Not Of ten

All the News

MEW EDI TORIAL
POLICY
r Staff Ha ve Revelation
Make to You.

DRASTIC CHANGES IN
GIRLS ' REGULATIONS
to

ollow students, we appeal to you
cad this article ! We, the new
have a revela t ion t o make t o
! How many of you know of the
er-handed business that has been
g on under your feet? How many
v, have woken up and discovered
seething turmoil that surrounds
ast week there was an editorial in
c columns denouncing the manin which the Junior Class was berun. That article referred to the
ent administration of that class
)eing an oligarchy. A reference
'ericles was made. If Pericles
Id be resurrected for one week
hear of the Junior Class oligar, he might give the laurels to that
linistration , but if he could have
ved and studied the conditions
ch existed in the management of
paper, he would have given up
crown and sceptre and gone back
he hell for all political bosses in
ch he has been living for over two
usand years. In parting, he would
e made the statement that when
members of t he old sta ff died , he
sure to have company. Even the
fi t Mussolini, or the Czar of Rusor Fr ederick the Grea t would no t
o been able to give them pointers
how to suppress the people better,
'he old editor-in-chief was a boss
he first rank. He was, in a ddi t ion
being editor-in-chief of the paper ,
presid ent of the Senior Class. He
ioved in taking all the j obs and
ning things to suit himself and
icrnlly did. He chose his own asiate 's, and , while doing i t was sure
t t hey would a ll b e wo rt hy t ools ,
pers , and crooks. He was right.
;y j ust ate -out of his hand. Somees they worked up little plots of
ir own , by which to gain control or
ognition in some important body.
nust be owned that they, were very
ver at this. But , to continue , t his
up proved to . bo the most nef nria , criminal , wasteful, inefficient ,
^-confident , stuck-up, etc.— (a very
ge supply of adjectives is needed lo
ceribe them)—group that ever had
itvbl of such an important thing in
«ol life as the school paper.
Tho school paper is supposed to
« news. It is supposed to be run
tall tho students and the editors to
rmer ely honorary. Every one is
[posed to be allowed to contribute.
i paper is supposed to voice tho
ihcs of the school , to bo the mouthco for all activities, and the first
sor in which literary material of
t'th should be inserted.
Jmlor tho old regime tho paper did
i givo news. Much material, when
uvme out, was two or three weeks
Though supposod to bo run by
ttihuod On Pago Eigh t

NEW RULES TO GO INTO EFFECT

Down with the old, on with the
new! That 's our motto. So, a few
weeks ago we abolished the Old Student Governmen t Council and put in
a more intelligent and sympathetic
group of girls. The old Council were
too old-fashioned , too narrow minded
and did no t believe in the modern
doc t rine of women 's rights. They belonged to the age of restraint , to the
age of the shrinking violet. The girls
must be regulated from a women
view-point and so we elected a lot of
girls who were known to be entirely
modern and sympathetic* with their
ideas and liberal in their belief of women 's rights.
Thus the new government was organized. Committees were appointed
to take up various rules for revision.
Af ter several weeks of consultation
a new set of laws were agreed upon.
These rules were organized from an
intelligent, broad-minded standpoint ,
taking in to consideration their value
to the school as a whole. It is hoped
t ha t the enforcement of these rules
will lead to a bigger and better social life.
For the benefit of all we will endeavor to enumera t e a few of the new
restrictions and liberties :
I. A telephone will be installed in
each room for private calls in
order to pi'eve.nt trouble for
the office girl. With each telephon e the girls will receive a
li tt le red book so t ha t t here
will be no danger of getting
da tes mixed.
II. A radio with loud speaker will
be ins t alled in ea ch r o om so a s
to encourage appreciation of
good music through hearing
George Olsen and his band , the
Ipana Troulladours , etc.
III. Hours :—The Junior girls will
not be allowed out later than
midnight. The Seniors may
have early privilege until 2 A.
M., except when late permission
is granted. In that case they
may be out until their conscience hurts.
IV. In regard to private cars :—No
girl is allowed to possess more
than ono car. However , she
may utilize the boy friends
when necessary.
Parking stalls will be constructed in the vicinity of the
Athletic Field. The following
are tho official parking rules :
1. No chaperonos allowed.
2. Lights ore taboo.
8. Parking parties must consist of not more than two persons.
4. No screaming allowed.
5. Each ear must be provided
with a thermometer.
0. A stop watch must bo in-

stalled to prevent earl y hours.
7. Parking time limited to
two hours.
V. Personal parking boo ths will
be erected in the four corners
of the lobby and in all main
halls. Ferns, palms and pink
lights will add to the effect.
VI. Dances :—No girl may attend
more than three dances at
West Side Park. Girls are set
to carry their own flasks—the
boys will provide them. Private dances and week-end parties held by fraternities and
sororities will be lef t to the
discretion of the said organizations.
Rules for dancing:
1. No girl allowed to dance
after her twelfth drink.
2. Each girl is responsible for
the qualifications of her man.
They are : must be in full dress
attire ; must have a manly
mustache ; must be not less
than six feet tall ; and must be
either a striking blonde or a
dashing brune tte.
3. Speed in dancing will be
regulated by the enticingness
of the music.
4. Original dances always
welcome.
VII. Lights :—The dormitory halls
will be equipped with shade
lights. Lights may be on all
night for the convenience of
the girls coming in late.
VIII. Smoking:—If the girls can convince the Council that smoking
r oom s ar e essen t ial , t hey w ill
be equipped for their convenience. No cheap smokes are
allowed and not more than
t h r e e varie t ies t o be u sed i n
one room.
IX. Campus Equipment :—Orders
have been sent in for swings
and benches to adorn the grove.
Rental of this equipment for
private use may be obtained on
request . No special campus
promenade will be mapped out
for the Junior Prom.
X. Classes :—Each girl will not be
allowed more than three cuts
•' per week. While attending
classes each girl must have at
least one eye open to the activities and at least two brain
cells alert to instructions.
Tho above include the maj or regulations. Any suggestions will be
gladly accepted by tho Council.

PROF.BEATEN UP
BY STUDENT
Mr. Rea ms Was Not Seriously
Injured.
*

Not long ago Prof. Reams left his
place of abode with his brief case under his arm , and wended his way
through the streets of Bloomsburg to
the Normal School. As you all know,
Prof. Reams is our most beloved social studies master.
He started out this bright spring
morning withou t a single care. How
could he have one when all the world
about him was full of sunshine and
the birds were singing their joyful
carols. As he neared the corner of
Iron and Main Streets, he passed by
a peculiar looking individual , standing there with a half frown and half
snicker on his face. The man had a
dark hat pulled down over his eyes,
and his coat collar turned up over his
ears so that scarcely anything but
his mouth showed.
Frof. Keams did not pay any atten tion to him at first and went on
walking at a brisk rate. As he reached the bottom of the hill near House-^
nick's Garage, he heard strange footsteps behind him. Peering around ,
he saw the same sinister figure thai:
he had previously passed. Prof.
R ea ms moved a li tt le fas t er , bu t could
not control the quivering of his knees.
Deciding to be brave, he slackened
his pace. As he did so the figure
slackened his. Halfway up the hill he
looked around and found that the figure was still dogging his footsteps.
The distinguished professor looked
back and glared at his pex'sistent pursuer. That sinister individual had
his head lowered , his eyes on Prof.
Reams ' shoes and was coming forward
at an alarming rate. The teacher
drew in a sobbi ng breath of panic and
unwilling to show his fright by running, walked as fast as his leaden
feet would go. Finally, the figure
came nearer and nearer , until, reaching the top of the hill , the odd individual passed the Prof. At • last,
after m an y effo rt s, Prof. Reams, the
only rival of Edward Payson Weston ,
the great pedestrian , had been beaten
up the hill by a student at Normal.
—6. S. N. S.—

STILL FOUND IN DORMITORY
•Prof. Keller Makes Startling Discovery Friday Evening.

