Litters to the editor... —TVP>JJiQbr\L A BL^— Students to enter cosmic classrooms? By the power invested in me, by the Creator , in His most infinite wisdom and power , i am making an editorial edict to the students of this college. This decree will be heeded and followed to the max. All students will quit BSNS and join the Student Cosmic Awareness Movement , thus becoming ascetics. We will eliminate all forms of college tyranny. To hell with HB 1833, campus beautification , fraternities and .any other items, which students might be concerned with. In order to be cosmically aware we will give away all of our earthly possessions , take up our begging bowls and roam the country endlessly in search of absolute truth. We will not retaliate against those, who might want to assert any type of repression on us. We will allow people to drive nails into our heads and set fire to our shorts. Thus, we will eliminate apathy through non-resistance. All of this will be possible through that most absolute and omnipotent being, our Uncle Jim. He will lead us to nirvana and never ending bliss, which lies in Harrlsburg . He will be aided by his earthly successor and pupil, Tommy Mulhern. Unto these, we will offer all of our dedication. P.S. Good luck Hoot ! Out damned margins Are you tired of buying reams of notebook paper each semester? And are you outraged at the high turnover rate of these expensive notebooks? Do you feel like the butt of one very unfunny joke aimed at claiming all of your hard earned dollars? Well I so! This gross injustice is being aimed at college students where it will hurt the most-in the notebook. I, for one, am tired of giving over nearly half of my note taking space to a mere margin. When looked at philosophically, what purpose doesa margin really serve? As far as I have been able to ascertain , it's only benefit lies in providing doodle, space (certainly a worthwhile pasttime) But that is not what is in question here. Will we continue to be abused by bid time notebook manufacturing compan ies or will we assert our inherent rights as free people and demand back that space that was so unjustly taken from us. Give margins back to the notebooks, give notebooks back to the students and give Irelan d back to the Irish ! Peg O' My Heart Moran ¦MNamMM ^HM^MHmB ^^Ba^MaH^^HM^KBHHmi ^MHHBlHM ^HM^^^^^MBMi ^^MHMHMHBBMI Anacreonic Society of Bloomsburg State College Journalists f i r st annual meeting Friday, Dec. 17 at St. O 'Brien 's Last Chance Cathedral - B YOP (Bring your own Poltergeist.) B£H?f?tn?frerc73¥1ir8f?3?1 ^1?!B^3?^'^ J"f D %M j*H j %& v j* £j S. I* D) km | " ' j BS J hi *f M ¦2 ** Adviser Sir Richard Pauoge Reporter* Jack Furnace . Stlnkln' Oarlaf , Stuart SlngUi Bar Copy lNd«ri Stiff Smyth* , So Right , Vary forty Tarry Sw»*ny AdvertisingManager Crock ad Spllntan CirculationManager Ilia E-Clolre Danish CopyEditor Koblckle , the tilth laol Miotofraphy Editor* Woynar Palm, Al Paclno Ad Hoc, tha local jock Sport* Editor F««tur* Editor Barbeckrlchogenrot* Mawa Editor* III! Foxhole. Diana Aborlglna* Managing Editor Peg O' My Haart Moran, lady Montagua von Snlpplngton, III Jerry Elseneras . th* Pol fcwln—* Manager ExecutiveEditor Dally Myers , the kid, Esq. C* rto««l»t......, Stava Pratial Tha DAILY MVEIS office* ora located on tha tacond floor of tha Kahr Union and our pawn* number I* unlisted, Tha MYERS I* o lackluster organliatlon having no *at adllorlol policy, but thay try to maintain thalr reputation ai th* ulnteiience of shoddy collegiate |o«irttallsm. Editorial decision* ore mode by the coitlng of foti , but no strict formal I* adheredto, Th* opinion* voiced In tha DAILY MYERS' column*, editorial* , and feature stories , or* usually plag*rl>ed from the N.Y. TIMES. f$ fjfl £* tE) w V* fffl IZ f9 fm JT {*$ fjf •** £j£l XZ. |V fj ) ?T fv tflj ¦«««i[ra«tra«««ira ^i^^^^lr Wind breakers sound-off Fri day at 11 a.m. in the English Seminar Room. Bringyo ur¦ copy • , , / ofjg£ssti& -: *+*WV"*+*W »» m**iff a vmv *vb **¦"VtV*'" t*)iiy| ^ *mmm *Jl^^iiW* The Campus Voice deserves the right to p ick and choose any litters that agree with our op inion. A limit of ten words will be p laced on all letters because that as highas Kahickie can count Don 't bother signing your name because we don't care who writes them. to declare our feelings about the album I think Stuart should Paypoties man who runs the newspaper. definitely review it has such Dear Editor: I would like to bring up the somewhat private topic of going to the bathroom . I think that we here at BSC should install pay poties in all dorms. Do you realize how much time the average student spends in the bathrooms? If they had to pay everytime they entered it