Steve Mar cin Sues Maroon and Gold Bloomsburg State Teachers College
Closes Successful 1950-51 Season
For Slander; Robbins,Baker Convicted
Staff Editors go to Jail Next Week ;
Prosec utor Presents Clear Case
of Circums tantial Evidence ;
Courtroom Crowded.
Judge Frank Greco, officially rendered a verdict yesterday in favor of
Steve Marcin in his claim for damages against the Maroon and Gold.
Before a crowded courtroom , St eve
pitifully unfolded his tale of woe vividly pa inting Bobbins and Baker as
arch villians.
The article which Mr. Marcin contends is untrue appeared in the February 30 issue of the Maroon and
Gold , i t read :
"In the football game between the Sophomores and the
Freshmen, Marcin was ta ken
from the field within five minutes of play after Huck Thomas,
Freshman player, stepped on his
toes. It is rumored around the
College that Marcin has corns."
In his statement to the Judge, Marcin 's Attorney stated , "Look at him,
look at my client, a perfect example
of youth, love and liberty! How
could such stat emen t s be made
against him? I will admit he has
some defects but he is not guilty of
these assertions. "
It was proved to Judge Greco 's
sa t isfac t i on t h at Marcin wa s t aken
from the gym after six minutes of
play instead of five, and the Maroon
and Gold was in error. Marcin offered to prove to the Judge that he
did not have corns and was about to
remove his shoes when the Judge
stopped him and said he would take
his word for this.
Robbins and Baker will be removed to the local ja il next week. Donations will be taken up by the various school organizations to send
flowers to the boys.
o

DEAN KOCH DONATES
FIFTY ALARM CLOCKS

Dean Koch , in order to create disturbance enough for the North Hall
students to awaken in time for the
8:00 o 'clock classes, haB donated to
the boys fifty alarm clocks. They
will bo placed in various parts of the
bui lding, amply protected so that old
shoes, stalo doughnuts or chairs cannot , if thrown violently, harm their
lusty power. It has been rumored
that tho many professors have applauded Dean Koch on his wonderful
gifts, but the Waller Hall girlsl think
the noise will be too close for comfort.

COLLEGE STUDENT PINOCLE TEAM
GETS LETTERS
HELDJIP IN GYM
Walter Yaretsk i Was Held Up Were Awarded by Dean Koch Last
Week ; Second Floor Team
Last Fr iday Evening ;
Wins Cham pionshi p.
Noth ing Lost.
After the tournament games had
ended and the crowd of spectators
had gone home last Friday evening,
W alter Yare t ski remained in the
Gymnasium for awhile. By way of
getting a little physical exercise
"Walt" ob t ained a basketball from
the office and started shooting it
from all parts of the floor. He kept
this up for some time. First he shot
them near the basket and as he became more and more accurate he
moved farther away. He was shooting them from near the center of
t he floor when a wild one wen t over
the backboard and lodged there.
There was nothing handy to knock it
down with so he called to Nick Rudowski , who was sweeping the gym,
for assistance. Nick held him up so
t ha t he could knock t h e ball lo ose
with his hand.

Directly after the house meeting
last week the North Hall Pinochle
champs received their letters from
Dean Koch. Just after the championship series between the First
Floor and the Second Floor t eams in
which the Second Floor t eam came
out vic t orious , Dean Koch wit h all
the ceremony necessary at such occasions and with an emphatic talk,
presented all participants in the
pinochle tournament with letters.
These letters instructed the players
to discontinue the practice of
pinochle playing in N or th H all un t il
all grades were brought up to the
approved standard.

CALENDAR
APRIL 2-B

Thursday, April 2:
Morning, 6:00.
Classes all
morning. Lunch at the usual
time.
Afternoon , 2:13.
Pinochle
Game North Hall, 4:10—Mohan
vs. Adamson.
Evening, 6:10. All College
chicken dinner. Dining room.

