ann McFunn could get at them. jresident students -Resid ent 2. Ann McFunn—for having by EmochSchlue students at BSC will see an an impeccable stream of logic, BSNS is faced This semester increase in room fees during ie., Ann was misquoted as . with the problem of retren the next year of $72" plus the saying to the Campus Voice ( chmouth cutbacks because of signing over of their first -born staff , "You didn 't cover BNE the quibbling of ill-qualified male child. last time so we're not giving mouths ), and the possible loss 5. Alteration of college you any tickets this time; but of various services (or a cut in schedule -It was found printing we still expect top coverage. " services at the least). In orde r that much could be saved if the 3. Ben Kolinski—for having , an atto avoid the problem was no longer Campus Voice the most extensibely-edited tempt was made to stretch the , it was therefore published , letter in the Campus Voice. bud get but it ripped. The only staff of the entire decided that Editor 's note to K en : Don't snl ntinn tti*»r<»fnr p is a rut in tne voice will ue eiiu.iiiiai.cu uy think that we edited your letter services and personnel. forcing them to sit in on a jus t because we didn' t like After much bickering, trustee meeting resultin g in what you said; we needed to lollygagging, and the temtheir being Board to death . make an example of someone porary halting of talks because 6. Closing of the college and you happened to come someone had to go to the sandlaundry-This move is necessary along at the right time. box to contemplate on the because of the extreme cost of 4. Dr. Roberts—for making hopper , Plan X was accepted. water, heat for dryers , and that cheap shot to the Voice This plan will be put into effect young Chinese males . about "ar tless collegiate unless something unforeseen , 7. Reduction in off-campus j ourna li sm. " (We never such as a solution , occurs. housing-A way was found to claimed to meet collegiate The plan is as follows : re duce the cost of off-campus journ alistic standards. We'll go 1. Food service economies-No hosing while retainin g the same along with being . called "armore meals will be served in luxury that is present toda y. tless ", however, we will not put th e Scranton Commons. I nstea d o f a p artments , up with what you implied in the 2. Retirement contributionswigwams will be constructe d • rest of your comment. ) Also, This little item will result in a tribe for peon by a local Indian for writing numerous letters to slight reduction of 100% in wa g es. the edi tor in defense of your noirmanf c f/\ fV»n TCfafra TCrn_ 8. Cutbacks in the athletic position and signing students ' ployee 's Retirement Fund. department -Because of high names to them. (Burpeck , H owever , the former emwill be made eliminations , cost Purse-strings , et al) ployees will receive a comsuch e p artment in t h e at hlet i c d 5. Stan the Man (The Polish pli mentar y enema b a g to , wa t er or t eams as equipment f f i r e p l u g ) T o c z e k — for compensate for t h e loss. f or t he an d C ruex for the pool, p ossess i n g extraor di nar y 3. Reduct ion of expenditures itch. qua lifi cat ions to carr y out his on buildings and structures9. Cutbacks in facult y Since it role as BSNS' s CGA President , Work will be halted on the new will cost many penn ies to fork suc h as: three y ears of 's dormitory, Lycoming women out to the pro fs, the ent ire dedi cate d serv ice on the slop Hall. The partially constructed faculty will be layed off. line and student manager in the dorm will be used as a target . in studen ts10. Cutbacks Scranton Commons ; pl ac i ng in area for the ROTC program on faculty and lack of Because of the Elwel l Hall W restling campus . t he stude nt , nterest lack o f i Tournament ( see picture ) ; for 4. Increased room fee for cancelled . w i ll b e dy bo and Bar b W lzensheesitz utn etrenchmo R *• |4UJ lltVllWU W VI1U UkMVV _ «* _ • l l i 1_ _ . . . >*12 ¦_*! **.4-a*3 W «* 4J»U W Bloomsburg State Norma l School, Bloomsbur g, Pa. 17815 » £ "- NOISE CAMPU S | A Publication of Ihe BSNS Intelligen tsi a Report ft Your ROTC pro gram at work CGA meets again Noth ing relevant di scussed by Diane Geshund heidt Bubble gum, housin g, and bricks were the main attractions at the CGA meetin g held on the seventh Sunda y of last November. CGA moved to allocate $100 to install bubble gum machines on cam pus as a p art of cam pus beautifica tion. These new iMA«\ltJMAo IIlaWl UIlGB vtWll WU4 nloA CUOU ha tiCA/4 frt U& U0^U vv help initiate a new cour se called "Cavity and Shoe Repair. " Another part of thi s proj ect is to fi nance a persona l appearance by Euell Gibbons in order to ra ise $50,000 to plant the trees he needs f or his f am ily reun ion picnic. This picnic is to be part of Winter Weekend next year. In order to secure better offcampus housing for students , CGA plans to build an airport with the funds from the investment committee, Members decided that the vibrations and noise from take -offs will destro y all existing houses , and the towns people will be forced to rebuild. The airport would cost a pproximate ly $100,678 ,543.23 . The only problem with this plan , according to Ron Toy, is that instead of CGA vehicles, CGA will have to buy planes. CGA passed the motion to back CAS in not only withholding money from the Commonwealth , but also tak ing back what was already spent. Unless the legislators improve our financial status , the students are to tear down the new administration building and sell the bricks back to Harrtaburg one by one, Not only will this raise money, but the state won't be able to collect any money from the students ,w|thQ ^ WQirbq ^ne>^pWpp. As a recreatio nal idea to keep more s t u d en t s h ere on weekends next semester , Stan Two-check proposed setting up certain times when the tri-lev el could be used for ice skating. The proble m exists in getting enough hot air to melt the ice so the cars could be returned. To solve this , the next CGA meeting will be held on the ice. Another thr ee-hour job should do it. A worksh op was held on the CGA const itut ion , so more people would be familiar with CGA policies, and less people would be out of order . It was a huge success-two faculty members, showed up . Another meeting to discuss ap ath y was cancelled due to lack of in- terest. Represent ative Louis Huntsinker made a motion to allocate $20,000 to Rad io Statio n BSC so they could buy Pres ident McCor mick' s house where they could expand their facilities. Hunt-sink er claimed that in a few years , BSC will put ki».l_ ._ . WHT .M * " "«' mil VMV r\t VI UUBIUCBB. iti. niB pro posal was unanimo usly ignored. The Campus Voice requested $10,000 Ir om CGA. The money would be used to send the staff to Florida until hell freezes over. Inst ead , Stan Two-check added an ammend ment that stated that any person with pen and small notebook seen on this camp us be remov ed , • mediately . Thi s wilt imbe discussed at the next meeting . When corn ered after the meeting, Two-check refused to answer any question for fear he would be quoted . If you have any questions , write them on a sheet of paper ¦ and han d them to ' -. ¦ ¦ fl*W« - "~ r \ EDITORIAL /\ I hate New Year 's resolutions.Witb tins in mind. I have decided 10 turn over the prvverbaal ne»- lea/ and cite the changes thai wall be sees in me startksg next semester. I do solemnly resolveA>To leave C.G.A- alone. Ill ignore Ann McFunn aud Ann McToy as ihey doze off durmg C.G.A. meffting,ftJ ..ni ignore the profound statements of such notables as Rod Toy and Ferry Teeters—yes, 113 ev en Ignore Bob Morton , et ai as they sbow the council the '"right "side of thinasB; To make the Campus Voice the epitome of artful collegiate j ournalism.To do this !will fire my staff of collegians and respectfully hire any person on the faculty, administrativeor janitorial staffs. O To edit all Decessary sentencesin letters to the editor and to only pri/Jt letters that I like. D i To expound upon the fruits of the Bloomin* Hospital.