would crowded on cut down bathrooms. I do realize that this will create long lines in dorms if everyone goes at once. It could also cause many students to be uncomfortable if they fail to cash a check. BUT I still feel that a tidy sum would be collected and then maybe we could build a community swimming pool or an all night drinking room. The latter being my choice. If not, I would be willing to split the profits with anyone interested. If you'd like to see pay toilets installed in the dorms write me a letter. Send it to Stall 3, 4th Floor Elwell. I'll be glad to hear from you. Yours truly, Chadwick J. Toilet Love letter 1 Dear Editor : (you little cutie) I would like to tell you just how much I love you. You are my heart throb. Each night I dream only of you . . . your soft blonde hair, that marvelous body. I can hardly stand to be without you, therefore, I sit most of the time. I am a busy person but I had to tell you of my feelings. Charlie's Angels keeps my mind stirring. That's the only thing that keeps me from you. If you coiild find it in your heart to send me a picture, I would be overwhelmed . Everytime I read your paper , which is for sale everywhere, I fall in love with your editorials. You are the best. I must stop this, Im becoming emotionally involved . So, until our paths cross, I'll have to blow kisses to you over national TV. Lee really doesn't mind. Be good and remember I love you. AH my love, Farrah Fawcett Music... music Dear Editor : I am truly impressed with your music critic, The only question I have is, when will he get into some heavy music? I will use several cosmic examples. First to keep with the season, Alvin and the Chipmunks have a great new single Santa Claus is coming to town. (They also do a mean Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer). Frosty the Snowman just released a new album that has reached number 5000 on the charts. Get'em Frosty, He's really hot , (Be careful Frosty you'll melt). Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street also have several new albums. The Count Counts is an Communist tendencies. Last but not least I think that Stuart should go dig up Sally Star and do an interview with her. A most wonderful thing this would be. Every kid on campus would certainly kiss his big toe. " So there you have my suggestion. It's a big order to fill but I' m sure Stu can get cookin. Into the Big Time , Warped Record Love letter 2 Dear Editor ; For months we have been faithful readers of the Daily. Myers. In this time we have fast become acquainted with the mind and feelings of the editor of this paper. We feel it is time Through his words we have found meaning for bur lives. His words inspire us to go out and right all the wrongs of Bloomsburg State Normal School . But this is not enough any longer. We can no longer live on words alone. WE MUST HAVE THIS MAN. Dale, we love and desire you. We must have you before the . girls in our dorm throw us out for using the cold shower all the time. If our skin gets any more wrinkled , you won't take us. Contact us before it's too late, our dearest Dale. Our hearts call out for you ! Answer soon. With panting breath, Babyclothes Numptions Sweetbreath Main Chick Campus Voice The people pape r What makes up a successful newspaper? Is it the paper it's printed on? Is it the typewriters that type it? Is it the presses that press it? NO! • Then what is it, you may ask. Well, I'll tell you. It's the people, the writers, editors, and staff that produce a successful newspaper. So what about the Daily Myers? Take the editor for example. His name is Dale. He's cute. It is his job to keep the staff members happy arid working. His job also entails complete responsibility for all the newspaper says. Undoubtedly, this is a big job. But not too big for Dale. He handles it with grace and competency . Even wh en he botches it badly, it is done gracefully. This man called Dale is a true intellectual. He even keeps an armchair in his office for his part time job as Staff Armchair Philosopher. ' Now, for Peggy, the Manag ing Editor. The manag ing editor must be a tough taskmaster, who is responsible for the actual production of the Daily Myers. She often seems to take the role of midwife, seeing that all the staff members .deliver . At times, however, to the staff members, she resembles the slavedriver aboard a Roman galley. About the news editors ; there are two. This leads the av erag e reader to believe that this is a tremendous job. But don't be fooled. The Daily Myers editorial board is trying to solve the unemployment situation by using two incompetents rather than one normal person. The people holding this position are Bill and