Stores.
Afternoon , 2:15. The regular
visit of various couples to the
theatre.
Evening, 6:65. To be announced at an early date.
Mid Night.
Arrival of the
Bunny.
iiifit

Easter Sunday, April S:
All Day. Bating as usual.
Morning, 5:00. Bells and classThe new clothes are becoming
es as scheduled.
to you , believe it or not.
Chapel, 10:10. Roller skating,
College Gymnasium.
Evening, 9:30. Arguments of Monday, April 6:
Basketball.
"Muley " Morris
Morning. Catch up on your
vs. Kreitsser.
sleep.
Afternoon. Chapel. Dr. Snore
Saturday, April 4:
Lecture.
Morning, 8:15. Shopping all
Evening. Baseball game, Colday—Five
and Ten Cent
lego Auditorium.
• mil

Fri day, April 3:

• Mill

tIMII

>

—

Defeat Hicksburg University 99-6 ;
Coach "Huck" Thomas Responds With Speech After the
Game.
The valiant forces of Coach
"Huck" Thomas, basketball ment or
for the last sixteen years, swamped
Hicksburg University in the College
gym by the imposing score of 99
to 6.
Hawk , scrappy forward and mainstay of the Bloomsburg- team, played
a wonderfu l game throughout. His
efforts were well-paid through the
appreciation of the College fans,
who ' presented him with a gold
watch at the end of the game.
"Sheldon " Kingsburg, st alwart
guard , showed his ability by some
wonderful guarding. It is said that
he even surpassed the illustrious .
Golder , who was a star 16 years ago
in 1930.
The shining light of the team was
"Saul" Gutter, the "Galloping
Romeo " of the team.
Throughout
the game his work at the pivot position was sensational.
"Speed" Palsgrove, who r ec eiv ed
his experience back in the early days
with the Scummers basketball team,
was teamed with Hawk at forward
and was still in the thick of the
strenuous game when the whistle
blew.
"Shorty " Hower, diminutive guard
from B er wick , was all over the floor.
Teamed up with Kingsbury, he was
able to make the All-American basketball team, but in his modest way
he refused mention on the team.
The score at the end of the first
quarter was 32 to 1 in Bloomsburg 's
favor. Such passing and shooting !
There was nothing seen like it
throughout the present season, or
any other season.
The Hicksburg team rallied in the
second quarter to outscore the
Bloomsburg team 4 to 3. Just before the half ended , "Hook" Kingsbury got his second wind and turned
a somersault.
Coach Thomas seemed to be in a
mood in the third quarter , for his
stalwart cohorts did not seem to
function well at first , but he brightened up when the boys rolled up 20
points in two minutes. With the
score 5G to 5 in favor of Bloomsburg,
Hicksburg began a second rally
which fell short of two points, but
Coach Thomas ' baskoteers rang up
tho score to 98-0 with four minutes
to play.
Continued On Pago Four

MAROON AND GOLD
/&* * /jN.

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Advice to Young Girls

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THE OBSERVER j
BY D.K.L .M.X. '

I

WHAT OTHER "COL LEGES " ARE DOING ?