Just after the lights went out last
Friday evening, while making his usual rounds, Prof. Keller sensed a peculiar odor in the dormitory . He immediately sent for BUI Trump and
both made an investigation. Thoy
searched the building from top to
bottom and found nothin g until they
THESE REGULATION S WILL GO canflJ .to the first floor. There thoy
discovered that "Jigg "s Janoll's pipe
INTO EFFECT SEPTEMBER
is still found in tho dormitory.
1050.
*

1 1 1 »

MAROON AND GOLD

MY HOUND DOG

FACULTY RESIGNED

This dog that I own is considered Much Commotion Caused. , Students
Were Astounded.
to be a dog that hunts game, but the
only
thing
that
makes
him
a
hound
is
Published weekly during the school year of 1926
During the past week a strange inand 1927 by the students of the Bloomsburg State his nose. It is so long that he has to
Normal School for the interests of the students ,
cident
occurred which was very ashold
his
head
erect
so
as
to
prevent
the alumni , and the school in general.
its touching the ground. His ears tonishing. All classes were dismissare too short for his head and his ed on Thursday. Students assembled
EDITORIAL STAFF.
body too thick for its length . His but the teachers failed to appear.
gait is similar to that of Ichabod Class after class came out into the
Crane. Therefore, this is one of the halls spreading the glad tidings of the
Josephus Krafchick l'easons that convinced me to name teachers' failure to appear.
Editor-in-Chief
Soon some level-headed person behim Ichabod. He has an immense apGeorge Bamford petite and has very much trouble to gan to think about the situation and
Editor-Elect
please it. He would rather follow a asked that all students assemble in
butcher 's wagon to get a morsel of the lobby. When passing Dr. Reimmeat now and then than hunt game. er s office while going hto the lobby,
Associates:—
Once he waited a whole day by a the students noticed the teachers asHope Schalles.
butcher shop for a bone. Talk about sembled there. When the s.tudents
Dot Gresh.
cats being lazy, my dog has them all had assembled , Prof. Shortess was
Barney Gallagher.
beat. Many times he does not get up seen to come out of the principal' s
Jakie Baum.
to eat his meals even though he has office. He told the sad news of our
Stasia Zimolzak.
entire faculty resigning.
an immense appetite.
Elizabeth Nagorsku
The students were astounded.
Iehabod had gome painful experMarion Marshall.
iences for his age. His leg was once Many began to weep. Order for a
Tax Davis.
caugh t in a fox trap which caused time was unattainable , but finally the
Elizabeth Blackburn.
him to be lame for six months after. crowd was subdued. A committee of
Mary Densavage.
A
year later he fell on a porcup ine j students was elected to see the PrinEvelyn Harris.
while
trying to jump a fence ; that I cipal in order to have the condition
Lee Banghart.
same
day
his nose was bitten by a explained. After an hour of bellowBlanche Fahringer.
ground hog, that made it swell twice ing, etc., between the group, the
Lucia Noll.
its normal size. In that same year ho students were pleased to see the comEx. Matthews.
was
shot by his owner. I think this mittee appear with smiling fa ces and
Raymond Hodges.
was
forunate for I did not have to carrying a long chart. Here they disRobert Dew.
put
a
mark on him as a brand for j played a list of our entire faculty and
Joseph Grimes.
recognition. Through these incidents their signatures on the dotted line
Ichabod found out that experience where they had re-signed their contracts and would be back with us to
teaches
fools.
Subscription price—$ 1.50 for resispend another happy year.
A
hound
dog
is
supposed
to
track
dent students and alumni.
game
at
the
end
of
his
first
year
of
Entered as second class mail , at the
—B. S. N. S.—
Bloomsburg Post Office , Bloomsburg, lif e, but my dog did not learn how until
he
was
two
years
of
age.
At
first,
Penna.
he tracked game backwards , in oth SHUMAN HELD UNDER BAIL
Office—293 1 North Hall , Blooms- er words, he back-tracked. To make
burg State Nornu.l School , Blooms- him track the right way I had to de- Had Run-in
With Law Over the
burg, Penna.
'
velop his sense of smell and show him
Week-End.
the difference between old and new
This I done by giving him
I
Harold Shuman , our good-natured
News About You—of? You—For You. scents.
|j pepper to smell and this was further friend from Mainville , had a run-in
helped by his colliding with a skunk. with the law over the week-end. It
When the hunting season comes was a great surprise to his legion of
around
he believes in a short working friends for no one could conceive an
"JAP" FRITZ SINGS
day, for he works only one eighth of amiable man like Mr. Shuman ever
doing anything contrary to the usual
SOLO BY REQUEST his regular time.
Ichabod at the present time , is nine custom. While engaged in the barn
years of age. His frame is spent , his at his home on Saturday doing- the
whiskers
are gray and his tail is no i many things that are a necessity on
On Wednesday of this week chapel
longer
full
of life. Although he does j a farm , a bale of hay, falling from
program was turned over to Miss
not
hunt
any
more his appetite did the lo£t, according to the law of gravHarriet Moore who conducted the
not
weaken
,
for
he still eats every- ity, struck Harold on the head and
group in community singing. An exthing
that
is
given
to him. Now he pinned him down for a considerable
cellent program , which was well ardoes
three
things—eat
, sleep and time before he was released.
ranged, wns enjoyed by all the studdream
of
his
younger
days.
If he
ents.
—B. S. N. S.—
After the singing of the third song could talk he would say, "I have clone
by the group, Miss Moore asked for my life 's duty. "
volunteers from the student body to
"ECKIE" FAILS TO COM2 FORTH
—B. S. N. S.—
render vocal selections. Two of our
old stand-bys, who nre always willing
"Eclde " Kraynack , when coming
to assist us, sang some favorite old
from the auditorium after the last
folk songs, which were suggested by
Musical Artists ' Course number was
the group. They were Miss Ruth
Awarded by Coach Booth Last summoned by Bill Trump to come
* Smith and Miss Margaret Hartman.
forth and assist in handling the
Week.
Then we returned to the group
crowd. "Eckie " slipped on the steps
singing. The first song which we sang
and in the rush Andy Ferman came
Tho Locker Pinochle chr.mps re- fourth and "Eckie " was forced to
was "Love 's Old -Sweet Song. " As
the singing progressed , a high pitched ceived their letters from Coach Booth conic fifth.
tenor voice of much capacity soon last week. Just after the champion—B. S. N. S.—
filled the auditorium and this voice ship series between the Ivey and Rewas the only one that could be heard. mus Fowler teams in which tho Ivey
NOTA BENE
Miss Mooro had the different sections boys came out victorious , Coach Boo,th
of the auditorium sing separately in with all the ceremony necessary at
order that sho may detect this tenor such occasions and with an emphatic To our I'oadcrs :—If perchanco you do
not know or cannot ascribe a reavoice. After much skilled detective talk , presented all participants in tho
son for many of the effusians
pinochle
tournament
with
letters.
of
the
voice
was
work the owner
you have noted throu ghout this
Those
letters
instructed
the
players
Miss
Mooro
p"
Fritz.
found to be "Ja
f
issue, kindly take ti glance at the
to
discontinue
tho
practice
in
the
much
low*
sing
then requested that ho
dat e and remember the signifl.__j
Locker
Room
until
till
deficiencies
group
are
the
»o
low
that
n fact ,
ei
canco of it.
removed.
could not hear him.
Friday, April 1, 1927

PINOCHLE TEAM GETS LETTERS

•

WHEN THE S FELL OU;

"We are thorry to thay." expl
the editor of the Skedunk \\
News, "that our compothing
wath entered lath night by thon
known thcoundrel , who thtole
"eth" in the ethtablithment.,
thucceeded in making hith et
undetected.
"The . motive of the mitlu
doubtl eth wath revenge for i
thuppothed inthult.
"It thall never be thaid tin
petty thpite of any thmall t]
villian hath dithabled the Newll
if thith meet the eye of the d
rathcal , we beg to athure him tl
underestimated the rethourcet!
firtht-clath newthpaper wliei
thinkth he can cripple it hope
by breaking into the alphabet,
take occathion to thay to him fu
more that before next Thurthd;
thall have three timeth ath
ethetli ath he thtole.
"We have reathon to tliuthpec
we know the cowardly thkunl;
committed thith act of vanda
and if he ith ever theen pin
about thith ethtablithment aga
day or by night , nothing will g '.\
more thatithfaetion than to tho<
hide full of holeth. "
Mass
—B. S. N. S.—

WELCOME ANNOUNCEMENT
FOR STUDENT TEAC
Students Not to do Practice Te;
After This Date.
One of the most welcome pie
in many moons is to the effec
news which has come from the
it will not be necessary for sti
to do practice teaching aftt
date. The authorities have an
that all education courses will a
suspended so that those who
uate this year may rest up in
ration for the strenuous activit
Commencement Week. In f
years the strain on the majorit
the students was so great tha
suffered evil results therefron
therefore were not in good con
to persuade the school boards oi
indispensibility to the school d
of their choice. Therefore , all
tico teaching will be discontinui
all teaching will be done witho
practice.
«-B. S. N. S.—
Prof. Sutliff made a suggc&l
faculty meeting last week th
students be allowed four cuts ii
class per week.

PIA NOS
12 W ORLD FAM OUS MAK

To Soloct From at Special Di
to Normal School Studenta
Their Families and Dolivoi
ed Anywhere.