(That won't be hard as there are a Lot of fruits over therej E; Neverto write another editorial since I lack the insight into real student issues, ^see Litter to the Editors, page 3> F; No* to adhere to any presentor past New Year's Resolutions. GOOD NIGHT AND GOODBYE FOR NOW. SEE YOU IN A FEW WE EKS.,.KEEP THAT CARD AND LETTER COMING IN. FOLKS: Barf Wizeocbeeztts 0 ~ A The Spo tlif te h **^ h m " A/a+hing 's im po rt ^fanyu/d / TI * n nI I 1 'Ajuo sasod j nd ipj «»«»j aj e u«ded ipivatei j no p(o« to \ WW -iifr t£l2) I I I I f SZ006 dnV0 'S3-13DNV S0T 902 # ' 3AV OHVOI ZZCl I DNI 'iDNVlSISS fl ' H3UV3S3U 1 I 1 i i " I I *8ui|puQi| pue a6eitod j aAoo 01 00 1$ i »opu 3 '6o |bj k) j apj o |ieui 's6vd f -09 1 'aiep-oj -dn j noA j o| puas I / ft I * m jW p | i) /' sojdoi p spuesnoqj. Need a break? Applications for student sabbatical - with academic credit can be obtained fro m Dr. PickIt. See page 13 for more details. 1 / I I / Conventiona l elections hairs, leaning toward the leftmost positions of the political spectrum have beer. krar*"n u> invade the con% «"itior^: They, in turn have b««; trj ? *r.to be chasedby men in tcjft ur.:f/w7r-s leaning to the ng^ - .TiO-st positions ol to* p^li ' ical spectrum. This oni y <&*<& Vj && quagmire already ^>T*&fxl Our rights as Amerncaj iB are at stake at this very moment. We must take action as soon as passible to avert this blatan t exploitation of our rights as citizens of the United States. In the coming Bicentennial year , we must remember our forefathers would not tolerate such actions. Yes, the idyllic complacenc y we find before our omnipresent and omnipotent television sets is trul y in danger. We must have the freedom to choose wnai we want to oe exposed 10. At present , the choice is still ours - whether to fight this exploitation or sit on our bu tts and wait for disaster to strike . Where will it all end? No one can tell. Even if , Heaven forbid , w e lose the b attl e , we will still have commerc ials. by Name Withheld With the wming of the 1376 Presidential Elections, we the people v/iJI once again be s u b j e c t e d to both t h e Democratic and Republican National conventions. For two whole weeks this coming summer, we must sacrifice hours of intelligent , meaningful prime-time television viewing, to watch thousands of crooked political schrnucks parade around with signs and make speeches. Don't we a« voters and taxpayers have a choice in what will be aired ? How stupi d do they think the American viewing public iaf' There are constant complaints of trash being aired on television . These, you know, are tot al exaggerat i ons, bu f 4 h^Atf UIVJT rt£\t t \ M L.VUJU AAVMA V-^ /«4*^ t V*t ¦#>* UUC it ii 11" %- . Hi conventions are aired again. D you want your family viewiri , the violent and chaotic atmosphere th at reigns at these affa irs - ' shouting, scream ing, name calling and mud slinging I shou ld think not. Furt hermore, bands of unruly long Super Hoogiei ¦ You 'll Love Them! J OHN 'S FOOD MARKET Now featuring: * Pipe of the Week & Blend of the Week 4 Savings up to 25 per cent! Located on the corner Leonard and Main St. Bloomsburg ^jjj porteo ^igar^^^^^ Open Daily 7 days a week 8 a.m. - 12 p.m. ^^r^^^^^^^^^^^ i^t^^^^ i^^^^^ ^^ ! t^^^MI^^^^. j [^^M^^^^^ _^^V^^^^ tfH^^ ^ _^^^M^^^^^ _^^^H^^^^_ ^^^^0^^^^_ ,^^ 0M^^^ ^ _.^^^""^^^fc. -^^^^^^^ Weekly Ja bberings by Pegg y Moran I have had it! Psycholo gicaTly, I have been tred upon , but h ave I ever complaine d? Of cours e I have , but that ' s beside the point. Despite all this, I still wrote my column every week. a egan b so I , column a write to Even when It seemed that the column. After a few un-I only people who read It were successful att empts at humor the copy reader and Tom , I still changed the format to Includ eI wrote it. contro vers ial topics which Even when I didn 't have campus-wide of were thou ght anythin g to write about , I still wrote this stupid column. aP P< I spent hour s each week at Well let mo tell you this my typewri ter thin king of much- If I don 't get a nice something perti nent to write letter fro m one of you soon , I decidin g how best to get my will continu e to write this t id eas across , and I re ally dldn literary mnstorplece just to job. thin k I was doing that bad a as spite all of you . But I guess I was wron g, Th is haR been a long uciinl. semester , «nd I'm tired , and But , let me ask you th is my old roommate is getting much: have I ever unjustly , i ng marr ied in less than two weeks accused any one of d othey and I h avn't seen Tom in abou t something that they swear being a week , and I'm hun gry so this didn 't do? On th reat ofhaven t is about all I think I'll at tempt bann ed from the Union , today . I refused to tactf ully skirt the Enj oy Ch ri stmas vacat ion; I issue and come out in defense of think I'll spend mine compiling myself onl y to be matje an id eas f or my column next outcast from my circle of semester. . enem ies? Wha t more can a sensitive person do? I have taken abuse that no to one should ever be madehave I , endure. Emotiona lly been slapped In the face. In view of the fact that this may be the last column I ever writ e, and this is our lampoon Issue ot the VOICE I'd like to make myself clear on a few topics ; this time I will mince no wor ds in making my feelings known. Throug hout t his p ast semester I hav e taken a lot of shit fro m a lot of DeoDle. and. to put it bluntly, I don 't think I deserved any of it. It all began at Homecoming when I was accos t ed by seven angry men who were convi nced that I had done them wrong. From there on in it was downhill. It seemed that no mat ter w h a t I wrote someone was pissed off at me. In fact it got so b ad that peop le took off ense al any writ ten word that bore my name. W ell, Ihave had i t ! I really don 't care what any of you think anym ore . This Is my column and I'll say whatever I want to say and Jf you don't like It , don't read It. The editor told me that I had » • ! 