Diane. They try their best to do the impossible: find news on the Bloomsburg campus. Don 't get mad at them, they try. As for the features editor , Bar b, she is a small, sprightly character. So is her mind, by the way. It is her duty to oversee all the features done by the Dally Myers. Being short as she is, this is a rough job. However, by thegrac eof stilts, the job is done. The sports of BSC are covered by Ed. If he were only a little fatter, he migh t be able to cover everything. Since he is on the skinny side, the reader should not unjustly criticize this great journalist when he does not see his sport in the paper. These are the people who make up the Dally Myers. They are the voice of Bloomsburg State Normal School. ' Too bad they are all mute. The Dally Myers finan ces are han dled by that whiz-kid business manager, Jerry. His duties involve balan cing books (usually on his head) and solicitation for the Dally Myers. He does this solicitation through the largest fleet of prostitutes ever to grace Bloomsburg Stat e Normal School. Vickie is the dear girl whose job it is to try to see how much room all the copy will take up. Th is job entails counting lines and then dividing that number by 7.5. With the help of her new calculator, she has cut down her deviation by 30 per cent . When she gets that other 70 per cent, her work will be perfect. w^rrmT^W ^rrm¦?*»p*^R^I w.mwt'.m wn**lIWHIi'H W n W * t i I [ From all of us to all of you 1 Merry Christmas § Happy New Yea r too!!! f THE KAMPUSKW1ZZZZZZZZ 1.) Will Bloomsburg State 5.) Who benefits from the Normal School ever get an campus beautification project? overpass? a.) The squirrels a.) Maybe during Passover - b.) The contractors. . b.) Not until the ambulance c.) The workmen , service folds. d.) The dogs. -. ' c.) Yes, when hell freezes oyer. 2.) What is the name of the new hall on campus? a.) Monty Hall b.) u-haul c.) Daryl Hall d.) The hall of Montezuma 6.) Who is going to be the next sports editor of the Campus voice? a.) Pee Wee Reese b.) Heywood Hale Broun c.) Peggy Moran (at last) d.) An East Berlin clam. 3.) What is the result of the NEW style of coed living in Montour Hall? a.) Increase in pregnancy rate. b.) Less cold showers. c.) Less cavities. d.) More penicillin consumption 7.) What will be the next surprise BNE (BSCC) have in store for concert lovers? a.) The Eagles b.) The STeelers c.) Enrico Caruso d.) Hunsinger & Surdoval 4.0 How are you getting home after finals? b.) In a plastic bag. c.VFTD d.) COD e.) DOA 8.) What is the new fraternity that is trying to form on campus? a.) OTR b.) GAY c) NBA d.) FDR 9.) What is BSCC? a.) A sub-committee of WBSC. b.) All the above. c.) Bavarian Side Car Committee. d.) Bloomsburg State Connell Corporation. 10.) What do you want in your Christmas stocking(s)? a.) Farrah-Spiget Majors b.) Clean feet, c.) My two front teeth, d.) My two back teeth. 11.) Dale Myers i's... a.) A marshmallow . b.) Kehr Union janitor , c.) Cool d.) Kosmic. 12.) What is House Bill 1833? a.) The college electricity bill, b.) My phone bill , c.) My Girl Bill, d.) Bill Dennis. i3.) Who runs Bloomsburg State View from the shore by STINKIN'OARLOFF Now that the Devil's Sea is Overwith , I feel I should clarify a few things . Despite the fact that the Bermuda Triangle has assumed a reputation of mystery and ill tidings, I do not feel it is deserving of these connotations. The pseudoscientific claims of occult authors are totally without foundation in either fact or logic. Anybody who has been through the area (and that includes me) , will tell you that all that disappearance stuff is just bullshit. I also would like to say that all that backwards aging stuff is dumb. I j ust don't '"WHAT — . K>£S IT know how anybody can believe that people can become younger and younger. Especially when the ways things are supposed to be is just the exact contradictory...Oh my gosh ! Look what' s happening to the typewriter ! It8s geteting bigger and bigger!! My finhers cqn hqrdl y reach the keys!!!! I muxt fin sh th s befor I get to small too tipe. What i said befor about backward aging is not what i think ... (GOO... GIGGLE ... GEEP) ... is ... ( GLUG) ... quite ' ... (MEEBLEEDOOP ) ... what ... (AARG) ... seems to ... be ... DA DA MA MA, WAAAAAAH! "For God's sake, somebody give that kid a lollipop or something." Normal School? a.) Brian Sarris ' prunes. b.) Laubach's Distributors. c.) Sper. d.) Frank Shorter. 15.) Who is the President of CGA? a.) Taummy Mulheam (Uncle Jim's favorite son) ' , b. Cathy Anderson. ; c.) Millard Fillmore d.) IBM 2000. 14.) What is the Snack Bar 's » hottest item ? a.) Ed b.) Hot Tillie. c.) Cold Turkey Sandwich. d.) Dale's shorts. *-