OLIVER YOHN &

234 Mill Street
•:• Danvill
Write For Froo Catalogue

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LILLIAN

—swearin ' at a lady . Anyway, I
don 't believe you have enough dough
"Airy Fairy Lillian " was wha t her
;t ty you are by the light o ' the
This is the beginning of my mar- to buy
your
salt.
Then
she
turned
"
moon
velous tales asid experiences which I • on her shapely heel , that bespoke friends called her in that aristocratic
r can I leave you all so soon?"
have encoun tered throughout my aristocracy to the nth degree and ! old Sou t hern cown wh ere she was bor n
and reared amid the palmettos and
s he spak e with sickening grin,
eventful wanderings. Many Ftrange fiendishly remarked , "I'm a lady,
I' pines of Southern Louisiana. An!
le the tears run up her chin.
things I have learned concerning the am , and don 't you forget
it. I know
intricacies of the unique which I my onions j ust so good that I can buy ' "Airy Fairy Lillian " was wha t her
friends called her at the Midwestern
—tonigh t we must be wed—
would impart to you , oh , favored of my own sherry !"
Academy for Young Ladies.
certainly and surely, I lose my Allah !
swept
Ah!
with
what
elegance
she
"When she was a Junior she fell—
head."
Here beginneth the first prevarica- away from me! How the lightnings
in
love with a picture ! Her friends
rfully she smiled through the tion. It has so pleased Heaven that flashed in her lovely eyes! How faspicked
her up and set her on her feet
pleasant gloor,
it was my fortune to find myself be- cinately she chewed her gum ! The
, nevertheless, she remainagain,
but
mt a lovely, maddening after- wildered in the streets of New York. ' Houri who dance in the Garden of
ed
in
love.
The picture belonged to
noon !"
I could contrive of no means of shel- Allah were not more delightful !
,
roomie
her "
" Lucy Gates, of Atlanta
ter, as I had spent my last farthing
However
,
when
she
left
,
a
great
likeness
of her brother Bob.
s you who make me feel so blue— for a flask of "white mule," purchas- mob laid hold of me and bore me to and was a
Lucy
wrote
to
Bob and told him
you don't give a darn—now—do ed from the most cunning boot-legger
padded
they
cell,
for
said
that
I
had
a
wonderful
charmin g "roomyou? "
in all Christendom. (May Allah pre- not "zee dolla and zat ze -belfry was ! about her
impressed
with his picgrew
who
was
ie "
1"—she spake , her nose
serve him).
great
molested
wiz
ze
bats.
A
sad"
young busia
successful
ture.
Bob,
red—
So, pacing feverishly up and down ness came upon me and I pondered
was
of course
of
Atlanta,
,
ness man
1 give you my all—a cold in the Broadway, I came upon an abode of
Suddenly
I
rememon
these
things.
much
flat
tered.
very
head. "
no small extension. It measured one bered that it is written, "Gentlemen
One day when he was in a romantic
hundred fif ty cubits in length. (I be- prefer blondes. "
mood he addressed an epistle to "Airy
> you love me? Ah—please say ing geometrically inclined measured
Ah! yes. Qui te so, bu t a corollary ' Fairy Lillian " and inclosed it in a letit with my all-seeing eyes).
so—•
of that I have discovered to be is ter to his devoted sister. Thus the
So, I discarded my sandals on the "Blondes prefer gentlemen. Thus
very liver aches to know !"
I]
"
; turned a beautiful bright blue or threshold and salamed before enter- wrote it in my little note book which j romance began. Lillian sent him let, an embroidered pillow top and
ing in fear that this might be one of j I carry on my wanderings.
jade ;
|ters
quart
after quart of some good old
narking that pink is an unique Allah's fair temples. I soon discovMORAL—D o not make psychologi- j stuff. He in return sent her orchids
ered my most erroneous error, be- cal experiments on movie actresses
shade.
and genuine Egyptian cigarettes. He
cause a tall dark man st ole t oward me and Bowery toughs.
placed an order with a reliable firm 'to
on 't you know that you 're driving wriggling like a boa-constrictor that I
Here endeth the first tale.
send them to her every week.
once choked to death in the jungle s
me crazy,
By Ashur-vani-val.
The romance ripened into love and
wonderful , wind-blown, rose-red of Africt. (Pray, do no t excite yourduring her Senior year, Lillian and
self , I will relate this adventure to
daisy. "
¦
""Xi • £) • IN • O » ¦"
Bob became engaged. The wedding
you anon).
wn her ear I saw a trickle,
was to take place in July, a fe w weeks
"Mo st mighty, " I screamed , "imh, how can men be so fickle !"
af ter Lillian returned home. All
pa rt to my all-listening ears what doAS YOU LIKE IT
prepara
tions had been made ; the afmicile
I
now
inhabit
!"
> turned from him her luscious
fair
was
to be held in a large church ,
Ah
he
bowed
!
"
,
zees
ees
ze
"
"
I'd rather go to see my queen
lips,
and Lillian was to have eight bridesReetz-Carl-ton. Do you weesh zee Than take a trip to see the Dean.
ciding to travel on the ships—
maids.
e wen t t o Chin a an d ma rried a coffeeee? She ees hot!" (He possess- I'd rather sleep than go to class.
Two clays befor e the wedding, Lilj
argon
ed
the
of
the
streets).
I'd rather—but I can't, alas !
Sw ede ;
lian received a telegram from Bob
" I replied in a low voice, "do
;hey say she raised an awful breed). yo u"Aye,
stating that owing to business he
give it away?"
For if I hope to e'er go through ,
would
be unable to see her until the
He murmured "She cost two dolla. " I'll have to work and study, too.
ice he made of love such a messy
of their wedding day.
morning
However I am unacquainted with the But if I'm al w ays w i t h my quee n,
ju mble—
The
wonderful
day dawned bright
native
tongue
and I was empty as to When June comes around , I'll see the
i ran away to the African j ungles— "
was to be
ceremony
and
clear.
The
Dean.
it he was sorry that he missed her, what this parlance meant.
but
at
nine
o
held
at
noo
n,
'clock LilNevertheless, I seated myself opid so died by the squeeze of a boatelegram.
Bob
lian
received
another
posite a beautiful damsel , fair enough
constrictor.
of
the
would
meet
her
in
the
chancel
to grace Allah's harem. Her eyes
immediately
before
the
wedchurch
were like the stars that glitter in the *:«]|| llllllimHIIIIIIIIIIIIC }lllllllllllinilllllllllll»lllllll!llllt ]||IIIIIIII,« ;
—B. S. N. S.—
ding !
Nile. Pier hair was as fair as the §
I
Swedish waitress 's and she was as
I The church was crowded. The
)LLEGIAT E CORRE SPONDENC E straight
wedding march pealed forth and Liland tall as the cedar of Leblian slowly marched down the aisle
anon.
ES
5
ar old dad , I take my pen
on her father 's arm , preceded by the
"Ah"—I though t, "a blonde !" It —
5 bridesmaids. At the same time Bob
let you know that I need ten.
is written , "Gentlemen
prefer
you are short , a five will do
blondes. " She informed me that she »Miiiiiiiii [] iiiiiiiii )iiuiiiiiiiiiiiiuiiiiiiiiiiiic ]iiiiiiiiiiiit ]iiiiiiiiiniE» :< and his best man marched in from
eally hate to bother you.
i the chancel. They met at the altar.
would prefer sherry.
lucking five , then send me one,
She raised her eyes and saw him for
"Ye gods and by the Holy Mither ,"
tst go to class, your loving son.
the
first time in her life. A shudder—
I reiterated , "don 't make me got my
pause
! Bob was a negro ! Tall ,
a
religion befuddled or by Allah and
young,
athletic
, but black ! The pure
Confucius , I'll lose my temper !"
proclaiming itself in
blood
of
his
race
All of this I stormed out in the lost
gazed at him ,
every
feature.
Lillian
tongue of the Modes and Persians. My
(Below the Square)
bowed
her
head
and
the
minister beface was a mass of contortions and
*' grimaces.
gan
the
service.
Wo Ha ve the Best
I tore my hair and bit my Bloomsbur g
-:-:- Pa. "She married a negro , did you
steely glitter entered my
thumbs.
A
,
••
PASTR
IES
SUNDAES ,
say?"
eyes, I threw a fit!
* * ? ?
CANDIES and LUNCHES I!
Why, of course. You seo, Lillian
The big blonde damsel rushed towas
a full-blooded negress herself.
**
ward me and criod , "Say, young fella ,
Watch For Our Easter
you 'nfc not in Bagdad ; cut the rough
• •« stuff
Advertisem ent.
and shut up !"
•
• • With that she gave me one tremen- DRY CLEANER —
YOU CAN GET
dous wallop that made mo see the
IT AT
crescent of Allah and I thought I was
Bush 's Quality Shop
—PRESSING —
in the seventh of heavens.
;
* * In her beautiful native tonguo sha
—REPAIRING
—|

I COMPLIMENTS

|

BARD PURSEL

CLOT H I E R

;;

RITTER 'S

FINAL

RESULTS

Nanticoke Wins Tournament

NEWPOR T HIGH
ALL-TOURNAMENT NANTICOKE TEAM WINS
RECEIVES THIRD
TEAM HAS
CHAMPIONSHIP
SCHOLAS
TIC
PLACE HO NORS
BEEN SELECTED
Announcements Made by Chairman
of Tournament . Awards
Are Presented.