Podunk College has the largest
student enrollment of any school of
its kind. The student body is made
up by students from all of the othThe Maroon and Gold Dance Or- er towns having the name of Podunk.
Dear Uncle "Ekab" :—
I am a young girl in my early chestra returning from an ex tensive
¦4: :];
:H >H
teens and am madly in love with a tour has accepted a contract with the
boy from North Hall. He is very Men 's Glee Club and will appear on
The honor of being the only free
movies the night of the . concer t.
bashful.
He
took
me
to
the
school is claimed by a well
boarding
MEMBER PENN SYLVANIA SCHOOL
!
rows
once
and
we
sat
in
different
titution. The enrollmen t
known
ins
FBESS ASSOCIATION
Wha t can I do to make him less
in this institution is limited however ,
We noticed that the clock in Room by the peculiar credentials expected
bashful?
APRIL 1, 1931
D, much to t he con sterna tion of the of those admi tted to the solemn halls
Anxiously,
s t udents , is not yet properly adjust- of repentful learning. Most students
Peggy.
year
during
the
school
Published weekly
ed to the school bell and clock sys- do not aspire to attend this instituof 1930 and 1931 by the students of the
tem.
Dear Peggy :—
Bloomsburg State Teachers College
tion because of its being also the
your
readily
see
letter
I can
from
strictest disciplined school. After
that you are a very intelligent,
The fellows on the Campus are once having entered there is no fear
EX ECUTIVE BOA R D
and certainly taking advanatge of the of flunking out, bu t neither is it posIvor L. Robbins friendly , brillian t, beau tiful
Editor-in-Chief
Baker
Paul J.
thoughtful young lady to seek my fact that the "smoking ban " on t he sible to get out by any other means
Managing Editor
Oliver Krapf advice. My dear, you need a decidBusiness Manager
Campus has been lifted.
un til you have successfully passed
ed change of atmosphere. I suggest
All graduates
all requiremen ts.
that you find a new companion im•EDITORIAL. STAFF
from this school are avoided and
Lois DeMott mediately if not sooner.
Social
For the small sum of $4.83 one even shunned by most people. The
I know
Fred Jaffin j ust
Sports
the person who will suit you. can now purchase a gil t-edged blot- graduates are placed on a very exBeatrice Bowman
Girl's Sports
Lorna Gillow He is a young man with a big pei'- ter in the College Retail Store.
Literary
clusive level. In spite of all this the
Winifred Robbins
Exchange
teachers of all other collleges do not
Helen Keller sonality. Name will be mailed on
Alumiii
James Johns receipt of a ten-year subscription to
Humor
recommend their graduates to atALUMNI NEWS
Carl Riggs Maroon and Gold.
Circulation
tend this ins t it ution which is called
Advisably,
(you probably known by now) SingDid you know :—
Uncle "Ekab. "
REPORTERS
That the class of 1809 had given Sing.
Charlotte Oshornc
Mary Belterly
enough money to build a new library
o
Ezra Harris
Frank Geroski
* * * *
in the grove?
building
Morris DeHaven
William James
Hope
University
is the school that
Joseph McFadden
Ethel Keller
APRIL FISH
Thalia L. Barba
Grace Callender
many
studen
ts
would
like to attend.
Michael Sopchak
That the present library will be It differs from most colleges in the
Suppose someone should call you made over into a living room for the lack of many factors annoying to
TYPISTS
an "April Fish," would you laugh girls of Waller Hall? That this will 1 students. It has no eight o'clock
Marion Hinkel
Mac Evans
and tell them that you were only an be a memorial to the class of 1813? classes , no silence signs in the liFrank Greco
"April Fool? " Probably you would
brary, no t es t s , and no compulsory
not
reply
just
like
that
(for
you
class attendance. "Time out" for
FACULT Y ADVISOR Y COMMIT T EE
would feel that you were no more a
That the class of 1609 is present- girls is only limited by the girls' own
Miss Gray
Mr. Wilson
Mr. Fisher
fool than a fish!) but I am sure you ing a four manual pipe organ f or the "good j udgment." This school also
Miss Turner
would correct the speaker in some chapel?
goes far in catering to the comfort
News From You, About You,For You way.
of its students. It has upholstered
Yet, if you were in Fran ce, it
Tha t due t o a d o na t ion from t he j seats in the classrooms (for those
would be qui te the thing for people
who sleep their way through). The