4 *¦» * « ) A ¦ . A ; l 1 J j . »1 » i . i 1 ; ; s the Editor ... Litter to the editor...... Letters to the editor should be submitted only when we're in the mood to be Criticized ¦ sweet hostage" " L oose un d CV's erwear ! ssiiijj &P: |fil |if ii Dear Editor: Dear Editor: I am very disturbed with your How can I tell you what has newspaper as it now stands (or alread y been said several sits). Commie Hot Dogs thousand times in innumerable Why do you constantl y waste ways through the comp rec i ous sp ace i n y our medium outlet 's mun ication Dear Editor: publication for such trivialities the with wron g newspaper gone 's comprising your Wha t' s as Retrenchment , Housing, down walk even 't letters column? wor ld? I can . calendar chan ges, etc. when , Obviously, even trying to the stre et, in broad daylight there is a problem that is more ponder a new method to detail witho ut six of -th ose damn serious than anyone can -i S « B C O B H AO i a u possibly imagine? This is a Q ^ Im which are metaphorically andand asking for a hotdogH problem that , if left un, M C SI C or symbolically afrai d to go home tonight similar to i . -t - *-, I* disturbed , can grow like a every brainfunctioning they're in my kitch en now fungus throughout the world. hotd ogs and beans. my member of the student body eatin g Unbelievable , but true ! ' I could not ultimat ely produce a They re in all the classes Since you deal so much with justifi ably more worth while atte nd , lau ghin g at me , triviality I believe you have no followingme wherever I go. do manner in which to list the indication of the very existence no Why doesn 't Mr. Ford of many impressio ns . that are of this problem. It is foolish for something to stop the spread , inbued upon my emotional and you to overlook it. inte rna tiona l commu nism logical personality framework The problem which I am before it' s too late? Oh, God!! ! by the sight reading and depth speaking of is the problem of Sincerely your s, perception I peruse your pap er as loose underwear. Even now, TO e w j s >—• " w w ts *3 5. r; QO n ^ U u ? *> r "Un cle Ji m" with. I write this letter , I am Pre sidentof BSNS It boils down, or up, to a problem . bothered by this very concise, precise prai se of your How can anyone even begin to incredible publication : it consider the solving of the ama z es m e, I love it, it sends world' s other problems when me w i t h a fantastic one is forced to squirm in pub"? Dear Editor: catapulation into the because of a lousy piece of I am the Editor of Sports paradisical realm of nevercotton wedged between one's Illustrated and have been ending Xanadu. there are times cheeks. True , reading some of the past issues when a person can hide in a Needless to say, your paper and I' m completely thrilled and has made of me a " sweet corner to strai ghten the appalled at the same time. hostage. " Never set me free; I but there is situation out , The subject that docs both always the possibility of the beg of you. these things to me is the weekly S. T. Coleridge sneak attack leaving one vircolumn "Borrowed Space. " I tually helpless at the clutch of a am thrilled that a college Who 'd you say BVD dropout. It is ridiculous! student has as much insight to I sincerely hope that next by Yitch Mears you were again? college athletics as Bill does you will wake up and semester Poison Pen Peggy will not review this play as she has done an aboutand at the same time appalled investiga te this particular face and join ed the BSNS players. Dear Edit or: by the numerous amounts of matter The play "Ho w Green IS the Gras s Over There?" was performed , Why do people write lette rs to crap this boy has to take. I Yours in clothing, directed , produced , created, and watched by the BSNS Players. I the Edito r? Is it to see their would have written this in a P i erre C ard i n received permission to enter the otherwise closed performance due to name (Marc Miller) in the personal letter to Bill, but I felt my excellent qualifications as critic : I' ve read the play 500 times ; I paper or wha t? that the whole campus should Edited to death have complete knowledg e of lighting, staging, and costuming; plus I I mean , what' s the big de*»7 they have talent right know that quickly per ceive the symbolism behind the play. Also, I am intimate Frtu FefuUw , about seeing your name un der th eir noses an d don 't friends with all of the participators. Grm tueojdy theds eiths (Marc Miller) in the paper? ' even bother to recognize it. The play was staged in the middle of the Carver ruins , using the lsjfjo? figngdls almtehs doens Is it so they can show all at Well , I say, "Phooey on them. " pieces of fallen beams , and the sizzling wires as props . It set the mood , anthdls jf , Noet is tj ei goeathris home that their name (Marc Bill, I would like to offer you a of the play immediately giving one a feeling tha t life couldn 't be much L o g j i h u i u i d fslsjfjflri. Miller ) was prin ted in the j ob. Sports Illustrated would be worse. jdaeiuwri .gjkjaieeurie , college paper? glad to take your columns each Ben Kolinsky, playing the character of Eaton Crow , ma de h is Go intiss goeisis. nowtitheit j!! Could it be tha t they ' re tr ying and every week and prin t them presence known as he tripped lightly (or not so lightly ) over the dkduei? dksodss sldid Noding, impress someone by havin g to f or our sports f ans so the y can wooden beams and lurched towards his beloved mate , Ledit Beknown , itthiew Disjerelh fnowe their name (Marc Miller ) in get the full enjoyment and only to grasp the live wire instead , and nearl y electrocuted himself. dkjfjflejadj dmfjewu djidpoad print? knowle dge that you h ave to Eaton Crow 's costum ing consisted of mulch. (Mulch is used instead djfeujd dijid dkfdjf!! Even though most of the offer. of manure for fertilization and you can guess the symbolism there! ) , dfkdj . wiednfd j , Dddd:kuu letter wr iters have someth ing In closing, I would like to Crow , a youn g man , continually fumbles his way throug h life trying to dfdiuf. , "Siddhf Disdrf , to say , isn't their ulterior direct a comment to the prove a point but always missing it. Ghowidjf , D. H. SFgjklsjd , motive just to see their name Campus Noise sta ff to see if any Ledit BeknowTj , portrayed by Poison Pen Peggy, is a youn g woman fdjgijl: Ins ffjld , fotheidd? (Marc Miller) In the paper? of those educated people know who Voiced her opi n ion on the ar t s and alwa y s got negative f eedback anhg giuid. , gjia , niedf , fint Signed, the answer : Who the hell is from EVERYONE , Ledit Beknown 's costume cons i sted of a million • Digrru thiueioeir sdifhepu , With held Name BTO ? seeds (mostly of contempt ) which were planted wherever she went. p le a j e the p eo , hoguiw, ghueusd Signed, Supp ortin g actor , Waste Mat ter refused to supp ort due to the points of this miserable publication. Mr. BUI Slpler, Sr. t ha t weren 't being made and the opinions that were being made Driekwefy, S. I. Editor know n ; wh ile sup porting actress , Barb Weezencheez its tried to censor , OldPrueiwkde que t hose dama gin g par t s of the dialogue that she felt would give her , as well as Le dit Beknown , a poor image. The l ightin g was excellent considering the fact that i t was not being Cheif Chtf Barf WfzencheezIti I Production Mangier taken care of and all acting was center staged under the stationary Vltch Mean 8 Taking Care of Byilnen John It Will Yt 1 spotlight , blind ing most of the actors and actr