A five man bombardment of the
Old Forge basket in the second half
of the final game of the Tournament
gave Nanticoke High a 29-18 victory
and the championship in the sixth anFirst Team.
nual scholastic basketball tournament
of this institution, which closed last
Forward—Zara , Old Forge.
Forward—Yezerskie, Coal Township. Saturday night.
A much excited colorful crowd of
Center—Butkewicz, Nanticoke.
Guard—Bahaley, Old Forge.
more than 1,200 fans which saw NanGuard—Shepella , Newport Township. tieoke deprived of its usual chance
to represent this district in the State
////
Champ i on ship gam es, gained some
Second Team.
solace by getting a leg on the handForward—Donahue , Nanticoke.
some
silver basketball which is awardForward— Bendar , Luzerne.
ed
to
the "winning team.
Center—Bendock, Newport Township.
The game was a thrilling battle beGuard—Bosta , Old Forge.
tween two great scholastic combinaGuard—Sanders, Coal Township.
tions. Nanticoke won because of a
t * t *
better passing game, which after beThe awards in the Normal School ing rep u l sed in t h e firs t half , got
Tournament were presented by Dr. through Old Forge's defense in the
G. C. L. Reimer, immediately at the last two periods. "Sheriff" Zara , Old
close of the final game Saturday Forge captain and the most brilliant
night.
shot in the tournament , was held to a
The regulation size silver basket- lone field goal by Eddie Butkewicz ,
ball , the championship award , was tall Nanticoke forward and an outpresented by Dr. Reimer to Captain standing player in all departments of
Donahue , of Nanticoke. The trophy, the game. Zara was the same brilplaced in competition three yeai's ago, liant player in the final game as he
must be won three times by a school was in the previous games but he
to become in permanent possession. found a worthy opponent in ButkewTaylor , Newport Township and Nan- icz. The Old Forge flash was held
ticoke each hold one leg on the cup.
without a field goal in the first half
Individual medals weie awarded to but in the second half he dribbled
eight members of each of the first through the whole Nanticoke team for
three teams. The medals for the a score.
members of the Nanticol-c e team were
The cooperation which the Nantigold , for the Old Forge team silver , coke boys displayed was at its best in
and for the Newport Townshi p team the last half. The passing was exbronze. The medals were similar in ceptionally accurate and this paved
design. On the front was the design the way for the 10 field goals made in
of two basketball players jumping 1 the last two periods. Each of Nanticenter and on the reverse side was j oke 's regulars scored twice from the
the inscription , "B. S. N. S. Tourna- flooi\
ment , 1927. "
Bosta , Old Forge back guard , was
Those receiving medals were :
• ruled out of the game in the first few
Nanticoke—G. Donahue , Ed But- minutes on personal fouls. Butkewkewicz , Ed Estivanick , Anthony Dick- icz of Nanticoke , was ruled out of the
son , Alex Grudowski , M. Reilly, S. game in the last half with but a minMaximowicz , Henry Williams.
ute to play.
Old Forge—Znru , Bahaley, SeraA capacity crowd witnessed the
fine , Bosta , Marino , Potter , Greco and
games
and probably woujd have been
Walter Williams.
much
larger
had the accommodations
Newport Township—Wilbur Ruckbeen
greater.
The crowd came early
le, Nicholas Rudowski , Joseph Chockand
the
gymnasium
was filled a short
linski , Joseph" Bendock , Zigbund Natime
after
the
doors
were opened. In
jakn , Stanley Zwalaskie , Alex Shepaddition
to
the
fans
admitted on
ella and Clemens RogowicK.
tournament
tickets
,
there
were 78*J
In presenting the awards Dr. Reimindividual
tickets
sold.
This indier congratulated players and fans on
vidual
ticket
sale
was
the
largest in
their excellent behavior during the
the
history
of
the
Tournaments.
games and expressed the hope that
Amid the cheering of opposing
many of the students would come to
supporters
the final match was underBloomsburg Normal. The announceway
at
0:00
P. M. Both teams were
ments were made by Elfred Jones , of
over
eager
and
play wns quite ragged.
Nanticoke , ehairmun of- the tournn Wild
shots
were
made by both teams.
ment ,
Five
minutes
had
elapsed before DonThe forwards selected on the first
ahue
,
Nanticoke
forward , started
's
team were Zara , of Old Forge ; Yez1 with n field goal. A short
the
scoring
erskie , of Coal Township. Both boys
were excellent shots. Zava 's shoot- time later Serafm , Otd Forgo man ,
ing in all of the games wns sensation- tied the score with a pretty shot. Both
al. Ho is fust and can shoot with teams were playing n defensive game
either hand and from prncticully nny and wore waiting an opportunity to
position. He is n doud shot from the break through the opponent' s rank for
a score. Many of tho fans were watchcenter of the floor.
Ing the intensity of the battle between
Zara and Butkowlca, Tho former had
Continuod On Pago Five

few shots and they were hurried and
from difficult angles.
The period
ended with the score standing two all.
The second period opened. Butkewicz shot a foul for Nanticoke and
Bosta of Old Forge duplicated the
feat. Then , Bahaley scored a field
goal and for the first time in the game
Old Forge held the lead. Butkewicz
tied the score for his team with a
field goal and the "Nans" called time.
"Zara " shot a foul and Old Forge regained the lead. Plis team suffered a
loss when Bosta , ba ck gua r d , was ruled out of the game on personals.
G reco rep laced him. Donahue put the
"Nans" back into the lead with his
second field goal. Both teams fought
furiously for the ball and many tossups were necessary. Again Donahue
scored. Zara was fouled in the act of
shooting and made two free throws.
Serafin shot a foul to tie the score at
9-9 as the half ended.
With the exception of Zara all the
players were weak from the foul
line. Several of the shots from the
free thrown line were wild and a few
of them missed the banking board entirely. Nanticoke 's passing game began to tell at the end of the third
quarter. Grudkowski and Donahue
scored field goals when play opened.
Bahaley got his second score for Old
Forge. Dickson scored for Nanticoke. Nantic oke held a four point
lead at the beginning of the final
quarter.
Donahue scored first for Nanticoke
and then Zara , who had been held
scoreless from the field for twentyfive minutes , came through with a
pretty field goal.
Dickson scored
from the court and then Zara shot
two fouls. Butkewicz sent the ball
through the net and Estawnick scored twice. The "Nans" were leading
25-15. With three minutes to go
Nanticoke called time. When play
was resumed Serafin scored for Old
Forge and Btitkowick accounted with
a field goal for Nanticoke. Grudowski followed with his second field goal
of the night. Old Forge called time.
Butkewick was ruled out on personals and Williams replaced him. Zara
made the foul. The game ended a
few minutes later with Nanticoke the
victor , 20-18.
The score :
Nanticoke.
F. G. FJs. Pts.
Danahue—F ,
5
0
10
Butkewicz—F.
3
1 7
Williams—F.
0
0
0
Dickson—C.
2
0
4
Grudkowski—G.
2
0
4
Estawniek—G.
2
0
4
Totals
'
Zava—F.
Serafin—F
Potter—C.
Bosta^-G.

14

1

29

Old Forge.
F G. Fls. Pts.
1 0
8
2
1 5
0
0
0
0
1 1

Continued On Pago Fivo

Defeat Coal Township in Stron
Fight by the Score of
27 to 23.
After trailing for three period ;
Newport Township made a strong fin
ish in the Normal School Tournamen
last Saturday night to defeat Cot
Township by a score of 27 to 23 an
clinch third honors in the tournament
Bendock, Newport center, playei
his best game of the tourney in thi
contest and led his team in its secom
half rally. He scored four times
from the field during the second half
The game was hard fought all thi
way through and was any b o dy 's bat
tie until the closing minutes.
Led by Yezerskie, one of the bes
players in the tournament, Coa
Township shot off to an early lead
At the end of the first quarter thej
were in front 8 to 2. Coach Rogow
icz shifted his line-up in the secom
period and Newport managed to cu\
the Coal Township lead to one poin
before the half time.
Newport started its fight to victor;
at the resumption of play. Bendocl
led the attack and Shepella , Newpor
guard , who was at his best in th<
game, led the Newport boys in stopping Coal Township from scoring
Yezerskie , held scox*eless from tin
floor in the third period , scored twi
pretty shots near the close of thi
game.
The goals carried Coal Townshi]
to within two points of tying th
scoi'e with little more than a minuti
remaining. Newport effectually "kiU
ed" the ball until the Coal Townshi]
defense was drawn out of positioi
and then Bendock got through am
secured victory for his team with ;
field goal.
The summary :
Newport.
Rudowski—F
Ruckle—F.
Rogowicz—F.
Bendock—-C.
Shepella—G.
Chicklinsky—G.
-i
Zou—G.
Najaka—G.
Total

PG. Pls. Pts.
1 0
2
1 0
2
8
1 7
0
1 13
0
1
1
0
0
0
1 0
2
0
0
0 !
12

S

27

Coal Townshi p.
F. G. Fls. Pts,
Drill—F
1 0
2
Marquetto—C.
0
0
0
Yezorskie—F
5
0
16
Sandors—G.
2
1 5
Kobilis—G.
0
0
0
Total