TO OUR FRIENDS
to say, "April fish !" if you were fool- alumni in general the girls will have lecture method of teaching is always
ed on April 1, "Poisson d 'Arvil" is "ligh ts on " till 12:00? The chief used (comfo r t s t hose ot herwis e in
The Staff members became so de- what the French say, but it means cause for turning the li gh t s off at fear of being "called o n ").
10:15 being the electric bill?
pressed with the thoughts of going "April fish. "
!| SF V
!Jt 1
home and leaving the college for the
In Sco t land , some old-timer might
two-day Easter Vacation that they call you an "April gowk," for it is
In a college somewhere in the East
Tha t the A lumn i of the Dr amatic a speical class is being given to
decided to do something desperate in the old Scotch custom to call a perorder to gain a medium of relief son a ' 'gowk" (meaning cuckoo) Club are having the stage equipped which all freshmen must be exposed.
from such sad thoughts. This issue when some trick is played on this with a special lighting system?
The purpose of this course is to help
is the result. The motto for the day date. Scotland's f avorite joke is to
the beginning students to better unis "Nothing of the truth ," and if you send an unknowing one on a trip to
derstand the language of their "big
fi nd that you have been outrageous- get some eggs from Granny. The
That the Alumni of the Nature brothers " and "big sisters." The
ly treated j ust read a little farther line of direction leads to an eagles' Club have bought a complete camp- course is composed of words and
and find that there are others of us nest on some dangerous cliff.
er 's outfit for the use of the present phrases which disfigure the English
in the same boat. This is an April
Where did the fooling custom cl u b?
language to such an extent that it is
Fool number. Please take it as such. arise for this date of the year? No
not recognizable to most freshmen ,
o
one is quite certain. It may have spirit.
especially those coining from highly
cultural
high schools. A few of the
Joe Gribbin (restlessly) :—"I won- come from India , where the Feast of
Tho firs t records of "April foolder what's holding those girls up? " JIuli was started in ancient times. ing " in England go back about 200 words and phrases are : saved by the
bell , knocked cold , heavy reading,
Wise Co-ed (innocently) :—"The That feast lasts several days, ending years.
on Ma rch 31, and one of the main
take
the gas pipe , made a hit , pull
second floor. "
Many are the ways of fooling
sports
is
to
send
a
person
on
a
foolone
over
on , stvingin ' me, wise up,
u
which have been used—sometimes
ish
errand.
grand
slam
, bawling out , dropped
Tom :— "Have you hoard the story
tho methods have been falsehoods ,
likely
More
the
custom
grew
out
de
a
d
,
knock
your eye out, called out,
sometimes clever tricks, sometimes
about the Scotchman who boarded
o£
the
change
of
the
NeW
Year
Day.
's
on
the
carpet , tune in on this one,
the pay-as-you-leave bus? "
mean tricks,
People in Europe used to count the
In England it used to bo a favorite passing the buck , cut, chissling1, cribJim :—"No,"
year as beginning on March 26 and trick to send a boy to
Tom :— "He's still riding. "
a shoemaker 's bing, cheosit, crank, bluff , drag, pull,
would
havo
feasting
which
lasted
bookstor o to ask for "strap oil ," or break , cut on , razz, 'fess up, stacked ,
o
until April 1. In the year 1504, to a bookstoro
pet, stalled , stumped and neckto ask for a copy of cram,
Policeman :—"How did tho acci- Franco changed the date of tho Now
1.
ing
"Tho Life of Eves ' Grandmother."
dent happen? "
Year to January 1. This change
Harrj sburg Telegraph.
Motorist :—"My wife fell asleep in puzzled many Frenchmen for they
— —— v , _.
the back seat. "
wore used to tho old calendar. OthRuckle:— "So you gave
o
ers decided to make a joke of it, and Editors—And we though all this to teach your girl to drive aup trying
car?"
Colonel Lindbcrg made a brief gavo mock gifts on April 1, crying* timo that April Fool Day originatTurso
:—"Yes,
when
I
told
her to
stop at Colon ; which was grammati - "April fish" to those who thought
ed with tho installation of Fresh- roloaso hor clutch sho let go of
the
cally correct.
that the gifts wore made in good
men customs,
stooring wheel. "
ND. X -C D M P I L E D B V' E K A B "