esses. The performe rs Token Gre«k Editor Emoch schlut i Pton Aisltfant Diane Daniklni a acted with eyes closed , bringing in an added dimension to the play, Nobody Octi Publicity Editor Polton Pan Peggy 3 and keeping the audience anxious as to who would be the next to Athltt lc Supporter Tht KId a Athletic Participator Ad Hoc 8 tumble. Dark Room Manager Mandy Raton a Another Loon with a Camera The play also called for audience participation for when a performer Arnold Palmer Q Sloppy Editor Kim Covott 1 fell off the stage, he-she was thrown back onto the stage by the Subtract AAanaper Cracked Spllnlen 8 audience members who were the closest. Ken-Boy, Dutroyer of Public Relations and Publication! claims no relation * with this fi ¦ It was definitely the most determined play I've ever seen , adn I'm publication , -" Ptoiwi Linda Grlikeetaway, Jaff Annera, Hammer Schult i, Diane Oeihumfhaldt, Mrt. fi sure some of the numerous nuances were missed by even myself O'Leary 't ion , Wrutlin g Matton. Bill Poxnolt, "Gettin g Naked" White, Bill Bill Slpler, Jr. , I Peachy K»tn, Wary Spai, Eoor Stravlnikl, Louie the Hun, Lenny BlaaahilcK, although I would never admit it it questioned in a court of law. * Plainerii Al Paelno, Thorn JeTfli, Jo Will y, German Debutant. And Hough, Cnarlet Dlcklnion. . | "How Green IS the Grass Over There? " has a definite social comAm itant Manolerii Ad Hoc, Kim Coyote , Diane Dagger, Joan Part, Peachy Keen,< FUhy ft t n • | * Scales, Donf Care, Oenflemen Prefir Halnet , Miller High Life . ment to make, and when I figure it out, you will be the first to know. ¦ Other Cohortit Billy Shakeiper, Walt SMiman, and other anorted degeniratM , B However , at this point in time, let it suffice to say that If the Play 's the thing and this thing is a play. £ ff i£ f£i!lttlt§« s! .« f i^ t§B* * a!i!H5«!lfo iS HIP feliiii i111*1111II r cv i ff^illi- J I:f II . l :Jims!Ulj!li!l Iii* |£i|*£i;j{i ffj good i !fi itfi I'lMuiifi lfiff iii An intelli gent criti que of a play *«*, bui, Jt ; l*llttM«l«l Wto mmsm ' *^ i » - ¦ ¦¦: . Employee of the week Huns inger cops semester honors —Hunsinger (far left) is always right where the action is. I ' mmm . . . SUBS | by Barf Wizencheezits Atilla the Hunsinger has been unanimously chosen by the Campus Noise staff as Employee of the Week. Atilla's job on the BSNS campus? No one really knows for sure...not even Atilla himself. The question is, why does A the H remain on the payroll? That's a very good question that deserves a very good answer. Too bad I don't have a very good answer. Hunsinger is supposed to take care of the health and food areas on this campus and often he will be caught by a Noise photographer in action shots, (please note pictures accompanying this story. ) If you have-been around this campus a while, you know the reputation the Bloomin ' Hospital has among students. Atilla apparently knew it too, because when he was accosted as to why the reputation has been perpetuated for years, he clearly replied, "What nospicai r " 319 East Street Bloom sburg I I 784 - 5353 1 'I— ' ^ | * " ^ "The Best For Less " HAR TZE LL' S MU SIC STOR E 72 N. Iron St. Blooms burg 9 am ¦ 9 pm MON. - SAT. It is involvement by our leaders as such that reignites faith in the BSNS system. Why, when Atilla's name became a household word and students tried to talk with him about their problems with health service, Atilla, true to form, clearly replied , "What students? " Considering all that Atilla has been involved in at BSNS, he will be on Sabbatical next Wh at is it ? -Here's Attila the Hunsinger in one of his active roles as Vice-Prez . Free "supp ort " for voter registra nts All you have to do is get two by Tim O'Leary Now you can h ave f un an d fullfill your political responsibility, all at the same time. Yes, if y ou act now , you can. With this special limited offer from Bloomsburg State Normal School , vou can win. totallv tree, your choice of colorful underwear, emblazone d (in state gic places) with the words "SUPPORT". Yes, make voting f un , even if it doesn 't make a damn bit of difference. And, as a special treat from Pierce Atwawa and J oe Vone while you 're hav ing all th is fun , you even register to — g ^^ — _ — _ — -~ — — — " ^r-w w h ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ r ^ mm ^ vuic - a mm mtuieru 10 you. ¦ B4few^^ mm £1^ d*^ ^A A. ^ *a a A. _ _ _ _ «_ Yes, for the mere waste of time standing In line, and lett ing some little old man take down your name , you too can win this nifty underwear , What a treat ! more people to vote a f ter you , mak ing sure they get two more af ter them , ma ki ng sure they get two mor e after them and mak ing sure everyone follows suit accor dingly. But don 't break the chain or you lose your underwear ! I t's really not that tough thou gh, all you have to do Is get 360 people not including yoursel f, and your a winner. Actually it doesn 't even matter if you vote, jus t get everyone else to. Other than these great , dura ble, 100% cotton briefs , regi stra ti on really doesn 't of ier much. Both the candidates are as crooked as the railroad from here to Berwick. But who cares about that stuff anyway, a f ree prize is a free prize , and the price Is right. So lets all rush out and fullfill our constitutional obligation and show who wears the pants on this campus/ 11 JJiJIJOilet 112it etui f i u u semester getting a welldeserved break in the fast paced life he leads as a VicePrez. In order to receive the most relaxing vacation possible, it is rumored that Atilla will spend this sabbatical next semester in his office in the Administration Building, carrying on business as usual. Now you're probably wondering who could ever fill this Vice-Prez's shoes while he vacations. The only person who ¦» « *¦*« .!*_ * couia iui me requirements it size _ _! A__ _ HE loafers) is Bob Morton. Bob is accepting the workload of the Vice-Prez office along with all his own responsibilities, which seems to i n d i c a t e t he magnitude of taking over , Hunsinger's position. (This reporter can't help but wonder if Morton will be a substitute "psl " to the campus jocks as well, which has been one of Atilla 's major duties as Administrator for Health and Food Services for the last sp«/f>ra1 uoarc 1 There is a chance, however, that Atilla will not get his job back when he returns in the fall. But I'm sure there is a place for him on this campus. After all, Hunsinger received his B.S. in Health and Physical Education and has had experience as a basketball coach. With prime qualifications such as these, if he can't get another Vice-Presidential position, he can always fill Bill Sproule's newly-vacated position as head ujoiDau football coacn coach.. I can't find the paper that says who won last week's What is this? but you know who you are. But the perverbial question still remains What is This? Not even Dr. McCormick knows for sure , but if you know something that he doesn 't know write it on a piece of paper and bring it to the Voice office and if you're r igh t , we'll let you buy us a Capri Pizza . Photo phunnies...p hoto p hunnies...p hoto ¦ ¦¦ m m— zsssssm *mmmmm\mm: ,- -. ^j zaxti ** ..,.,,,,- .rJ .