8

7 _ 2S

Scoro by periods:
Newport
2 7 8
Coal Twp. —.
8 0 5
Referees—Bvyan and Lerda.
Timekeopor-—Rushin.
Scorer—Mathews.
Time of periods—8 minutes,

10
'I

I

I

A-

-:- -, SCHOOL NEWS -:- -:-

J lADIES , NOTICE !
i; Leaders Will Stage Gym
Party April 8.
Athletic Leaders will stage a
urty on Friday , April 8, 1927 ,
:30' P. M. to 1
3 will be amusemen ts for
ie regardless of age , size, disi or weigh t. A special feature
evening will be a professional
all game by the ladies engaged
ling in the Normal School. The
'. is as follows :
Yellow Jackets.
K. Loose, forward ; Miss C.
Ider, f orward; Capt. Miss Nell
I center; Miss Conway , side
Miss Edmunds, guard ; Miss
uard . Substitutes—Miss Rustiiss Jeffries, Miss Harriet
White Sox.
Maupin , forward ; Miss Mci, forward ; Capt. Miss Shaw,
Miss Canon , side center; Miss
, guard ; Miss Hayden, guard,
utes—Miss Mason , Miss Kulp,
)hnston.
,rs—Mrs. Duncan , Miss Ward.
ors—Miss Campbell , Miss Rob-

#£«—M—— .IU—» ¦—¦««—¦¦—•»—— ¦«-—¦¦—¦l^—li-^l "' —*
• •

j

Local Happenih &s

NANTICOKE TEAM WINS
ALL-TOURNAMENT TEAM
SCHOLASTIC CHAMPIONSHIP
HAS BEEN SELECTED

Continued From Page Four

Continued From Page Four

Bahaley—G.
4
2 0
Greco—G.
0 0
0
Williams—G.
0 0
0
It was a step forward in student Marina—G.
0
0 0
activities to recognize the members of
the Maroon and Gold staff by granting
Totals
5 8
18
each a letter. In the past members
Score by periods :
of athletic teams were the only ones
Nanticoke
2 7 6 14
receiving recognition. This is changOld Forge
2 7 2
7
ing everywhere. Other schools recFouls—Nanticoke 1 out of 10; Old
ognize the other school activities also. Forge 8 out of 15.
Referees—Bryant and Lerda.
Timekeeper—Gallagher.
The games organized and played by
Scorer—Coursen.
the women students are most excitTime of periods—8 minutes.
ing and interesting. They show a
wholesome spirit in the department
¦
»»
of phy sical education.
_
/

/

/

/

f

f

>

i

A fraternity among the young men
was installed on Friday. Congratulations to the charter members.

"WHEN v©u THINK OF

SHOES

////

Recently numerals were granted to
thirty girls who had secured 300
points in the field of physical educaTHINK OF
tion. The numerals were granted by
Dr. Reimer. The exercise was very
interesting.
////
Mr. John Davis, teacher at the Williamsport High School, spent the week
Sands has been working hard end here.
Cor. Main and Iron Sts.
:hing the Yellow Jackets while
do
to
expected
lite Sox can be
Many school officials and friends of
•s af ter the coaching they re- the various high school teams were at InHnMUMMMMMMMMa
rora Mrs. J. K. Miller.
the Normal iSchool last Fi'iday and
e unusual and startling cheer- Saturday . They evinced great interraid be heard under the direc- est in their teams. All of them could tHEwllEMH PlHll^^
' such capable cheer leaders as be proud of the work done by their I
i
fessie Pa tt erson , Miss Betty pupil s.
Mrs. Baker and Mrs. Keller.
When You Want
e prepared to see a thrilling
Grier and Hugo Rei mer are spend- I
Choose your t ea m and be a ing their spring vacation with their
>ooster , for i t w ill be a close p arents.

tyuckalew's"

/

/

/ 1

Athletic Leaders have gone to
t deal of expense and trouble
ire the services of a wonderful
mod ref er ee; one who , by reaher being reared in and having
il in such good communities as
on , Be t hl ehem , Nazareth , BethIt. Aarat, Salem, etc., is bou n d
iust , f a ir , and good. In fact , it
ily after much deliberation and
ng that the Athletic Leaders deupon Miss Eleanor Harriet Nelrc fere e fo r this big game.
Athletic Leaders will also give
lyone the opportunit y of seeing
w Junior Athletic Leaders go
rh their paces as part of their
ion.
t, but not least, bring your u\:o or the remains of it, for the
ic Lenders will sell sandwiches,
own , candy, cold drinks, etc.,
ocoods of which will go towards
hing our lobby. No admission
i! charged so wo can expect a
I fully furnishod lobby in the
1'u turo.
iiv your gym clothes girls. No
r ill be admitted who is not in
ittire. Costumes will be furnto faculty members if a request
lo to any Athletic Londor.
i

/

/

/ /

t i i i ,

I

GOOD EATS

So to
Mr. Nelson earned the gratitude of I
all in terested in the tournament. He
c
managed them very efficiently. They | Rgilly '$ Conf ectionery
were organized much better than in
They Serve the Best
$
the past.
»
/
/
/
*
B
Dr. Reimer is at Philadelphia to at- Bai
K
rtiiasMaa^^
tend the conference of Schoolmen 's
Week.
////
wiiiiimmiHiiiiiiiiiiiic j iiimiimiuitiM ^
Mike Kushma was among the visiting alumni on Saturday and Sunday.
1 1 1 1

The officials for the tournament ,
"Zip " Bryant and Steve Lorda , did
fine work. There were no objections
to their decisions.
/ /

Yezerskie is fast and is an excellent
player. He was a heavy scorer in all
the games. He is tall and fast, is a
fine floor worker and is cool and
steady at critical periods of a contest.
Eddie Butkewicz , of Nanticoke ,
was placed at center. Eddie played
forward in most of his games here
but is a fine center. He is good on a
tap off and is a fine floor worker. For
all around ability, he was one of the
best players that ever took part in
the games.
Bahaley, Old Forge running guard ,
was selected for that position on the
first team. Bahaley is a consistent
scorer and makes his points at times
when they were sorely needed. He
is also fast on the floor and can guard
a man well , without committing many
fouls.
Shepella, of Newport Township,
was elected as back guard. Shepella
was rarely drawn ou t of position and
was very adept at stealing the ball
away from a player and at forcing
players to shoot hurriedly and far
from the basket.
Donahue , Nanticoke cap tain and
Bender , of Luzerne, were placed at
the forward position on the second
team. Both were excellent shots and
fast on the floor. Bender , of Newpor t, was named cen ter. The guard
I
positions go to Bosta, of Old Forg-j ,
^
and to Sanders of Coal Township. All
of these boys filled their positions in
most credi table style during the
s games.
y The judges were : T. W. Booth,
Coach of a thletics
Normal
§ School ; Prof. Edwardat A.theReams,
of
the Normal School Faculty ; John
"Zip " Bryan t and Stephen Lerda.

I

I
THERE NEVER WAS ANYTHING
| But , That Someone
Else Could
Make
it
"Worse
and
Sell it
|
For
Less.
"
3
2

IS

SNEIDMAN'S JEWEL RY

| HEMINGWAY 'S
I§

S

A REAL MAN 'S STORE

^:iifcaiiriiuifiiicafiiiiiiiiiiicafiiifiiiftrfsaitfiiiiiiiiic3f

j iii]iiiiiicaiititii )iiiiC3iiiJit >iiiiic3 )ii)tiiiiiiicaiiiiiiitiiiir3iiniittiiiiramii

IS

)i}mir3 )iiiiiii }itic o

11

Miss Pigg has been indisposed for
about a week. She has recovered.
////
The repairs are again under way.
They should till bo finished in n short
time.

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"^

COLUMBIA

THEATRE

\'

TODAY and TOMORROW

"PRIVATE !ZZY MURPHY"

Foaturing GEORGE JESSELL-—VERA GORDON —NAT CARR

1 1 1 1

Mr. Fisher is visiting the schools of
Philadelphia this weak end.
////
Miss Mabel Moyor is at Bucknoll
University to secure her degree. Sho
oxpocts to do so by Juno.