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Dr. Haas wanted to give the faculty a surpi'ise which would not detract from their professional dignity
nor yet bore the army of knowledgers with mere classroom prattle. He
called in Prof. Hartline, a distinguished biologist and scientist and
laid the problem before him, Apparently Prof. Hartline had been waiting for the chance to speak for he
immediately answered, "The April
Fool Carnival will be at Bugville on
April first. It is an opportunity we
must not miss."
And tha t is h ow it came abou t that
the B. S. T. C. faculty went to the
carnival.
When they started out Daddy
Hartline warned them , "You mustn't
'Kehr ' if the 'N orth' wind do es blow
and make the leaves 'Russel' and st ir
up the dusty 'Rhoades ' because the
'Robbins' will always sing in the
spring even if the rain does 'Patter'
(some) ! We hope it won't be a
'Gray, ' dismal day, for there 's one
thing I want you to see and that is
t he sun "shining on the beautiful
tapestries woven by the mosquitoes."
On the way they passed a 'Fisher'
man , but nothing exciting happened
until they reached the monkey cage
inside the gates. Dean Sutliff poked
his hand too far through the bars
and received a bad bi te on the finger.
But Miss Kline came to the i*escue
with bandage and merciirochrome.
Just then Mr. Andruss yelled,
" 'Turner ' round !"
They all looked in time to see Miss
Mc Cammon 'Maupin' up the sidewalk
af ter a wicked slip on a banana peel.
The whole facul ty had hysterics. The
police, thinking there was a riot, began to congregate around the mob,
but Miss Kavanaugh 'Ward'ed them
off.
Miss Johnston and Miss Mason
wanted their fortunes told, and Mr.
Keller said that was the proper thing
to do. The three of them started
for the phrenology 'Booth' where a
brightly dressed gypsy smiled at
them. Instinctively Mr. Keller reached in his pocket for his purse, but to
his embarrassment it was gone. "I
must have left it home," he muttered
to himself , but to the ladies he said,
"Oh, 'Shaw '! You don't want your
fortunes told now. Let's wait until
we have our dinner." That was a
capital idea, but Mr, Keller made up
their minds to forget the former
whim.
Mr. Wilson and Miss Kulp were
appointed scribes for the day.
After feasting on 'Clark' bar s and
numerous other goodies, Mr, Fenstemaker suggested, "One more 'Koch'
and we'll all go home. We'll take
the 'Shortest way back."