-, , * ,^, . ^, , . . <: ^-.^,<« ¦ . ¦¦ ^^Kmmmi ^mmmmmmmmt I have been enlightened I hate Hinkel' s phys. ed. classes l . I told you they 're mittens ! .^^ It was here a minute ago. Now * break tier other toot : ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ l ^ ^ ^ j yi^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ J^ ^ ^ il ^ ^ ^ y i ^ ^ l ^ ^ M^ ^ ^ ^ i^ l ^ j l ^y^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ j^ ^ ^ ^ j^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Well, if you don 't know the answer , how the hell should I? j^ - B100Insourg act . «onu« *™» Here they are : _ . • . % Bloomsbu rg State Norma l School The artl ess collegi&te jou rn alists PsPs WSPiS.'¦v^^W '^BWf^^KM W^^^fff f^ ' ^SHPJWi^^ ^ S?pKi*5p^;;¦'! ^w^S^^^S^SWi^lP^^^^^SJBi^ ¦H n n ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ H ^fm^^^ mmwKffKtKKml^^^^^^^^^ The off icia l CAMPUS VOICE sta f f shit list. Barb Peggy Da ™ Wanchisen W1 This is the official shit list for the Campus Voice for the fall semester 1975 for the unr uly innuendos cast about the office ghetto every Sunday night , weekday a ft ernoons an d an y Peggy Moran : alias Poison other moments when the emPen Peggy ; for not allowing the ployees of this so-called OTE brothers the publi city they pu bl icat ion are in eac h others d eserve in each issue of the CV. company . . Barb Wanchl8en ]ust a Also for being a cynic about the Bloo;nsburg lawy er , alias Bloomsburg Players and being editor In beef; this foununverse d in theatrics. tainhead of knowledge perta in ing to women 's rl ghtf makes this l ist for be ing th< onl y "oh wow you knew " whc ever does anything on th is cam pus and for pickin g Pickett' s pocket. The staffs onl y wish is that someday we will be fit to walk in the darkness cast by her shadow . Moran Joe Sylvester Joe Sylvester : alias the Italian Scallion ; A shit list firstl For shir king his duties as a Delta Pi brother by participating in activities subjective to criticism from fellow G reeks , and being a subver sive influence to perspective buyers of De lta P i doggies. Ed Hauck ; alias John ny Quest ; for engaging in act ivit ies such as b oisterous exc l amat ions p erta in ing to controv ers ial comments uttere d by f ellow sta ff personnel . Also for displaying a God complex as evidenced By his wear ing the white st coveral ls ever seen this side of Zion. These guys didn 't make it for the picture; Diane Gaskinr. alias Joe look for another job ; for depriving Joe of the ult imate joy of laying out the front page. Also for bein g absent when Peggy needed someone to explain to Randy Mason why BUI Bailey's picture wasn 't In the p ap er. And for coming in late Sunday nights and saying "I' m bored" and thinkin g we're all crazy . Lenny Bakick : alias Lenn y Blahs ick ; for rejecting our suggestions of Sam 's foot as his column title and using Mike 's Hat , and for not being abl e to come up with anything funny for this lampoon. An for hissing his snake 's tooth sar casm under the guise of Mike 's Hat. , Mary Pat O'Don nell: alias Mary Spaz ; for being the first perso n on the staf f to have the guts to rip into the football team. Ed Hauck ¦ Dale Myers Craig Winters Cr aig Winters : alias Adamsup Crai g; for being the only ad mana ger to arr ive on work nights at 10 p.m. thus forcing the editorial staff to refrain from lay out until said time. Also for tak ing a g y m cl ass Involv ing long distance ru nnin g about the town to secure ads. Dale Myers: alias Ridin g the Pine ( ESQ.); for being the only sports editor in the histor y of this paper to tel) it like it is. How in the wprld did \ the Campus Voice ever secure a such exjournalist with The answer ceptional talent ^ being the impeccab le taste he has In the meetin gs an d sub- :u 'i sequent friend -mak ing of exquisite women . Also for being the only person to come close to drinkin g the entire CV staff - under the perv erbia l table. A rematch of this event will be staged in New York City this ; March in tha t well known Iris h P u b r e f e r r e d toi as MagUlicudd y's. Also for being the only sports editor in the history of the paper with a head the size of a blimp...a nd still no beard...and still no bra ins...and still no luck. ¦ • ¦ .>• i l^ ^^ ^^ ^ Vickie Mears Marc Miller Tim O'Leary BiU TroxeU ^mm w mr Vickie Mears: alias Vitch ; for abscondin g at a ridiculously early hour on Sunday nights with the copy, requirin g the edi tor ial s t a ff to guess the count. Also for havin g an Intellectual bull shit gatherin g where certa in members of this sta ff becam e inebriated to the point where the y were no longer res pons i ble for ac t ions the y ma y have engaged in durin g or after said gatherin g. And for being so organized that she says she can put out a 20-page pa per in two days.. So here it is folks - the truth behind the working of the illustrious Campus Voice staff. Take it for what it' s worth , don 't read anythin g into it • It won 't be worth your time. J I — Marc Miller; for not explaining to Barb and Vickie exactly what the realm of a jitney is. If you tell Barb you get a free Capri Pizza. Tim O'Le ary: alias Mrs . O'Leary 's son ; for being the only real sports writer and not an t a gon izing t he soccer t eam to the extent that the y woul d wr ite us a nast y letter. C' mon gu y s we know you can do it. Bill Tro xeU: alias Bill FoxHole ; for expounding on his many perfection s while in the presence of the other sta ff members and for f a il ing to show u p for important meet in gs on the appointe d days and at the app ointed times. m Chiodo /qiiqs ^Cc jfc f^ X U.J05 purposely lef t ou"i of this Jist- because Q^t^ insio-tod of Jayinc -out ouiih ¦tanfc S^afF co *s3\nd* y piQ ht , X o*as <,tuciy*rV journalism M i^ome u^ th Besides fny huG bc^d ' ^hat X" g^ue ^ p & rt • A. __ V ¦ even all that cute. I will make one concession by putting those back in, but I can 't guarantee any Adonises or Venuses. (And they don't give A's in exchange for a picture in the Obiter*) We want our paychecks back. Why should we work for hours without pay. (Lincoln abolished slavery, Toczek revives it. ) We will no longer allow peopj e to come into the office to "look over" a book and dirty it so that they can but it cheaper. ( Bunch of scrounges.) Well, now that you know where we stand (on the right hand of God) and we know where you stand (out in cow dung strewn pastures) we can all work together to put out a great yearbook. (Make the editor a rich woman! ). Obi ter ass con tes t Hear ye! Hear ye! Everyone enjoys a good piece of ass. Especially the Obiter staff! That is why we are sponsoring a: NICE MALE ASS CONTEST Some of the requirements are: 1) be a male 2) wear tight hip hugger pants 3) bring your beautiful buttocks to our office where the judges (the editor-in-chief , business manager and layout editor) will determine, through a battery of tests, if the ass meets our standards of excellance. The winner and four runners up will then have their darling derrieres featured in a special section of the 1976 Obiter. ( We are looking forward to meeting you contestants. Put your best cheek forward ! To the Production Staff J^^^W^^^^ ^WW ^P^^^^^^^(WBfc ax - i * * » ¦¦ MJUtfUlUiffy"' ^Sttf JijElfiw aftfTOM "**¦ > a"lfc ,i, 8£afSws I would take this space up to tell you what a tru ly fine job you have done on the layout , the typ ing, and the running of the computers at th e Morn ing MessBerpi ck Ent er Surprise affectionately 7IUo7<)7 24 HOUR WR ECKER SERVICE ™ •STATE INSPECTIONS - ^4^ f A pr oducti on -not a feast I 1 Obiter Dicta ! ¦ _ * 8. The campus beauttfication l. Who is the President of project will be directedby: BloomsburgNormal School? a) a nursery a) Abraham Lincoln S b) Arthur Fiedler b) Charles DeGaulle B c) Dean Norton c) * Abraham, Martin and H d) Stanley Kubrick * ' John M ¦ 9. Who are the co-captians of d) Jarr.es McCormick the BNSbasketball team? m 2. Who is the director of the ¦ a) Lewis and Clark BloomsburgHospital? b) Gilbert and Sullivan ¦a) Chad Everett c) Sacco and Vanzetti b) Jack The Ripper tW v 3) Radocha and Evans Leary c) Timothy m 10 The Obiter is: d) Dr. Reese Cups H a) the college yearbook b) misspellingof the Orbiter c) a spaceship 3.Theleader of the famous BNS flg d) a form of venereal disease « student revoltsof the70's was ! 11 Who runs the BNS radio ¦B a) Che Guevara station? b) Pierce Atwater jH a) WHLM c) Jerry Reuben » b) The syndicate d) Caesar Chavez Wb c) Peggy Moran d) Jim Ryun w 4. The buses to the fieldhouse 12.The Greek Systemis: a) a new mathematical run: B a) Always concept ffi b) fraternal organizations b) Sometimes 1b c) a form of sex c) Never B d) all Greekto me d) Out of gas SI 1 3. The food whichis served in Wt s. What will be the next ext h e C ommons reminds me of : S cavat ion on the BNScampus: a) a nuclear enema a) Grant's Tomb mt b) Mom home cooking 's b) Buckalew Palace |» c) Dad's home cooking c) Jim Percey's Office m d) Baby brother's diaper d) jw Another new dorm 14. To obtain decentoff-campus 6. Who willassumethe position H housing onemust: of head football coach? J| a) eat a grenade a) Curly the bus driver m b) perform an unnatural sex b) Knute Rockne § act c) Mr. Savage f c) move to Wilkes-Barre d) Bill Sproule I d) invest in a tent 7. The next BNE concert will / 15. The editor of the Campus be: ! Vciceis: a) a Joke i a) Randolph Hearst b) a financial disaster I b) Patty Hearst c) The Mormon Tabernacle 1 c) actually a migrant worker 1 Choir d) just a Bloomsburg lawyer d) The Who? I m From the right hand of God ^ the Produ ction Staff All I wanted w as a fre e game. . Hus ki es I n swa m p over Steelers by Mrs. O'Leary's son Before the Pittsburgh Steelers could count on their guaranteed playoff berth , Headcoach Chuck Noll wondered if the champion Steelers would play any real competition this season. "After winning it all last year," Noll stated in a secret interview, "I wondered if Pittsburgh would really see any actiorf this year. After all- we only play a few small-time teams like Houston, Cincinnati , Oakland and Miami. What we really need is a eood, strong, solid team that will give us a battle to tune us up tor the playoffs. That is where Bloomsburg comes in. Coach Noll went through all his records, along with his assistant coaches and several key players in search of the toughest team in football. After quickly eliminating the re mainin g twentv -five teams in the NFL as, "too easy", the staff went to the college level. They sought after such teams as Ohio State, USC, UCLA, even mighty Perm State, but all were busy preparing for their upcoming bowl games. Then Coach Noll went to the powerhouse small colleges, but they too refused, in an effort to "save their strength for next season." With nowhere to go and roads of possibility closed, SrsHtss KTSgs sSSS Noll came to Bloomsburg expecting to get the same treatment and results. But it was not to be; Coach Bill Sproule and his assistants welcomed the proposition with open arms. Coach Sproule is quoted as saying "Yeah, sure, what do I care, I ain 't gonna be tensive series, la^ "' HaW here next year. " ^* uic &cuuc was set , ana on last Tuesday afternoon, before a packed house at Redman Stadium , the Pittsburgh Steelers took on the Huskies of Bloomsburg State. of m s was ta ken out It was destined to be a Titanic struggle right from the opening kicJcoff , which Bloomsburg returned to the Pittsburgh ten yard line. ( Actually it was Bloomsburg 's ten yard line, it was Bloomsburg 's whole stadium , but they called it Pittsburgh's ten yard line, 1 don 't know why.) From there, starting quarterback Lou Sannutti promptly lost 35 yards in two plays. "I didn 't knmv what to do, " claimed Sannutti after the game, "they were so big, and there were so many of them. " But once the Huskies got used Brad shaw j ^Lfining to the Steelers style of play ' they were no match for them. The offense regained the lost yardage on a quick burst by running back Bruce Smith who carried the ball to the one yard line. From there it was no ^wfeTs FtSwas sfif ts- rffl B^ rySStf : 5-lsSrffts Cries of "pig pile" erupted during the Huskies game with the Steelers. referees stopped the game and awarded the Steelers the ball as a trophy. But that was it for the Steelers , as the Bloomsday Defense shut down any further attem pts. Defensive back Barry Staton ended the first half as he picked off Brad- Shaw 's fifth interr pnHnn n t «,« day. So the half ended with Bloomsburg winning 45-0. The second half was only slightly less exciting than the first , as Bloomsburg piled on 24 more points, and held Pittsburgh scoreless. The handfull of Pittsburgh rooters in the stands chanted for their lost cause; "Dee-fense , Dee-fense" but it was to no avail as the ISS m 'r$&* M»•» the Huskies ran ruptshod over the fl oundering steel curtain. Late in the fourth quarter, just as the fans were piling out of the stadium , Pittsburgh got one more chance. The Steelers were at midfield when Franco Harris managed to breakaway for 20 yards. The Bradshaw «/«»nt to Swann. who carried to the five yard line. And finally Rocky Blier banged across for their first score of the day. The Pittsburgh fans wnt nuts, cheering for a comeback, but it was too little too late. Bloomsburg had decided the game long ago. At the final gun, the score stood 69-6, with you-knowwho on top. Crice t *born on the colle ge campu s by Ad Hoc In these days of modern times when nosta lgia and rel iving the past Is grand , man y walks of life have cashed in on this revival scheme. Clothin g, music, and sports. Yes, sports ! A new , ( yet at the same time old) sport that is being revived from the ancient tombs of Borne is CRICE T. (Chariot Rac ing In College, Et Tu !) CRICET (prounounced krik' It ) would tru ly show the supremec y between the par. ticipants. It would show the outr ight battle of man vs. man and beast vs. beast . Ima gine the excitement of the turn ing char iot wheels being pulled by singles, doubles, tri ples ana quadruple teams of horses- the beast that made this ancient sport what it is toda y-ancient ! College Is where the chariot s are making th ere appearance s and being sent on that rocky road to revival. Higher educati on institu tions such as Naples Universit y, PIT T (Pisa Institute of Techn ology & Tactics ), MIT (Milan Inst itute of Technolo gy ) and th e