^^^^ _ ¦
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bu
bbbb
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^

SATUPDAY CONTINUOUS
BUCK JONES—nnd—VIRGINIA BRO WN
—IN—

»•

"DESSERT VALLEY"

—

•««—»«l—-»l(--" lll——N« " —«ll---ll» »—ll <-»»«ll—«H—«»—«> " —«»—•»«i—" «ll—.ll»- ~IIH.—••«—>«—««<—«l«« .«l»
(«»(|,
|,«_,,_ „ ,

\ ' Laugh and Grow Fat
W -g-

g »-g-

a ir-

i

ag_ ' l

i

j

Local Happenings

|

j \ What Do You Know ?

|£« .—KIT——M^—M^—H i—UN——M^— »¦—-•¦——¦¦—•»—•»!•— ||fi»

Ruth Davies—Who was that lady
Margaret Williams had her hair
I seen you with last night?
cut.
Thelma Gordon is going to.
Moore—That wasn 't no lady. That
was my girl.
Willard Bennett has been rechristened "Harold Teen. "
////
T o m — Congratulate me. I've
clever.
though t of something
We have heard that a new fraterNick—Beginner 's luck.
nity has been organized. Now, maybe some of the girls will be wearing
////
fra ternity pins.
////
Mae—Who was that lady I seen
All the gii'ls are patiently waiting
you with last night?
Raker—Tha t wasn't no lady. That for Easter vacation , especially those
who have boy friends.
was my steady.
i i i i
i

/

i

i

i

/ / /

i > t >

We have fully decided that we are
Bill Trump, (at tournament)—Hey, no t going home the same week-end
you can't stand there.
that our marks go home.
Coursen—Yes, I can , offsher. Don 't
yon worry 'bout me. I been standin ' Sophia George is in competition
here an hour an ' ain 't fell yet.
with the Maroon and Gold. She is
now making a newspaper in the six th
////
grade.
Lucy—Who was that gentleman I
seen you with last night?
"Dot" Gresh made a hit when she
Alice—Tha t wasn 't no gentleman. led chapel. She also received her
That was my boy friend.
numerals.
/

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/

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/

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i i i i

////

"Kit" McHugh was looking for a
what I rummake sale the other day.
////
heard?
The Newport "gang " was grea tly
Benson—No , wha t ?
excited over the games. Many ar3
Bennett—I herd sheep.
the hearts that are weary tonight for
i I
Newport didn 't come out first.
Dee—Who was that gentleman I
All of the girls are letting their
seen you with last night?
grow, so , Art Jenkins decided to
hair
Ka thleen—That was no gentleman.
raise
a mustache.
Tha t was a guy from the Locker
////
Room.
Josephine Dormitory would like to
t > i i
know wha t happened to "Hook" MerCoursen—My girl's divin e.
rick's mustache.
"Eckie "—Yours may 'be de vine ,
////
bu t mine 's de berries.
Altha George has been seen on the
tennis courts already.
They are
parking
main
places.
Al's"
"
Tom—Who was that gentleman I
saw you with last night?
And by the way, it wouldn 't be a
Tony—That wasn 't no gen tlemr«a ; bad idea if the tennis courts were
that was a guy fi'om Nanticoke.
rolled.
Benne tt—Do you

/

know

/

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Helen Hergert has her neck bandaged
for a lump on the ear.
Millie—D o you like conceited men
bettor than the other kin d?
The "Young Hopeful " of Ber w ick
Mae—Whnt other kind?
^
will soon be with us again.
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Mnry Gallagher of second floor hirNick—Who was that gentleman I ed a new washer-woman from fourth
seen you with last night?
floor.
Alice—That wasn't no gentleman.
That was my finance.
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LOWENBERG 'S

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At a recent fire in England many
bull-dogs wore ovci'come by the heat.
THE BIG CLOTHING STORE
Hot Dog !
With Its One Prico to All Invites
Students to Examine the Newest
and Latest in
Raker—Who wns them Indies I
seen you with lost night?
MEN'S WEAR
Ruth—Them was no Indies. They
was my room-mates.
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Kathleen—I wns in wntor over my
hond for ton minutes nnd didn 't
drown.
Somers—How 's nt?
Kathleen—I was under n shower,

I J .

E. ROY'S
Jeweler

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J

^

S•

g

e-

^ K

Faculty Notes

\
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*Xa

"~

M

—

¦

"-

¦

fcM

—**

—M—

¦ ¦—¦¦

¦

-M

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Professor Hartline very ably]
the
cheers at the game last week.]
My dear Prof. — What is the short
r / / I
I
session of Congress called and why?
Answer—The short session of ConProfessor Bakeiess, with a grou
gress is called the "lame duck" students, enj oyed the dancing n
session because it is the last ap- at West Side pavilion last Wedno
pearance of the members who were evening.
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, defea ted.
Miss Conway raised the restricj
Dear Noe—What state was the first from the girls during the tournanj
to establish public schools?
Answer—Georgia was the first state
Miss Nell Moore gave a short!
to establish public schools.
in the lobby last Sunday in whicl]
expressed the opinion that stul
teachers
worked too hard and
Dear Prof.—Is Hawaii represented in
any
of
hers
who over-worked \\
Congress?
receive
a
well
deserved E.
I
Answer—Yes, bu t their representaI i r I
tive has no vote.
|
Two representatives of the Cofi
Soap
Company were present at Fj
Dear Noe—Where are the stone for- ty
meeting
last week. They sugj
ests of the United States?
ed
that
all
students who came I
Answer—In the Yellowstone National from Scranton
, Taylor, Old I]
Park in the canyon of the East
and
Nanticoke
should use less soi
Fork of the Yellowstone River.
l i f t
£
f
Prof. Reams claims that the t
are
age
where
student knows more about!
Dear Prof.—Wha t and
tory than the people who make j
"The Roaring Forties?"
Answer—The "Roaring Forties " is a
> >' >
I
term applied by sailors to a region
Miss
Maupin
said
that
all
in the southern hemisphere near should refrain from hair bobbing!j
latitude for ty degrees, where winds that any girl having bobbed
make navigation hazardous.
should not be allowed to teach.
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Dear Noe—What is the oldest university under the "United States flag?
Answer—The Universi ty of St. Thomas Aquinas, also known as the University of Santo Thomas , a t Manila
Philippine Islands. It was founded in 1601 by the Spaniards.
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Dear Prof. — What place does not observe Independence day on July

t / /1

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Miss Mason , in an address be!
the Y. W. C. A., said tha t she tho
that all lights should go out in tl
brary at 7:30 but not the stude
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Dr. Russell is willing to debate
any one that California is a 1]
colder state than Pennsylvania.
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Miss Edmonds persuaded Miss \
way
that the girls should be alii
4th and why?
ou
t
un t il 12:00 , midnight, i
Answer—Charl otte, N. C. Theye celEaster.
ebra te May 20 as Independence
> > i i
j
Day because according to local hisCoach
Booth
ordered all base]
tory on that date in 1775 the residents of Charlotte and Mecklen- t ennis a n d t r a ck m en t o ea t as iJ
burg Counties signed The Mecklen- ice cream and cake and drink as iJ
burg Declaration of Independence, sour milk as possible.
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decl aring themselves free and inProf. Shortess has announced
dependent of Great Britain.
any student wishing an electric
imd a floor lamp in her room sh
Dear Prof.—Does sound travel fast- see him nnd he would furnish s
er through water or through atmos- free from his laboratory.
phere ?
Answer—Through water at the rate
Prof. Wilson ..filed his applicn
of 4 ,700 feet a second. Sound for athletic coach the other day.
travels through atmosphere nt promised winning teams in all sp
1,090 feet per second.
including checkers.
////
Dear Noe—Whnt is the menning of
Prof. Rhodes claims thnt nil s
the term horsepower?
ents from Hazleton , Wilkes-Bnm1
Answer—One horsepower is the pow- Scranton were failure s ns teacluj
<
er to lift one foot in one minute.
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Dr. Reimer gave an addres
Dear Prof.—Where is tho United chapel which took the students
States government conducting ex- their feet , after which tho variom
perimental work on rubber?
structors picked tho students
Answer—At the U. S. Plnnt , Intro- again.
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duction Garden at Chapmnn Field,
"hoar Cocoanut Grove , about twelve
Prof. Keller removed nil res
miles south of Miami, Florida.
tions from North Hall over the vv<
end nnd requested thnt nil noise
Dear Noe—Whnt investment, now un- siblo bo made,
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iversal, was once considered gambblirt® and was prohibited by law in
Thanks to Miss Ward we had i
France?
chops nnd French fried potatoes
Answer—Life insurance.
Friday.
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I

TEST YOURSELF

B
m What is a girl and why-?
9 Name throe famous movie stars ;
¦
now name three famous educa¦
tors.
9 Define lagoon and you may have

I it.
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Is a bat a mammal , fish , war
club or a spree?
Plow much money was made on
Stunt Nite ?
When will "Silver King " be
shown ?
Why is a libr ary ?
Who originated the say ing,
"That aint no lady. That's my
wife?"
What team should have won the
tournament?
What gods made their home on
Mt. Olympus?

l\nswers will be found on the last
Ifc of our next issue. Try and find
|m.