IMPORTANT NOTICE
All Freshmen boys living in North
Hall report to room 62 in Science
Hall at 12:40 today . It is compulsory that you attend. A rigid checkup will bo made of absentees. Please
be prompt,

THE TRIAL OF THE APRIL FOOL

WHEN THE "S" FELL OUT

t »tt— »hh ^— H«i^— Hit—«« ¦-¦««—tlfl— ttH— »H»—— IIB-'—HH*

¦!»!¦¦

" f i tf t

BOOK REVIE W 1

We are relaying this most import"We are thorry to thay," explainant trial directly to you from the ed the editor of the Skedunk "Weak- j
auditorium of B. S. T. C. and as we
iook around we notice not one vacant ly News," "that our compothiting
seat. It surely is a big affair, ladies room wath entered latht night by "Boners by Those Who Pulled Them "
and gentlemen, a huge affair. The t home unknown thcoundrel , who
By Alexander Abingdon.
weather is fair and spring-like— out- thole every "eth" in the ethtablith- 1 This book is as the au thor calls it
side—bu t within our court room men t, and thucceeded in making hith "An Outline of Misinformation. " It
there is an atmosphere of falsecan be read at this time because exness—why shouldn 't there be, f olks, ethcape undetected.
aminations
are drawing nigh and the
"The motive for the miththdewhy shouldn 't there be?
lucky reader of this book can learn
Ah! ladies , the judge enters. Dear meanor wath doubtleth revenge for some illuninating answers to importme , he is a stern-looking person, and thome thuppothed inthult.
ant questions. We doubt that prohe jus t does not appear to be the sort
!
fessors
of our institution could com"It t hall never be thaid t ha t the
1 book for their own
of a fellow one would slap j ovially p
pile
a
similar
"
etty
thpite
of
any
thmall
thouled
on the back. And now—April Fool
amusement. Answers, brillian t, unarrives. A sleek, villainous, hand- villian hath dithabled the Newth, and likely answers come to every person
some man , with a grin that radiates in thith meet the eye of the detethted at examination time. This book will
his general air of trickery. He is not ra t hcal , we beg to athure him that supply you with as many laughs as a
very tall, no , bu t there is enough of he underestimated the rethourceth "Mickey Mouse " comedy. Every
of a firth-clath newthpaper when he
him for slyness.
thinkth
he can cripple it hopelethly j oke inside it's covers is an au thenic
He is being sworn in, folks , oh—
replica of answers to questions given
he shouts—we have it—he shouts— by breaking into the alphabet. We during an examination. Beware of
take occathion to thay to him furth
folks , "April Fool—I had my fingers
ridicule , because as you peruse this
crossed !" Oh—dear me—the j udge ermore that before next Thurthday book you may find a mistake you
is being transformed into a bear, we thall have three tieth ath many once made yourself on an examina'twould seem, for he gr owls and ethe th ath he thole.
"We have reathonth to thuthpect tion paper.
growls.
See for yourself—here are a few
(Oh !April Fool just informed us that we know the cowardly thkunk choice extracts—
committed thith act of vandaltha t we didn 't describe the j ury. who
A grade school pupil who was aski
t
hm
,
and if he ith ever theen prowlThank you, April Fool, thank you). ing about
ed
why the Panama Canal would aid
thith ethablithment again,
W ell , the fate of April Fool depends by lay or by
in
the
defense of the country in time
night, nothing will give
upon five school teachers (feminine),
more thatithfaction than to shoot of war said : "The locks will keep
two electricians (female), three ith
ou t the enemy 's ships."
street cleaners (male), one nurse hith hide full of holeth."
"Hors de comba t means War
(female) , one grave digger (male).
o
Horse. "
A beautiful combination. Eh, what !
"Most bulls are harmless but cows
LOCKER ROOM NEWS
The trial advances with the apstare horribly."
proach of the plalintiff , a Miss Hunt"Revolution is a form of governMario n Mei xell hasn 't talked for ment abroad. "
ings, who is a spinster and has four
parrots. (We never exactly liked a week. No one can understand just
"Homer was not written by Homer
parrots). Oh, folks, we j ust noticed what the trouble is. If not improv- but another man of that name."
that Miss Hunting has a wig, a wig, ed within a day or two a specialist
"Most of Shakesp eare 's plays were
terrible tragedies."
folks (and we always disliked wigs will be consulted.
so). We gather from the discussion
"Chaucer was a great English poet
that April Food kidnapped one of
who wrote many poems and somethe birds and taught it one phrase—
"Be e" Bowman has gained a lot of times wrote literature. "
"You lost your—your—your—April weight. She now weighs two hunNota Bene—I would admonish the
Fool!" The good lady explains that dred pounds and is going strong.
purchaser of this book if it be a colhad a noun been supplied the general
lege student rooming in a dormitory
effect would not have been so annoyto send this book home immediately
ing as to have the polly floundering
after its completion. It is a dangeraimlessly about with "your—your— parrot actually told me to darn my ous book to let lie around your room.
vour. "
sock I ask you, is that quite char- Every visitor picks the book up and
The j ury shake their heads with acteristic of an old maid's tea par- reads the jo kes to you. If you are
a very polite person , of course y o u 'll
frowns of approval. Defend your- ty?"
The j urymen clap their feet and laugh, but if you are not there may
self , April Fo ol, defend yourself.
April takes the stand, but finds stamp their hands—Bravo—Bravo ! be serious consequences. My roomMiss Hunting 's attorney rises to mate owns this book and I am speakthat he cannot keep it in his possession long. The prosecuting attorney the western front. He points his ing from experience. I've made more
informs him that it may be needed finger accusingly at our misunder- enemies since the purchase of this
in another trial, so that he cannot stood A. F. "Where were you on book than I have in my whole life.
Most people do not take kindly to berun away with it. He smiles non- the night of the seventeenth?"
ing
told to "shut up. "
was
in
the
lobby
on
second
chalantly and lights a Murad.
"I
mimic-o-graphs
';
The judge frowns and growls and floor , doing: my
o
vociferates loudly— "No smoking in April Fool!"
"Explain your attitude toward the
court. " And April Fool shouts,
Bender :—"I borrowed my roomvinegar in the dining room, and mate 's patent leather slippers. "
"April Fool, it didn 't light!"
please discard the April Fools. Give
The court goes wild.
Riggs :—"Why?"
"Silence in the court house," cries us the exact facts, remembering your
Bender :— "Because the patent exoath."
the j udge.
pired on mine. "
Our April Fool looks appealingly
"The monkey has spoken ," sings
o
at the j udge, and whimsically says,
out April Fool.
to
tell.
j
udge
want
, I don't
"
"Never mind the monkey—I want "Aw,
Ken. Hawk :—"Tommy, tell tho
my parrot with its former innoThe j udge—"You must."
class
about Lindberg 's great feat.'*
A. F. fortifies himself and states
cence," sobs Miss Huntings.
Tommy
never saw them but
"Ah"April Fool speaks—"that re- in a haltin g manner, "It—is—a— I can toll :—"I
about
Charlie Chaplin 's."
calls the incident to my mind quite n-nuisanco, so I f-f-fed it m-milk—
vividl y. Gentlemen of the Jury, and s-s-sugar."
u
The attorney— "You seo, ho is a
(ladies stuff your ears) I will prove
Griff :—"What' s tho denomination
to you that this parrot was not as criminal to the core of his heart. "
The j ury is retiring with shouts of that bill you loaned me?"
innocent as claimed, and that I servJames:—"Episcopalian , I guess.
ed humanity by teaching it the dis- of "Ray—Ray—April Fool—we 're
It
keeps lent. "
puted phrase. Why, poople, that for you !"
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un—uu—mi—— ¦m—mi—»»—~i >«—««{•