Universi ty of Rome would have an obvious advanta ge due to previous participation and long time knowled ge of this fast growing sport. Just think of the enthusia sm the frats on campuses across the nat ion would have towards CRICET , Even thou gh fraternaties are Greek , they would gladly Join in on the fun and merrime nt of the revival. As part of Hell-Night, the bro thers could attach a pledge to the back of a char iot and drag him arou nd the football sta dium preten ding it was the Roman Coliseum and tha t they have just slayed their oppenent. (It' s j ust a suggest ion-they 've done everything else!) Onto the sport itself. The premier showing of CRICET In * pronounced (krlk 'lt) w the U.S. will be set in Americas answer to Rome, the Los Angeles Coliseum. Monda y Night CRICET matches will be aired with commentator Howard Cosell at the reins. Color man Ch ar lton Heston will give the fans the ins-and-outs of the sport whi l e the rac ing is tak ing place. The commissioner of this particular sport place. The Commissioner of this particular NCAA sport is Stephen Boyd, an old hand at char iot racing while in his youth. Awl we can 't forget the .^mt *. ai^fe^ k Goodyear blimp, that everpresent dirigible, promot ing Goodyear chariot tires , single ply, belted bias and radial. The multi-team mataches will be held in various internat ional locations for memor y sake. The Sparta Relays is a big match and the Carthage Invitational promises to draw the best of the rein masters. The Rally of the Acropolis is the premier annual event and always has a good showing. In conjuctlon with NCAA ruling in Marathons , a special race has been introduced to CRICET-24 HOURS of THEBES. The Rubic on Road Rally has and will again prove to be a favorite of CRI CET fans throughout the globe. The World Championships will be held in the place wher e It all started over 1000 years ago, the Roman Coliseum. As a sign of approval of the scorers , the fans will have the opportunity to purchas e and then "flash" their reversible "Thumbs-Up ; Thum bs-Down" pennant. (See Insert ) This, of /»/ll1l *< 9A WW«M 9W, BfliHUI AM OHTeS VII mnf/l«l«l ill HITOllCU •>«•• ! CU1U brings back the realn ess of the sport since no emperors will be present to the the signal. Corny? Yes, but reviving once a gain this fabulous sport sends tingles up the backbones of Christians everywhere (NO LIONS ALLO WED ) and will prove to be a sport worth remember ing and a sport of the future. Jt ' ' ' __ ". Bi-weekly J a b berings ^ fll ^^H- . — ^—————- ^ II by "The Kid" We all know the image of the typical college jock-type: a big guy who struts around the campus, with 20 or 30 chicks struggling behind, carrying a basketball or a pair of spikes and using a pair of gym shorts for a book bag. But , then that's what we're all here for isn 't it? To be the perennial BMOC or BWOC because we either know one of these people or are striving to attain that blessed status . No, I say! We are here to engage in what is called a learning experience. We're not supposed to be idolizing someone simply because they were born with more coordination and quicker reflexes. This type of subversive activity is undermining the intellectual fulfillment which the college is responsible for. This is why I must resign my status as sports editor of this rag and call for the discontinuance of all athletics at BSC. A step in this direction will eliminate the overemphasis on the jock-type and further the scholastic achievement. No longer will students be forced to go to basketball or football games or be beaten simply because they f ailed to see a soccer ' game or a wrestling match. They will no longer have to saddle themselves with excruciating grief because they ^H^R\ * FROM BOTH SIDES * # couldn't see a field hockey contest. They could now devote their time to study, sleep and most importantly intellectual bullshit. The students who work to supplement their education on the slop lines in the Commons, would no longer have to compete with the athlete who works at making sure no one steals the Fieldhouse. Just think, Nelson Fieldhouse could be turned into a dorm and Redman Stadium could be converted to an open-air theatre. All the athletic equipment could be auctioned off and the money given to the campus beautification project . To say the least BSC's educational ineptitude would take a giant leap toward success ? "Big Husky " sports institution On the other side t of the proverbial coin, it seems conceivable that all educational courses at BSC could be eliminated and only athletics majntained. After all , if athletics were dropped , students would be deprived of the ultimate pleasure of Delta Pi doggies and SIO scorecards. Every person who would come to this school would be required to enroll in one sport as a major, and then obtain 12 hours in both the social and natural aspects of team athletics. Dropping academia would also end the age old rule of intelligence over stupidity. Nobody could be looked upon as * smarter than anyone else because everyone would be a jock, not to mention the g r e g a r it y t h a t a nonintellectual environment would provide among the students within the institution. The jock could not be looked to as the BMOC because once again, everyone would be a jock. And, with «everyone _ _ ». _ !_!_ _ * being ._ extremely . . peons, popular me iormer wno at one time were not athletes would not have to feel slighted. Haas Auditorium could be converted to an ice hockey arena and all the science labs could be turned into adapted phys. ed. labs. Kehr Union could be changed to a universal weight set and Navy Hall into a sauna. If this were done across the nation with BSC setting the precendent, America would no longer be fat. It's my belief that we should give the students what they u;ant ** %aAAV> TtoniHo fnrfoir A^V^^ AVl^^ vv\IUJ % Joe Vaughn reacts with emotional outburst at the possible dropping of academics at BNS. tnrnnm 'tmt vvillwi A. ^J TT may be too late. Do you want an intellectual stronghold, or a citadel of athletic accomplishment? I must lean toward the intellectual environment, since I will be the feature editor next semester, ' and none of my colleagues ; can adeptly fill the positio.i of sports editor. Running Amuc k by Ad Hoc The feature sports story this week Is on the cross-countr y team and in part icular BSNS's super-runner Stiff Chez. Stiff is a fourteeth semester grad student who claims that running is his life and his goal is "to reach the edge of the world. " Stif f ' s daily workouts consist of a warm up that entails a mild 1ofl from BSNS to Williamsport and back in time for the main run , which is from BSNS to New York City. The first meet the team has scheduled this year is at Kansas State , but since CZZGA has revoked every campus activities use of the vehicles, except for themselves , they must run there as their warm up. They will start on Oct. 1 for the Oct. 19 meet, Just so they'll be there in time. Coach Ronald McPooh has been quite concerned abou t stiff lately. "He's been siacKin g off in his workouts. Did you know that Stiff has dro pped from 600 miles a day to 550 for workout?" Coach McP ooh stated , This reporter posed