—B. S. N. S.—

I

IACON DAVIES TO
REPAIR SOULS
[
Mil Open Institution on Campus.
¦
Students Asked to Cooperate.
¦Deacon Davies of the Middler Class
8s decided to do a good deed which
Ms been much needed by the students
OT Bloomsb urg State Normal School
Her since its opening. For two long
wars Deacon has contemplated deepM over the enterprise in which he is
m\v going to indulge. While watchmp the various pathways which the
»iclcnts of this institution tread day
¦ter day—some of which seem to
¦ve no end or goal—he made his
flml decision , that is, to repair soles.
¦
He has decided to work his way
¦rough school by becoming a cobbler.
Bow the students will not even have
B leave the campus to have their
Bios repah'ed and their cooperation
Hill aid "Deacon " considerably in
aiming some money.

—B. S. N. S.—

I

PLYMOUTH TEAM GETS
I MEDALS AT TOUR NAMENT
lames Off All the Prizes at BasketI
ball Tournament.
Although the Plymouth team was
ot a contender for the honors in the
L'holastic Basketball Tournament
old hero recently, they carried off all
onora. This is unusual , but as this
i the dn 'y of unusuals , it happened,
iig "Pete" Stevens , flashy full back
n the Red and Black team, smashed
lie show case in which tho medals
nd cups were displayed. Before
Bill" Trump arrived at the scene ,
he team had acquired all the prises
nd made off with them , much to the
liagrin of the teams entered in the
I liampionship tournament.

J. C. MERCER
stationery

Patent Medicine ?

GEORGA WASHINGDONE

PROF. BAKELESS STEPS
OUT WITH GIRLS

Georga Washingdone vas a vera
gooda man. Plees fadda he kepa
One of our psychologists, Prof.
bigga place in Washingdone Strit. Bakeless, has been seen taking many
cherra , peacha , pluma , chesnutta , moves in the past, and his final step
He hada a grata bigga lot planta wees gave rise to the writing of this arpeanutta , an ' banan trees. He sella ticle.
to mena keepa da stands. Gooda mana
Most all of the students have been
to Italia mana vas Georga Washing- watching lately the problem which
done. He no lika de Ireesh. Kicka Mr. Bakeless has been confronted
dem vay lika dees.
with in trying to have conferences
One day wen Georga , hees son , vos with the students of his various classd e esa hig h, like de hoppa grass, he es in his office. Sometimes his office
takes hees leetle hatchet an ' he be- has been packed so full that room for
ginna fool round de place. He vas another person could not be found.
verra fresh , vas leetle Georga. Putta On Tuesday of last week the climax
soon he cutta down de cherra tree of the situation came off. The office
lika dees. Dat spoila de cherra crop was filled and students were still comfor de season. Den he goa round an ' ing towards his office. Soon a numt ry kill a d e bana n an ' de peanutta ber o f girls had accumulated outside
trees.
of the office. Two of these girls had
Poota soona Georga 's fadda coma to hurry to catch the last bus to Berrounda quicka lika dees. Den he lifta I wick. Mr. Bakeless stepped out with
up hees fista , looka lika beeg buncha the girls , in the hall , compl et ed hi s
banan , an ' he vas j oost goin ' to giva ,co nference there and then returned
litta Georga de smaka on de snoota i to his office , wher e he work ed har d
if he tole lie. Hees eyes blaza lika with the remainder of the girls.
dees.
The sympathy of the student body
Litta Georga he say in hees minda : ; is with Mr. Bakeless in not being af"I gitta punch , annyhow, so I tella forded a larger office in which he may
de square ting." So he holda up hees do the work more efficiently.
litta hands lika dees, an ' he calla
"Tima !"
—B. S. N. S.—
Den he says, "Fadda , I cutta de
cherra tree weesa my own leeta hatch- Y. W. C. A. GIRLS ABOUT TO
DIE
et !"
Hees fadda he say, "Coma to de
With the new administration of the
bai-n weesa me, leetla Georga , I wanta
Y.
W. C. A. coming into office many
speeka weesa you !"
changes
will take place. The axe will
Den hees fadda cutta bigga club fall heavily
upon the necks of those
an ' he spitta hees han 's lika dees.
who
do
not
Litta Georga say, "Fadda , I could ards. It has come up to their standdecreed that all of
notta tella de lie because I know you the old staff been
of
Y.
W. C. A. officers
cotta me deda to rights. "
will die before Easter. This will be
Den de olda man he smila lika dees,
terrific blow to those concerned.
an ' he tooka litta Georga righta down aThe
Y. W. C. A. girls have decided
to Walla Strit an ' made heem a presi- that many kiddies
do not receive a
dent of da United States.
visit from the Easter Bunny. These
girls will dye eggs and distribute them
—B. S. N. S.—
among the pupils of the training
school. This is a favor which will be
MALE ENTERS GIRLS' DORM appreciated by all
those who partake
of these joys .
Girls Frightened Badly. Girls in Bad
Situation.
—B. S. N. S.—
Much unpleasantness arose in the
.Girls' Dorm on Monday of last week
when the news was spread about of
a certain male entering the dorm.
Girls gathered on all floors in groups
and had immediate discussions of tho
situation.
Some began to tell how their parents would feel when the sad news
was carried to them. Many thought
of the manner in which they would
break the news to their sweethearts
at home. 'Twns a sad situation for
all of them.
Hurriedly they rushed down to second floor , through the librax'y into the
room across the hall. There it was.
Many notes from the office. After
tearing them open it was found that
they wore not deficiencies , but rather
invitations to a Kids ' Party to be
held by the Junior Prom.

CO MPLIMENT S
—OF—

VICTORIA

THIS MAY BE TRUE

HELEN OF TROY NEVER WAS
Startling Assertion Made by Student
of History.
While delving deep into ancient
Greek mythology, Willard G. Bennett,
a Freshman at the Normal School , has
discovered that there never was such
a person as Helen of Troy. Bennett's
translation of the Greek myth upon
which he bases his conclusion follows :
"The Greek and Trojan warriors
quarreled over the relative pulchritude of their respective damsels. In
order that the momentous question
might be settled forever-and-a-day,
the people of the provinces set a day
aside for the ju dging of the most '
beautiful woman of these parts of the
world. Women from all Grecian cities and Troy assembled on the Acropolis to be looked over by the judges.
As the Greeks greatly out-numbered
the Trojans all judg es appointed were
Greeks. The judges took their places on the stands. The most beautiful
women of Greece and of Troy displayed themselves before them. The
judg es after looking the beauties over
caref u ll y made their decision. The
most dignified member of the tribunal
arose and in a solemn voice announced: "Sarogahtypa is the most pulchritudinous of the fair maidens. " At
this announcement the entire Greek
populace groaned as one : "Hell 'n
of Troy. " Our modern historians not
understanding Greek, mistook the
groan for a cheer for Helen of Troy. "
—B. S. N. S.—

NEW PLANET DISCOVERED
BY NATURE STUDENTS
Jack Morris, he of the hefty chest
and strong forearms, is getting into
the pink of condition. This is accounted for by the fact that he takes
his Daley exercising on the tennis
courts and in the lobby.
—B. S. N. S.—

MID SEMESTER TESTS GIVEN

After much estimating Mr. Nelson
and Coach Booth have come to the
A girl was asked to explain wh/ conclusion that if they had tried to
men never kiss each other , while crowd many more people into the
women do. She replied :
gymnasium last Saturday nigh t there
"Men have something better to wouldn 't be much room left.
kiss ; women haven 't."
—B. S. N. S.—
—B. S. N. S.—
Prof Nelson suggested that candy
be served with our meals in order to
pi'eserve the students' teeth.

OIL DISCOVERE D
ON MT. OLYM PUS

Tucker Troy has announced that in
order to facilitate his daily trips to
the outskirts of Danville , he will have
a schedule made. Those goin£ to
mismMBimis^msmsis^sEEEBisim
'Danville by auto at 8:30 A. M., please
LEADER STORE CO. write Troy.
— B. S. N. S.—

John W. Knies, Mgr.
Bloomsburg

-»•

•»-

Pa.

"ij UALITY IS REMEMBERED
LONG AFTER PRICE IS
FORGOTTEN."
©ffliaiiffl ^^

TENNIS PLAYER S
SH OW IMPR OVEMEN T
During the past weolc Horboy
Grotz , the efficient all around man at
Norih Hall , placed new globes in all
corridors of that buildin g1, Ono enn
now walk through the halls without
fear of boing manhancUo d ,

NORMAL WINS TWEN TIETH
PROF. KELLER COMES UPON
CONSECUTIVE GAME
HAIR RAISING SCENE
While on Joy Ride Toward Town of Defeats G. A. R. of Wilkes-Barre ,
Brilliant Exhibition.
Lewisburg.

in

"PORKIE" HOYT HELD UP

NEW EDITORIAL POL ICE

Dashing Young Beau Brummel Under- Continued From Page One
goes Dreadful Experience.