HARRIS HEL D UNDER BAIL ;
Y. W. C. A. GIR LS
NICK RUDOWSKI BEATEN
LOCKER ROOM SENIORS
RELEASED BY FRIEND
ARE ABOUT TO DIE
UP BY ALLEN PARR
ACCEPT POSITIONS
With infinite pleasure we announce
t he success of t he Seniors of the
Men 's Locker Room in securing favorable positions for the coming year.
Although this manifestation of merit
is flattering to say the least, it is no t
surprising. The Seniors inform us
that letters from prominent administrators offering them lucrative positions have poured in like movie
star proposals. For them it was j ust
a matter of choosing one position
from several hundred offers.
•
We note with satisfaction the type
of school that has claimed our graduates of the Locker Room. With
three exceptions, the graduating
boys will be engaged in Senior High
Schools only.
"Stub" Pennington has signed a
three-year contract to teach in the
Senior High School at Wardboro. He
will coach football and teach nursing.
"Ed" DeVoe has accepted a position at Pressville , Pa.
Besides
teaching English in the Senior
grades he will edit the town paper,
"The Pressville Chatterer."
Fred Aten has contracted to serve
in Mifflin Township. He is to receive a special compensation for
doing j anitor work.
Larue Derr is moving' to Pike 's
Peak this fall to take up work with
the moun taineers.
"Mac" McKenzie takes up work at
Mackville this coming term. He will
t each mat hemat ics in t he Senior
High School and play football on
the t own 's professional team. He
•will also direct the Dramatic Society
of Mackville.
E arl Van D ine becomes the new
head of the music department in the
schools of Roaring Wood. Besides
teaching music in the classroom he
will direct the symphony orchestra
and the jazz band , and sing first
tenor in the local choir.
Frank Faus enters the Lynchville
schools this fall as truant officer. It
is rumored that his predecessor died
in office.
Robert Sutliff has accepted a position in the B. S. T. C. He will succeed his father as Dean of Instruction.
Bill Weaver has contracted to
teach science in the Grundy consolid ated school. Besides the regular
class w ork he i s asked t o org an i z e a
G J ider 's Club.
James Davis goes to Belle Center
to teach. He will teach evolution
and sponsor the Boy Scouts.
Frank Golder recently signed to
teach in Spartmore. He will teach
oral expression and domestic science.
Lantermnn has signed to teach in
the Flashport system. He will fill
in his time by acting as fireman for
that vicinity.
u

Miniatur e College has a miniature
curriculum , miniature lessons, miniature periods , miniature books, miniature teachers, and miniature lectures.
The enrollment is not as largo as you
will be led to think at first because
they must have a miniature campus,
miniature buildings, and miniature
students which loaves out all of the
"big folks. "

One evening last week Nick Rudowski was returning to North Hall
af ter working in the town library.
The night was rather cool and cloudy.
The wind was blowing hard , and now
and then large soggy snow drops
spla ttered clown on the pavement and
against the shop windows. Mr. Rudowski but toned his top-coat closely
around him , and with his brief case
grasped firmly in hand , he started
for College Hill. The young man 's
mind was deeply involved in the
problem that he was considering, but
as he passed Bush's Shop he did not
fail to notice an individual standing
there with a half frown on his face.
The man had a dark hat pulled down
over his eyes, and his coa t collar
turned up over his ears, so that
scarcely anything but his mouth was
visible. Mr. Rudowski did not pay
any attention to him at first and
went on walking at a brisk pace. As
he crossed East Street near Hausnecht 's Garage he heard strange
Peering
footsteps behind him.
around he saw the same sinister figure that he had previously passed.
Mr. Rudowski walked a little faster,
but could not control the quivering
in his knees. The figure also quickened his pace. He could not g-o any
faster and still be dignified so the
young studen t decided to be brave
and slacken his pace. As he did so
the figure slackened his. The heat
under the worthy student's collar became very intense. He turned around
and glared at his persistent pursuer.
That sinister individual had his head
lowered , his eyes on Mr. Rudowski's
shoes and was coming forward at an
alarming rate. The student drew in
a quivering bre ath of panic and unwilling to show his fright by rununing, walked as fas t as his leaden
feet would go. Finally, the figure
came nearer and nearer , and as t he
now thoroughly frightened young
man crossed Penn Street it caught
up with him , passed him, and t h en
bea t him up the steps in front of
Carver Hall. .Investigation proved
his pursuer was Allen Parr , w ell
known t r a ck man , leisurely strolling
up to the College library.
r\