another ment or of the harrier "Slacking-Off Stiff" . "With all this time runnin g, one would think Stiff' s grade point average would be rather low, is this true ?" With that the coach rep lied, "Stiff' s a student ? " Among some of Stiff' s winnings was the Tra ns-Canadian Foot Rally, which is from Vancouver to New Foundland. (get out a map and see how far that rea lly is) His time was 26 days, 22 hrs., 30 mins., and 2 sees. The teams next race is the East Coast Relays. This is the way it is run. In four legs by startin g out from the Canadian border to NYC, the second leg is from NYC to Richmond , Virginia , third leg down to Charlotte , S.C. and the final down to the Florida Keys, the one that Stiff will try to handle. For this par ticular meet, workouts will consist of distances from BSNS to Chicago and back. f nr> fh« nnA M/mu nnmao Hmft ilUfT WIUV1I V4**«w •«#• *" .v w*«*r question interview with Stiff , as I'm catchin ghim in betweenhis Chicago strut. "With all this constant runn ing of such long distances plus the never endin g workouts , do you ever get sick of it or even tired?" As faBt as he was going at such a stead y pace , Stiff pon- dered the quest ion a moment and with a burst of ener gy responded ,"No." Well , as Stiff slowly runs to the ever setting sun we bid him a fond fare well and wish him good luck on his next race , the grand-dad dy of them all, The Universe Invitational; just try and guess where that one will take him! Governor Schapp (above ) comes out for athletics In a pro-sports rall y at Redman Stadium. Below two grapplers wonder if they will be able t o conti nue t his act ion in publ ic , if we lose our sports program. Mermen entert ain Afr ican swimme rs by Cracked Splinters Last weekend added a new dimension to Bloomsburg sporting events as the Husky mermen entertained the Airican National Swimteam in an exhibition match at Nelson Fieldhouse. The proud African contingent, consisting of 11 swimmers, three divers and three gorillas, swam all the wav from the coast of Africa to compete in this special occasion. Thousands of estatic townspeople greeted the tired crew as they emerged dripping wet from the Susquehanna last Tuesday. Bloomsburg mayor, Richard Nixon, presented the team captain Tarzan Ubunga with the key to the city and a souvenier tape recorder as the squad piled into a '56 Plymouth and were escorted up Market Street in a traditional ticker tape parade. The unusual competition featured such events as the dead man float, ricochet diving, and a marathon swim to the death. In order to make out visitors feel more at home, two schools of piranha were imported from " the Amazon basin and placed in the pool. Husky Coach Eli Not Walkin was also inspired by the special match as he increased his recruiting efforts to meet the challenge of the powerful African squad. Following the national anthems and the introduction of the athletes and foreign dignitaries, the meet opened with the 100 meter freestyle. Competing for the Huskies in this event were Lou Starvin', Marc Spitz an d Buster Crabbe. Competing for the African squad were Curly, Moe and Larry. In what had to be one of the most exciting events of the night, Starvin' out dueled the three Africans despite losing his left leg to the vicious piranha. The Huskies continued their dominence early as they piled up a quick 37-0 lead. However , the wily visitors were not to be denied as they dumped two crates of quaaludes into the Huskies gatorade. The quick move paid off immediately as the Africans captured the 100 and 400 meter relay events as both Husky teams drowned . Realizing his teams plight, Coach Not Walkin dumped a tube of Ben Gay into the athletic supporter of each team m e m be r . With this psychological support the Huskies re gained their form and plowed through the murky, crimson water to gain a 173-21 lead going into the diving events. The Huskies again dominated the diving events as Don't Falter captured the 1 meter dive, and also ran the 73 — dive. Falter held the crowd at awe as he f ollowed his opening belly flop with a 32 somersoult cannonball. Alsoran's clinching dive in the ricochet event was a four cusnion jod in wwui "<= entan gled himself in the American flag in a marvelous imitation of a burial at sea. A slight controversy arose when one of the African divers lay on the bottom of the pool and refused to surface until the judges raised his score. The meet now academic the two squads settled down and competed in the remaining marat hon sw im an d dea d man's float. The latter event is a real crowd pleaser as five members of each squad float on their backs until only one survives. Bill Fuel captured this event with a last gasp effort over Solomon Shickshinny of the African squad . The ' State Police are currently trolling the pool for the remains of the other competi tors. Due to the lopsided and smell of rotting flesh Walkin felt that the match was a good experience to the survivors and added that he will fill the large gap in his squad by an in tensive r e c r u i t i n g program over the Christmas break. The meet helped tune up the Huskies who open their season with a dual meet against the Latvian all-stars to be held in the Dead Sea January 10. the marathon swim was cancelled. Husky team Captain Fuel was awarded the most valuable athlete for his amazing victory in the dead man 's float. Fuel is listed in satisfactory condition at Bloomsburg hospital. Following the lopsided 233-34 victory in which the Husky squad lost nine team members to the elements, Coach Not ¦ - ~ «JBP ir . *- "*en bones ^ u 'e * harm half-time in the least. Surel y the stu dents who have mana ged to rema in awake during an entire frui tball game un ders t and how upset one can get watc hing these j ock s in act ion. M ost stu dents h ave seen t he team make more passes , more Interc e p t i ons an d defi nate ly score more at one weeken d p ar ty than the y h ave throughout the entire season . I see noth ing wrong with the fans constr uctively nrotestincz a g a i nst t h e team ' s performance. Surely with the protec tion of the security guar ds it would be cake to rip out the goalposts on the BSC side since obviously our team doesn 't seem to make any use , . of them . After the first hal f of this action-pack ed game all fans shoul d be allowed to congregat e on field and show some real athleti c ability. When enter ing the admis sion gate , the Bloomsburg Band would definatel y receive a much greater profit by selling th an sets of 8" cold steel rat her pin-ups X?i » by l" pam phlet Sfessft ara beat K sl^sur eteway tosln »™ the opposi ng may t bee tne £! physical violence in the only way we will remain of sound the winner 's r ing. At ld wou stud ents Se buzzer all to ready marS out otv the tteld tw» , m» ai suppor t their team the frultb aU see may v iewers bi*> field ta ckle done by a student thls season . ltba u Even though our fru of the team did not make the top they did state frul tb aU rat ing, (dur ing tr y their best to score should the game ) at ever y They a successful be commended forgame in the and well-played we ran ?ouVcornpetltlo nthatsar castic $8j despite the comments I have made .