The dashing young Beau Brummel,
Wilbur
t, better known as "PorkBloomsburg Normal Varsity has so ie wasHoy
Spring is here. W hen it comes the
held up recently.
tragically
"
usual accompaniments that follow an far met and defeated all opponen ts in Because of Mr. Hoy t's excessive
all lines of athle tics without a seto c casi on , including the old and re- back. The twentieth victory was in wealth in j ewels and money, he has
nou nced fever. This fever has been the last basket ball game. Their op- been subj ected to a number of attacks
by bandits.
raging 'in the form of an epidemic in ponen ts were the G. A. v 3t. team of
"Porkie " couldn 't relate what hapNorth Hall for the past two weeks. Wilkes-Barre, undefea t ed before their pened. He thinks some one hit him
Spring had something else in store game here.
on the head, for suddenly everything
The game started when the umpire went
occuother
two
Later, he recalled having
and
Keller
for Prof.
yelled "Play Ball." On this instant ! taken black.
on
a
passenger
on first floor ;
in
the
Gapt. Bradshaw pun ted the ball for j she was a striking blonde
pants of North Hall. It was
with a wonthe longest pop of the season when ' derful personality but she
form of a scare or thrill.
disthe ball landed between the goal posts ' appeared when "Porkie s hadvision
Last Saturday morning Mr. Keller, but
'
"
English -which was on the bail cleared. He hid under cover until
who had decided to get a little re- keptthe
it
from going through the net. he was sure the bandit had withdrawn.
such
was
temperature
creation—the
The
rebound
was one which was in He gained courage to come slowly
lounge
to
easier
tfiat it was much
favor
of
our
opponen
ts and , of course, i out of his hiding place. He wended
with
brain
your
around than tax
one
of
their
dashing
tackles recover- his way through the halls and down
roadster
his
studies—jumped into
ed
the
ball,
making
a
clean sweep of the steps until, at last, after many
for
a
students
and took two so-called
all
the
high
hurdle
s
for
440 yards, narrow escapes and severe collisions,
L§wtowai'd
ride. Their course was
then
making
a
pivot
for
about
four he reached first floor.
isburg.
more.
Lavelle
made
a
poor
tackle
octhe
that
not Mr. Hoyt's idea to tell
The morning was such
the dashing forward poppe d one ' of Ithiswas
up-liftin g experience, but evicupants of the chummy roadster sat and
in and made the ini tial bucket. The ' dently some one had followed him.
back with ease and let th e rest of th e
half
frozen roo t ers , with their galosh- For before he
had reached his place
world roll by.
es
,
fur
coa ts and straw hats on, be- of abode the news
had arrived. When
The only thing that could be heard ga n to go
an unexpected frenzy "Porkie " came to a light
on this still morning was the rhythmic after the into
he found
sensational pop made by that his jewel s and money were
The motorists
hum of the motor.
gone.
the G. A. R. leader. The game went
Af ter every one was on the trail
were near Lewisburg and silence had on
this way until the fourth inning, j (including Prof. Keller s police dog)
prevailed for the past five minutes. when
'
Capt. Bradshaw picked a man ' searching for his valuables,
Suddenly the three of t hem heard a off second
he remem,
pole vaulting ju st i bered that he had left the mat
shot, which seemed like a thunderbolt enough to putthen
ball through the net However , this does n ot accounhome.
as it cut the deep silence. A scream ! for the first the
t for
score.
This evened the hold-up.
such that would hurdle any human be- things up , making
the struggl e more
Investigations were made—various
eing 's blood came with the loud re- intense and interesting.
port. All knew it to be a girl's voice. from the stands for A cheer came facts were brought to view and finalbest basket ly with the aid of the Sherlock
Another screeching noise followed , ball player tha t ever the
donned
a head- Holmes of North Hall (W. Bennett)
bu t this time it w a s from the car as
gear,
"Capt.
Joey
!
Rah
!
Rah
!
"
we discovered that something- had
the Jordan 's powerful four-wheel t he score h a d alternated for a After
while gone wrong with the power
brakes were set. The occupants "Joey
and
running mate, Jamieson , "Porkie " had been held up between
ju mped out of the vehicle and ran to- made 's"
a perfect (Kelly) slide , re- third and four th floors—in
wa r d t he house , where ' t he sho t a nd
the elebounded t o his fee t, and sen t ouv va t or whil e in p u rs u i t of
scream had origina ted.
his du t ies a s
Mater into the lead just as the indoor avia tor.
Two quick shots again broke the ! Alma
time-keeper
yelled "Time up, first
silence. They seemtid to come from half.
"
behind the huge barn. As the three
Af ter the boys had their final rubqui ckened their steps and ran toward do w
they returned to the ring with Let's all come out with our best bricks
the rear of the building, they again highn ,hopes
heard the screams and a growl or which they ofhadretaining the lead for and make their visit one that will
fought so valiantly. never be forgotten.
snarl , w hich seemed t o come f r o m The score remained
just as it was
some animal in distoess. The fyoya when t he firs t h a lf ended
, until the
arrived at the scene. A man stood last few minutes
when
the
G. A. R.
befor e them with a smoking revolver lef t-fielder picked
one
off
the
centerin his hand. Not far away a girl of field fence and shot from past
the
Special
about eight years was lying on the foul line to even things
up
again.
Prices
ground crying. Prof. Keller immed- This time tho G. A.
to
iately ran to the girl to determine could stand the strain/R. grand stand I
no longer and
how severely she wns inj ured. Be- had to give in.
Normal
tween her sobs she pointed to a police
Students
the commotion was going on ,
dog that lay on the ground some dis- t heWhile
w his t le ble w, tho game endtance ahead. The two boys wore too ed infi naal deadlock.
frightened to move and stood still , decided that two Therefore , it was
extra innings bo
wa tching the horrible scene. The man played to decide the
bout. Neither
approached Prof. Keller and told him side scored in the
first
minutes.
that there was absolutely nothin g With one second to gofew
our
"Joey "
wrong. He explained that he owned made a ninety yard dash
,
jumped
hi\vo-n\ising land. The dog, which throe or four feet ,
an ovorwas n favorite pet of the little girl's, hoad throw and scoredmade
the
winning
wns a menace to the hares in that he field goal. The Maroon and
often killed them. He tried different rooters went wild and gave our Gold
team
methods in trying to stop the animal such a reception as has
never
boon
Studio
from this , but every effort failed. He known in tho history of tho school.
of
decided to kill the nnimal and the
Photography
apchild resented very much. She
''''
peared on the scene j ust as the shootNext Game With Old Waiters
'i
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ing wns to take place and bogged for
Home Team.
Faculty Manager Nelson has anthe dog 's life.
Personal Cards
Tho three retraced thoir stops to nounced that ho had been fortunate Dance Programs
rnthor
slowly.
onough to secures tho Old Waiters '
tho enr but this timo
Prof laughed when ho realized that Homo team for the noxt attraction on
t • Bell Phone—258R.
tho joke was on thorn. Indeed , it had Mt. Olympus. This tonm is captainod
Danville, Pa.
by that renowned leader , Taeks Davis, Stationery
boon ft "hare-raising" scone.
Tickets

Off

the students it was not; the edd
ships were not merely honorary, ,
meant control. It did not voice i
wishes of the school. It was nojj t
voice of the peop le; it was t he U
of the oligarchy, the Czar and hiss
lowers, the editor-in-chief and hijij
sistants. Invoiced their opinions
their wishes, not ours. It was
confined t o cer t ain a ct ivi t ies , no
were covered. Many poems of
it orious st at e , mellifulous and mi
ious , were turned down by the
regime. It did not recognize thi
for ts of genius. It would not a
one bit of its power to be usu
from it. It controlled. As Ca
put it, "It came, i t saw, it conquei
Bu t this condition could not
tinue forever. The plotters sli
have foreseen that. A new elei
was to arise and overthrow ol
chy ! Democracy the voice of the
pie ! The usurpers are overthr
crushed , their, power broken !
people have spoken ! They are
tor ious!
Studen ts, we now have a
which would with-stand the criti
of any person or body. It is a
reproach. We have an editor \v
only thought is to fulfill the wishi
th e majority. The assistants
worthy people who are represent;
of the student body ; ones who k
condi tions as they are, hav e been ,
will be. They are awake to see
takes and profit by them. They
cover all di visions of school act
thoroughly. The smallest, least
portant club shall be given a writ
and with good-will. The wishes
opinions of the people, the stud
the ruling public , shall be reco
in these col um ns ! ! !
Fello w stu den t s, we, the new
of t he Maroon a nd Gold , herebj
declar e that we shall strive to b
foi'th a favorable and commend
condition in the management oi
school paper ; that we shall be <
to suggestions from any and all
sons; that all contributions, shal
gratefully accepted and that we
strive to keep the paper filled
news which shall give the opinion
the common people .
Given on this day of April the I
in the year of our Lord , nineteen 1
drod and twenty seventh , and oi'
new staff the beginning of the fn
R. I.

HOLTON SAXOPHO NES
TRUMPETS , TROMBONES , E

LEEDY & LUDWIG DRUMS

VEGA VIOLINS and BANJO

Special Discount to Normal Sch<
Students or Graduates,

YOHN & C
SERVICE PRINTERY OLIVER
234 Mill Street
-:-

Danville,

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