ANNOUNCEMENT FOR
STUDENT TEACHERS

Ezra Harris , our highly efficien t
With the new administration of the
of the Maroon and Gold
reporter
many
into
office
Y. W. C. A. coming
tly had a run-in with the
eviden
stair,
place.
The axe
changes will take
We have an
week-end.
law
last
will fall heavily upon those who do
repor
t
that
he was held
authenic
no t come up to standards. It has by a close
released
under
bail
until
been decreed that all of the old staff
came
as a trefriend.
This
news
of Y. W. C. A. officers will have to
to
Mr.
Harris '
surprise
die before Easter. This will be hard mendous
one
could
conon those concerned. The Y. girls many friends for no
like
Mr.
Harris
have found that many kiddies do not ceive a namiable man
receive a visit from the Easter bun- ever doing any thing con trary to the
ny. These girls will dye eggs and i law. The report has it that while Mr.
distribute them among the pupils of Harris was engaged in the barn at
the training school. This is a favor his home last Saturday doing the
which will be appreciated by all many things that are necessary on a
farm he was struck from behind by
those who partake of these j oys .
an unknown force. A bale of hay,
o
falling from the loft according to the
law of gravity, landed on Ezra 's back
NEW LIBRARY REGULATIONS and pinned him down for a considerable time before he was released
1. No silence permitted while in by a friend who was in another part
the library.
of the barn and responded to his call
2. All male studen ts must sit at a for help.
table where there is at least one
female student.
3. Every student must announce his B. S. T. C. CLOSES SUCCESSFUL 1050-51 SEASON
arrival by a lusty cheer. Those
who are already in the library
Con tinued From Page One
must note any new arrival by
The grizzled veteran , Coach
whistling in concert.
4. Candy, peanuts , cigarettes, ice Thomas, was no t content with the
cream and gum will be sold at lead his t eam held , bu t af t er anxious
all times at the librarian 's desk. pleadings by the fans he succumbed
5. All books which deal with educa- to their desires and rushed in Valente and Evangelists, Hazleton protion will be confiscated.
G. Any student who is seen wast- ducts, who t hrilled t he fans with
ing his or her time studying in i their style of play immediately. Then
the library will be suspended with one minute to play Coach
from school for one month and Thomas announced himself to the
will be forbidden to enter thfi li- fans and entered the game, not being
brary at any time.
I satisfied with his products. This was
7. Cushions will be placed on every j a wise move , for Bloomsburg won
|the game, 99 t o 6, as t he whist le
chair.
8. The radio will be in use in the ¦ blew.
n
library at all hours.
i

* * *

These rules will be altered to suit
your convenience.
o

DOYLE KELL ER WILL TAKE
CUSTOMS NEXT YEAR
Af ter checking- up on Doyle Keller's past career the tribunal makes
the following announcement :
"Af ter due consideration we find
t ha t said Doylo K eller , party of the
thirteenth part, did willfully or otherwise not take Freshman Customs
during his first year in this institut ion , said yenr being- 1807. We do,
th erefore , command that he return
to school next year and take tho
punishment he justly deserves. "
It is quite likely that tho students
will observe Doyle next year—he will
probably be seen on the campus with
hi s di n k , black tic, black socks,
tooth picks, mutches and a sign or
two.
o

One of the most welcome pieces of
news which has come from the office
of the Dean of Instruction in many
days is to the effect that it will not
be necessary for students to do practice teaching after this date. The
authorities have arranged that all
educa tion coui'ses will also be suspended so that those who graduate
this year may rest up in preparation
for the strenuous activities of Common cement Week. In former years
the strain on the majority of the students was so great that they suffered
I T 'S T OO TR U E
evil results therofrom and as a consequence wore not in good condition
to persuade the school boards of An oyster mot an oyster
And they were oysters two.
their indispensibility to the school
district of their choice. Thoroforo , Two oysters mot two oystors
And they wore oysters too
all practice teaching1 will bo disconFour
oysters mot in a pint of milk
tinued and all teaching will be done
And
they were oyster stew.
without tho practice.

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WM nimiBi ^B^^^ iMB

NOTICES !
Due to lack of interest among
t he st uden t s, the Freshman class
will no t hold their annual "Frosh
Hop." This has been a decided
failure in previous years so the
class , acting under the suggestion
of Presiden t A. Jones, has decided
to use the money which was to
nay for the orchestra to buy Joe
Gribbin a pair of roll er skates.
Joe is always late for his classes.
—o—
The Thursday night Maroon
and Gold dance will bo strictly
formal for the rest of the year.
Children under eighteen will not
)o admitted.
"This year 's Freshman Class

has o utshone a ll o the r ," remarked

Dean SutlifT. "To show my approci ation , I advise all instructors
to cancel examinations to mombora of this class* and to assign
no work. "
.
.
.
.
i
- ¦ H i-Q I

The Master vacation will beg-in
at midni ght , Wednesday, April 1,
Those wishing to stay homo for
tho rest of the semester may do
so. However , it is requested that
all return for your diplomas Commencement Day.